Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘Baxters’

Stuff No One Thinks About Except Me

Posted by AllieB on September 3, 2015

*barked while my Sweet Corn and Zucchini Pie bakes

Oh hello. How was your summer?

Mine was uneventful – I took night classes at a depressing Kaplan center in Midtown West to brush up on quadratics and other maths, and I have no tanlines to speak of, but we did hike Machu Picchu in May! Make sure that’s on your bucket list – it’s as amazing as all the pictures suggest. And, while you can do it in one day by taking a train up, it is quickly turning into an overrun tourist madhouse and we actually preferred the hiking part over the site itself – you know what they say about the journey vis a vis the destination. Should you opt for the train you will still get your scenery shots, but your experience will undoubtedly be marred by tourists. People, it turns out, are generally the worst. We did a three night hike to get there, and it was not easy, but it was awesome, and everything about the way REI organized and executed all that goes into taking a group of 9 silly Americans on a treacherous hike through the Inca Trail was amazingly well done. BBT gives it all the stars. If you would like to know more…I wrote a review on the REI website because of course I did – posted here (it’s the first one by “notahiker1”).

peru

Clockwise from top left: dancing with my new non-scary clown friend; Christmas Card 2k15; there she is – notahiker1; dawn’s filtered light over Mt Salcantay; day 5 in a row for those clothes/that hair; MP from the Sun Gate; not from the trip – that is the aforementioned Corn & Zucchini Pie, it’s delicious and there’s no pie crust or mayo so it’s basically kale

Insider Tip: if you’re packing for a camping trip in the Andes when you’ve never been on a camping trip in the Andes, it’s smart to pay special attention to what the packing list suggests. Also, when the forecast calls for freezing temps at night, it’s wise not to assume you’ll “be fine” with whatever you “tossed in” and tell those who warn against this sound reasoning that “it’s never as cold as they say it’s going to be” ALLIE BAXTER DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM LAST WINTER anyway… I was a little chilly.

Stuff No One Thinks About Except Me:

I heart Spotify. I pay $9.99/month for the premium subscription, and it’s by far my favorite music app. I signed up for the three month trial of Apple Music and did not like it one bit – it’s confusing and not user friendly and I need to cancel that before I start getting charged. Sometimes, after I’ve reached the end of the internet, I will check out my Recently Played List – both mine and other people’s; if someone has a list of 10 EDM artists, you know they had a slightly different weekend than the person who’s been tuning into Soothing Study Songs…it’s sort of a Peeping Tom of tunes. And that’s #notcreepyatall. Let’s see what mine says about me, according to me.

spotify

I feel like I just invited you to rifle through the drawers of my bedside table…whatever - judge away, GlassHouseDwellingStoneThrowers.

Should I get an Apple Watch?

Decision pending further research.

I’m doing ClassPass. 

The neat thing about ClassPass is how you can really have some fun with your fitness…did I just say “fun with fitness”? I’ve gone now to two boot camp classes at Evolve Fitness. Evolve Fitness is on the 3rd floor of a pre-school school on 52nd and 3rd, but don’t let the makeshift appearance fool you because Kenny and Norberto are not messing around. You’re there to work, and, in my case, wow people with my brute strength. Last week Kenny had us do a rigorous segment of push-ups, of which I can do zero. I tried to explain this to him, that I wasn’t being lazy but I honestly can’t do full push-ups…

Me: Kenny, I think it’s best if I start with the knees, I can’t do them the real way

Kenny: You’re new here, so I won’t yell at you, but NO. ALL THE WAY DOWN and ALL THE WAY UP

Me: What about injuries?

Kenny: You’re gonna hurt yourself doing a push-up?

Me: Kenny, I really might. I’ll do extra kettle swings!

Kenny: Let me see you try at least one. <He watched in what was first amazed then what I inferred to be disgusted silence> Go do kettle swings.

I think I lost some of his respect, but when I showed up to class a second time this week Kenny gave me a nod of recognition and nicely averted his eyes and left me alone during the push-up segments, so I assume we reached a truce to agree to disagree.

Sidebar: the whole push-up/gym teacher judgment exchange was sounding a little familiar, so I did a little past-post-perusing and….this is embarrassing – I had almost the exact same conversation with Rico, my cardio-sculpt instructor, in February 2013. How sad.

Football is BACK

Nick Chubb for Heisman!!!

This video is amazing; what a beast. How many push-ups do you think Chubbatron can do?

The End.

**Don’t get too excited – it still looks like a hot mess – but I updated my book list. Traveling this weekend? Take a look and find a book!

***I just inadvertently quoted Reading Rainbow…now THAT is sad.

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Forever we love our four-legged friends

Posted by AllieB on August 26, 2015

Every day is National Dog Day, but today is The Official National Dog Day, so I’m dragging BBT out of hibernation to acknowledge and exalt the wonder that are our four-legged friends.

It’s easy to love dogs: few things can make your heart swell like the greeting of a ferociously wagging tail, or watching their ears perk when they hear your voice or footsteps, or spotting a certain silhouette posted up at the front window as you pull in the driveway, having sensed your arrival long before any human could. But I like to take it a step further and consider the idea that dogs aren’t just reacting to your love, they’re communicating their own, singular feelings, and they love you just as much as you love them: unconditionally. Humans can love unconditionally, too, but dogs don’t lie and they don’t say things to hurt you. They will eat your favorite shoes and they will mess up your house, but that’s your fault because you didn’t put your shoes away properly, and if they hadn’t messed up your white couch, I would have (I likely still will).

Even if the human/pup dynamic isn’t that complicated – it’s probably not but I’ve never met a relationship I couldn’t overthink – and even if they can’t understand the actual words we’re saying (they can) or don’t have their own thoughts (they do), what makes dogs so special is the way they become a part of you and your home. They learn the smells and the sounds and can intuit the moods, good and bad. How many times have you been rescued from some awful conversation with a parent or partner by a silly dog moment? Saved by the pup. A dog improves quality of life on every level; the only cons to owning one are none. There are no cons.

I’m thinking about going to business school (!), and one of the pros to this very exciting yet, at times, exhausting endeavor is the thought of moving somewhere that is not NYC and getting a dog. Obviously I would not go to business school for the purpose of getting a dog – obviously – but I think it’s a pretty great perk and, if we’re being honest, the idea of my own lab mix puppy this time next year has helped keep me motivated when I was not. Times such as earlier this month when I went to take the GRE, going so far as to undergo a full body search and even sit down at my computer, then being told, “oh no, the computers are broken, you’ll have to reschedule for 6 weeks from now which will totally mess up your application timeline and cause you great panic.” YOU HAD ONE JOB, EDUCATIONAL TESTING SERVICE – ONE JOB.

Many of you remember our beloved dog, Missy Baxter. She will forever be the gold standard of The Worst and Best Dog there ever was. The breeder let us take her home a week early so we could have her for Christmas, and it turns out the difference of a week, when you’ve only been alive for five, is crucial in terms of learning basic dog instincts. As a result, Missy identified more with people than other canines – she never had any dog friends – and I think this was a significant factor in her lousy behavior (and she was a spoiled brat – but that’s on us). Her innate humanness also granted her an uncanny way of talking to us; she was a far more effective and articulate communicator than many males people I know. Eating food that was not hers to eat was her most common offense – I linked to it above, but see below for an excerpt:

I believe Missy had opposable thumbs that she employed only in our absence. I once interrupted her enjoying a large, Costco-sized container of almonds. Said container had not yet been opened – of this I would swear on my life – but she somehow managed to turn the lid and break thru the aluminum seal. On this occasion she proudly showed off what she’d done: “Bet you’re wondering how I managed this, aren’t ya?!” with a saucy wag of tail and toss of head. I’m still wondering.

when she was a teeny puppy she tried to drag up the newspaper, and she did it every day after that for the rest of her life

she did this every single day.

Her only defeat was the 5lb wheel of Stilton blue cheese relatives send us every year from Willams Sonoma. I stupidly left it out, and Missy helped herself. I came home to a very queasy pup and 3/4 of a ravaged, smelly cheese wheel. She looked at me, not guiltily but almost accusingly: “Why did you leave this out when you knew YOU KNEW I would get into it…I hate you, I hate that cheese, and now I’m gonna puke” and then she puked. Missy loved cheese, but I don’t think it loved her back.

when she was older, Missy underwent various treatments for her joints; this was her day at laser therapy

she’s wearing doggles

RIP Missy. We don’t have a permanent family dog right now, but we’ve had lots of fosters! Through Atlanta Lab Rescue, my parents have fostered almost 20 (??) dogs since Missy passed away two years ago, and all of them have been sent off to happy forever homes. We can’t help but compare every single to one to The Best and Worst Dog we’ve ever known.

I’m not sure what moved me to break a 4 month hiatus with this non-newsworthy post – besides the fact that it actually is National Dog Day, check your Insta – but just as these posts can’t be forced, nor can they be stopped. Give all of your dogs an extra hug for me today, and sorry in advance to anyone I see today accompanied by their pup because I’m coming in for the embrace (with your dog, not you)(and I won’t touch until I ask for permission because you always ask if you can pet someone’s dog)(I learned that the hard way). I’ll try to not be a stranger, I’ve missed this; I’ve missed US!

And now, some of my favorite dog things on the internets:

A video tribute to Denali – this went viral earlier in the summer. If you were all, “No I can’t watch, I’ll cry” watch it anyway, you pansy

Bay Breeze Labradors on Insta – I don’t follow them because my favorite thing is to lie in bed and enjoy a whole backlog of videos and laugh (warning – there are some recent posts with newborn puppies that are not quite as adorable as toddler puppies, but I trust you’ll use your eyesight to determine what you do and don’t watch).

Man finds unlikely soulmate in his new puppy – this is cute and will take some of the edge off that first link

Her left ear was a little floppy. She was perfect in her imperfections.

Her left ear was a little floppy. She was perfect in her imperfections.

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Today is Picture Day!

Posted by AllieB on April 23, 2015

Picture Day at school was my least favorite day. My forced smile looks exactly that – forced – and 9 out of 10 times I would forget and show up with my hair in a veritable rat’s nest, or happen to wear my 1991 Atlanta Braves National League Champs tshirt (Adult Large) with sweatpants. At least you couldn’t see the sweatpants?*

But here on BBT picture day does not suck because the smiles are (hopefully) not forced, and sweatpants are actually in style right now. Besides, sometimes I feel like y’all don’t read my carefully crafted comments, so perhaps this format will be more appealing.

~ Google offered a “what animal are you” quiz yesterday in honor of Earth Day. I must say, I did not see this coming:

what animal are you

 but who am I to argue with the Goog? #dismember

~ VISTAS!

vista

On the Left: last night in my ‘hood, post-storm. There’s something for everyone at Pier 25! #golf #snacks #theapocalypse

And ze Right: I went off-campus for a hike on Saturday w MelBoo & CDMcD – it was a great success in that the weather was lovely and there were lots of “money shot” views, less so in that we got completely lost and actually did 2 hikes instead of one. As we hit mile 7 of our 3 mile hike, I began to wonder who might play me in the movie…

~ Speaking of hikes, the Baxter Fam is hiking Machu Picchu in Peru next month. We were told that some training is advised, so I’ve been doing lots of Flywheel and sometimes I take the stairs to my 9th floor apartment carrying two bottles of wine. I thought I was good to go until the aforementioned hike last Saturday, when I realized – not so much. Always reasonable, I tried to blame the higher altitude for my shortness of breath (1,380 ft) but then I checked and The Inca Trail we trek to Machu Picchu reaches almost 14,000 ft in some places…so. Crap.

machu picchu

I think it’ll be worth it tho – BOLO for 1,348,986 vista pics

*case in point: Picture Day was the worst.

picture day

Second grade: I think my parents did this on purpose, like for their own entertainment. And it occurs to me that is genius and I’m 1000% doing that with my own kids

Third grade: I may have peaked in third grade

Fourth grade: no.

Turns out I already did a Picture Day post - two years ago, same title and everything. +2 points for consistency.

Friendly reminder: only 7 more days to celebrate National Grilled Cheese Month. TGIT!!

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That Went Well: A Year in Review

Posted by AllieB on December 18, 2014

When it comes to making personal goals, it’s important to be realistic. I reread the post I wrote back in January that listed out what I hoped to achieve in 2014, and, I must say: I did quite well for myself. There’s that quote on Pinterest, “Shoot for Moon. Even if you miss, you’ll still be among the stars” but I prefer a more grounded and less astronomical approach, and I think we can all agree this strategy made for a pretty impressive year-end review:

1. Use my passport: Oui, je suis allé à France! (thank you Mom and Dad)

2. Be physically active for 30 mins each day: maybe not each day…most days though, for sure. The original post also mentioned “leaving apartment every day” as a goal, and overall I am pleased with my performance. Leaving the apartment on Sundays is not as easy as it sounds.

3. I was a non-presence on the Buzzfeed post “The 30 Dumbest Things Drunk Women Have Ever Done” and I’m wondering where my trophy is?

4. Read less. I did not read less. Some might argue that this is not actually a bad thing, so I will still count the loss as a win. And, while I did not publish anything outside of BBT, I DID work up a portfolio of best works and it’s almost ready to send out…almost. Honestly, I’m getting sick of reading people writing articles that I could have done – like this girl who lived according to the Pinterest Popular Page. I think she did a great job – she’s not annoying and it’s actually a font of useful information (an at-home gel mani that really works!) – but…I wanna do stuff like that. Credit: KReav.

5. Sign up for zero marathons. Well….full disclosure: I did sign up for the New York Marathon but at the behest of my sister Charlotte, and she ran it as me. This will also be filed as a W because now when I Goog myself you Goog me it looks like I not only ran a marathon, but that I hauled ass.

6269, Allie Baxter, New York, 03:38:14.

And I’d be remiss to leave this off my list of triumphs:

6. I unlocked the highest, most premium level of membership at Sephora: VIB Rouge. There was a parade and everything

I plan to ride this wave of success right into 2015.

In other BBT related news, my most read post of the year also happens to be one of my personal faves and is full of legitimately useful information: How to Lose Friends & Alienate People. Another one of my favorite things on BBT this year: this visual aid that I made on Excel using a false set of data to generate a line graph and some clip art (I don’t think enough people read the original post on which it was first featured, and I don’t want anyone to miss out):

my-will-to-live-2_Page_1

I can’t wait to see how this year stacks up :|

So, that went well… I hope you all have similarly positive feelings towards your 2014s.

The most newsworthy news of the week, maybe of month, even possibly of  year: Instagram added five new filters…! This is the first filtration addition since 2012, so it’s a big. freaking. deal. Here they are as shown by me:

new instagram filters

Clockwise from left: Slumber; Crema; Ludwig; Aden; Perpetua. Another tweak is that you can arrange your filters in the order of which you like/use them, so adios Hefe. Q of the D: what would you name an Instagram filter? For some reason “Lush” was the first word that popped into my head, and I can’t get past it. Lush as in lush fabric not lush like “have another cocktail, you lush.” Lush.

I’ve had a hard time getting amped up for the holidaze. I haven’t done any of my own Christmas shopping, and we’re not having our Annual Fireball and Pigs in Blankets Gala…Santa who? When I realized I’ll be back in ATL in just a few days, I was like, wait a minute - that’s only a few days to take advantage of NYC at Christmas, and when I get back it will be January…and you know who’s born in January: the devil.^

^This is according to my line graph, shown above. Will you just look at the damn thing already thank you.

So, I got my sh*t together, and now I’m feeling festive AF. On Tuesday, thanks to ole FlemWad’s planning, we wrapped gifts for children for the USPS Operation Santa project. Bringing joy to others is a great way to get into the holiday spirit. I had to run an errand uptown on Wednesday, so I took a detour down Fifth Avenue to take in the windows of Bergdorf’s, the bling on Tiffany & Co., and the tree at 30 Rock – nothing says Merry Christmas like nudging tourists into oncoming traffic. I have holiday-related activities every night up here before I go, and when I get home to ATL I’m going directly to the light display at the Atlanta Botanical Garden (seriously, do y’all just want to pick me up at the Arts Center Marta station and we can go straight there? LMK)…I might be tardy to this party, but I’m coming in h-o-t.

NYC Christmas

 The pic on the top right is a window at Bergdorf’s. Not sure it really gets my or their point across, but I like all the pretty colors. Merry Christmas from the freaky mannequin.

And now for a demonstration of my signature move: the Irish Goodbye. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOURS!!! xo

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Great for Halloween or Just Fashion

Posted by AllieB on October 29, 2014

Halloween, for me, is meh. With the exception of Wine Gal (she is my superhero alter-ego and she will CUT you with her corkscrew while sipping on a mini-bottle of Cab in order to save a glass a bottle a case of wine), I do not have the best track record of costuming, and 75% of the time I lose interest in assembling the ‘stume before it comes to fruition. When I was a sophomore in college I had a denim jumpsuit that was all the assemblage I needed for an entire year of socials and holidays – redneck social, Halloween, disco - but I stupidly threw it away. I’m still mad at myself: do they even sell J.Lo brand jumpsuits anymore? I only buy denim jumpsuits by J.Lo. I’ll check eBay. (Update: no luck on eBay.)

But what is meh for me is probably awesome for you, and I’m okay with that – we all have our strengths, and I genuinely respect and delight in other people’s talents. One of my favorite things is seeing what ole FJ comes up with for her Halloween look. I’ve shared this at least thrice on BBT and should probably make it the backdrop of my phone given how often I show it to people, but here she is as the Werewolf of London:

The Donk as Werewolf of London. I am terrified yet fascinated

Halloween 2012. Young children cried.

So, instead of stressing about thinking of and creating a costume, I instead found my inner Boppy & Basic BBT – it was a Tuesday, I don’t go to clubs on Tuesdays – and the result, I think we can all agree, was favorable: Melt in Your Mouth Pumpkin Cookies. I made these from scratch using only organic ingredients, sporting Uggs and an apron that said, “Kiss the Cook!” while listening to the new Taylor Swift album on my pink Jambox. I posted a selfie with a dot of flour on my cheek and captioned it, “missed a spot! #pumpkinspiceandeverythingnice #yummy #mycoworkersloveme” Then my roommates and I got in a flour fight and I posted another pic: “Flour Fight!!! #LOL #lovethesegirls #youwishyouhadthismuchfun”

melt in your mouth pumpkin cookies

Even though I accidentally halved the called-for amount of butter (the recipe said FOUR sticks of butter I am not Paula Deen) they are still awesome – perhaps more muffin-like than intended, but I think I’d rather have functioning arteries, ya know? And I obviously used only organic ingredients, but besides that #sensethetone

If you still need costume ideas, here: 32 ‘Sexy’ Halloween Costumes That Make No Sense (‘sexy’ corn and ‘sexy’ body bag are especially…’sexy’), or for those living in ATL - hit up this guy.

mens large 42 reg black trench coat great for halloween costume – $20

image 1

“long black coat great for Halloween or just fashion”

^^ I have been laughing at that ad since Monday (credit: A Social Mess)

 In other news…

-UPenn is offering a class for actual course credit entitled “Wasting Time on the Internet.” A few thoughts: 1. really. 2. do they need a guest speaker 3. as a parent I would be displeased 4. is there a Masters program? 5. I shoulda went to an Ivy League school

**note: I wrote that blurb on Tuesday, and The Skimm mentioned it Wednesday morning, so now I feel cheated. But I’m keeping it in anyway bc who’s to say their description is any better than mine?:

Speaking of things that can make your head spin, the University of Pennsylvania has created a new course called “Wasting Time on the Internet,” where students will be required to do just that.

See? It’s just different. But if y’all are hiring…holla

-Dang, this city…. credit: K

NYC from above

THEY FOUND AMELIA EARHART?! <crosses off #6 on List of Things To Do>

-the Fireball/Anti-Freeze scare is just in Europe, chill. We’ll still be having our Fireball Christmas Party in December.

best dog in the world??  Probably: Bandit takes under 30 seconds to fetch his human a beer – and he even makes the fridge door is properly shut. If I had a dog I’d get to work on this trick immediately.

-CharBaxMaines is running her TWENTIETH marathon this weekend – she’s coming in town for the NYC race and I will doggedly go to two of the five boroughs to cheer her on. Cheering people on as they run 26.2 miles is really quite tiring. #sisteroftheyear

Happy Hump Day & Halloween! Love, Wine Gal

 Not the best pic: you can barely see WG’s fanny pack – tho that is a nice shot of the cape, but in all the other photos, well…her strength (wine) had become her weakness (too much wine).

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