Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

  • Follow BBT

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Goodreads
    • Pinterest
    • Instagram
  • Subscribe to BBT!

  • Pinterest Pins

    Old-Fashioned Beauty

    1 Flat Iron, 5 Amazi

    Christian Louboutin

    More Pins

Posts Tagged ‘thursday’

The Year of the Snake

Posted by AllieB on January 10, 2013

Welcome to 2k13. How’s it going so far? Have you made your New Year’s resolutions and declared abstention from all things evil and pledged allegiance to kale and yoga?  I hate New Year’s ressies – that’s annoying for resolutions – so I think this year I just won’t talk about them.

Except maybe a little because I want do a some humble bragging. In the scant ten days of this year, I have secured an awesome apartment on what could possibly be the most charming block in NYC; I signed over my first born and joined Equinox (I know the year is less than two weeks old, but I feel pretty good about my consistent attendance because I simply cannot reconcile the outrageous cost unless I actually go…even if it’s just to sit in the steam room and take a shower with the Khiel’s products – that obviously still counts); I already got my yearly physical; I have scheduled a trip that includes the use of my passport; I completed my Christmas thank you notes.…y’all, I’m teeing myself up for quite a year.

Let it be said: I do not believe that the manner in which one’s year begins is at all indicative of the course it might take. My 2012 started off in the crapper and wound up being one of my very best. I’m pretty sure that, had it continued on as it started, I likely would’ve ended the year face down in a gutter somewhere, not thriving- THRIVING! – in NYC…we can all be glad things went uphill instead of down.

Puppy break!!

yaaawn

Are you yawning like ze pooches? A couple months of things going well and I’m suddenly the Dalai Lama. If you’re looking for life lessons, keep looking – or hold your horses for a few years until I write my book. Said book will be a lighthearted and breezy, yet substantial and thought-provoking, collection of essays or novel that is neither fiction nor non – it’ll be a little of both. I realize many of you might say, “duh, like a gazillion people have already written that same book”, but most of the ones already written kinda suck, and mine won’t. So, BOLO for that.

I really am excited about my apartment, and I am excited to have visitors – everyone is welcome!!! Except Hilary. There’s no room at the inn for Hilary.

hilary ew

Get away from me, you toadstool. Tybee 2008. I’m restraining myself from having an ALL CAPS panic attack about how long ago 2008 was.

In other news…

Jessica Simpson is ENORMOUS; not due until sometime in 2015

Taylor Swift is sad; sent home alone on boat

The hottest, spiciest meal in the world will make you cry, take a walk, and then hallucinate

I saw Meg Ryan at Mercer Kitchen on Saturday night – she has not aged well…I was a little frightened. I also saw Jake Gyllenhaal in Union Square on New Year’s Eve day…he is my height (5’7″) and kind of needed a shower, but he has a truly dazzling smile.

RISE UP!!!

As an act of respect and admiration, I have chosen to not discuss The Duchess’s pregnancy. I wish her and William the very best, and I, along with the rest of the planet, await with breath that is bated for the newest member of the Royal Family.  It was also Her Highness’s birthday yesterday – how strange that she and I don’t have the same birthday, us being twins and all…

I read over this, and I am uncomfortable with all the heralding I did re: my good fortune, so I will share with you some of the other things I’ve accomplished in 2013 to cut me back down to size:

1. I lost and found my purse six times on Saturday night.

2. The strap to my gym bag broke because it got stuck in my boot heel (fun-da-men-tals). This was a true act of grace on its own, but the real treat was the tumble that ensued as a result…you’re welcome fellow foot commuters on Park between 53rd and 54th.

3. I went for the hug and he went for the handshake.

Proof positive that things are as ever in the life of BBT…

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , | 11 Comments »

People I Want to Punch in the Face

Posted by AllieB on August 16, 2012

Want: unlike the rest of the free world, I enjoy physically writing down my to-do lists as opposed to keeping track of tasks electronically. My reasons are twofold: first, it’s still way more satisfying to cross things off manually then check a little box on my Wunderlist app, and, second, I am continually amazed at how horrible my handwriting is, and it entertains me to see it degenerate with each passing day. A nice bonus of the latter is that sometimes I cannot read items on my list, therefore I cannot fault myself when they do not get done. Admittedly, a con is people getting a hold of these lists…but I found these highly personalizeable agenda/to-do books online, and I must purchase:

Before/After

May Books – choose from like a zillion patterns/colors/monograms – you can even choose what’s on the inside, you can even choose a “Bump Book” wherein you can paste pictures of your sonogram. I am fine with this because maybe if you are putting your sonogram in your Bump Book, you are not putting it on Facebook. Okay, retract…..I’m going to talk about this – I really don’t want to offend anyone, so please read carefully: I enjoy seeing/tracking baby progress of people I know and love; unfortunately I have, like, 2000 friends on Facebook (humble brag!) therefore am learning a LOT more information about people I vaguely knew in 2005 than I’d really prefer. However, isn’t it my fault for not tidying up my friend list? I’m sure the girl I sold ads with at the Red and Black has lots of friends who have a vested interest in her trimesters; it just isn’t me. But instead of berating her for daring to keep her loved ones informed, maybe it is beholden to me to take action. Facebook has become a highly public information-sharing arena – few people really understand the privacy settings, and I’m guessing many don’t even realize just how much info they’re actually putting out there. If you’re that offended, quit. There, I addressed the baby/Facebook issue. May it never be mentioned again. The people bitching are becoming just as obnoxious as the people about whom they are bitching. Besides, you do realize you can choose who does/doesn’t appear in your mini-feed…if you don’t want to see the stuff, simply remove the culprit. Or block them. No, blocking is stupid – just take a second and change your filters. Truly, it’s not rocket science.

And I thought I was just talking about monogrammed to-do lists?? That kind of went awry…

Moving along! I am getting very VERY excited about my imminent move to New York. Even watching the tourists in matching, ill-fitting, way-too-tight-around-the-neck orange t-shirts go bananas in the plaza of Studio 1-A in Rockefeller Center on the Today Show gets me excited. I might even do that one day. Who knows?! As Sister has pointed out, I think I’m really going to enjoy to anonymity of NYC…just me and my horrible sense of direction wandering around the city…which reminds me, I’m definitely going to need another phone charger to carry around on my person so I am never without gps and/or enough battery life to call Sister and leave her phone messages of me sneezing. I have a really loud sneeze.

Case in point: page two of notes from my meeting earlier this week with Emily about w.port…we were planning her grand opening event.

Don’t worry, Emily, I’ve got the invites under control. Seriously, I can read this just fine – I blurred the pic on purpose…you know, for effect.

BTW – I don’t really have a list of people I want to punch in the face. That’s a bit aggressive…I keep track of that stuff right up here {slow tap to my temple topper} – as if I’d be foolish enough to write names down.

PS – speaking of the R&B, I trust y’all saw that horrific column, “How to find that perfect husband in college” – I’ll tell you who won’t be guest-blogging on BBT: that girl. Vom to tha max. I wonder if she wrote that nonsense on purpose, going so over the top as to put herself on the map…if so, kudos, especially since she’s not even that good of a writer. BURN.

Thirsty Thursdizzle!

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Oh. Happy Belated.

Posted by AllieB on August 9, 2012

I’m surprised someone hasn’t spoken up about this because HOW RUDE: I forgot to celebrate BBT’s birthday three weeks ago. Now I get why there’s nothing in my baby book after my first birthday – it’s just not as exciting. The second year was a little rocky; the dreaded “sophomoric slump” was something of an issue – ie the two months I didn’t write – but there were still some noteworthy moments. I do love a good pictorial retrospective:

Clockwise from top left: Tina got married; Char got married; 50 Shades of Grey happened; I made a very helpful flow chart; BBT is moving to NYC; Ryan Lochte tweeted, joined Mensa; that’s me on Perez Hilton

I haven’t been as vigilant about tracking my site analytics, but it’s always fun to see what people Goog to land on my page – searches from the last month include:

-funny chicken wings

-did the Malaysian woman go to jail for beating her baby

-stealing

-a guinea pig house that’s simple to make but looks cool

-i hate obnoxious girls

-who’s right, allie or jordan (Editor’s note: I wonder who searched that?? Too funny.)

-sexy fat girls

Hmm strange. I’m not sure how I feel about those phrases queuing up BBT in search results. It’s true, though – I really do hate obnoxious girls. And if anyone knows how to construct a guinea pig house that’s simple to make but looks cool, then BY ALL MEANS let me know.

Blog of the Week: McKayla is not impressed. Ha!

Today is Thursday, by the way. It could be Tuesday, for all I know – my lack of daily structure leaves me with zero perception as to what day it is, but it does lend itself to multiple blog posts/week…I was hoping today was National {insert a tasty beverage here} Day, but all I could come up with is National Mustard Day. Boo. Let’s pretend it’s National Drink Wine Day, instead – join me, won’t you? (For the record, the next Drink Wine Day is February 18, 2013, which means there are only 193 days left to hone our skills. OMG, A, that’s the day before your birthday…what a happy/par for the course coincidence!)

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie

Posted by AllieB on February 2, 2012

Australian accents are hot. I don’t care if it’s a girl or guy, if they’re cute or not so much – anyone with an Aussie twang is at least a 6 on my scale. No, a 5…but that’s not a bad place to be from the get go. I had the pleasure of chatting with two males from Oz last night, which, obviously, is what spurned this philosophical waxing today. These two gents hailed from Walla Walla (or maybe not that exactly – they were very hard to understand…Australians mumble a lot??) and happened to be twin brothers. Oh my. Twin brothers from Australia…and did I mention they were 6’2″ with curly brown hair and big green eyes?  Our interaction was short-lived, and we parted ways before I could marry one or both invite myself along on their worldwide trek, but the interaction brought back some very fond memories…. I couldn’t help but reminisce on my own six month sojourn to the Land Down Under back in 2k4.

I lived here in Coogee Beach outside of Sydney…

And hung out at places like this in the Whitsunday Islands…

I even went skydiving!

Skydiving was definitely one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. It was over the Great Barrier Reef and one of the world’s only beach landings. I saw all kinds of craziness on the way down: sharks, hundred-year-old sea turtles, my life flashing before my eyes….I watched the film a few years back. My suggestion to you re: skydiving videos is as follows: don’t do it. Trust me, being filmed by the man strapped to your back with a camera held about 6 inches away from your face whilst free falling from 14,000 feet is no one’s best look. Plus, when you’re jumping out of an airplane, you might find yourself inclined to say things you would not otherwise say…which will be captured forever on this video. I’m not sure what a good alternative would be – maybe have a third person jump at the same time and film you/the scenery from afar/a more flattering angle? Regardless, my skydiving experience is one that I will cherish forever and share with no one….and I really need to find that videotape.

One of the best things about Australia is the way they do breakfast. In theory it’s the same as the US: eggs, bacon, toast…but in practice it is ever so much more. The bacon is the kicker – over there they serve up these thick slices of juicy meat, not greasy, grainy skinny little strips like here. I understand that some people are perfectly fond of that kind of bacon – me, I love all bacon – but the Australian take on breakfast pork is just better. My bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal suddenly seems woefully inadequate…

Sooo, that rodent Punxsatawny Phil DID see his shadow therefore we can look forward to six more weeks of winter. Well, KMA, Phil – Atlanta begs to differ. I hope I didn’t just jinx us to a freak March snowstorm…knock on wood or something.

UGA had a badass signing day yesterday, and I don’t know if they’re even counting this girl, Anna Watson, who is real and not photoshopped and could obviously give a brick wall a run for its money. WTF?!

Hilary, this girl could be your triplet. It’s uncanny!

This has not been BBT’s best week. Go forth and prosper.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Chicken wings and truth bombs: because that’s what BBT does

Posted by AllieB on January 26, 2012

While I appreciate what this flowchart (I LOVE FLOWCHARTS) is trying to do, it has one fatally egregious error that I cannot get past. See if you can spot it (credit: Julia)

No? I’ll tell you. There is no mention – nary a one – of condiments. HelLO the best part about wings is the blue cheese (or ranch) dressing. Well, maybe not the best part, but a very significant perk – for me, wings are the vehicle that justifies consuming inappropriate amounts of BC dressing…and, for the record, my wing personality is Maple Chipotle Hot Wings. I totally saw that coming. This did get me excited for the Super Bowl. Often overshadowed by more popular foodie holidays, such as Thanksgiving, the Super Bowl is a great day to take advantage of one of my favorite food groups: glorified bar food. I’m not above a good mozzarella stick (Treehouse has excellent ones), but I’m all about trying a gourmet wing. Who’s organizing/cooking/hosting this year??

Thursday! Thursday is one of my favorite days of the week and also a great day for lists – like this one about stuff for which I was thankful. Today I share with you things that I know to be true… No gray (grey?) areas – just black and white truth bombs.

  • if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, talks like a duck…newsflash: it’s a duck
  • you really do have to drive 25 mph Peachtree Battle Ave – there is always a cop with a radar gun
  • change is hard…
  • doing a full minute wall sit is harder
  • if you think the rules of personal space apply to the table situation at the Peach Starbucks, well…you’d be wrong.
  • Carrie Bradshaw is a whiny narcissist
  • puppies will always make you feel better…cookie dough will, also
  • it is very validating to have double digit re-pins on Pinterest
  • age is nothing but a number…
  • I really am concerned about America’s youth – kids these days: their clothes, attitudes, everything…what a bunch of brats
  • if you think that cute, slightly older gentleman the next table over is smiling at you, well…you’d be wrong again – he’s smiling at his bratty daughter and his perfect looking wife, who are walking over to join him
  • red wine = friend. Also, foe.
  • how HOW is it still January!?
  • I’ll have what Hoda and Kathie Lee are having

Welp, that was random. Keep it real, ya heard?

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »