Baxter Bark Twice

Enough about me – let's talk about you

Give an inch and they’ll take a mile

Posted by AllieB on May 17, 2012

If you live in Atlanta like I do, then you’ve been inundated with the arrival of the latest Willy’s spin-off, Lime. Do not go to there. Even if your co-workers are all, “hey, let’s check out that new place Lime!” say, in a strong, stern, slightly assertive voice, “No, thank you.” It’s just not good. They’re trying way too hard to be good, and it’s embarassing for everyone. I went the other day because I had a coupon for a free taco it’s close to work/my house, and it was a mistake. K, I should’ve listened to you. I guess their salsa bar featuring 7 different salsas is ok, and the quesadilla wasn’t horrible, but their CHIPS (the standard by which all tex-mex restaurants should be judged, IMO) are awful. Might as well bust open a bag of Tostitos and call it a day. BBT says: pass. The good news is…. Barberitos is opening in The Peach Shopping Center!! Yes, it’s true, and I’m so excited.

I’ve come to the conclusion that people who cut hair are taught that the measurement “one inch” actually means “as much as you want plus a little more”. I got my hair cut yesterday, and when I told her I wanted only a teeeeeny tiny bit trimmed she said, “Sure! We’ll only take off half an inch – three-fourths of an inch at most.” I was so excited – finally someone who understood me. Well, the only way she took off half an inch is if by inch she meant FOOT. This is ridiculous. I was in a rush post-appointment to get another much more urgent appointment, so I didn’t take the time to check out the damage, but I’m not happy. It’s too bad I don’t drive that minivan anymore because I finally look the part. Flat.Face.

48 Things That Will Make You Feel Old. Enjoy!! What an uplifting start to my day – thanks, YKenna. Pardon me while I go get my personal affairs in order…

good god. We're as old as the dinosaurs

Ah, this helps: 37 People Who Have No Idea What They’re Doing.

Dad on the subway: you're doing it wrong!

Thirsty Thursday!! Have a wonderful day, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, and always remember that three rights make a left.

*A special thank you to LucyC for ensuring my grammatical accuracy.

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#BBTproblems

Posted by AllieB on May 15, 2012

So far as I can tell, everyone I know has been going on vacation. And not even wedding-related vacations, but actual, legitimate holidays. I do not prefer this. If one more person checks in at Have You Ever Seen Water More Blue Resort or How Delicious Do These Frozen, Fruity Beverages Look Cay, I’m going to quit Facebook. Obviously, I’m not quitting Facebook, but I really am over it. WHERE IS MY VACATION. Mom, don’t answer that. For now I’ll have to settle for being the host with the most of a raging pity party – check your email for registry info.

To console myself I shall revist my own trips of yore:

 This time in 2k6 BBT was visiting Phi Phi Island, Thailand. I wonder what that girl’s name is with whom I’m drinking the vino..? I know she was from Dublin. Regardless, this really isn’t helping – nor did your email about Australia, Talbott, so thank you for that. (The part about the hole in the ground facilities did a little bit, however.)

I can’t make myself sit thru entire episodes of The Bachelorette, especially when they feature snoozefests like Emily Maynard (she’s pretty, there’s no denying that, but she, much like Taylor Swift, just make me want to take a nap), so I direct you to Melissa F’s blog/recap about last night’s premiere on Fonty Fest. I very much enjoyed reading it even though I really had no context for her commentary. This is great because now I will never feel the need actually watch it. Thank you, Melissa!

Speaking of vacations, for those of you taking trips in the near future, bite me check out these books: for those who enjoy lighter stories geared towards a more feminine audience, I recommend The Opposite of Me by Sarah Pekkanen. It’s chick-lit for sure, but it’s well-written and engaging…I laughed, I cried, etc etc. (Speaking of chick-lit, Elin has a new book coming out this summer..!) For both genders, I recommend this much darker, sordid, absolutely enthralling mystery: Defending Jacob by William Landay. Suffice it to say, it is not your average best-seller mystery, and once I got into it I couldn’t put it down. I’m still reeling from the ending.

Lastly, I’ve decided that I can let go of my Kate Middleton obsession, because I think I might just do the whole princess thing on my own. While always cute in an endearing-ginger kind of way, these recent pics of Prince Harry pretty much solidified his swoon-worthy status…kissing babies: check; kissing puppies: check. Notably not present: his Nazi costume (which I hope he’s retired permanently…) Oh, plus he’s playing polo. Helllooooo, Prince Harry.

You come here to me. I promise I’ll never say “swoon-worthy” again.

By the way, I recently learned what I’d do for a Klondike Bar: change out of comfy cozy pajamas into somewhat presentable garb, put on SHOES, descend several flights of stairs, and walk a block down Peachtree in icky drizzle at a late-night hour to the glowing mecca that is my local Walgreen’s. Oh, and pay for it in change. For the record: it wasn’t worth it.

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Taking one for the team

Posted by AllieB on May 8, 2012

HELLO!! Let’s jump right in.

Although posing for wedding pics can be a real pain, the end result is always fun to browse – the actual event was months ago and things have started to get blurry, then all of a sudden you have 1,772 pictures to relive the entire day…for better or for worse. What this most recent set of images from the Baxter-Maines nuptials has learned me is that I ought to avoid the camera unless I am intentionally posing. Now, I’m not totally vain and I realize that these weddings photos aren’t about me, and it doesn’t really matter what I look like – it’s not my day – but it’s become too glaring of an issue to ignore. Plus, this blog is about what I want it to be about, and today is about me teaching you what not to do when taking pictures:

1. Show any sort of raw emotion.

Char seeing my dad for the first time. Seriously, BBT, get it together. Lucy looks on serenely; I could very possibly be on the verge of collapse.

2. Do the running man on the dancefloor:

Mom looks cute and breezy. I look like a hoss.

3. Sport any kind of hair-do that showcases abnormally large ears (I GREW INTO THEM) or bedeck oneself in a drab, ill-fitting, button-down mock turtlenecks. WTF is that.

Allie & Otis Nixon, 1993..? I think it was ’93. It was post-over the wall catch, pre-departure from the Braves. Whatevs – we were instant kindreds.

But, seriously – don’t do the running man on the dance floor, and keep the singing along to a minimum. I decided to leave out the pics of my Steven Tyler impression – it was simply too cruel to share…for the sake of both my peepers and yours. Note to Char/Mom: be kind when assembling the wedding album.

I think I want to start writing freelance..like for local publications. Specifically: restaurant reviews. Specifically: restaurant reviews where the publisher foots the bill and I am treated like Julia Roberts in My Best Friends Wedding. Should someone have an in on that, holla. And I’m kidding about the diva part, as the photos above so clearly demonstrate: BBT is no diva.

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For dudes, by dudes

Posted by AllieB on May 2, 2012

One thing I really appreciated during BBT’s prolonged hiatus was that, even though I’d gone by the wayside, people still sent me ideas/links/articles/pictures that they thought might be relevant. In many instances they were wrong, and the material wasn’t the least bit relevant, but with some they definitely were on point. RD: I’m looking at you. He sent me Bearings  ”A Southern Lifestyle Guide for Men” (join me in my hypothermia-inducing nerd chills), and, while the subtitle was not my favorite, I came around after some browsing. Namely because they talk a lot about food.

1. A list of Buford Highway eateries. This is really helpful. While there are some veritable gems along the international corridor that is Buford Highway, there are also some very serious misses…and you wouldn’t want to accidentally go to the one that actually does serve alley cat in lieu of mystery meat.

2. A best-of restaurant list with sub-lists. Best Patio, Best Burger, Best Steakhouses, Best Breakfasts, Best BBQ…and more. Maybe I need to join forces with Bearings? Or, even better! I can do a female version…what would we call it…GRITS: You Are What You Eat…no, that’s no good. That doesn’t even make sense. Moving along.

3. This delicious recipe for Thai-Style Baby Back Ribs. Someone is more than welcome to cook these and then invite me over to try them.

Anyway, check it out…there’s a lot of interesting stuff: articles about wine, interviews with up and comers…I take back what I said about the nerd chills. This is legit.

And now, in other news……Eli Manning is hosting SNL on Saturday. The promos are great – I think it will be funny!

I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty excited about The Avengers, opening this Friday. I don’t think I’ll go see it at midnight of opening day as Claire and I may or may not have done for the Hunger Games…….but I’m excited.

Another thing we may or may not have done is pose on the Red Carpet.

The other day my boss told me I look like Drew Barrymore.

Sure. Why not.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY! Go Braves! Go Hawks! Sports!!!

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I’d rather not go to there

Posted by AllieB on May 1, 2012

Atlanta, in recent years, has really made a name for itself on the Foodie Scene. From high-end chains like BLT Steak to the food trucks (Tex’s Tacos WE MISS YOU), Atlanta has made an indelible foot print on the national culinary front. I read NYMag on a daily basis not for the politico mumbo jumbo or even the current events, but for the celeb, food, and culture stuff. The penultimate category pertains mostly to NYC-centric restaurants, but occasionally they step outside the box. Their food section, Grub Street, just published this article listing worth-the-trip restaurants in every US state (50 State Dinners: Food Pilgrimages You Must Make This Summer). Neat! I thought. “Pilgrimage” implies that they’re going off the beaten-track a bit, so I actually thought about for it for a second before I read the Georgia suggestion. I figured it probably wouldn’t be in Atlanta, unless it was a Korean BBQ place on Buford Highway or similar, but I thought they might direct people to Athens or Savannah, or even Madison or Thomasville – definitely someplace in a town that’s heavy on Southern Charm. Evidently, I was barking (get it?!) up the wrong tree:

And we wonder why Georgia still has this country bumpkin, back-country, red-neck, missing teeth persona. Let me first assert I am not hating on Rexall Grill - I’ve never been therefore cannot judge, and I’m sure that, if it’s made the upper crust echelon that is NYMag, it must be pretty good, but COME ON. Surely there’s a better photo? And what’s more – once you send people to Duluth, they’re going to be in Duluth…this is hardly a destination eatery. I spent a lot of time in Duluth back in 2k5 when I was slinging ads for the AJC, and there’s not a whole lot going on unless you count sitting in traffic as an activity. Which I do not. I probably would have chosen someplace on Tybee Island, such as Tybee Island Social Club. Should you find yourself on Tybee Island, you must go to here: long on charm, short on strip malls/doors with bells that ring when you enter. Or what about ADD Drug in Athens?! It’s a pharmacy that serves awesome food and it’s in the coolest city in the world. I think I might leave a comment on the website about this oversight.

If this is the direction in which NYMag was going, perhaps they should have chosen One Star…?

Summer’s here. Who has a pool?

I know I said I wasn’t going to talk about her anymore, so I will leave you only with this one teeny thing. (Just click thru; no sound, no crazy pop-ups – just simple truth)

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO WILLIAM & KATE! That wedding really was the highlight of my 2011. She’s as glorious as ever. All hail the princess.

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I’ve sat here for 10 minutes and cannot think of a title

Posted by AllieB on April 25, 2012

Like: the most recent ad by Google Chrome wherein a man uses all of Google’s nifty apps to win back the one who got away. Before you scoff at my lameness and scroll down to the next paragraph, PLEASE take a look. You know how rarely I do videos on BBT… I truly wish the best to Mark Potter. Re: needing sound – the music adds to the overall effect, but I guess it’s not 100% mandatory:

I take it back, you need sound.

Dislike*: I was very, very wrong about “Don’t Trust the B*tch in Apartment 23″. It was NOT good. Dawson Leary was pretty funny, but I think he only seemed funny in comparison to the heinosity (yes, heinosity) of the other storylines/characters. Skip. Deactivate the season record. Do not want.

*What a testament to my ever-present optimism: that a TV show is the only thing I dislike right now. Even I am inspired by my sunny outlook on life.

**Retract. Between that last line and this one I realized I very much dislike how I pale I am, that it is somehow only Wednesday, and that I am very dissatisfied with everything in my closet.

On Notice/That Is Whack: I am shocked – shocked – that I am still writing about this: that in the time I began questioning her pregnancy, I have changed jobs, quit writing BBT for 2 months, gone to the moon, and finally figured out what happened to Amelia Earhart (we’ll get to that in my next post)…..and yet, she is STILL pregnant. HOW?!? I’m not kidding, I actually need someone to answer this question. I’ve come to the conclusion that JSimps is not a human, but either a giraffe – giraffes carry their young for 15 months or an elephant – they carry their babies for 22 months.

I think this answers that.

Honestly, I don’t even enjoy making fun of her anymore – the material has gone stale…I’m guessing y’all are feeling similarly. I’m no doctor, but might it be time to induce this thing..?

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO LeBOOF and LEILA!!! Welcome to your late twenties.

Have a wonderful Wednesday. I mean that sincerely, without any irony.

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Low-Brow > High-Brow

Posted by AllieB on April 18, 2012

Three posts in a row?! I’m on fiyah.

My hobbies include writing BBT, going for yogs, driving around, and reading – I really like to read. My taste tends to air on the side of trashy with a side of smut, but what’re ya gonna do – it’s an escape. Sorry I’m not sorry I like best sellers and chick lit and my latest find…which needs a category all of its own. A few ideas that come to mind are “inappropriate” and “you should have to show ID to purchase this book.” The only reason I feel like it’s okay to bring it up on BBT, whose PG-13 rating I vigilantly maintain, is because they talked about it on the Today Show and a movie – a mainstream movie – is in the works. Meet & greet: The Fifty Shades Trilogy.

This is some steamy stuff. The whole premise is this young college graduate, Anastasia, and an older (27 year-old??) man, Christian, who is very rich but also very ‘damaged.’ So damaged, in fact, that the only kind of relationship he knows is one of Dominance/Submission. This is also known as BDSM, about which you will learn entirely too much in the first book. He is the Dominant and he seeks out Submissives who are skinny with brown hair because they look like his ‘crack whore mother.’ Already I feel like I’ve stepped outside of my BBT boundaries…Mom, you will not like this book. I’m about to start the third and final installment, and I’m very excited. Turns out there’s a whole plot that is getting pretty thrilling. Is the writing good? No…but it’s not unreadable. I found Twilight to be unreadable – the thing read like a movie script. Is it a guilty pleasure? Quite. Even for me and my admittedly low-brow tastes this goes a bit far. Do I recommend it? Yes…but only if you take it for what it is.

According to Amazon: Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever. Um, that might be going a bit far…I’m not a psycho, I just like the books. Whatever, go to here to purchase/find out more. Credit: Lucy. I just remembered that I have an old post entitled Bookshelf Porn after a website featuring photos of people’s personal libraries…well Fifty Shades of Grey might actually be bookshelf porn.

A new show comes on after Modern Family tonight: Don’t Trust the B*tch in Apartment 23. I think it looks funny for the following reasons: 1. James van der Beek is in it and he’s kind of playing himself…like still trying to flaunt his Dawson Leary days. We miss those days, too, Dawson. 2. Kristen Ritter is funny. She was one of the few highlights in 27 Dresses and I think her droll delivery is entertaining. 3. This is the description on IMDb: Centers on Chloe, a New York party girl with the morals of a pirate who bullies and causes trouble for her naive small town roommate June.

Sold. So, tune in, DVR, whatever…if you look at my track record, when I say it’s going to be good, it’s going to be good. I was right about Cougar Town, I was right about Happy Endings, I was right about Homeland, and I was right about Revenge. I’m 4 for 4 suckas.

There are many view points on quality vs quantity…as in, should I pump the brakes on writing something if I don’t have a whole lot to say? (I’m referencing this post, BTW.) I think I’m still in fragile territory with my readers, so I’m going quantity > quality. Take it or leave it. And I think I might need to reassess my taste in books and television, maybe class things up a bit….

Happy Hump Day!

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Should I use my invisibility to fight crime, or for evil…

Posted by AllieB on April 17, 2012

One thing that is neat about weddings is the opportunity to engage in extremely awkward and uncomfortable conversations. These convos typically take place when you’re in the midst of or en route to a conversation you actually genuinely want to be a part of, but I find the best way to handle it is to just laugh it off…particularly when an interaction like the one I endured occurs, as detailed below.

Cut to: Charlotte’s reception. I am having a very fun time with K and Lee, when a person whom I know only thru my mother’s stories about her dogs approaches and interrupts our conversation:

Woman: Hi, I just wanted to come say hello…your mother is such a good friend of mine and I wanted to meet her daughters! You’re Jordan, right?

Me: No, I’m Allie. And you’re Mrs. X, with the dogs who lives on Y street, right? Thanks for all your help with the planning! (you can call me Rainman – usually I can’t remember anything about anyone)

Woman: Yes, that is me! So, are you the one with the glitzy PR job in New York?

Me: No, that’s Jordan.

Woman: Ohh…  so are you the one at UCLA business school?

Me: No, that’s Charlotte. She’s the bride.

Woman: Ohh…  well is that your cute boyfriend who I hear has been so helpful this whole weekend?

Me: No, that’s Jordan’s boyfriend.

Woman: Ohh…  I have three cute sons – how old are you?

Me: 28

K: (helpfully interjecting) She’s actually closer to 29!

Me: Thank you, K. Yes, I’m closer to 29.

Woman: Well, my son is 28…..and he dates just the most wonderful girl!! I do hope they get engaged soon.

Me: (after brief silence) I hope they get engaged soon, also.

Woman: Ok, I’ll let you get back to your friends. Jordan, it was just so lovely to meet you!!

And fail. In case anyone was wondering where that middle child invisibility syndrome comes from, that’s where.

I think Coachella looks like a lot of fun…I’m not a big music festival person, but Coachella looks…greener and decidedly less manic than, say, Bonaroo. Also, it’s a great excuse to put together outfits that make no sense.

Ke$ha. No.

I wish I were somehow a part of this couple – obviously in a platonic way…but they seem so cool and normal…and when Diane leaves to go to the bathroom, I could head toss and shoulder dip at Pacey Witter and maybe even tell him some funny stories…?? Even though he is committing the mortal sin of jacket-around-waist, I still love him.

stripes!

Brad and Angelina are engaged. Evidently her voodoo and magic potions finally paid off.

Guys are pe-dazzling. CAN WE NOT.

J Simps is set to give birth 14 months ago in three days…! I’m so excited.

 

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Pizza for everybody!

Posted by AllieB on April 16, 2012

This is not brand new information, but I demand a click-thru on this link: #WHATSHOULDWECALLME. It’s funny because it’s true and awesome and I love GIF images.

 FLIRTING 

What I think I look like:

What I actually look like:

Haha. Happy Munday. Also, Happy Eggs Benedict Day – true story.

Obviously my spreadsheet is woefully out of date, and I’m sure one of these days I’ll get around to updating it, but for now…whatever. I did venture to one of the newer spots in town this weekend: STG Trattoria on W. Paces Ferry in the same complex as Flywheel and Dry Bar. It’s really good! K and I shared a Nature Salad, which really was full of nature: radishes, beets, carrots…more nature than I usually prefer, frankly, but it was lightly dressed and we wanted something crunchy and green, so it served its purpose. Then we shared the Spinach, Proscuitto, Mushroom, Parmesan, Bechamel pizza, which was amazing. My favorite part was definitely the bechamel…just kidding – I don’t know what that is, but it made my pizza awesome. There are lots of neat things about STG, from the wine-bottle lined entry way, to the u-shaped dining bar that kind of focuses on the huge super-hot ovens that they cook that pizza in. It’s run by the same guy who does Bocado – Brian Lewis – and he’s got Joshua Hopkins of Abbatoir (LOVE) and Adam Waller of Sotto Sotto (ALSO LOVE) in the kitchen. I think this place will only improve over time, but it will also be very loud when it’s crowded – not shocking given that dining at Bocado is like playing a screaming match of tennis. Word to the wise: be very specific when you order your bottle of wine, lest you end up with a $54 one as opposed to a $29 one…oh yeah – the extensive wine list is all sold at a retail prices so none of that pesky 200% restaurant mark-up. BBT says: go forth and dine. Two forks up.

I ought to start taking pictures of my food now that I am with iPhone, which I am absolutely loving. I’ve been terribly busy the last few days, so I don’t feel like I’ve totally acquainted myself with it…much to my dismay, the manual was not that 50 page booklet like most devices, but some very simple and abbreviated fold-out pamphlet. I kind of feel like Apple threw me in the deep end without any floaties…

*Pizza for everybody! – Rebecca, if you’re reading this, I did it for you….long live Oz 2k3!

Short but sweet, no? I’m slowly but surely getting back into the swing of the blogosphere. Do your part and eat some hollondaise today. TTFN!

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Guess who’s back.

Posted by AllieB on April 12, 2012

Oh hey. It’s been over two months since I last wrote. Why, you ask? I’m not entirely sure why…but once one week goes by, and then another, and then five more, it gets real difficult to get back into things. Excuses, excuses…I have been overwhelmed by fan outrage, however, regarding BBT’s not-so-justified hiatus, so thanks for that. Sorry I made you mad, but sorry I’m not sorry you’ve made me feel loved. Anyway, for reals, lots of things happened that aided and abetted my absence…por ejemplo:

Tina and Kirk got married in Charleston…awesome weekend. A real highlight was the toast Jennifer and I gave at the Rehearsal Dinner, as well as the kickass 80′s band at the reception. I highly recommend going with a genre band, especially one where the singers have poofy perms and wear tight pants. It is the Ultimate Dance Party. The wedding, as you can see below, took place at the somewhat picturesque Legare-Waring House just outside of Charleston. I mean, I guess it was kind of attractive…ish.

Congrats to Tina and Kirk Adams!!! Salud.

Then, my sister Charlotte married Stanton here in Atlanta. I have to say, we throw a pretty great party…it was a wonderful weekend and I got to see all kinds of family that I never get to see, and we laughed and danced and ate and drank and everyone was very, very merry.

From top left: Gaylen, Allie, Jo, Char at welcoming party – we heart spray tans…bridesmaid luncheon…Rehearsal Dinner


We clean up nice, don’t we?

From top: Char and Stanton with Grandma…the most beautiful bride eva…cousins!!

Congrats to Charlotte and Stanton Maines!! Prost.

Let’s touch on a few other things:

- I am a HUGE fan of Flywheel, which just opened up in Atlanta. It’s a really aggressive spin class featuring very loud music and instructors who yell a lot – but in a good, motivating way. I even won the class the first time I took it…I have subsequently not performed so well, but it’s fun to have the competitive aspect of the “power board” where you can see how fast and far you go. I like that they give you the proper spinning shoes, also. Conversations you will likely overhear before/after Flywheel include: “So we’re headed down to Rosemary on Friday…John is already down there playing golf..” and “My shopper at Neiman’s called about the Cavalli I asked about…” and “I just got myself injected with all kinds of crap and now my face looks like it can blink itself, what do you think?” Ok, maybe not that last one, but you get my drift…there is excellent people watching at Flywheel. BBT highly recommends the entire experience.

-Jessica Simpson has yet to give birth. This scientific marvel truly makes my head explode, as I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW SHE IS STILL PREGNANT, but there’s still 8 more days til we meet…whatever the H it is that emerges from her. Listen, I was an 11 lb 2 oz baby, which I get is quite large – in fact, it is more than the total combined weight of Hilary and Norah when they were born – but this is completely ridiculous. Also, I’d like to note that she is serving as a wedding attendant in the pic below…can we all agree that if someone is this grossly ginormous pregnant, that maybe they can sit out on the bridesmaid duties? I mean, it’s not going to be good for photos. If I were J Simps, I’d hide under a rock – boulder? – until I gave birth.

However, something has happened that trumps BOTH my best friend and sister getting married…something that that will irrevocably alter my life forever and ever…

I got an iPhone. It’s arriving via FedEx today. I. Am. SO. EXCITED. I’ve already started accumulating apps. Please, share with me your favorites…and not like Instagram and other mainstream ones, but obscure, cool ones I need to have…and get ready to be dominated in Words with Friends.

Alright, that’s more than enough for now. I just wanted to say hey…hey.

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