Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘yarf’

Theories: Conspiratorial & Otherwise

Posted by AllieB on July 2, 2012

Munday. The maintenance men are in my apartment right now fixing my A/C. THEY BETTER BE FIXING MY A/C THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. I was grateful to not spend the weekend here in the land-locked Hades, but in Charleston, where I spent several hours lounging in this pool (see below). We were down there in honor of Hildebeast Bel (you’re gonna wanna click thru on that link – you’re welcome in advance), and it literally could not have been a more fun weekend. There was a lot of laughing – I mean, a LOT. A rooftop pool situation overlooking a body of water in an urban setting might be my favorite thing.

The pool and the sunset. I do love a good vista!

Should you find yourself in Charleston in the near future, go to the Market Pavilion Hotel & Rooftop Bar and have a Michelob Ultra with a lemon and the Lump Crab Cake Sandwich. Beware of the security detail that comes out at around 8 PM…unless someone stashed the Hope Diamond up there, they’re probably taking themselves a little too seriously.

So, this was recently brought to my attention, and I am completely fascinated: the conspiracy theory surrounding the Denver Airport. Y’all, something is amiss here. The highly reputable and reliable site,, says the following:

 Its construction began with five mysterious buildings that were completed and then buried intact, with the cover story that they were “built wrong”. Up to 8 levels of underground facilities are said to exist, and workers who go there refuse to answer questions about what they do. The entire airport is surrounded by a barbed wire guard fence, with the barbed wire angled inward, to keep people in, like a giant prison, not out like at other airports. And if viewed from the air, the runways are revealed to be laid out in the shape of a Nazi swastika. Questions about what the government might be doing in this underground base may have been answered in 2007, when fourteen commercial aircraft reported spontaneously shattered windshields as the presumed result of electromagnetic pulses.

Aerial view of the Denver Airport. I think we can all agree what this looks like.

Indoors, the airport gets even stranger. The Illuminati appear to have detailed their plans for global genocide and a New World Order in two large murals. The first depicts a huge Nazi soldier with dead women and children scattered around him…

Mural inside the airport.

Me, I’m thinking that regardless of who or what that painting’s meant to be of, it has ZERO business on the wall of an international travel hub in the United States. WTF! Anyway, I’m 100% drinking the kool-aid that is this conspiracy – something weird’s going on over there in Denver…and if I mysteriously go missing, I think we know who to blame. Illuminati/New World Order: I’m looking at you.

Jessica Simpson tweeted this picture last week. I don’t….why….how….WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER.

50 boutiques in 50 states  by – I saw they even found one in Delaware, so that’s something.

101 Books To Read This Summer Besides ’50 Shades of Grey’ – this is a very in-depth flow chart with something for everyone. But, I will say, go ahead and knock out the 50 trilogy – you know you’re going to eventually, so you may as well go ahead and join the masses rather than be the dillhole who’s still reading it 8 months from now.

Lastly! To those who reached out in response to my last post about my relocation to NYC – THANK YOU!!! I will be pursuing you all ardently in the coming weeks, so prepare yourselves.

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Stress SOS

Posted by AllieB on September 28, 2010

I just sent a casual email to a friend mentioning what I’d had to snack on since around two this afternoon, and now I feel like a total heifer.

The list includes:

A bag of these peanuts:

Two Coke Zeros.

A half-glass of Cabernet (NOT normal behavior – we were tasting wine for our upcoming work event – Lacy can attest)

Thee Lindor truffles:

And – last but not least – a breakfast sandwich (bacon, gouda, and fritatta on an artisan roll – delish) from Starbucks.

It’s a bit excessive. I’m incredibly stressed out with various things, mostly work, and I’ve turned to food. I’ve asked other people what they do when they get stressed, and I’ve yet to achieve enlightenment. One person suggested taking a walk around the block, but I don’t really want to do that. Someone else suggested putting a lock on the refrigerator – not only did I find that somewhat offensive, but it also wouldn’t necessarily stop me as there are many other avenues thru which I can procure my snacks.

I mean, I’m obviously going to go for a run after work, which will help – according to science, exercise helps – but I’m talking more along the lines of stress relievers in medias work day. Suggestions welcome.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , | 2 Comments »