Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘DAWGS’

Stuff No One Thinks About Except Me

Posted by AllieB on September 3, 2015

*barked while my Sweet Corn and Zucchini Pie bakes

Oh hello. How was your summer?

Mine was uneventful – I took night classes at a depressing Kaplan center in Midtown West to brush up on quadratics and other maths, and I have no tanlines to speak of, but we did hike Machu Picchu in May! Make sure that’s on your bucket list – it’s as amazing as all the pictures suggest. And, while you can do it in one day by taking a train up, it is quickly turning into an overrun tourist madhouse and we actually preferred the hiking part over the site itself – you know what they say about the journey vis a vis the destination. Should you opt for the train you will still get your scenery shots, but your experience will undoubtedly be marred by tourists. People, it turns out, are generally the worst. We did a three night hike to get there, and it was not easy, but it was awesome, and everything about the way REI organized and executed all that goes into taking a group of 9 silly Americans on a treacherous hike through the Inca Trail was amazingly well done. BBT gives it all the stars. If you would like to know more…I wrote a review on the REI website because of course I did – posted here (it’s the first one by “notahiker1”).

peru

Clockwise from top left: dancing with my new non-scary clown friend; Christmas Card 2k15; there she is – notahiker1; dawn’s filtered light over Mt Salcantay; day 5 in a row for those clothes/that hair; MP from the Sun Gate; not from the trip – that is the aforementioned Corn & Zucchini Pie, it’s delicious and there’s no pie crust or mayo so it’s basically kale

Insider Tip: if you’re packing for a camping trip in the Andes when you’ve never been on a camping trip in the Andes, it’s smart to pay special attention to what the packing list suggests. Also, when the forecast calls for freezing temps at night, it’s wise not to assume you’ll “be fine” with whatever you “tossed in” and tell those who warn against this sound reasoning that “it’s never as cold as they say it’s going to be” ALLIE BAXTER DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM LAST WINTER anyway… I was a little chilly.

Stuff No One Thinks About Except Me:

I heart Spotify. I pay $9.99/month for the premium subscription, and it’s by far my favorite music app. I signed up for the three month trial of Apple Music and did not like it one bit – it’s confusing and not user friendly and I need to cancel that before I start getting charged. Sometimes, after I’ve reached the end of the internet, I will check out my Recently Played List – both mine and other people’s; if someone has a list of 10 EDM artists, you know they had a slightly different weekend than the person who’s been tuning into Soothing Study Songs…it’s sort of a Peeping Tom of tunes. And that’s #notcreepyatall. Let’s see what mine says about me, according to me.

spotify

I feel like I just invited you to rifle through the drawers of my bedside table…whatever – judge away, GlassHouseDwellingStoneThrowers.

Should I get an Apple Watch?

Decision pending further research.

I’m doing ClassPass

The neat thing about ClassPass is how you can really have some fun with your fitness…did I just say “fun with fitness”? I’ve gone now to two boot camp classes at Evolve Fitness. Evolve Fitness is on the 3rd floor of a pre-school school on 52nd and 3rd, but don’t let the makeshift appearance fool you because Kenny and Norberto are not messing around. You’re there to work, and, in my case, wow people with my brute strength. Last week Kenny had us do a rigorous segment of push-ups, of which I can do zero. I tried to explain this to him, that I wasn’t being lazy but I honestly can’t do full push-ups…

Me: Kenny, I think it’s best if I start with the knees, I can’t do them the real way

Kenny: You’re new here, so I won’t yell at you, but NO. ALL THE WAY DOWN and ALL THE WAY UP

Me: What about injuries?

Kenny: You’re gonna hurt yourself doing a push-up?

Me: Kenny, I really might. I’ll do extra kettle swings!

Kenny: Let me see you try at least one. <He watched in what was first amazed then what I inferred to be disgusted silence> Go do kettle swings.

I think I lost some of his respect, but when I showed up to class a second time this week Kenny gave me a nod of recognition and nicely averted his eyes and left me alone during the push-up segments, so I assume we reached a truce to agree to disagree.

Sidebar: the whole push-up/gym teacher judgment exchange was sounding a little familiar, so I did a little past-post-perusing and….this is embarrassing – I had almost the exact same conversation with Rico, my cardio-sculpt instructor, in February 2013. How sad.

Football is BACK

Nick Chubb for Heisman!!!

This video is amazing; what a beast. How many push-ups do you think Chubbatron can do?

The End.

**Don’t get too excited – it still looks like a hot mess – but I updated my book list. Traveling this weekend? Take a look and find a book!

***I just inadvertently quoted Reading Rainbow…now THAT is sad.

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10 Things About Fall & Other Stuff

Posted by AllieB on October 9, 2014

It’s fall, y’all! Fall, according to the Goog, is the most popular of all the seasons, so here are 10 things about fall and other stuff, then I added two more items at the end so I guess 12 things total. I try to mix it up; BBT is NOT some basic fall-loving betch who only talks about new sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes.

1. This is me not talking about pumpkin spice lattes – never had one; I don’t care; you do you but maybe consider the sugar content

2. TV is not only back, but there are a lot of new shows to check out: How to Get Away with Murder premiered two weeks ago, and, besides its annoying name (HTGAWM henceforth), BBT highly recommends. Marry Me has such potential (Penny from Happy Endings! Ron from Party Down!) and, I’m embarrassed to say this, Selfie might not suck… Homeland wrapped up some very tired story lines (smell ya later Brody) and the season premiere shows much promise for good TV – just so long as Carrie never touches her child, or anyone else’s, ever again. Lastly, I watched the first episode of The Affair last night – I am IN. It caught my eye earlier this year when I heard about the cast (Pacey Witter! Maura Tierney! Jimmy McNulty from the Wire!) and, based on the first epi, it is everything I hoped it would be.

3. I got stung – stung bad – by a bee in Idaho last weekend. I hope it died.

sun valley

Idaho – who knew? (I know other people knew, but I didn’t) CONGRATS Nandi & Duncan!

4. 31 Dog Reactions for Everyday Situations – this is perfect, please click thru (#’s 1, 2, 9, 12, 14, 16 – 25, 31)

5. I’m not implying that all kids raised in NYC are brats, but I have observed a heightened level of the ridiculous when it comes to parenting up here. Case in point: I was recently at my local Whole Foods doing my daily shopping of only things I needed right that moment (nothing if not practical!), and I noticed a father and his two children, a boy and a girl both under age of 4, in the midst of truly epic meltdown. The girl, the younger of the two, had collapsed on the ground and was crying that especially aggressive silent cry where her mouth was open and her body was heaving but no sound was coming out. Not to be overlooked, the boy had wrapped himself around his father’s leg while he cried a more subdued whimper but with double the snot and tears. Dad, to his credit, wasn’t freaking out but I think this is likely because he’d checked out entirely to his mental happy place. “Woof” I thought, as I skirted by them to get in line, “I wonder how much longer he’s going to let this go on..” I also may have thought things like, “get your sh*t together little girl” and “can someone please wipe this kid’s nose”

Finally, something yanked Dad back to reality – maybe it was that his daughter hadn’t taken a proper breath in like a minute – and suddenly he was totally, 100% over it. His eyes darkened as he inhaled deeply….”PENELOPE! ALVIN! THAT. IS. IT! When we get home….NO soy dream for you.”

Aaaaand you lost me. Hey, buddy, FYI: the moment you named your kids Pompous and Arrogant you gave them license to behave like jerks. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that one or both had some sort of dairy allergy, explaining why soy dream was the most glorious treat in which they’re allowed to indulge thus the absolute worst thing he could take away…but with names like that, it’s hard. My advice? Sign the girl up for soccer, the boy up for football, and cancel all lessons involving wind and string instruments. There’s still hope.

*Note: when I have kids one day and name them Philomena and Astrid and they go mental at the grocery store you can remind me of this post.

**Y’all know I’d never name my kids that.

***Confession: I played the Alto Sax in third grade. It was a risky move but I pulled it off. Penelope – not so much.

****I don’t know anyone named Penelope or Alvin, do I?

6. Jimmy Fallon + EW! = watch this.

7. My Father, The Hero (?)

Just kidding. Dude, that's too much...and when this pot calls you black, you better recognize

Dude, that’s too much…and when this pot calls you black, you better recognize

8. All the hilar Insta accounts you need to follow, give or take a couple – there’s really something for everyone. You should check out that blog regardless, @AshHess is doing good stuff over there. Thank you, Witty & Pretty!

9. Brush up on history with a healthy side of scandal and intrigue with After Camelot, a sweeping biography of the whole Kennedy family – there are lot of them, so it’s long, but you can breeze right through it.

10. This week in That Is Brand New Information: Todd Gurley is a Badass

Georgia running back Todd Gurley completes 50-yard pass (GIF)

I could watch these all day.

Here's the GIF of Georgia's Todd Gurley running like Marshawn Lynch against Clemson.  -- (Via @SBNation)

***UPDATE 10/10: I posted this yesterday before the TRAGIC news that TGII had been suspended. Why God. Why. I am 100% #teamtodd and still think he’s one of the good ones – he’ll get thru this and go on to have an amazing career and keep a clean record all the while, of that I am sure, and in the meantime us Georgia fans will have to hunker down and deal with the hard knocks that we should by now be used to/expect. TEAM TODD!!!

Bonus #11: I needed a crisp white button down to go with my outfit yesterday, but I couldn’t find the iron because we don’t own one, so I used my straightener instead – it totally worked! A tip from me to you: best to remove the shirt then iron as opposed to keeping on shirt whilst wielding a piping hot wand of heat near your skin.

Super Bonus #12: I think we already knew as much, but I asked Siri the other night who’s the fairest of them all, and…well:

fairest one of all

And there you are – a BBT for your Thursday. Boom.

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Back to School

Posted by AllieB on September 4, 2014

It happened; it’s over. Summer’s done, and Fall is here. Fall means football – yay! #Gurley4Heisman; Fashion Week – booooo #neveragain; and, at least in NYC, the hottest weather we’ve had all year. Mother Nature, you’re doing it wrong. I was thinking the other day how much I used to love going back to school: finding out your teachers, what boys were in your classes, shopping for school supplies…I wish there was a working world equivalent; I bought a new Moleskine diary yesterday in an effort to reclaim some of the thrill, but Five Star 5-section spiral notebook it is not. Adulthood is the worst.

However, BBT was total weak sauce over the summer, so I can pretend like now I’m back in “school” and my “homework” is to post consistently. Preemptive disclaimer: I was not a straight-A student.

And now watch me exhaust this already tired metaphor:

Home Ec: I had a hunch that Chef Allie existed, and the proof is in the pudding: I’m legit. I finally learned how to chop opinions without going blind (pro tip (or tip I would’ve learned in Home Ec if it had been an option – silly feminists): put them in the fridge til cold, THEN cut – the cold counteracts the tear-causing enzyme or something I don’t know but it works) and now I can properly adhere to recipes because onions, it turns out, are in everything and skipping them can definitely affect the integrity of your final product. And god forbid you affect the integrity of your final product.

In the past week I’ve made Spicy Black Bean Stuffed Peppers (thanks, Pinterest) and Cilantro-Lime Grilled Chicken with Strawberry-Jalapeno Salsa (DomesticateMe is one of my favorites – even before I started cooking her recipes). See links + pics below…you almost can’t tell which is professional and which is mine, except for you totally can – sorry I don’t shoot my meals with a CanonMegaHugeProfesh Camera:

Spicy Black Bean Stuffed Peppers

spicy black bean stuffed peppers

I took the liberty of replacing corn with some avocado and adding more cheese (duh)

Cilantro-Lime Grilled Chicken with Strawberry-Jalapeno Salsa

cilantro-lime chicken with strawberry-jalapeno salsa

I grilled the chicken in my iron grill pan, and thanks to the marinade it was juicy and moist and all of those words that are good re: grilled meats but horrible in every other sense.

English: I am writing every day. I bought a paperback copy of On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King which has anecdotes and exercises and all sorts of things that will poof! make me a published author.

Free Period: I finally installed our Amazon Fire TV this week (credit: CharBaxMaines). The talking remote works incredibly well and now we are ready for the Polar Vortex which will be here from September – April. Joy.

hilary as abominable snowman

PSA: this is Hilary on a good day the abominable snowman, mascot of the Polar Vortex. Beware of the Beast.

I know things are going south when I start throwing the abominable snowman Hilary under the bus – we’re done! And I promise not to post anymore pictures of food I’ve cooked for a full month. But if you want to like message me about what’s coming up next in BBT’s Kitchen, by all means – feel free.

TGIT!

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What Not To Do (Part Deux)

Posted by AllieB on August 27, 2014

From the beginning, BBT has been a platform for sharing my own experiences so you can see what not to do. I spell it out very clearly in the site tagline: do as I say, never as I do and then reiterate it over and over again, from questionable grocery store practices (wrote this in August 2010…so interesting to see how habits don’t change) to sitting on a stranger’s lap in the subway. Another truth about BBT: I like to travel. Today these facts go hand in hand: I will relay some things I’ve learned from my adventures, and I expect all of you, in turn, will learn to take a hard pass should I ask you to go on a trip.

Packing: those Girl Scouts are on to something

Always be prepared! Check the weather and bring the right shoes. Captain Obvious gets very frustrated when people do not do these things. Also, know yourself. For instance: packing eight hardcover books for a trip to France might sound dumb, but I know that when I don’t have an activity I can be a less than ideal companion, so I did what I had to do. Was carrying around 12 lbs of books fun? No. Did the blissful sound of my silence enhance the quality of everyone else’s trip? Yes. Whatever it is – maybe you like a specific food item for breakfast, or you literally die without your straightener – for the L of G just pack it.

Airplanes: ugh

WHERE DO I BEGIN.

When I was 23 I lived in Thailand for a few months, “volunteering” in Bangkok and traveling around on the weekends. I went by myself, and when I look back I can’t quite recall the whole decision-making process that led me to Southeast Asia for 3 months solo, but it was awesome – save for getting there…

I found myself in row 77 (this is not in the front of the plane), seat E (middle seat in the middle section of 5 chairs), for the 18 hour flight to Seoul, Korea. If you are ever assigned seat 77E GET OFF THE PLANE. I was between two males that’s what she said: the gentleman to my left took a handful of horse tranquilizers before takeoff and slept on my shoulder for 12 hours, and the young man on my right lip-read his pocket Bible with such ferocity and intensity he ripped out pages. Another fun fact about row 77: it was up against a wall, which, on this particular aircraft, meant our seats could not recline.

I was in a middle seat in the full upright and locked position for 18 HOURS while one guy drooled on me and the other underwent what may have been an exorcism…it’s weird, I know it happened and that I was there, but I have definitely blocked out the firsthand feelings and sensations of the entire flight. I assume this is how memories of childbirth are also handled.

tuk tuk in BKK - um ok - sunset at Railay Beach - vino on Phi Phi Island (not pictured: my new friend  whose name I can't remember so I cut her out)

from top left: tuk tuk in BKK – um ok? – sunset at Railay Beach – vino on Phi Phi Island (not pictured: my new friend whose name I can’t remember so I cut her out)

In 2010 a woman died on my airplane in the aisle next to me. You know this story. It sucked.

My luggage and I took different flights to Africa last summer. It took 7 days to find me. I had to borrow my mother’s underroos.

I could go on, but I won’t.

Wallets: necessary

I left mine on the airplane (stupid airplanes!) in June when I flew to ATL – it was a full 12 hours before I realized it, and by that time we were already en route to the beach…and it was my 31st birthday. Nothing says “I have my sh*t together” like leaving a wallet on the airplane because you got it out to buy wine and couldn’t be bothered to put it back in your bag correctly. Who doesn’t love a birthday brat with no financial resources?? Happy Birthday :|

And I swear I didn’t do it on purpose…

In summary: bring a rain coat; don’t fly on the same plane as me; download Venmo so idiots who “lost their wallet” can ante up right away. You’re welcome.

Moving along…there’s a lot going on the world today that’s messed up and scary, but I fear some things are going unnoticed because of, you know, ISIS. Not to trivialize ISIS, for they are terrifying, but I am nevertheless very concerned about the following:

1. AlliCleveWolf brought this to my attention.

scary creeper

No. A million times – no. And several more “no’s” for the description. Plus one more NO for good measure. I’m not linking to it, so if you’re a sicko like the guy who wrote about the “lifelike, sparkling eyes” and want to purchase Scary Peeper – you’re on your own with the Goog. And you’ll probably end up on your own in general if you put this in your house.

2. You can buy a “knee-defender” which prevents the person in front of you on an airplane from putting their seat back. I learned about this in the Skimm. (Speaking of – do you get the Skimm? You should: it is a daily email that provides a succinct, readable round-up of current events. Go here to sign up.) They had to land the plane (airplanes are the root of all evil!) because two people got in a huge fight when a woman discovered the man behind her had deployed his knee-defender and she couldn’t recline her chair. Listen, I would go batsh*t bonkers if someone put a knee-defender on my seat. After that 18 hour flight stuck in the upright position…….no. The knee-defender should be illegal – I won’t be linking to that product, either.

3. Last and most upsetting of all: I really like Taylor Swift’s new song and video. I fear the end is nigh.

Alright – peace; have a wonderful long weekend (today is my Thursday suckas); GOOOOOOOOOOOO DAWGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <– you better watch this.

@Hilary @SisEWard @Norah

@Hilary @SisEWard @Norah

 

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You might be a Redneck if…

Posted by AllieB on November 21, 2013

Happy Thursday/Hunger Games!!

It’s that weird time of year when I’m definitely excited for the holidays, but the onslaught of decor and commercials and the fact that Thanksgiving hasn’t happened yet is kind of throwing me. At least it was until earlier this morning, when I figured out what my Redneck Elf Name is, and now I’m totally pumped for December Bender the Holidays. My game face: it is on.

XMAS

Hey, y’all! I’m Trixie, the gingerbread deerhunter!

I’ve never wished my last name began with a Q, but I would’ve been real pleased if my redneck name was Cletus. I don’t know why I’m so entertained by this – I guess there’s nothing like a naughty dope dealer named Bubba to get your head right about the Holidaze. (Credit: Kitty Decks)

Another thing that thwarted my acceptance of the imminent Yuletide Season was my trip to LA last week, Santa Monica specifically. I really like it out there – as I said after my last visit in June, while Los Angeles reminds me of outer space (and I HATE outer space), Santa Monica is delightful. It’s beautiful, it was 86 degrees, you’ve got mountains and beach….but it’s empty! Maybe I’m just used to having full body contact with 2-3 strangers on the subway each morning, but it was almost eerie how few people were out and about. Anyway, good trip, The Fairmont is a lovely place to stay, and I managed to snap this one evening leaving the office. No filtration, as ever, but does it not look like a fake movie set or similar?? I know, it totes does.

santa mon sunset

Sorry I’m not sorry if you don’t like vista pictures as much as I do.

I’ve had few blog-worthy anecdotes in my personal life of late – this isn’t a bad thing, as my anecdotal instances tend to include a lot of me being an idiot – but, as a result, I feel as though I am ‘connecting’ less with BBT. I shall persevere and instead of telling about my horrible flight on Friday (and it was AWFUL), I will instead give you lots of external links to peruse.

1. As devastating as Saturday’s loss was for the Dawgs and the Dawgnation, at least we’ve got this going for us…? According to Business Week’s list, WORK HARD, PLAY HARD: America’s Most Intense Colleges, The University of Georgia is numero uno.

“Many knock UGA as a party school. We’re well rounded, but let there be no mistake. UGA has become more selective 15 out of 16 straight years Michael Adams has been president. Our 2016 student profile is outstanding.”

“The University of Georgia is not really a big drug college. Alcohol is more likely the only thing that kids tend to struggle with since UGA is one of the top party schools in Georgia. Peer pressure is not something that happens for the most part. Either certain people do or they just don’t. If caught drinking under-aged their are definitely consequences and they are definitely reinforced!”

Eh. I have mixed feelings about this write-up. And nothing says academic excellence like the improper use of their/there! That’s embarrassing (for them, not for us).

2. I’ve learned to accept that we all have our strengths, and compiling holiday gift guides is not one of mine. The girls at Piece of Toast, however, have put together a pretty good guide for guys.  I have a serious question: do people give/use flasks anymore? Isn’t that kind of a high school/college graduation gift, or maybe a gag gift at some point during the same time period? I am legitimately curious about this. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone use a flask, and I’ve seen a lot of people drink under-the-radar alcohol. That’s what airplane bottles are for. Or maybe I/the people I hang with aren’t classy enough for flasks? Anywho, lemme know.

3. PANDAZ. I’ll have one cub sandwich, please.

When this cub sandwich happened.

4. I guess everyone deserves happiness? This Rolling Stone article about infamous murderer, Charles Manson, and his 25 year old maybe-bride, Star, is…it’s weird. This will not bolster your goodwill towards men. It will, however, make you uncomfortable. Credit: Mary Cath. Because who else.

5. Let’s end things on a high note. Yes, that means with a heart-warming tale of puppy triumph. After tornadoes ravaged Illinois on Sunday, Jon Bann, his wife, and 4 daughters, were thankful to find themselves unscathed, but they were devastated by the apparent loss of their 11 year old dog, Maggie. A full day after the storm hit, Bann was digging thru the rubble that was his home and heard barking…Today News (NBC) reported:

“After it happened and my dog was lost, I didn’t feel right,’’ Dann said. “I felt extreme guilt, and I felt panic, but I really believe it’s because she was still alive and in there just waiting for me to find her.”

So when they found the dog buried under the rubble, the reunion proved incredibly emotional. “My children were relatively unscathed other than some scratches, and then finding my dog alive and kicking, it’s like everything else is a bonus,’’ Dann said.

maggie

Once the story went viral, donations started pouring in, and well over $4,000 has been raised to cover Maggie’s medical bills.

Now there’s something that should put everyone in the holiday spirit….

That’s all for today. HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and yours.

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