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Posts Tagged ‘holiday’

2013 -> No Más

Posted by AllieB on December 19, 2013

2013 was the year of – what: it was the year of twerking, Snapchat, Kanye, Netflix, and my 30th birthday. It was a lousy year for the cruise industry (CARNIVAL), but SNL has been pretty funny. As I do every year, I marvel at how quickly it’s gone by…luckily, the month of January feels like it’s 3 full years, all on its own, so I figure that’ll help balance things out. Here now, a woefully incomplete list of random things in 2013, superlative-ized.

- Most likely to boggle ze mind: Wall Street Journal does 2013 in photos. These are incredible – you gotta take a look.

super moon NYC

The super moon on June 23, 2013 as seen in Manhattan #badass

Most universally annoying thing that I secretly do not find annoying: selfies.

- Best example of why it’s great to be a Georgia Bulldog and not a SC Gamecock: Someone Caught Steve Spurrier Humping a Yoga Ball

- BBT’s most read post: ALRIGHT. So when I get mad, BBT gets good? (JSimps, the Post Office, the hot girl at Equinox…no one’s safe)

- BBT’s most gratuitous use of p0rn (spoiler: it’s food p0rn): Hide Your Crazy and Start Acting Like A Lady - I also like the post in general: personal truths, my new ‘hood, some tunes, and, of course, lobsta rolls…(I had to use a 0 instead of an o, my internet filter does not like that word.)

- Best place in the entire world to be around Christmas: NYC

grand central

- Most likely to wear short skirts and move to Boston and become a lawyer: my senior superlative in high school. The newspaper staff made them up, and I was on the newspaper staff so I got off easy – come to think of it, I might have even made it up myself… Nerd.

- Most likely to make you shake your first and ask, WHY GOD WHY: you can’t pick your family, and you can’t pick where you’re from: Grantland’s Rembert Brown does poetic justice to the injustice that was afflicted upon Atlanta sports fans this fall.

- Best dog of the year/century/millennium: Missy Baxter. We miss you, Missy :(

she got the paper every morning for most of her life, starting when she was a teeny tiny puppy and the paper was bigger than she was

she got the paper every morning for most of her life, starting when she was a teeny tiny puppy and the paper was bigger than she was

- …but this dog is a close second. This story made my entire year.

- Hardest restaurant to get a reservation: it’s not even in NYC – Canoe in ATL wins this. I called like 7 weeks ago and they were already booked up for Christmas Eve. WTF Canoe? Whatevs, ever since they started curtailing their bread basket by having waiters distribute SINGULAR pieces, as opposed to the legit carb orgy they used to do, I’m kind of over it anyway. UPDATE: Canoe literally just called – there was a cancellation, and we’re in. I take back what I said about the bread and being over it – y’all knew that was a bunch of BS. I guess Canoe is no longer worthy of this superlative, I’ll go with Charlie Bird (Mary, what’s your secret!?) or ABC Kitchen.

- Sneakiest giraffe/most typical tourists:

stupid tourists! serves them right.

As taken by me, with my iPhone, in Pilanesberg, ZA

- Most likely to suffer from injuries due to an omnipresent Melvin: Miley Cyrus.

- Most legitimately useful information that I will likely never use: these 99 life hacks. The mind REELS.

- Most inopportune moment to drop a curtsy: at my work  Christmas party, I walked out of the restroom at the same time as the President of our company did (he out of the men’s room, me out of women’s – duh), which is an inherently awkward meet and greet all on its own. Never one to miss out on a potentially humiliating encounter, I CURTSIED before him – just as one might the Queen – and raised my glass of champagne as I bade him a pleasant evening. Why would you do that, Allie? I don’t know.

- Most exclusive, seen-and-be-seen event of the year:

Doc4

- Least tan person in the world, on average, over the last 12 months: Me. Or maybe Fleming.

- Most likely to touch a frozen pole with her tongue and get stuck: Miley Cyrus.

- Best gift for the person who has everything – guarantee you they don’t have this: The Kanye West Pug Calendar: 2014% Awesome

kanye february

It’s been a good year! I blogged almost weekly (almost), I got my hair balayage-ed/ombré-ed (I think I like it?), and I rode the Staten Island Ferry.  I also knocked out my sixth continent and got Amazon Prime – 2013 was wild! Who knows what 2014 will bring for BBT…perhaps there will be some external ventures…maybe in the form of a novel? I KNOW, I’ll stop talking and start doing. HAPPIEST of Holidays to you and yours!!

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

BBT Reveals: Things Girls Could Possibly Want & Things They Absolutely Do NOT Want

Posted by AllieB on December 12, 2013

It’s important to keep in mind that all of the answers given here are subject to mood-swings, the second/minute/hour of day, barometric pressure, and a gazillion other variables you couldn’t possibly anticipate.

And we’re back! Last week was an in-depth look into the hearts and minds of men (as they pertain to Christmas), and this week’s post will attempt to do the same for the ladies. I can tell you what they say they want, but as to what they truly desire, well – I am powerless to speculate. Here’s a tip for everyone, all shapes, sizes, genders: if you’re at a loss for what to get someone, just buy yourself Chromecast and call it a day. I did, and I couldn’t be happier – that’s the best gift of all, right? Chromecast streams Netflix and YouTube from your phone or computer (without zapping battery life or slowing things down) onto your TV. It is a USB drive that you plug into the TV. There are no cords, and it costs $35. This isn’t rocket science.

I digress. Here you go – what your lady friends want for Christmas:

girls want for christmas

This response to “Other” was by far the most lame of all the responses to any question, girl or boy: I wear the same stud earrings everyday and want something to spice up my daily look!

I can’t even tell if she’s kidding. For the sake of BBT’s integrity, I will assume she is. Moving on.

girls getting guys for xmas

Specified “Other” items included:

  • Jeans…sick of looking at his dad jeans
  • new clothes- specifically pants as the pleated khakis he wears sometimes resemble MC Hammers’
  • If I had a man I would buy him a gift for myself. Maybe that’s why I’m single.
  • Big Green Egg
  • A session with a medium. I swear we aren’t crazy.

Yeah…I’m pretty sure y’all are crazy.

And if you’re wise, you’ll pay close attention to this one: gifts that will make a girl go absolutely batsh*t bonkers (and not in a good way) are:

  • cirque du soleil tickets. Yuck.
  • anything that was on my wedding registry
  • ugly clothes that I can’t return
  • Any sort of class. If I want to learn how to do something, I will goog
  • victoria secret underwear
  • anything relating to cooking
  • A scale…
  • Crew neck christmas sweaters. WHY GOD WHY?
  • for him to get a puppy. 2013 is not the year of playing pick up the poop
  • My parents telling me the fact that they flew me home to visit for Christmas is a big enough gift.
  • coal in my stocking
  • Weird Jewelry/House Stuff/Anything Mature
  • a cookbook/cooking utensils/an apron/cooking lessons
  • SOCKS. I DO NOT WANT SOCKS.

I agree – coal would suck, and the one with the parents saying your ticket home for Christmas was gift enough…saddies :( On that note, THANK YOU, G-force and Geoff, for your kindness and generosity 365 days/year!

The responses to “The gift I want most in the world” were 80% about taking a really cool trip, 10% about a new house, 8% want a puppy and/or Ryan Reynolds, and then there was the doofus who wants a navy Porsche Cayenne with tan leather interior. SMH*

girls say santa

My takeaways are twofold: 1. I know some pretty bratty females, and 2. guys and girls aren’t so different after all: NO ONE WANTS SOCKS. In spite of the answers provided by my male and female cohorts, I think what everyone really wants (besides Chromecast) is a thoughtful gift that shows that the giver was truly thinking of the give-ee…and is not a piece of crap.

I’m realizing now that, once again, I neglected to take my own survey, so I will leave you with my answers.

1. This best describes what I want for Christmas: clothes, a trip, jewelry, and a spa day

2. I am getting the man in my life a beautiful, golden goose egg (I think nothing is a great gift for someone who does not exist)

3. I will go batsh*t bonkers if someone gets me….I can’t think of anything that would make me go loco. Y’all, a gift’s a gift.

4. Santa is: REAL.

TGIT! It was 14 degrees when I woke up this morning.

*I finally goog’ed what SMH stands for last week – it means “shaking my head”

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

BBT Investigates: What Do Guys Really Want?

Posted by AllieB on December 5, 2013

*specifically, what do guys really want for Christmas. The title is intentionally misleading.

Last year I asked 100 or so of my male and female friends, acquaintances, and frenemies to take a little survey about gift giving and receiving. I took the time to create it, they obliged me in answering it, I tracked and compiled their answers…and then I threw all of our hard work in the crapper. But, today I revisited my hard work and have decided, yes, these insightful questions and revealing answers must be shared! I am aware that I recently said gift guides are not one of my strengths, and that’s still true, but I’m not providing links to artisan cheese boards, I’m giving you the gift of TRUTH…it also adds a little insight into the ever-mystifying minds of the opposite sex. This is more than a gift guide; it’s a guide to life.

Today, per the title, we’ll learn about the dudes. PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE.

boys what they want

The best “Other” response I got was: Like Mariah, all I want for Christmas is ewe. I’m hoping to start a farm. 

You can’t say this wasn’t helpful! Ok fine, other “Other” responses included golf clubs, golf vacation, and golf clubs.

boys ignore girls

The most telling commentary was: If I ignored what she said she wanted and something on my own I would totally fail.

See?? You can’t make these vague references or veiled hints and expect to get what you want, or even remotely what you want. This goes for most things you’re trying to communicate, I’ve learned, just go ahead and spell it out. #lifelessons

dumb when girls ask for

There was some helpful commentary along with this question:

  • All of the above but also something “small”
  • “nothing” and a ring
  • Is it true that when a woman says nothing she means something? I did not expect to learn so much from a quiz. Do women always mean the opposite of what they say? Thanks, BBT!
  • “Oh, I’m sure I’ll love whatever you get me.” Wanna bet?
  • clothes… I have absolutely no idea what size you are. If I guess too big, I think you are too fat… if too small, its a subliminal messages to lose weight – lose lose

I’m sensing a bit of SARCASM from the funny guy in the middle.

The next question wasn’t really graphable:

I will be really pissed if I receive any of the following items:

  • A nicer version of something I already have. I simply don’t give a shit if it’s new. If it isn’t broken, I don’t a replacement.
  • Hemorrhoid Cream
  • a f*cking tie
  • socks or towels
  • more pajama pants
  • fruit cake
  • cologne
  • Jelly of the month club
  • vacuum cleaner
  • owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
  • Slippers
  • Anything I didn’t pick out
  • Any kind of DVD. Also, I don’t need anymore golf shirts.
  • grown up clothes
  • a Nickelback CD
  • A Cookbook

Jeeez, diva central over here.

boys santa

Alright, girls – now you know: be very clear about what you want, don’t even THINK about buying socks, and anything golf-related is probably a safe bet. Wow, Allie, that sure is a lot of brand new information.

Happy Thursday! See y’all next week when we delve into the female psyche…that sounds terrifying.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

You might be a Redneck if…

Posted by AllieB on November 21, 2013

Happy Thursday/Hunger Games!!

It’s that weird time of year when I’m definitely excited for the holidays, but the onslaught of decor and commercials and the fact that Thanksgiving hasn’t happened yet is kind of throwing me. At least it was until earlier this morning, when I figured out what my Redneck Elf Name is, and now I’m totally pumped for December Bender the Holidays. My game face: it is on.

XMAS

Hey, y’all! I’m Trixie, the gingerbread deerhunter!

I’ve never wished my last name began with a Q, but I would’ve been real pleased if my redneck name was Cletus. I don’t know why I’m so entertained by this – I guess there’s nothing like a naughty dope dealer named Bubba to get your head right about the Holidaze. (Credit: Kitty Decks)

Another thing that thwarted my acceptance of the imminent Yuletide Season was my trip to LA last week, Santa Monica specifically. I really like it out there – as I said after my last visit in June, while Los Angeles reminds me of outer space (and I HATE outer space), Santa Monica is delightful. It’s beautiful, it was 86 degrees, you’ve got mountains and beach….but it’s empty! Maybe I’m just used to having full body contact with 2-3 strangers on the subway each morning, but it was almost eerie how few people were out and about. Anyway, good trip, The Fairmont is a lovely place to stay, and I managed to snap this one evening leaving the office. No filtration, as ever, but does it not look like a fake movie set or similar?? I know, it totes does.

santa mon sunset

Sorry I’m not sorry if you don’t like vista pictures as much as I do.

I’ve had few blog-worthy anecdotes in my personal life of late – this isn’t a bad thing, as my anecdotal instances tend to include a lot of me being an idiot – but, as a result, I feel as though I am ‘connecting’ less with BBT. I shall persevere and instead of telling about my horrible flight on Friday (and it was AWFUL), I will instead give you lots of external links to peruse.

1. As devastating as Saturday’s loss was for the Dawgs and the Dawgnation, at least we’ve got this going for us…? According to Business Week’s list, WORK HARD, PLAY HARD: America’s Most Intense Colleges, The University of Georgia is numero uno.

“Many knock UGA as a party school. We’re well rounded, but let there be no mistake. UGA has become more selective 15 out of 16 straight years Michael Adams has been president. Our 2016 student profile is outstanding.”

“The University of Georgia is not really a big drug college. Alcohol is more likely the only thing that kids tend to struggle with since UGA is one of the top party schools in Georgia. Peer pressure is not something that happens for the most part. Either certain people do or they just don’t. If caught drinking under-aged their are definitely consequences and they are definitely reinforced!”

Eh. I have mixed feelings about this write-up. And nothing says academic excellence like the improper use of their/there! That’s embarrassing (for them, not for us).

2. I’ve learned to accept that we all have our strengths, and compiling holiday gift guides is not one of mine. The girls at Piece of Toast, however, have put together a pretty good guide for guys.  I have a serious question: do people give/use flasks anymore? Isn’t that kind of a high school/college graduation gift, or maybe a gag gift at some point during the same time period? I am legitimately curious about this. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone use a flask, and I’ve seen a lot of people drink under-the-radar alcohol. That’s what airplane bottles are for. Or maybe I/the people I hang with aren’t classy enough for flasks? Anywho, lemme know.

3. PANDAZ. I’ll have one cub sandwich, please.

When this cub sandwich happened.

4. I guess everyone deserves happiness? This Rolling Stone article about infamous murderer, Charles Manson, and his 25 year old maybe-bride, Star, is…it’s weird. This will not bolster your goodwill towards men. It will, however, make you uncomfortable. Credit: Mary Cath. Because who else.

5. Let’s end things on a high note. Yes, that means with a heart-warming tale of puppy triumph. After tornadoes ravaged Illinois on Sunday, Jon Bann, his wife, and 4 daughters, were thankful to find themselves unscathed, but they were devastated by the apparent loss of their 11 year old dog, Maggie. A full day after the storm hit, Bann was digging thru the rubble that was his home and heard barking…Today News (NBC) reported:

“After it happened and my dog was lost, I didn’t feel right,’’ Dann said. “I felt extreme guilt, and I felt panic, but I really believe it’s because she was still alive and in there just waiting for me to find her.”

So when they found the dog buried under the rubble, the reunion proved incredibly emotional. “My children were relatively unscathed other than some scratches, and then finding my dog alive and kicking, it’s like everything else is a bonus,’’ Dann said.

maggie

Once the story went viral, donations started pouring in, and well over $4,000 has been raised to cover Maggie’s medical bills.

Now there’s something that should put everyone in the holiday spirit….

That’s all for today. HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and yours.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

The 8th Sign of the Apocalypse

Posted by AllieB on October 31, 2013

It is neither famine nor earthquake, or any of that other apocalyptic stuff, that has me concerned…it is the confirmed, reputably-reported WINE SHORTAGE. I was hesitant to write about this – I imagine droves of people causing riots at liquor stores, brawling over who gets the last case of The Pinot Project. Perhaps not, but you better believe when this all becomes a real thing, I will be prepared and you will be thirsty.

There’s just not enough wine in the world, says Morgan Stanley, and the problem is only going to get worse.

I feel like a ghost just passed thru me – that is some scary stuff.

Speaking of scary….HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! I have no costume, and I feel like Scrooge. Maybe I should have dressed up as Scrooge?? I couldn’t get excited about anything, and now I feel left out. Woe is me. At least some people get it right…herewith, my two favorite costumes, ever:

The Donk as Werewolf of London. I am terrified yet fascinated

The Donk as Werewolf of London. Incredible

WaWa never disappoints...Bone Appetit (credit: Swardina)

WaWa never disappoints…Bone Appetit! (credit: Swardina)

Haters gonna hate: Blake Lively is not a new addition to My List. I have accepted her hotness – she’s really so attractive one can’t even be jealous; she’s inhuman. However, I can fault her for being a moron, and I think it would be in her best interest to stop talking. Stand there with your glorious hair, pouty pout, the bod that defies science, and keep that yapper shut. Blake’s been chosen as the new L’Oreal spokesperson and recently had a publicist-free interview with Vogue U.K. about her beauty/fashion/livelihood tips.

I don’t really need a personal trainer, or watch what I eat. I can’t start the day without a hot chocolate, or finish it without a few squares of dark chocolate. Its good for my mood!

Words we can all live by, truly.

A&K came last weekend, and it was the best. We ate delicious meals (Market Table & Locanda Verde were highlights) and laughed a lot and Amy took selfies. I’m a big fan of the hometown team…

BBT - K - A - E Rock - Lady Liberty

BBT – K – A – E Rock – Lady Liberty

Today is the 31st of October, so tomorrow is the first of November. That is whack. Man, I don’t write for one week and totally lose all my mojo…I’m just really shaken up by this wine shortage.

#mojo

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , | 5 Comments »