Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Normalcy: it’s not for everyone

Posted by AllieB on November 14, 2012

The people-watching in New York is second to no other place I’ve been, including Flora-Bama. It’s a veritable sensory overload up here. Some days I am no mood to observe or interact with my fellow citizens, and I put in my headphones and keep to myself, and other times I like to immerse myself in my surroundings and see what peeps are up to…it is during these times that I hear things I wish I could unhear and see things I wish I could unsee.

Cut to: Sunday morning in a coffee shop in the East Village.

It was a lovely Sunday morning – daylight savings was the night previous, everyone was well-rested…a perfect bluebird fall day. I was standing in line at a locally-owned coffee shop to order some tea (I prefer Earl Grey), while the rest of my party retrieved the bagels. Spirits were high – I may have even been humming, I don’t know. I’d been there for only a short while when I got bored with my own thoughts and started listening to the twosome ahead of me. It was a boy and a girl, each carrying a musical instrument case – pretty sure both were banjos – who were meeting to go play a gig. The boy, we’ll call him Boy, was wearing one of those pork-pie hats, a sweater vest, and stonewashed jeans that were so stiff and sturdy they could likely stand up on their own.

As for the girl (Girl), just picture a much frumpier, less cute, more nasal, infinitely less charming Zooey Deschanel.

These descriptions, I realize, are not very flattering, and I honestly don’t think it was until after I heard their conversation that I began to view them so negatively. I think you’ll understand why:

Girl: So I’m totally thrown off by the time change, I had no idea where I was, what time it was, or what I was doing when I woke up. It was soooooo weird. I don’t even know what’s happening right now

Boy: Oh. Yeah. I don’t DO that whole “extra hour of sleep” thing. I stayed up an extra hour later just to be sure I didn’t get any more sleep than I usually do, because I don’t believe that you can just HAVE a free extra hour of sleep, you know? That’s just not how I do things.

Girl: For sure, I get that.

Boy: Yeah. I feel perfect today. Totally the same as I did yesterday. I don’t even really need this coffee, it’s just something to do while we wait for our ride. I’m not, like, tired – I’m totally on level.

Girl: Yeah. Yeah.

Oh COME ON. I wanted to yank that stupid hat off his head and stomp on it with my mass-produced, non-vintage boots. What an a-hole. WHO DOESN’T LOVE AN EXTRA HOUR OF SLEEP!? I’d always thought that was a rhetorical question – evidently, it is not. At least my bagel was delicious. I don’t think I’ve written an NYC post without talking about bagels, and that is because they are so awesome up here. I have one/week.

 Boy in pork pie hat who hates sleep + whiny celeb wannabe Girl = the flattest of all of my faces (for all my talk about flat face, there aren’t very many pictures of it…I’m actually quite smiley. Here is one exception: this is me during last week’s big storm. There is nothing remotely resembling a smile on my face.)

Let’s get current on some events:

– go see Skyfall. It is the best Bond movie of the Brosnan/Craig era, and not just because of Daniel Craig the scenery, Daniel Craig the chase scenes, Daniel Craig the Bond Girls, and Daniel Craig, but because it’s actually a good story. BBT says: a TEN! BBT also recommends Argo; it, too, is excellent.

– the CEO of the Irish airline, RyanAir, wants to start selling standing-room only tickets on flights. This seems to me a really dumb idea – possibly the dumbest I have ever heard. BBT says: I’m not going to dignify this with a response.

– Jessica Simpson is looking better (credit: People by way of Caro) – I guess anyone is going to look good next to her fugly mess of a sister. BBT says: Woof (but keep up the good work, Yessica!)

My idea of what constitutes a current event is perhaps incorrect.

Have a happy hump day! My Wednesday got started off on the wrong foot when I somehow managed to ride two stops in the wrong direction on the subway. I had to get off, climb all the way up the stairs, cross over Park, go back down more stairs, and wait for another train. I’m so ashamed – what a rookie mistake. The good news is that once today is over it will be Thursday, and then it will be Friday.

6 Responses to “Normalcy: it’s not for everyone”

  1. Tina said

    Can’t wait to see both movies too! Glad you’re enjoying NYC. Good to know there’s good blog material up there e.g. Boy + Girl. Keep it coming!

    Miss you!!

  2. Blayne said

    I dont know. I’ve seen a lot of strange scenes at the Flora-Bama.

  3. Ivana said

    Ivana Dropkickthatguyinhisface

  4. FJ said

    DUNCE progression: Sleep thwarter > RyanAir CEO > Yessica

    Who woulda thought Yessica would be the least dunciest on BBT?!!

  5. Char said

    Have you introduced to the RyanAir CEO to the Baxter family? I’m sure we could set him straight about the perils of his plan. Or create some of our own obvi.

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