Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for August, 2012

Thirsty/Thrifty/Throwback Thursday

Posted by AllieB on August 23, 2012

The Donkey and I were enjoying half-price beers and tacos last night at The Ivy*, and chatting about what have you: my move, our friends, the DOW index, Jessica Simpson’s weight status…etc. I am my own best resource for all things pertaining to JSimps, so when we wanted to look at pics, I searched my JSimps tag which I affix to any and all posts wherein I discuss my favorite buxom blonde. Well, turns out I’m something of a prophet – please read what I wrote about her on September 29, 2011 in response to a tabloid article claiming she was pregnant (this was a month before she officially confirmed it):

Everyone knows that InTouch is for photographic perusal ONLY and that their news reporting is almost always erroneous, but when they say things like this – I pay attention: EXCLUSIVE: IT’S OFFICIAL: JESSICA SIMPSON IS PREGNANT.

No one is really giving InTouch an exclusive anything (except that stupid LeAnn Rimes, maybe – she is the WORST), but I’m going with it. To quote another newsworthy source, Hollywood Reporter, “Jess has sorta looked pregnant for awhile. Now she actually is!” I can’t decide if I want her to be or not…you can’t make fun of pregnant people for being fat. Though she could really blow up – the same article also reported that she’s craving nachos dipped in chocolate, so this is promising…I guess now she’ll actually have to confirm or deny via reputable news source.

I knew, in my heart of hearts, that was she was going to be an enormous pregnant lady, and I was RIGHT! So validating. And I think we can all agree that I’ve officially put the nail in my karmic coffin re: my own unpleasant pregnancy…so I’ve got that to look forward to, which is neat. There hasn’t been a picture of post-baby Jessica since early July…I am waiting with breath that is bated for the next sighting.

This was the throwback part of the post. Also, this:

Happy Birthday to Tina in 2007! I forgot to acknowledge your b-dizzle last week, so here is a tardy holla. We went to MJQ, and it got wild…HOLY SH*T THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO. I can’t…I don’t…I’m having a really hard time processing that truthbomb – ha, more like truth nuclear warhead. Ugh. At least my hair isn’t that color anymore; BBT is not a blonde.

It’s funny to me that I really don’t read other blogs, but I do read Witty + Pretty, a very informative site written by a fellow Atlantan who clearly knows her stuff. This week she introduced me to the wonder that is Songza. Songza is a FREE music app that has like a gazillion different playlists for any occasion – literally, any occasion.  There are lists for activities, such as: Curing Road Rage, Sitting on a Back Porch, Walking Through a City, lists for moods: Lush, Sexual, Trashy, and they also have genres and categories you can search…I feel like I discovered a whole new portal to the internet or something – there are seemingly unlimited options. Also, I know said this a second ago but I’m saying it again: Songza is FREE and there are ZERO commercials. Smell ya later, Pandora; Songza 4 eva. (This is the thrifty portion, btw.)

Thirsty? Why, yes, I am. If you feel like getting complicated, I refer you to this list of Atlanta’s 10 Most Iconic Drinks – that margarita at Agave has my name all over it – or you can go the simpler route with this:

Look, there’s three for me one for each of us.

That’s it for Thursday. Peace playas.

*I’m already nostalgic for The Ivy – I realized this as I signed my $9 tab for 3 beers and chicken tacos; that is a freaking steal. And I also just realized that this little afterthought blurb incorporates all three of today’s talking points: thirsty, thrifty, and throwback. Man, I am GOOD.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Bad writing, fine dining, and kids that are rich

Posted by AllieB on August 22, 2012

I posted last week about the UGA student who wrote an allegedly satirical column on how to find that perfect husband in college. A lot of people hadn’t seen it before, and a lot of people had comments – is she serious, is this a joke, please tell me this is not real, etc. Ever the diligent journalist, I delved deeper and tried to ascertain just what exactly the author was trying to achieve. Turns out she wrote a follow-up article entitled, “Writer of ‘How to find perfect husband in college’ reveals true nature of column”, and now I really can’t stand her. She opens with:

To all who do not understand satire…

I quit reading after that, so I guess I’ll never know what she was trying to accomplish, and, frankly, I’m unsure I have the capacity to care less. The last thing a contested writer needs to do is condescend those who deigned to read her material. I’m not a moron, and I, for the most part, tend to catch on pretty quick, and it was in no way clear to me that she was being funny – and that’s me playing real fast and loose with the word “funny.”

Puppy break!

In light of my imminent departure, I’ve made a concerted effort to make the most of Atlanta and all of its delights. Read: I’ve been going out to eat a lot. I’m kind of embarrassed about that “bucket list” I posted several weeks back re: things I wanted to do before I left. Surely I know better than to announce plans of intention on BBT – they so rarely pan out, and then I look like I don’t follow through on stuff. Which, whether or not that’s true, would be a moot issue if I didn’t open my big mouth in the first place. I don’t prefer announcing plans to people – some might argue this would hold you to keeping them, others (moi) might say mind your own beeswax. So, about dining out:

Bistro Niko: Just a really excellent meal of food. I got the steak frites with both the bernaise and the maitre d’hotel butter (obviously) and it was nothing short of decadent. It’s a happening place, Bistro Niko is. Also, when I was younger my barometer of gauging a restaurant’s “cool factor” was the bathroom: the bathrooms at BN are pretty tight. BBT says: I liked it before, but – if I were sticking around – I could see it becoming a real go-to.

The Optimist: I’m sick of talking about The Optimist. It’s great, and if you haven’t been you should go, but can we please stop talking about it.

Big Ketch: I could likely survive a good long while off their hush puppies. I still haven’t had anything else on the menu. Do, however, beware of patrons taking a mid-meal snooze on the patio…this really happened, I snapped the pic myself. Man down; lock it up; where are her friends she’s passed out in her chair.

Grindhouse Killer Burgers: Hell yes. This place rocks – it is currently my favorite of the burger places. I got an Apache Turkey burger (pepper jack cheese, grilled onions, and green chiles), and it was awesome. I might go back again before I go.

Flip Burger: Meh. I’m kind of over Mr. Blais.

All of these places, of course, are listed on the spreadsheet with pertinent info.

Blog of the Week: Rich Kids of Instagram (credit: Lia)

Actual photo caption: Matching… #Ferrari #inmylivingroom #oneofushas2change #hamptons #NBD

 To give you just a little bit of perspective, this is my last Instagram:

 Actual photo caption: My two loves: 32 oz of beverage and a royal compact. Best gift ever @carriewyatt!

Suddenly my two loves seem…inadequate. At least I’m not a total d-nozzle; I, for one, am able to dress myself with the utmost confidence that I will in no way resemble my Ferrari. This guy’s totally bush league.

Hope you’re doing something happy on this happiest of hump days – I intend to.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink, Imparting Wisdom, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 7 Comments »

People I Want to Punch in the Face

Posted by AllieB on August 16, 2012

Want: unlike the rest of the free world, I enjoy physically writing down my to-do lists as opposed to keeping track of tasks electronically. My reasons are twofold: first, it’s still way more satisfying to cross things off manually then check a little box on my Wunderlist app, and, second, I am continually amazed at how horrible my handwriting is, and it entertains me to see it degenerate with each passing day. A nice bonus of the latter is that sometimes I cannot read items on my list, therefore I cannot fault myself when they do not get done. Admittedly, a con is people getting a hold of these lists…but I found these highly personalizeable agenda/to-do books online, and I must purchase:


May Books – choose from like a zillion patterns/colors/monograms – you can even choose what’s on the inside, you can even choose a “Bump Book” wherein you can paste pictures of your sonogram. I am fine with this because maybe if you are putting your sonogram in your Bump Book, you are not putting it on Facebook. Okay, retract…..I’m going to talk about this – I really don’t want to offend anyone, so please read carefully: I enjoy seeing/tracking baby progress of people I know and love; unfortunately I have, like, 2000 friends on Facebook (humble brag!) therefore am learning a LOT more information about people I vaguely knew in 2005 than I’d really prefer. However, isn’t it my fault for not tidying up my friend list? I’m sure the girl I sold ads with at the Red and Black has lots of friends who have a vested interest in her trimesters; it just isn’t me. But instead of berating her for daring to keep her loved ones informed, maybe it is beholden to me to take action. Facebook has become a highly public information-sharing arena – few people really understand the privacy settings, and I’m guessing many don’t even realize just how much info they’re actually putting out there. If you’re that offended, quit. There, I addressed the baby/Facebook issue. May it never be mentioned again. The people bitching are becoming just as obnoxious as the people about whom they are bitching. Besides, you do realize you can choose who does/doesn’t appear in your mini-feed…if you don’t want to see the stuff, simply remove the culprit. Or block them. No, blocking is stupid – just take a second and change your filters. Truly, it’s not rocket science.

And I thought I was just talking about monogrammed to-do lists?? That kind of went awry…

Moving along! I am getting very VERY excited about my imminent move to New York. Even watching the tourists in matching, ill-fitting, way-too-tight-around-the-neck orange t-shirts go bananas in the plaza of Studio 1-A in Rockefeller Center on the Today Show gets me excited. I might even do that one day. Who knows?! As Sister has pointed out, I think I’m really going to enjoy to anonymity of NYC…just me and my horrible sense of direction wandering around the city…which reminds me, I’m definitely going to need another phone charger to carry around on my person so I am never without gps and/or enough battery life to call Sister and leave her phone messages of me sneezing. I have a really loud sneeze.

Case in point: page two of notes from my meeting earlier this week with Emily about w.port…we were planning her grand opening event.

Don’t worry, Emily, I’ve got the invites under control. Seriously, I can read this just fine – I blurred the pic on purpose…you know, for effect.

BTW – I don’t really have a list of people I want to punch in the face. That’s a bit aggressive…I keep track of that stuff right up here {slow tap to my temple topper} – as if I’d be foolish enough to write names down.

PS – speaking of the R&B, I trust y’all saw that horrific column, “How to find that perfect husband in college” – I’ll tell you who won’t be guest-blogging on BBT: that girl. Vom to tha max. I wonder if she wrote that nonsense on purpose, going so over the top as to put herself on the map…if so, kudos, especially since she’s not even that good of a writer. BURN.

Thirsty Thursdizzle!

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 9 Comments »

w.port atlanta: a boutique & a lifestyle

Posted by AllieB on August 15, 2012

w.port is the type of store where you walk in, fling your arms out wide, and announce, “I want everything!” Upon further perusal, you’ll find that you really do want everything – including the furniture – and begin to contemplate how you might purchase the effortlessly chic aura of owner, Emily Bean, as well. Emily is a Westport, CT native (hence the name), and she’s selling a lot more than just clothes in her new Buckhead boutique; she’s selling a lifestyle.

W.Port Boutique Atlanta; owner Emily Bean Livezey

I barged in on Emily earlier this week to hear more about the store and get a sneak peek on what all she’s been doing in there…she basically had to kick me out. Between the sumptuous clothing and the inviting, bright space, I felt like I was suddenly a lady of leisure relaxing in a beach house on the coast, probably enjoying a crisp beverage and wearing a breezy blouse (she’s got some great breezy blouses – hello, Equipment) with nary a care in the world…

WASHABLE leather jacket; button down galore; the coziest sweater ever – all will be available this fall at w.port

However, in spite of this effortlessly chic persona put forth by Emily and her store, it goes far beyond that. Diagnosed with leukemia several years ago, Emily has devoted endless hours since her recovery giving back to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society by running half and full marathons to raise money on their behalf. The launch of her store will impede on her time to train, so instead she will donate two percent of her profits to the Society, as well as hosting Team in Training events for those still competing.

w.port features some lines that you can only find at the mall, thereby eradicating any need at all, whatsoever, to go to the mall (THANK GOD) such as Rebecca Taylor, but Emily, with her northern roots, is also bringing in lines that aren’t even found in the south, such as Emerson Fry. What’s more, her jewelry and accessories are truly one-of-a-kind in Buckhead, featuring some gorgeous pieces from a designer who resides in the mountainous town of San Miguel, Mexico, where she personally chooses her stones and designs her wares. She carries Presmer leather goods – of which I would like one of each – and has cultivated a new, surprise concept, one that will set her apart from any other Buckhead retailer – to be revealed upon store opening. Emily isn’t the only fashion maven behind w.port, she says she couldn’t have done this without her business partner, Pat Mastandrea, who still resides in Westport. She is a successful business owner in NYC and believed in Emily and her vision of w.port and has been an invaluable voice of reason and expertise.

One-of-a-kind earrings; Presmer leather goods

w.port ranges from casual to cocktail, from a variety of colors/fabrics of Mother jeans and cords to dresses by Camilla & Marc, but focuses mostly on clothing that supersedes a specific occasion. As someone who has recently decided to get rid of pretty much everything I own and start over with classic, timeless pieces, this store is ground zero for my new wardrobe. The store, much like Emily herself, is seemingly impervious to short-lived trends – I feel like Kate Middleton would probably like to shop at w.port which, as anyone who knows me knows, is truly the highest of compliments. In the words of Emily: “[w.port is] classic and timeless and what you purchase here you’ll wear season after season after season…”

The store will open Monday, August 20 with a Grand Opening event on Thursday, September 13. To check out the newest wares, like w.port on Facebook and/or sign up for the mailing list on her website. Me, I’m looking forward to her happy hour Thursdays where she’ll stay open til 7 and have wine – with a sitting area like this, area restaurants will need to watch out…


w.port ~ 3232 Roswell Road ~ Atlanta 30305 ~ 203.216.8073


Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 7 Comments »

Oh. Happy Belated.

Posted by AllieB on August 9, 2012

I’m surprised someone hasn’t spoken up about this because HOW RUDE: I forgot to celebrate BBT’s birthday three weeks ago. Now I get why there’s nothing in my baby book after my first birthday – it’s just not as exciting. The second year was a little rocky; the dreaded “sophomoric slump” was something of an issue – ie the two months I didn’t write – but there were still some noteworthy moments. I do love a good pictorial retrospective:

Clockwise from top left: Tina got married; Char got married; 50 Shades of Grey happened; I made a very helpful flow chart; BBT is moving to NYC; Ryan Lochte tweeted, joined Mensa; that’s me on Perez Hilton

I haven’t been as vigilant about tracking my site analytics, but it’s always fun to see what people Goog to land on my page – searches from the last month include:

-funny chicken wings

-did the Malaysian woman go to jail for beating her baby


-a guinea pig house that’s simple to make but looks cool

-i hate obnoxious girls

-who’s right, allie or jordan (Editor’s note: I wonder who searched that?? Too funny.)

-sexy fat girls

Hmm strange. I’m not sure how I feel about those phrases queuing up BBT in search results. It’s true, though – I really do hate obnoxious girls. And if anyone knows how to construct a guinea pig house that’s simple to make but looks cool, then BY ALL MEANS let me know.

Blog of the Week: McKayla is not impressed. Ha!

Today is Thursday, by the way. It could be Tuesday, for all I know – my lack of daily structure leaves me with zero perception as to what day it is, but it does lend itself to multiple blog posts/week…I was hoping today was National {insert a tasty beverage here} Day, but all I could come up with is National Mustard Day. Boo. Let’s pretend it’s National Drink Wine Day, instead – join me, won’t you? (For the record, the next Drink Wine Day is February 18, 2013, which means there are only 193 days left to hone our skills. OMG, A, that’s the day before your birthday…what a happy/par for the course coincidence!)

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »