Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘my faves’

In a perfect world…

Posted by AllieB on July 31, 2014

In a perfect world…

- pizza = kale

- Instagram automatically blocks all uploads with the caption “not bad for a Monday” and people who – in my opinion – post too much are limited to one photo per week. May I suggest Snapchat? Snapchat is a nice, disposable way to overshare. Also, you don’t have to use hashtags… #mostofyoushouldnot

- my Seamless order always comes in 15 minutes, even when the estimated time of arrival says 45-60 minutes

- the cute guy on the subway would not be married/5’4″/have halitosis.

- I would pay $475/month for rent, which is what the students at the University of Georgia (and surrounding community colleges, let’s be honest) moving into this ‘Jersey Shore Goes to Athens’ development are paying. Is this for real?? A LAZY RIVER?!

athens ridge apartments pool

in addition to the lazy river, there is also a 20 ft outdoor tv and 25 person hot-tub. they should prob go ahead and add an on-site physician to treat all those “rashes” and have people sign release forms for the inevitable reality show

- Crimes Against Humanity would be punishable by law. No longer would we have to wait for karma to be the bitch - we could instantly dictate some sort of penalty befitting the nature of the crime. For example, when that jerk stole my cab on 18th and 8th the other night I could sentence him to a month-long inability to flag down any cabs and blackball him from Uber. That’d teach him. In a perfect world you can’t treat people like sh*t and get away with it, and your Crime Against Humanity would be promptly and properly handled. Perhaps one of those rashes going around that cesspool in Athens would make you think twice…

- dishwashers unload themselves

- much like the Red Sea parted for Moses so do the tourists on 42nd Street for me

- the girl in the Wendy’s commercial doesn’t exist. Neither do the Kardashians, Real Housewives, or LeAnn Rimes. Blake Lively isn’t allowed to speak and Channing Tatum is my boyfriend. I really don’t know what is up with my Channing Tatum crush, but it’s proving to stand the test of time/judgement of my peers.

guys, c'mon - how cute is this

guys, c’mon – how cute is this

- four-day work weeks – this could happen, y’all

- I can teleport anywhere I care to go. I could just suddenly appear in your living room or at the bday party or next to you on the beach. I would never miss anyone or anything again. SURPRISE IT’S ME ALLIE!

happy hour on a boat has the same benefits as a Flywheel class – they are equidistant from my apartment, surely their physical impact should be equal as well?

- I WOULD HAVE SO MANY PUPPIES

PUPPIES

 Summering in Montauk with all of my puppies

Dang…reality bites.

For those of you who read books, I have the following titles teed up on my Kindle – I am too lazy to add summaries, but I did add genre you are welcome:

Big Little Lies by Lianne Moriarty (chick lit)

One Plus One by Jojo Moyes (chick lit)

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed (memoir – Reese Witherspoon stars in movie coming out in Oct)

Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline (fiction)

Close Your Eyes, Hold Hands by Chris Bohjalian (fiction)

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (historical fiction – WWII)

Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt by Michael Lewis (nonfiction)

I Like You Just the Way I Am by Jenny Mollen (memoir – chick lit)

The Heist by Daniel Silva (mystery)

Lastly, I implore you to take a minute and watch this vid - it’s overwhelming to think about all that’s wrong with the world, but it’s also pretty neat to see what a difference you can make on a very small, local level. In a perfect world we would all be so considerate. I really love this - thanks, A.

The End. This weather is redonk – you should all have drinks outside on patios/rooftops this evening, as I intend to. TGIT!

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I read too much

Posted by AllieB on June 17, 2014

Sometimes, when I haven’t written in awhile and am trying to get in the swing of things, I like to make a random questionnaire and then I answer the questions. It’s like Me: As Asked & Told By Me. That said – here’s what we have today: random, fascinating facts about BBT; the World Cup is happening; I’m pretty sure O.J. is innocent; and we’re getting 250 NEW EMOJI. Welcome back.

Q: What is your favorite smell?

Mrs. Meyer’s Lavender scented anything and this candle by Prospector Co. Also, rubber cement.

Q: What are your vices?

I read too much. And that’s it – that is my only vice

Q: What do you consider to be the epitome of happiness?

This

viceroy maldives

BBT at the Viceroy Maldives in a diaper ‘kini sipping spicy margs. Not pictured: hot guy companion

Q: What’s your favorite childhood memory?

The time when my neighbors’ black lab had puppies and they let me come over every day after school and sit in the dog house for hours while little black lab puppies crawled all over me. See also: “What is Heaven like?”

Q: What is going to be the highlight of your summer?

My summer calendar does not suck. First and foremost, I am turning 31 and I’m not the least bit bummed; I’ve heard great things. Between now and Labor Day I have trips to Alys Beach, Newport (RI), Montauk, Lake Tahoe, and the pièce de résistance – FRANCE. I am not sorry.

Q: Describe yourself in five words or less? 

Contentedly restless; usually smart; wine

Q: What possession will you never throw away?

Whatever it was, I’ve probably already thrown it away.

Q: If you were to live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

I took a nifty quiz via Amy on Facebook that assigns a country based on your personality (even though technically we do not approve of these sorts of things being shared on Facebook, A does whatever she wants…and I was bored, so it was fine) and learned I belong in Brazil:

You are an adventure enthusiast who likes to party, and enjoy a wild night out. You appreciate a culture with a vivacious lifestyle. You are drawn to warm climates, and love being near the water. Sitting at home is not your style. You’d rather be doing something active or walk around the city with friends. You are fed by good conversation and have a strong personality. Your motto in life is, “Life is for living” and in Brazil you are surrounded by others who share your passion.

If only I’d known this before the World Cup…I might’ve made different arrangements.

Q: What is your Game of Thrones warrior name?

Ahh, another nifty quiz…

oh. great

oh. great

Q: If you could give advice to a large group of people, what would it be?

This question is good prep for if I ever run into Brandon from Humans of New York. My advice would be to show up. That’s half the battle – if you can get where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be there, I think you’re usually good to go. I realize that sounds fairly basic, but all of the most important life lessons are fundamentally basic – are they not? I would also remind people that if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck…well, newsflash – it’s probably a duck.

You know what they say: with age comes wisdom.

The end.

In other news…

- Watch this: John Oliver’s segment on FIFA from his show, Last Week Tonight - it aired on 6/8 but it’s still relevant. I haven’t yet watched the new HBO program in its entirety, but I fully intend to moving forward. This made me laugh outloud, and I learned some stuff, too. (It’s not short and you obviously need sound.)

- Speaking of the World Cup…USA! I BELIEVE! In addition to “watching” the live blog of each game on the WSJ, someone nicely changed the tv above my desk to ESPN so I am able to actually watch, also. You should check out the Google homepage from time to time – they update the header graphic a couple times per day and it’s weird but oddly cute. I think my workday life is somewhat different than those in, say, commercial real estate or external sales…but should you find yourself at a computer during game time there are ways to stay tuned in.

here is an angelic octopus (?) deciding who to root for, Belgium or Algeria

here’s an angelic (?) octopus trying to decide who will win today’s noon game: Belgium or Algeria

- Ok, I know this sounds a little silly, but…I’m like 90% sure OJ is innocent (of the double murder, not the subsequent robbery etc). OJ Is Innocent And I Can Prove It is an “exhaustive book” written by a P.I. who’s been investigating the murders for 18 years – he’s managed to poke some gaping holes in the prosecution’s case and lays out a very compelling argument that Jason Simpson, OJ’s son, is the guilty party. If you’re into this kind of thing, it’s worth a look – plus there are lots of pictures. Join me in a nice cup of kool-aid Business Insider: Here’s Why His Son Should Be a Suspect

- 250 NEW EMOJIS!! 

And we’re done! I can still say TGIT! because it happens to be my Thursday…sorry for the rest of you who are still on Tuesday – Tuesdays are the worst :(

L8er sk8ers

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Dear 22-Year-Old Self…

Posted by AllieB on May 29, 2014

Today’s post is not by me, but my great friend Amy whom you all know as “A.” She posted the following ruminations on Facebook this week, and, based on the obscene number of likes, it really resonated with people – I know it did with me, and I’d be remiss to not share here on BBT. Without further ado…

Sure, it’s been done – and whelp I did it too. For those who know me – you know – I write. I write for work, I write to write and hell, I write to get out of my own head. A few months ago, I overheard a girl’s convo on the plane… she had just turned 22; I had recently turned 31 (omg). Gah to be 22 again or 25 or 28 (or not!). It triggered this stream of consciousness… I found it yesterday, re-read it and re-read it again. Maybe you’ll find a nugget or two that speaks…

[edit free. don't judge typos.]

What I would tell my 22-year-old self…and sometimes have to remind my 31 year-old self.

Don’t stress the small stuff.

Be nicer

Get over yourself. You’re actually not too cool for a lot of things.

Words hurt  - and linger

You can’t actually just get away w anything.

Forgive.

Boys will hurt you, get over it. They’re not worth it.

There will be one that’s worth it; he’ll make you laugh when you want to cry. He won’t disappear when things suck. He won’t be perfect, he’ll just do everything to make you think he is. Be kind to him. Be very kind to him, but don’t smother him. Don’t let him smother you. And be patient.

Trust

Have faith

Dance when no one else is

Respect yourself, respect others no matter their ‘status’ in life.

Take advantage of every single moment w your girlfriends. Your lives will inevitably take different paths- embrace every second.

Be in the moment. Take it all in.

Don’t drink Bella Pinot or Cavit….magnums…in one sitting.

Life is too short to drink bad wine! Enjoy it.

Be smart.

Talk smart.

Walk smart.

Be witty, be clever, be funny. It’s okay if people don’t get it.

Embrace your eccentricity – there will be haters, but there will be lovers. You’re weird. Own it. The right people will join in your weirdness. The right person will fall in love w you for it – and you’ll love him.

TRAVEL – culture makes the world better – embrace it, incorporate it.

Don’t obsess over your weight or your clothes.  If you like it, makes you feel good. Do it. Just own it.

Failing is okay. It’s a must – makes for some of the best growing and excelling. So take risks – at work, at life, at love.

There is no such thing as perfection.

Attention from boys does not define how pretty or lovable you are.

Respect your parents. Listen to their advice, they actually do have a clue.

Spend more nights at home.  JOMO is better than FOMO.

Take every opportunity to go…travel…experience it. Don’t drink it into oblivion. Remember the moments.

4 inch heels in every color do actually go out of style. And hurt your back! So do tube tops.

No make up, long hair and all natural do not. Comfort is king…But do your best to look good sporting it!

Moderation is key.

Don’t skip your workout – but don’t beat yourself up if you do.

Put your phone down.

Always take pictures.

Keep some of your secrets!

Health is the ticket to a mentally and physically happy life.

There is life beyond breakups and heartache. True story.

Broken hearts make bigger stronger hearts. More enduring hearts. More compassionate hearts. More appreciative hearts.

You will be self-sufficient.

It is your job to make you happy, and never at the expense of others.

You’re gonna have to work your ass off. Period. Do things you love.

You have to try and you have to try again.

You must be open-minded and tolerant.

Never take a cheap laugh at the expense of someone else.

Relax. Hit the reset button And move on.

Vacations never get old.

Neither does red lipstick.

Or simple pleasures like fresh air Or floating in the ocean. Or driving with your windows down, or catching the sunset at the exact right moment or your favorite song when u need it most. Or the moment someone makes you smile…when your day seems bleak. Take in the little things. Don’t be too distracted and miss them.

Make out sessions get even better; Don’t trade them in for anything. But choose wisely. Save your kisses, but don’t hoard them!

Don’t use your sexuality to manipulate someone.

Be empowered to take control of it- as much as you want to give in. Hold it close.

Keep your heart open. Even after it’s been tampered with. It heals. It gets stronger. Use it, like any other muscle, or it will get weak.

Go to church.

Pray – not for what you want- for what you have in your life. Talk to God everyday, start your day w Him, and end it w Him- not just when you’re sad or feeling weak – when your strong and things are just right.

Give thanks.

Always say thank you.

Don’t tail old people on the road. Be patient. You’ll be old and slow one day too!

Never judge. Never. You have no idea what other people are dealing with. Life is water.

Smiling resting face is better than bitchy resting face.

Overcome your ego. It only holds you back and forces unwise decisions.

Learn something new everyday. Never stop learning and absorbing. Read. Write.

Keep day dreaming. studies now say you’re more creative if you let yourself!

Towel time gets better with age!

Take care of your body. Eat well. Sleep well.

Yoga is the best for the mind and body.

Find balance, set your intention.

Be in control, but be willing to let go.

Listen. Shut your mouth and just listen.

Be at peace with life. Love yourself. Love others. Wholly.

You’ll love music forever. You’re mixing the soundtrack of your life- so be free, make it good, but choose wisely…

True dat, A. Wisdom: imparted. You don’t have to agree with everything – it’d be weird if you did – but a little self-reflection never hurt anyone, ya know? Even if it’s just for a moment or two. The bad news is that we’ll never be 22 again, but the good news is…we’ll never be 22 again. With age comes wisdom…and vacations :)

I think I’ve out-EMO’ed myself. To you and yours: a very happy Thursday and weekend!

re: girlfriends and travel...check!

guest author A – AllieB – K at The Breakers last weekend. I do know that my 22-year-old self could not have planned a last minute trip to the beach with two favorites… #30yroldperks

 

 

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder…

Posted by AllieB on March 6, 2014

…or does it? Sometimes I just want what I want when I want it, and barring access to something that I want seems needlessly cruel. For this reason, I often choose not to partake in Lent – most of the time I fail and then some: I end up doing (eating) whatever it is I decided not to do (eat) even more than I did in the first place. However, now that I am in the latter part of my 31st year, I think maybe I should try adulthood on for size. Challenge: accepted.

This year I am giving up pasta & pizza. Monday thru Thursday this will be a cake walk mmm cake but come Friday, Saturday, and Sunday…well, I’m going to have to dig deep. Every weekend I have one or the other or both, and I am already concerned about what I’ll have instead. Like, seriously, what does one eat on Sunday if not the homemade Fettucini Al Sugo Toscano from Max Trattoria? I guess I’ll find out. This also means no more Pizza Friday….I did not think this through. I wish I’d given up cake.

ravioli - Lent

My Last Supper on Tuesday. I am not even kidding: this meal of Whole Foods Cheese Ravioli on a bed of sauteed spinach is the closest I’ve ever come to Stuffed Pasta Heaven. It goes without saying that I am adroit in the kitchen, particularly when it comes to boiling water, but that crack they put in the ravioli is damn good. You can find these pastas in the refrigerated pasta section at your local Whole Foods.

At least I’m not the only one who’s concerned about making it thru the Lenten season:

Hilary:  yuuuum wait did you give up pasta for lent?

me:  pasta and pizza

Hilary:  oy vey. i thought about giving up fried foods. but i can’t seem to pull the triggeri need to though

me:  it’s really only going to be a problem on the wknds when that’s pretty much all i eat

Hilary:  yeah i’m going to do it. no fried foods for 40 days

me:  there ya go

Hilary:  OMG I WISH I WAS DEAD ALREADY

You’re an inspiration to us all, Hildebeast.

I’m heading south manana!! Ahh, ATL – I have missed you…I’m excited about the following:

  • Seeing G-Force, Geoffrey, and frands. If you’re one of the lucky ones, BOLO for a huge MASH. Hilary, you can BOLO for a cold shoulder and a look of disinterest
  • Driving a car. I miss having a whip. Plus, riding in a car pretty much eradicates any chance of you sitting in a stranger’s lap
  • CHEESE DIP. If you need me, I’ll be by the queso.
  • Weather that is not this. I don’t even bother looking at the forecast anymore – I just automatically don my puffer, boots, scarf, and ear warmers before leaving the house
  • Taking long walks and cozy naps with this ANGEL MUFFIN, Sally, the lab my parents are temporarily hosting via Atlanta Lab Rescue.

SALLY

Ijustwannasqueeeeeeeezeherangelmuffinface

Look at that – me & ATL is a perfect example of absence making the heart grow fonder…guess it can go either way #themindreels

Elsewhere on the interweb:

-Buzzfeed did some good work (The 54 Best GIFs of 2012 & The 41 Most Awkward Things That Have Ever Happened)

The 54 Best Animated GIFs Of 2012

wait for it….

The 41 Most Awkward Things That Have Ever Happened

Awkward Nirvana + Charles Barkley

-Witty + Pretty told the truth about girls and their favorite fat foods in honor of Fat Tuesday.

-WHO IS THE YELLOW KING?? We find out on Sunday…

Guys, I very nearly didn’t write today (I think you can probably see why, if you’ve even made it to the end to read this), but I’ve written every single week of 2014 – can’t let this hot streak fizzle. Happy Thursday to you and yours! A, pour me out some of that hashtagwine in prep for my imminent arrival…

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I have a new hobby!

Posted by AllieB on February 13, 2014

If there is one thing I know to be true it is that idle hands and minds are the devil’s playground. Are they ever. The solution is simple: stay busy – duh. Here’s how I am keeping the devil at bay…and then just some other stuff, because there’s always other stuff.

-I have a new hobby: gambling! I bought upwards of 10 squares for the Superbowl ($50 out, $0 in – that went well), and I’m filling out my ballot now for the Oscars . Perhaps I’ll even look into that billion dollar bracket that Warren Buffet is doing…but probably not because I can’t even pretend I care about college basketball, and I can pretend to care about most things.

-I am watching the Olympics. Well, sort of – sometimes I get bored – but I’ve observed the following:

First: mogul skiing should be illegal.

mogul ski NO

Second: Bob Costas is my hero

-I am in love with Jimmy Fallon. I watched the 1.5 hour Jimmy Fallon Goodbye Special (it’s OnDemand), and I loved it. I haven’t had that much fun watching a television program in a long time. If I was a celeb, I’d tell my agent, “GET me on Jimmy Fallon and tell him I want to play Beer Pong and Catch Phrase and also do some sort of dance.” You can tell everyone is having an awesome time – Jimmy is the most genuinely entertaining and easily entertained person I have ever seen; he loves people and they love him. Will Ferrell is a frequent guest, and this is my new favorite thing: Will Ferrell and Jimmy Fallon Fight Over Tight Pants. (PLEASE WATCH!) My second favorite thing is this tumblr of all his Thank You Notes - sometimes the internet comes thru in amazing ways. I have very high hopes for our Jimmy.

thank you oatmeal

Thank you, Oatmeal, for looking like I already ate you before I eat you.

-Ah yes, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day…kewl…better get to Duane Reade and stock up on the holiday candy. If you’re in a bad place re: your Valentine’s sitchy, I encourage you to check out the post I did last year – your morale will skyrocket; my VDay’s of yore leave much to be desired. I think it also single-handedly fulfills BBT’s “personal sharing” quota for the next decade.

-I am accepting of Fashion Week this season, minus the huge stain it is on my Instagram. Also, the below was chosen as a “Best Look of the Day” by NYMag. Have they no eyes that can see?

The Row fuzzy sweater and slouchy pants

If this were shown with a bowl of popcorn and a remote instead of patent Oxfords and a briefcase, I could possibly reconsider.

-I am very much looking forward to a return trip to France in August. Is that annoying? You’re annoying. Our 2010 stay at the chateau was delightful, and I can’t wait for Round 2. I am already planning some activities, and, amongst other things, I would love to visit a vineyard, see Mont-St-Michel, and have zero women die on my airplane. (Hey, E Rock – have I told you that story?)

BBT + chateau; #wine; Mont-St-Michel; death

BBT + chateau; #wine; Mont-St-Michel; death

-Speaking of death, I am plotting the very slow and painful demise of Old Man Winter.

-I have been going to spin class on the reg,* and I like it. Well, I don’t like it – obviously I hate it – but it seems like a very efficient way to exercise if one must exercise. The downside is that, upon completing a single, 45 minute class, I say to myself, “Done!” and feel as though I have achieved my apex of physical fitness, an ass that won’t quit, and will never have to exercise again. That’s not right.

*Because BBT is not a fitness blog (say what?!) and because I am not lame, I will leave this open to interpretation. But I’m kind of proud of myself so if you’ll allow me a little humby brag, I will say that I have gone to more spin classes in the 44 days of 2014 than I did in all of 2013 and 2012 combined. And you should know that still doesn’t say much.

-Happy late/early BIRTHDAYS to Sis & A & Mims. Mucho love. Mucho.

favorite people

I just love this pic in general. Hazy pic….hazy night. xoxo

Happy Thursday, Happy Valentine’s Day, Happy…whatever! Except you southerners – y’all are really starting to piss me off with all these snow days, so I wish you no happiness. Read the previous sentence as: Thursday, Valentine’s Day, …whatever. If you don’t have power I am sorry.

P.S. I know most people reading this are dealing with crappy weather right now, but this happened on my way to work today: living near the water means more wind, it’s just science, and I was literally blinded by horizontal snow coming at me in gale force gusts on my way to the subway. As I turned the corner onto Hudson I ran smack into a woman, also blinded, and it was like something out of a movie except not. We both involuntarily reached out and grabbed one another to keep our balance, and we wound up locked in a sort of standing embrace – she was about a foot shorter than me, so I basically had her nestled in my bosom - and then, once we gained our footing, continued on in our respective directions without exchanging words besides a muffled SORRY. Now that I am safely ensconced in my office, I can kind of laugh about it…but at the time: only tears.

do you see?? real human tears.

do you see?? real human tears.

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