Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

A girl crush and a girl I’d like to crush

Posted by AllieB on January 24, 2011

Dear Genie in a bottle or similar,

I have three wishes for today/this afternoon. Let’s see what we can work out.

  1. I wish I looked like Minka Kelly because she looks awesome in these pics for her new movie w Leighton Meester (can’t wait to see!), and AND she is Tim Riggins’s dreamweaver on FNL. I think I would really enjoy being his dreamweaver. Heeeey, Minka. First Mila, now Minka…I guess I have a thing for long-haired brunette beauties who have weird two-syllable M-names. Minka might be kind of boring, actually, but I’m still carrying my torch for Mila.
  2. I wish that Season Two of Nurse Jackie was on Showtime OnDemand
  3. I wish that Jessica Simpson would refrain from tweeting about her fiance’s “perfect Tush.” And I really really wish that, when I goog’ed “Jessica Simpson Tush,” I hadn’t learned about a song entitled Push Your Tush that J Simps wrote for her 2006 album, An Epic Fail A Public Affair. I really hate being such a jerk when it comes to Jessica, but she really brings out the curmudgeon in me and I get very frustrated with what a dope she is. Here are some lyrics. This is embarrassing.

My head feels like it might explode…I think the last stanza really did me in. Maybe I should wish for a greater understanding when it comes to the exhausting behavior of idiot celebrities on my next wishlist. Speaking of idiot celebrities, LiLo is out and about and looking well…! Wishing you only the best, LiLo…see look – I can be nice.

4 Responses to “A girl crush and a girl I’d like to crush”

  1. HB said

    I don’t have any in particular to comment, but I thoroughly enjoyed this post. Howdy do.

  2. Jamie said

    I think you’ve found your theme song.

  3. Pal said

    This post made me both lol and come dangerously close to a dome explosion. Push your tush straight into traffic, JSimp. Seriously.

  4. AllieB said

    This is so not my theme song, Jamie. I don’t even know what she’s talking about – half those words aren’t words, and I know that bc when I cut and pasted them into Word the entire thing was a mess of red and green squiggles.

    I wonder what IS my theme song…

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