Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘tunes’

An Open Letter to the Internet

Posted by AllieB on November 13, 2014

I am mad at the internet. Between Taylor Swift’s new album and Kim Kardashian’s oily photo shoot, I am actually feeling feelings of legit anger. I am  unwittingly in the know about every single moment of Taylor’s life and am somehow now intimately acquainted Kim’s nether regions. I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW OR SEE ANY OF THAT. The over-exposure and inexhaustible self-promotion of these two women and their “art” really bothers me. I don’t follow Taylor Swift or Kim Kardashian on any form of social media, but they are unavoidable – from TIME Magazine to every single pop culture news outlet – and I want out. What’s more: I want the option to opt out. I feel like the internet has taken away my right to choose.

That said, I’m also a little mad at Taylor Swift. Promoting a new album is a musician’s job. You give interviews, you go on tour, you give free shows on morning news programs and appear on magazine covers. You tweet and you post on Instagram and you get your fans excited. Taylor Swift invited fans TO HER HOUSE for cookies. Taylor Swift inked a deal with the CITY OF NEW YORK to be its global ambassador even though she moved here in March. March of 2014. Speaking of, I’d like to note that Taylor Swift’s New York is that of the .0000007% and bless the tweens from Middle America who think their TriBeCa loft and black SUVs are but a Greyhound ride away. And although the entire music industry has imbibed the kool-aid served up at Taylor ‘s house parties, giving her album 5 star reviews across the board, I can’t bring myself to listen to a single song or watch the new music video that’s getting all the hype – I won’t even link you to it, I am standing strong!

And I’m always mad at Kim Kardashian. I think KimK is actually a robot and definitely has butt implants and is dead inside and I’m sure is very nice but only because she was programmed that way and her motherboard can only handle a very limited range of emotion. She is what’s wrong with everything that is going wrong.

While I do take issue with both Taylor and Kim personally – clearly – I am more more frustrated with the bigger picture. The ebola frenzy of recent weeks really annoyed me, too, but even coverage of that has waned significantly. And I’m not some highbrow consumer – believe you me, I’d much rather click thru on an article about 17 tips for getting ready after a sweaty workout-minus the shower over one about Vladimir Putin and something about the Ukraine, but that is my choice. The obsessive and ceaseless nature of documenting and reporting Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian has forcibly burdened me with information I did not want or seek out, and therein lies my main issue. I also recognize that resistance against these two is futile – case in point: I am writing about them right now – and it’s clear to me I have but one option: I must move to Appalachia. The End.

OK I feel much better, and I don’t even feel bad because I know that TSwizz would just Shake It Off saying “Hater’s gonna hate!” while cashing a check for gazillion dollars, and KimK can’t feel anything stronger than “slightly perturbed” so no harm, no foul.

I do realize the irony of a tirade against the internet…on the internet…but no one stopped to listen when I set up my soap box in Bryant Park.

My apologies to MelBoo and KReav for this outcry against Taylor Swift, but you’ve gotta tell your girl to pipe down.

What’s for lunch?

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Today > all the other days

Posted by AllieB on March 20, 2014

Happy First Day of Spring! I mean that sincerely, without any irony.

I walked 3.7 miles home from work on Tuesday evening: it was a balmy 40 degrees, I had a horrible case of office eyes and was in dire need of fresh air, plus my credit card may or may not have been at The Randolph in Nolita since the Friday previous. It took me about 70 mins, start to finish, and I made my way thru a lot of tunes and even a few thoughts.

walking home and tunes

 The thoughts I’ll keep to myself…although I don’t think I had any between Madison Sq Park and Houston – I truly cannot account for a single moment of those 30-odd blocks. It always weirds me out when that happens.

As I mentioned earlier, Adult Allie left her card at the bar on Fri, and it stayed posted up there for four full days before I finally got around to retrieving it. What’s remarkable to me is that, in the time we were apart, I managed to use it just as much if not more than usual, including 3 or 4 orders off Seamless (3-4x), an Amazon item (obviously), and these from Shopbop (Mom, I can justify these to you in a separate conversation). Thanks, Internet, for storing my payment methods and facilitating/enabling/abetting my one-click shopping habit. I love hate lovehatelove the Internet.

In this week’s “Legitimately Useful Information” segment, I share with you some Google hacks I learned from my new favorite site, Refinery29 – the article has 10, and here are my favorites:

You know when you’re trying to tell someone about a song, and you kind of know the name of it but you’re missing a vital word? Simply insert an * for the word you don’t know, and Goog does the rest:

Shake ya Tailfeather

The other one I like, because I am forever wondering how to say things in various languages, is to add “translate” before the phrase in question and then the language you’re wondering about at the end. This is better explained via image, per the below:

where is the bathroom swahili

Ambapo ni bafuni? I am ready for my visit to the Congo!

I’ve made jokes about this in the past, but y’all…could Culinary Allie be more than a figment of my imagination?? In the past couple of weeks I have handily whipped up a number of delicious concoctions, and other people have eaten these creations and not a single person suffered from any kind of poisoning or death. When is the next Top Chef audition?

look whos cooking Baked Marinaded Tomatoes with Sauteed Spinach and Cheese (credit: Swedge’s Pinterest); Top Sirloin cooked to rare-medium perfection in my skillet grill pan, accompanied by bottleS, apparently, of Malbec and a lovely view; chocolate chip cookie dough from scratch

Who even needs pasta?? Me. I need pasta. T-minus 30 days.

WHERE.IS.THE.PLANE. WHERE IS THE PLANE!?!?! Oh, maybe Australia. Nope, scratch that – it’s in The Bermuda Triangle.

In an effort to curb my burgeoning gambling problem, I chose not to fill out a bracket for sports. I look forward to heckling those who lose and sucking up to those who are winning out…it’s all about the Benjamins (yours, not mine).

When I use a lot of pictures I therefore feel the need to use fewer words. TGIT! Today > all the other days. One little known but entirely true fact about the First Day of Spring is that After Work Drinks are mandatory… soooo AWD’s for everybody! MC, try to keep it together til I get there….

P.S. When I read this I nearly trashed today’s entire post because YES: How The First Day of Spring Feels in NYC

We are just so happy and want to be outside….

And eat Brunch outdoors.

How The First Day Of Spring Feels Like In NYC

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Not Cool, Bro

Posted by AllieB on February 27, 2014

Hello! Let’s jump right in. For you today I’ve compiled a list of what’s tickling my fancy, what makes me very angry, and then two things about which I am ambivalent. It’s a little newsworthy, oddly heavy on tunes, and now I’m hungry. Guys, I’m in a great mood – join me, won’t you?

Right Up My Alley:

  • Taco Bell for the WIN:

taco bell waffle taco

  • I watched the first episode of True Detective real time back in January, and I was like nope, do not want. But then I kept seeing all this internet chatter about it and I knew I had to try try again. Mission: accomplished – as of Sunday I’m all caught up and am waiting with breath that is bated for the final two episodes. WHO IS THE YELLOW KING. Also, Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson are badasses – I think both of them are doing some of their very best work.

ben and jerrys core

  • I’ve become more than a little obsessed with my skincare regimen and have spent a lot of money time and money effort trying to figure out what works best for moi. I’m not yet prepared to endorse any products as they’re still in the testing phase (I’m trying to track changes like they do in magazine ads) but there is one item I can share. I am #blessed not to have pimple-prone skin, but blemishes can happen to anyone…next time you wake up to a red terror, take action with EradiKate Treatment by Kate Somerville. You just dab a teeny little bit on the spot a couple times throughout the day and it will be significantly smaller, if not gone completely, in 12 hours. Seriously. This is good stuff.
  • I don’t know what’s going on here, but my fancies are definitely tickled – this mini pony’s all, “hey man, check out my fairisle knit sweater” (CKB)

fairisle friend

  • The Oscars are Sunday. I am excited about: Ellen as host; what Jessica Biel, Kate Hudson, and Naomi Watts will be wearing; Jared Leto – LOTS of Jared Leto, please; and counting the pile of money I’ll get when my bracket wins out in the Oscar pool. 
  • BBT’s Throwback Music Video of the Week (also a thing): November Rain by Guns N’ Roses. I know we’ve all seen it, but you need to see it again.  I’ve recently added this to my “Walkin” playlist, and it was all I could do to not take out my air guitar in Whole Foods the other night. Just kidding, I don’t play the air guitar. But it’s SO good, and they don’t make music videos like that anymore…I’m looking at you, Kimye.

Not Cool, Bro: 

  • You know what you did.

my will to live 2_Page_1

This might be teeny bit dramatic.

On Notice:

  • Bitcoin. WTF is Bitcoin?
  • A flask bracelet by Cynthia Rowley. A hip flask is an old school tradition – I mean, it’s probably not always appropriate, but they’ve been around forever and your grandfather probably has one. Plus,  it’s not like you’re not walking around masquerading your hidden booze as a piece of jewelry, ya know? Although, this thing on Gameday could be genius…hmm…I think if I were in college I might consider it, but anyone out of school for more than 5 years – might be time to ask yourself if everything’s all right.

cynthia rowley flask bracelet

Love a good listicle.

In other news:

This map shows each state’s favorite band, measured using a method I don’t entirely understand. Full disclosure: I had to Google Georgia’s favorite band…though that should surprise no one. Ohio’s favorite is somewhat ironic, no?

favorite band by state

What Does Your Favorite Athens Bar Say About You? – this is seriously flawed. I haven’t heard of many and really beg to differ on a few others…

Flanagan’s – you’re a socialite

If you came downtown hoping to “run into” your ex, you’ll be posted up at Flan’s. He’s here. Everyone’s here.

The passage of time allows for some changes, I realize, but no. Just – no. Also, the phrase posted up at Flan’s makes me want to light this person on fire.

You’ll be pleased to know that I neither hugged nor sat on any unsuspecting strangers this week – that’s seven full days of keeping my hands/derriere to myself. Way to go, Allie.

Tomorrow is March 1. Fingers crossed for a spike in morale and overall will to live!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

BBT’s The Allie Awards

Posted by AllieB on January 16, 2014

If you’re reading this, then you already know: it’s Thursday.

Award season is upon us! I find the Oscars to be a little high-brow for my taste, so I’ve created my own awards: BBT’s The Allie Awards. Just like Lee Daniels did with The Butler, I had to add the BBT part as I did not want to be confused with (or sued by) the Allie Awards in Atlanta which honor excellence in event design, planning, and production. One of their awards is “Best Buffet” – I would’ve been really good at awarding that award. Award. And now, without further ado!

Best Use of Double Sided Tape: Amy Adams, American Hustle. By the end of the movie I wanted to climb into the screen and offer her a turtleneck

amy adams american hustle

could she V any hotter….

Bleakest Film Location: The Prisoners. Conyers, GA is not so scenic.

Best Film Location: Hunger Games: Catching Fire. The Atlanta History Center, on the other hand, is very scenic.

Best Eastern European Accent: Steve Carrell, Despicable Me: 2. I love these movies.

Hottest Actress Who is 23, Australian, and Plays in an Ice Hockey League for Fun: Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wall Street (read that – I was all set to be like, “LAME” but she is a delight!)

margot robbie

oh hey

Best Soundtrack: American Hustle. It’s legit. I’ve always kind of wished I was around in the 70’s…I think it’s my decade-that-should-have-been.

In Memory of the One Who Kept Us Up At Night…RIP Paul Walker: You’re the hottest QB there ever was.

paul walker varsity blues

My awards > The Academy’s.

#NewYorkLife: On Sunday I needed to get from TriBeCa to the West Village, something that is very easily accomplished by hopping on the 1 train right by my apartment. Very easily accomplished unless, of course, it’s No Pants Day on the subway. The only thing worse than a bunch of weirdos riding the New York City subway without their pants is nothing; there is nothing worse. I wound up using a Citibike instead – in spite of strong headwinds, no gloves, and silly flats (I am my own hero) – and, just to be on the safe side, I took a cab home.*

*I have very strict rules about when I can and cannot take cabs. Said rules are constantly changing in accordance to weather, my outfit, time of day, and level of laziness, but they are rigid and ironclad once I choose to apply them.

#NewYorkLife: Yesterday I took a yoga class after work. Due to various variables, I had to bring all my stuff with me to the office. Super-sized satchel + gym bag + YOGA MAT makes for an exciting morning rush-hour commute – lots of slinging things around, and I know I drilled a few people in the peepers. Talk about losing friends and alienating people: I sort of felt like her. Namaste.

worst lady on an airplane SNL

oh yes, and I had on a neck pillow #commutercomfort

Some housekeeping: I updated my Book List this week, and I removed my Atlanta Restaurant Guide. It was time, y’all. If anyone really wants to see a list of where to dine in Atlanta as of July 2012, by all means email me and I’ll send you a copy. Or you can look at it here.

Enjoy what I hope is a long weekend like mine. I’m looking at some chillaxin’, catching up on movies/tv, lbcha’s AND MHM’s bdizzles… Oh, woof – and SoulCycle. Gag me with a spoon. TGIT!

P.S. I’d be remiss to not share these “otherwordly” pics taken of NYC yesterday…this place is the coolest.

NYC fog

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Good to Know Vol. III

Posted by AllieB on November 7, 2013

Oh hey. I don’t think there was a Good to Know Vol I or II, but I wanted to give myself a head start. Herewith: some pearls of wisdom, observant observations, and a corgi. And a Hilary.

1. Happy Birthday, HILARY. Have y’all met Allary? She is Allie + Hilary. This freaks me out in a big way.

Alhi

 I feel like my eyes are messed up. What is happening. DO NOT WANT!

2. Jason Isbell’s album Southeastern: buy it.

3. If you ever tire of lighting your money on fire or throwing twenties in the garbage, by all means spend some time among the items displayed in the Sephora check-out line. It will have the same affect.

4. There’s a reason southern women are so pretty and non-weathered: it’s because they aren’t ravaged by northeastern winters every year. Winter is way harsh on the epidermis, and I’m already on the offensive. First, Yu-Be Moisturizing Skin Cream. I’m a sucker for all-purpose moisturizers, especially ones made in other countries without the pesky FDA to approve them – this one comes from Japan. It’s not at all greasy and kind of reminds me of Carmex without being too Carmex-y. Good for hands, face, cuts, burns, etc etc etc. Second, Benefit Watt’s Up. Good bye ghoulish, ghostly winter pallor – helloooo glowing snow bunny! It’s a highlighter for your face. Use with blush/bronzer and you’ll glow like a worm.

collage makeup

Come at me, Motha Nature

5. I originally had my your/you’re grammar peeve for #5, but I’ve decided to let it go. Your welcome.

6. Kale. UGH I am so over kale. But even I know how dumb it would be to not eat it on principle (I have principles?!), and my preferred method of consumption is via chip. Kale chips are the bomb.edu. I don’t eat them because they are nutritious; I eat them because they are delicious. But heed me on this: said chips should only be consumed in the presence of someone whom you trust implicitly, someone you know will say, “yo, you’ve got something in your teeth” because, after this leafy snack, you will have a whole garden of kale in your chompers. What’s not in your teeth will be on your shirt – this can be hard to spot if you’re wearing a dark color, just FYI. Maybe no kale chips on a first date.

7. I was the only female in my subway car this morning. I counted 35 dudes, give or take, and then me. That’s weird, right?? I thought that was weird.

8. I cannot say enough wonderful things about the author Bill Bryson. I realize that his books, on on the outset, might not seem terribly exciting, but they ARE – he can make boring, random, pointless crap absolutely delightful. I just started his new book, One Summer: America, 1927 and not only have I already laughed outloud many times, I have also learned a lot. I love laughing and learning! Nerd.

9. Do you follow Humans of New York? DO it. Do it now: Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, buy the book. It is my favorite thing on the internet.

10. The 33 Dumbest Things That Have Ever Happened is pretty entertaining. Upsetting, but entertaining.

Jack's best friend's emergency:

11. I’m only on 11?

12. THIS corgi. I just keep looking at him and smiling. So regal.

corgi

 Sprawled. Credit: FlemBot

13. Speaking of ole FlemBot, I wound up dressing up for Halloween after all.While I am not a particular fan of Grateful Dead, I felt okay dressing up as Sugar Magnolia because I know some of the words to the song. Plus, I love a floral domepiece. Halloween in NYC is a spectacle. I feel like everyday could be Halloween in this city, but on October 31 people achieve a whole new level of freak.

scarlett begonias sugar magnolia

Scarlet Begonias & Sugar Magnolia, y’all

14. Make this on Sunday and have it for lunch all week: Fall Orzo Salad with Butternut Squash, Bleu Cheese, and Pomegranate Seeds. The recipe doesn’t mention the pomegranate seeds, that’s BBT’s Top Secret Ingredient. And by BBT’s I mean Fresh & Co., the place where I purchased the salad yesterday. It was so delicious and it really does seem easy to make, so I goog’ed the recipe and that one’s pretty close. I don’t know what pepitas are – perhaps use pumpkin seeds instead.

Cooking tips are not really under my purview…I should probably leave the recipe talk to the 4,968,999 cooking blogs out there. Hey, look – I have a camera and I heated up some pre-made chocolate chip cookies! People should see this! And don’t EVEN get me started on the fashion let’s-take-a-picture-of-me-in-my-outfit sites…..I feel like, since I have a blog (www.baxterbarktwice.com), I have free rein to judge other people who have blogs. I gotta say, I’m pretty unimpressed. The Bill of Rights is great and I do love America, but there are a lot of people whose right to Freedom of Speech should absolutely be revoked.

15. I love a good cityscape, and NYC never lets me down.

nyc sunrise

Yesterday morning’s sunrise. Prob spent longer taking/enhancing/posting this pic than I did actually running. #priorities

16. Sixteen Candles, Sweet Sixteen, 16 Handles….ok yeah, I’m done.whiteflag

I hope you all have really great Thursdays. Me, I have a packed night of plans – a quick stop at the salon for some personal primping, an art show, dinner at Pylos with some gal pals…you know, just L-I-V-I-N’

Baxter, out

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , , | 4 Comments »