Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

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Posts Tagged ‘meet & greet’

Hey, look – gullible is written on the ceiling

Posted by AllieB on August 16, 2011

Meet & greet: the lap giraffe. At its tallest, it grows to be approximately 30 inches, or 2 feet 6 inches tall. As a bambino, it is a mere 6 inches tall. If you want to see the live cam of the farm on which they live in Russia, go here. If he’s not there, don’t worry – he come back.

 A two week old lap giraffe.

Ivanka – she is the most famous and wealthy of the lap giraffes

Per the website:

Petite Lap Giraffes are very funny animal that require special care. They need lots of love. Hugs and kisses every day. Otherwise they make tears.

Grooming: a bubble bath once a week with purified water is all they need.

In case you haven’t picked up on it, lap giraffes do not exist. But how cool would that be if they did?! Get it together, Science – I want a lap giraffe like NOW, Todd. I need two – one for me and one for my good friend, MPvZB.

I definitely fell for the hoax of the lap giraffes. I mean, I had my doubts, but they can clone and crap nowadays, so why can’t they have miniature giraffes…it was when I got to the pictures of Ivanka that I was like, “waaaaaaait a second…” I believe anything you tell me can always discern fact from fiction…and make use of the helpful web page, Snopes. And tap into the wonder they call “common sense.”

I blame Tuesday for this momentary lapse of judgement. Tuesdays and Hilary are always to blame for my mishaps.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »

Have you met Penny?

Posted by AllieB on May 6, 2011

Penny, best known as the funny, awkward, not very skinny girl on my new favorite show, Happy Endings, is, apparently, my doppelganger. PX will not let this go, so I’m embracing it. She is funny and awkward and charming and can speak fluent italian when she gets drunk. Lo faccio anch’io! Plus, people really seem to like her – I almost feel flattered reading this, like he’s talking about me personally.

Penny is also pretty fiesty. In this week’s episode she learned how to self-defend herself and she totally kicked a**. I can kick a**.

See? I don’t take crap from anyone – that’s me laying down the law to that sasquatch of a human, Paxton. He’ll try to tell you that he’s keeping me from ordering more tacos (oh look, it’s TEX’s TACOS), but it wasn’t, it was me being angry at him for calling me husky.

Which brings me to my real point of issue. It’s all fun and games until someone gets called “husky.” Things really get out of hand when the insult is accompanied with a link to Urban Dictionary.

Huskaroo:

A pudgy or chunky person. In a sentence: That girl just ate half an extra large pizza! What a Huskaroo!

The really unfortunate thing about this is that I did have pizza when I got home last night…sigh.

Whatever, Penny rocks.

courtesy of my frenemy, Paxton

 

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Ruminations from a Recluse

Posted by AllieB on January 12, 2011

Five things that are true about yours truly:

  1. I do not prefer icy weather
  2. I can sleep a LOT
  3. I’m pretty creative in the kitchen
  4. I’m a really good dancer
  5. Not so much with the singing

I laughed at all those people stocking up on bottled water and such at the grocery store Saturday and Sunday. Look who’s laughing now – it’s certainly not me. Anyway, I’ve had a lot of time to do nothing in the last couple of days, and allow me to share with you my new knowledge.

To those of you with Showtime, you MUST MUST MUST watch the new show, Shameless, which premiered on Sunday night. By the end of it, my jaw was literally hanging open in shock and awe – in a good way. It’s about a highly dysfunctional family in Chicago – five kids, an alcoholic father, and their convoluted lives which are instantly engaging and fascinating. It stars William H. Macy, Emmy Rossum (of whom I have not fond memories from the scariest movie of all time, Poseidon, which is about rogue waves in the North Atlantic that are basically tsunamis in the middle of the ocean), and, my favorite, Steve Howey, who was Van on Reba. The show is racy, it’s smart, its moral compass is all over the map…in essence, it’s quality TV.

With an interesting selection of food in pantry/fridge, I’ve had to get a little creative. Last night I made a simple yet delicious (and not the least bit healthy) meal of pasta with eggs for dinner. It sounds kind of redundant, but it was really, really good. The recipe describes it as the ultimate comfort food, and I’m inclined to agree. I can’t quite explain it – it doesn’t just taste like pasta with eggs, somehow the flavors merge and it is a happy time for your taste buds and tumster.

Avril and Britney both have new singles out. Avril’s What the Hell is a guilty pleasure that gets shrill after awhile; Britney’s Hold It Against Me is an electronic number that sounds like it’s already been re-mixed for da club. However, I’ve had a few dance parties to both tunes, and they each provide more than adequate beats for that.

Meet & Greet: Max. I’m staying with Max at his house this week while his parents are in Cabo. CABO. He and I feel the same way about icy weather. We’ve been challenging each other to sleep-a-thons, and it’s unclear as of yet who’s the winner…we’ve both logged in some serious zzzz’s.

Oh, really HOTlanta? Really?

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »

The Man Repeller

Posted by AllieB on January 5, 2011

Meet & Greet: The Man Repeller – a new blog JBax (aka Baxter Bark Thrice) has introduced me to.

Boys have a different taste in girls clothing than girls do. I got curious about the preferences of the males in my immediate social circle so I polled a few friends, inquiring as to what things they find appealing and what things are not so much. Be advised, these responses will shock you to your very core…

Likes: mini-skirts, mini-skirts with boots, any kind of jeans “that fit good,” fur, sequins, tight capri work-out pants, when hair is pulled up and reveals the neck, and, to paraphrase, “anything that shows as much skin as possible.”

Dislikes: enormous sunglasses, too much perfume and/or makeup, anything by Lily Pulitzer, fur, sequins, obviously unnatural hair color, visible panty lines

Unanimous response, more or less: we don’t really care what girls wear as long as it doesn’t look bad.

Well, there you have  it – thank you very much to the gentlemen who humored me; your opinion is greatly valued here at BBT. To the ladies: better take note if you’re lookin for a boo.

Anyway, this blog is pretty funny.

MAN·RE·PELL·ER [MAHN-REE-PELLER]

–noun

outfitting oneself in a sartorially offensive way that will result in repelling members of the opposite sex. Such garments include but are not limited to harem pants, boyfriend jeans, overalls (see: human repelling), shoulder pads, full length jumpsuits, jewelry that resembles violent weaponry and clogs.

Girl 1: What are you wearing tonight?

Girl 2: My sweet lime green drop crotch utility pants

Girl 1: Oh, so we’re man repelling tonight?

The two photos and commentary below are an excerpt from her recent post, Trend Spotting: Red Lips, Man Repeller or Propeller? I really like this girl:

from Who is Bobb-Paris

I applaud her effort at trying to include a small bit of sex appeal via lace bralette, but the chambray shirt and high-waisted pajama pantaloons make this an immediate Man Getter fail. Good for you, Fupa Fran.

from Who is Bobb-Paris

Perhaps another effort at exuding a small bit of sex appeal? I see London, I see France, I see your granny-underpants. Sorry, Charlie. There’s a dead animal around your neck.

Upon further perusal, I’m realizing it’s not just about what repels men and what doesn’t – at least not singularly – she’s clearly v fashion forward and has some good ideas about recreating couture when you can’t afford it, item wishlists, etc…she’s also been featured as a guest blogger on ShopBop, Urban Outfitters, Lucky Magazine – the list goes on. Point is, she is a revered fashion commentator, but her approach is witty and interesting and more appealing to the masses.

Ms. Man Repeller is evidently something of a blogging genius.

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

She’ll do

Posted by AllieB on December 22, 2010

I know I do a lot of hating on various female celebs on this thing – J Simps is a disaster, and don’t even get me started on ole Boobs Legsly (sorry, Joey – that’s just the way it’s going to be here at BBT), and I feel this sets forth an inaccurate representation of what I, AllieB, am really all about.

And what I am all about, it seems, is pizza, wine, library books, and Mila Kunis. I freaking love Mila Kunis. It wasn’t immediate; she used to bug the crap outta me on That 70′s Show, but that was then and this is now – and now I think she’s awesome.

Here is why I luv Mila:

  1. She is really pretty
  2. She can speak 7 languages – on one episode of Family Guy Meg, the character Mila does the voice for, randomly started speaking Ukrainian, and it was the coolest thing I’ve ever heard
  3. She seems fun/normal – in fact, we’d probably be besties were we ever to have a Meet & Greet
  4. She is, like, really pretty
  5. She dresses well – Go Fug Yourself compiled an interesting retrospective of recent outfits

Given her, um, romantical scene with Natalie Portman in Black Swan I should maybe take my affections down a notch, but it’s really just an innocent girl crush – I want to be her, not be with her…just to clarify…

This is kind of rad – Sandstorm has always been a favorite, and it gets particularly trance-y at 1:21. I hope they’re hosting late night.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »