Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘FYI’

You can quote me on that

Posted by AllieB on February 5, 2015

Dryuary is a phenomenon wherein people, after a gluttonous holiday season, choose to abstain from all forms of alcohol for the month of January. I applaud this endeavor though don’t necessarily condone it. Me, I chose to participate in a different yet totally similar practice of not writing BBT for the month of January – I imagine it was equally beneficial to my health. So there was that, then the small issue of having nothing to say, and, of course: winter. Winter is the reason for everything.

garbage

 They never showed the slush and garbage on Sex and the City

I’ve recharged the batts, and I’m trying to get back in the groove – and not just re: ze blog, but life in general. I’m going to Flywheel; pasta and pizza are for Sundays only*; I am finally buying wine by the case instead of by the bottle; and I got a hair cut last night. I hate getting my hair cut and have put it off for months (next time I have ends like that please stage an intervention, or Buff, can you just say: “Allie, go get your hair cut toDAY – it looks awful have some self-respect”), and it occurred to me, as I reveled in the best scalp massage EVER, that if our world leaders had their scalps massaged daily by someone with hands like Irena, we’d all get along a whole lot better. You can quote me on that.

*Unless I feel like having pizza on a Friday, which I can do because I am a grown-up capable of making my own decisions, and I am not lactose intolerant nor do I have a gluten allergy. Pizza for everybody!

What was that about having nothing to say? Here is a selection of things that have struck my fancy lately – and, in keeping with my theme of no theme at all, this list is random AF.

~ WE WON!! To be honest, I was my own house divided watching the Superbowl – Marshawn Lynch is my new favorite person, and Gronk was starting to get on my nerves, but…in the end I stood by TB for the W.

tom and fam

Can I get arrested for this?

El Yucateca hot sauce. Thank you, MC, for introducing me to my new favorite condiment: try it on these nachos (I made them for the Superbowl and they were a hit – Tom’s not the only one who scores touchdowns!), maybe, or on your eggs. Or on your cheesy broccoli quinoa casserole. Win/Win/Win.

~ I’ve done the research; I did the legwork; I have a winner – the best mascara is: They’re Real! by Benefit. CC: ERock.

~ I’m not sure why this guy, Mark Manson, who just turned 30, is an authority on the life-lessons he churns out, but he clearly thinks he is and I guess that’s enough for me. He also doesn’t have the condescending, holier-than-thou tone you find on Elite Daily and those other websites where people basically write essays to justify their own bad decisions, and, in turn, make the reader feel like the one with shortcomings. Don’t send me any crap from Elite Daily. I especially enjoyed this piece from last month: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

Tim doesn't give af

I wanna #belikeTim

~ Empire. This show, described as a “red-hot hip-hop soap opera”, is somehow really good, and soon you’re going to be the only person not watching it, so you might as well give it a try. Except you, Mom, you can sit this one out. Also – Blacklist. I’m a little late to this party, but I am HERE and I’m all in.

~ Wrangler, the Today Show puppy, is cuter than your average puppy. He might be the cutest puppy ever.

WRANGLER

COME HERE TO ME. Join Wrangler and me on Insta: @wranglertoday

The End. And if you didn’t like today’s post please refer to the above rendering of Tim. TGIT!

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10 Things About Fall & Other Stuff

Posted by AllieB on October 9, 2014

It’s fall, y’all! Fall, according to the Goog, is the most popular of all the seasons, so here are 10 things about fall and other stuff, then I added two more items at the end so I guess 12 things total. I try to mix it up; BBT is NOT some basic fall-loving betch who only talks about new sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes.

1. This is me not talking about pumpkin spice lattes – never had one; I don’t care; you do you but maybe consider the sugar content

2. TV is not only back, but there are a lot of new shows to check out: How to Get Away with Murder premiered two weeks ago, and, besides its annoying name (HTGAWM henceforth), BBT highly recommends. Marry Me has such potential (Penny from Happy Endings! Ron from Party Down!) and, I’m embarrassed to say this, Selfie might not suck… Homeland wrapped up some very tired story lines (smell ya later Brody) and the season premiere shows much promise for good TV – just so long as Carrie never touches her child, or anyone else’s, ever again. Lastly, I watched the first episode of The Affair last night – I am IN. It caught my eye earlier this year when I heard about the cast (Pacey Witter! Maura Tierney! Jimmy McNulty from the Wire!) and, based on the first epi, it is everything I hoped it would be.

3. I got stung – stung bad – by a bee in Idaho last weekend. I hope it died.

sun valley

Idaho – who knew? (I know other people knew, but I didn’t) CONGRATS Nandi & Duncan!

4. 31 Dog Reactions for Everyday Situations – this is perfect, please click thru (#’s 1, 2, 9, 12, 14, 16 – 25, 31)

5. I’m not implying that all kids raised in NYC are brats, but I have observed a heightened level of the ridiculous when it comes to parenting up here. Case in point: I was recently at my local Whole Foods doing my daily shopping of only things I needed right that moment (nothing if not practical!), and I noticed a father and his two children, a boy and a girl both under age of 4, in the midst of truly epic meltdown. The girl, the younger of the two, had collapsed on the ground and was crying that especially aggressive silent cry where her mouth was open and her body was heaving but no sound was coming out. Not to be overlooked, the boy had wrapped himself around his father’s leg while he cried a more subdued whimper but with double the snot and tears. Dad, to his credit, wasn’t freaking out but I think this is likely because he’d checked out entirely to his mental happy place. “Woof” I thought, as I skirted by them to get in line, “I wonder how much longer he’s going to let this go on..” I also may have thought things like, “get your sh*t together little girl” and “can someone please wipe this kid’s nose”

Finally, something yanked Dad back to reality – maybe it was that his daughter hadn’t taken a proper breath in like a minute – and suddenly he was totally, 100% over it. His eyes darkened as he inhaled deeply….”PENELOPE! ALVIN! THAT. IS. IT! When we get home….NO soy dream for you.”

Aaaaand you lost me. Hey, buddy, FYI: the moment you named your kids Pompous and Arrogant you gave them license to behave like jerks. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that one or both had some sort of dairy allergy, explaining why soy dream was the most glorious treat in which they’re allowed to indulge thus the absolute worst thing he could take away…but with names like that, it’s hard. My advice? Sign the girl up for soccer, the boy up for football, and cancel all lessons involving wind and string instruments. There’s still hope.

*Note: when I have kids one day and name them Philomena and Astrid and they go mental at the grocery store you can remind me of this post.

**Y’all know I’d never name my kids that.

***Confession: I played the Alto Sax in third grade. It was a risky move but I pulled it off. Penelope – not so much.

****I don’t know anyone named Penelope or Alvin, do I?

6. Jimmy Fallon + EW! = watch this.

7. My Father, The Hero (?)

Just kidding. Dude, that's too much...and when this pot calls you black, you better recognize

Dude, that’s too much…and when this pot calls you black, you better recognize

8. All the hilar Insta accounts you need to follow, give or take a couple – there’s really something for everyone. You should check out that blog regardless, @AshHess is doing good stuff over there. Thank you, Witty & Pretty!

9. Brush up on history with a healthy side of scandal and intrigue with After Camelot, a sweeping biography of the whole Kennedy family – there are lot of them, so it’s long, but you can breeze right through it.

10. This week in That Is Brand New Information: Todd Gurley is a Badass

Georgia running back Todd Gurley completes 50-yard pass (GIF)

I could watch these all day.

Here's the GIF of Georgia's Todd Gurley running like Marshawn Lynch against Clemson.  -- (Via @SBNation)

***UPDATE 10/10: I posted this yesterday before the TRAGIC news that TGII had been suspended. Why God. Why. I am 100% #teamtodd and still think he’s one of the good ones – he’ll get thru this and go on to have an amazing career and keep a clean record all the while, of that I am sure, and in the meantime us Georgia fans will have to hunker down and deal with the hard knocks that we should by now be used to/expect. TEAM TODD!!!

Bonus #11: I needed a crisp white button down to go with my outfit yesterday, but I couldn’t find the iron because we don’t own one, so I used my straightener instead – it totally worked! A tip from me to you: best to remove the shirt then iron as opposed to keeping on shirt whilst wielding a piping hot wand of heat near your skin.

Super Bonus #12: I think we already knew as much, but I asked Siri the other night who’s the fairest of them all, and…well:

fairest one of all

And there you are – a BBT for your Thursday. Boom.

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A Change of Address

Posted by AllieB on June 28, 2012

Gather round, y’all – BBT’s got news: I’ve decided to move to New York. True story – come Labor Day, bye bye ATL and helloooo Big Apple. I’ve got lodging sorted out (at least temporarily – and it’s not here), so now all I need to focus on is that pesky job thing. This is where you come in – put your ear to the ground and let’s find me employment in NYC. Okgreatthanks.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to be all mopey or anything…at least not right away, and the reason I’m announcing it now is that I know people residing in NYC read this, and I also know that the world wide web is an excellent networking tool, so I’m making use of my assets. I am, however, going to compile a bucket list of things to do before I no longer declare ATL as my current city on Facebook – here’s what I’ve got so far:

  • Climb Stone Mountain. Haven’t done this since I was like 6 and I want to do it again. So far I’ve recruited Fleming, as long as it’s not hot…so I might need back-up.
  • Clermont Lounge. Come 1 AM don’t let me come up with some lame excuse as to why I can’t go – take me kicking and screaming. I’m 90% sure I haven’t been before – sacrelig, I know.
  • Dine in the Sun Dial Restaurant. Possible I’ve never done this either…which also seems wrong.
  • Go to Decatur – maybe even take MARTA to Decatur? K and A have done this…and if they’ve done it, any excuse I conjure up is irrelevant (not because y’all don’t do stuff, but I think we all know where you (and most Atlantans) stand on MARTA)

Et cetera. Hopefully I will be a better city citizen in NYC than I am here. Besides my knowledge of back roads and dive bars, I’m apparently not so Atlanta-savvy…

So that’s exciting!!! BBT goes to the Big Apple. Who knows what will happen….Sloane, let’s be besties and maybe I can right your coattails to literary success??

I just tried to segue off into a new subject about my massive crush on Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, but that’s going to have to wait – putting my news on BBT just made it very real…and now I’m even more excited, so I’ll keep it short and sweet. I do want to apologize to those whom I should have told personally. I owe you better, and I’m sorry, but this all came about pretty quickly, and I wanted to give you plenty of time to plan my going away party get my name out there re: employment…

Lady Liberty and I have already been in touch – it’s good to know the right people. (Credit: who else. Hilary.)

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A day late and a dollar short

Posted by AllieB on January 24, 2012

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, no?

Well, I totally dropped the ball on this one: the “First Place Passion” – a tour of first homes which is part of the annual Cathedral Antiques Show – happened on Sunday, January 22. I think I thought I had more than one opportunity to check it out…I really need to start reading beyond the headlines. My nearest and dearest Nancy and Ryan Duffey’s home was featured, as well as Clary Bosbyshell’s and Nicky and Jack Arnold’s. Per the account of the always reliable and ever so tasteful Carol Harrell, the houses looked awesome. Neat, I’m sure they did. Nancy, I’ll come over for some wine this week and you can take me on my own personal tour…in a non-weird way, of course.

Good news: you can still see the Inspiration House – here’s that info:

Premier – Saturday, January 28
Tours Sunday, January 29 | Thursday, February 2 – Sunday, February 5
Thursday, February 9 – Sunday, February 12

The Inspiration House, located on the grounds of The Cathedral of St. Philip, is for anyone who has a passion for design that elevates the day-to-day living experience. Twenty up-and-coming designers showcase their creative talent in a home that can inspire ideas for the modern family. The Inspiration House is included in the Tour of Homes.
Donation: $10 at the door without Tour of Homes or Antiques Show tickets.

More info here. Nancy Duffey and Allison Harper are two of the twenty designers showcased in the House – they did the nursery. IN FACT, check out this article I just stumbled upon – way to go, you two! So talented and famous.

AND you can still attend this event, which is not your grandmother’s antiques show but an actually fun and lively partay, hosted by some seriously serious heavy hitters (purchase tickets here):

I am cranky. First of all, I realized last night that I have no plans to leave the country this year, and I’m really bummed. I know – first world problems and all that – but this is just bleak…this time last year I was preparing to go to Pakistan. That was a great trip. NOT that I’m saying I wish I was returning to Pakistan – I’m pretty sure such a jaunt would be strongly ill-advised by the CIA travel website – but I wish I was going somewhere…Secondly, I woke up this morning to the breaking news that Starbucks is going to start serving beer and wine. Oh, really, 11Alive? Breaking news? I beg to differ. May I direct you to this entry from October 19 2010, which is one of the least read posts in BBT’s history – there are zero comments. This isn’t the first time I’ve scooped the local news.*

G-force and I at the Badashi Mosque in Lahore. I will likely share more pics in the coming weeks as I reminisce – I know you are all waiting with breath that is baited for a shot of me in my salwar kameez. Good times.

*Upon further research, I learned that Atlanta is one of two locations nationwide that was chosen to launch the beer and wine, the other being Southern California. I guess that is kind of newsworthy. I will acquiesce on this point, but I still say I scooped the news.

APU^, writing BBT has cured me of any and all crankiness and I’m back to breezy :)

^Hilary, that means “as per usual”

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

I’m in a glass case of emotion: the story of BBT

Posted by AllieB on December 8, 2011

Today’s inspiration: the word “inspiration.”

My Idol Person I Like a Normal Amount: Sloane Crosley. Sloane is why Baxter Bark Twice is even extant; she is who I wish to be. I hope she doesn’t have a Google alert set up for her name and reads this. Actually, I hope she does. Hi, Sloane. Sloane has written two books: I Was Told There’d be Cake and How Did You Get This Number? Both are compilations of personal essays ranging in subject matter from bridesmaid woes to international travel to failed relationships and hot-off-the-truck furniture. She is really funny and frank and sometimes it seems like she takes the thoughts from my head, aligns them in an articulate and coherent manner, and writes them down. Pallison had the good fortune to run into Sloane on Sunday at a Barney’s Co-op in NYC. She co-opted (wordplay!) her in the dressing room, and absolutely spewed word vomit about how she and her friend Allie were her biggest fans, how we’re both friends with her on Facebook (true story), and how that line out of How Did You Get This Number, “it wasn’t as real as you thought it was” changed both of our lives. (Read the book. You’ll see what we mean.) Sloane, ever graceful, handled the situation with aplomb. Anyway, in an ideal world, BBT’s posts will parlay into longer, more personal essays, multiply several times in number, and become compilations that will be published. Fingers crossed!

Sorry for saying “spewed word vomit” with regard to your actions, Pal. I probably could have opted for a different choice of words – I didn’t, but I could have.

Person Whose Closet I Want:

Olivia Palermo. Gah.

The Movie From Which “Baxter Bark Twice” Originated: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Baxter is the name of Ron’s dog, and, after Baxter is drop-kicked over a bridge (see below), he goes missing. Later in the movie, Ron receives a call from someone who he obviously assumes is his lost dog, and says, “Hello? Who’s there? Hello? Who is this? Baxter… is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee…” See? My last name is Baxter, so it makes sense. Team Newnan can take credit for this moniker.

Weeeeeeeee!

So, that’s how that happened. I always assume that everyone knows why Baxter Bark Twice is called Baxter Bark Twice, but I suppose if you’ve never seen a movie or if you hate to laugh, you could very well have no idea. Glad I was able to clear things up. If you’re looking to kill some time, I highly recommend visiting IMDB and reading quotes from the movie. I could do this all day.

Veronica Corningstone: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.
Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker.
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry.
Ron Burgundy: Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?
Veronica Corningstone: Well, you have bad hair.

Ok, the end. Have a very thirsty Thursday!

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