Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘FYI’

10 Things About Fall & Other Stuff

Posted by AllieB on October 9, 2014

It’s fall, y’all! Fall, according to the Goog, is the most popular of all the seasons, so here are 10 things about fall and other stuff, then I added two more items at the end so I guess 12 things total. I try to mix it up; BBT is NOT some basic fall-loving betch who only talks about new sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes.

1. This is me not talking about pumpkin spice lattes – never had one; I don’t care; you do you but maybe consider the sugar content

2. TV is not only back, but there are a lot of new shows to check out: How to Get Away with Murder premiered two weeks ago, and, besides its annoying name (HTGAWM henceforth), BBT highly recommends. Marry Me has such potential (Penny from Happy Endings! Ron from Party Down!) and, I’m embarrassed to say this, Selfie might not suck… Homeland wrapped up some very tired story lines (smell ya later Brody) and the season premiere shows much promise for good TV – just so long as Carrie never touches her child, or anyone else’s, ever again. Lastly, I watched the first episode of The Affair last night – I am IN. It caught my eye earlier this year when I heard about the cast (Pacey Witter! Maura Tierney! Jimmy McNulty from the Wire!) and, based on the first epi, it is everything I hoped it would be.

3. I got stung – stung bad – by a bee in Idaho last weekend. I hope it died.

sun valley

Idaho – who knew? (I know other people knew, but I didn’t) CONGRATS Nandi & Duncan!

4. 31 Dog Reactions for Everyday Situations – this is perfect, please click thru (#’s 1, 2, 9, 12, 14, 16 – 25, 31)

5. I’m not implying that all kids raised in NYC are brats, but I have observed a heightened level of the ridiculous when it comes to parenting up here. Case in point: I was recently at my local Whole Foods doing my daily shopping of only things I needed right that moment (nothing if not practical!), and I noticed a father and his two children, a boy and a girl both under age of 4, in the midst of truly epic meltdown. The girl, the younger of the two, had collapsed on the ground and was crying that especially aggressive silent cry where her mouth was open and her body was heaving but no sound was coming out. Not to be overlooked, the boy had wrapped himself around his father’s leg while he cried a more subdued whimper but with double the snot and tears. Dad, to his credit, wasn’t freaking out but I think this is likely because he’d checked out entirely to his mental happy place. “Woof” I thought, as I skirted by them to get in line, “I wonder how much longer he’s going to let this go on..” I also may have thought things like, “get your sh*t together little girl” and “can someone please wipe this kid’s nose”

Finally, something yanked Dad back to reality – maybe it was that his daughter hadn’t taken a proper breath in like a minute – and suddenly he was totally, 100% over it. His eyes darkened as he inhaled deeply….”PENELOPE! ALVIN! THAT. IS. IT! When we get home….NO soy dream for you.”

Aaaaand you lost me. Hey, buddy, FYI: the moment you named your kids Pompous and Arrogant you gave them license to behave like jerks. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that one or both had some sort of dairy allergy, explaining why soy dream was the most glorious treat in which they’re allowed to indulge thus the absolute worst thing he could take away…but with names like that, it’s hard. My advice? Sign the girl up for soccer, the boy up for football, and cancel all lessons involving wind and string instruments. There’s still hope.

*Note: when I have kids one day and name them Philomena and Astrid and they go mental at the grocery store you can remind me of this post.

**Y’all know I’d never name my kids that.

***Confession: I played the Alto Sax in third grade. It was a risky move but I pulled it off. Penelope – not so much.

****I don’t know anyone named Penelope or Alvin, do I?

6. Jimmy Fallon + EW! = watch this.

7. My Father, The Hero (?)

Just kidding. Dude, that's too much...and when this pot calls you black, you better recognize

Dude, that’s too much…and when this pot calls you black, you better recognize

8. All the hilar Insta accounts you need to follow, give or take a couple – there’s really something for everyone. You should check out that blog regardless, @AshHess is doing good stuff over there. Thank you, Witty & Pretty!

9. Brush up on history with a healthy side of scandal and intrigue with After Camelot, a sweeping biography of the whole Kennedy family – there are lot of them, so it’s long, but you can breeze right through it.

10. This week in That Is Brand New Information: Todd Gurley is a Badass

Georgia running back Todd Gurley completes 50-yard pass (GIF)

I could watch these all day.

Here's the GIF of Georgia's Todd Gurley running like Marshawn Lynch against Clemson.  -- (Via @SBNation)

***UPDATE 10/10: I posted this yesterday before the TRAGIC news that TGII had been suspended. Why God. Why. I am 100% #teamtodd and still think he’s one of the good ones – he’ll get thru this and go on to have an amazing career and keep a clean record all the while, of that I am sure, and in the meantime us Georgia fans will have to hunker down and deal with the hard knocks that we should by now be used to/expect. TEAM TODD!!!

Bonus #11: I needed a crisp white button down to go with my outfit yesterday, but I couldn’t find the iron because we don’t own one, so I used my straightener instead – it totally worked! A tip from me to you: best to remove the shirt then iron as opposed to keeping on shirt whilst wielding a piping hot wand of heat near your skin.

Super Bonus #12: I think we already knew as much, but I asked Siri the other night who’s the fairest of them all, and…well:

fairest one of all

And there you are – a BBT for your Thursday. Boom.

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A Change of Address

Posted by AllieB on June 28, 2012

Gather round, y’all – BBT’s got news: I’ve decided to move to New York. True story – come Labor Day, bye bye ATL and helloooo Big Apple. I’ve got lodging sorted out (at least temporarily – and it’s not here), so now all I need to focus on is that pesky job thing. This is where you come in – put your ear to the ground and let’s find me employment in NYC. Okgreatthanks.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to be all mopey or anything…at least not right away, and the reason I’m announcing it now is that I know people residing in NYC read this, and I also know that the world wide web is an excellent networking tool, so I’m making use of my assets. I am, however, going to compile a bucket list of things to do before I no longer declare ATL as my current city on Facebook – here’s what I’ve got so far:

  • Climb Stone Mountain. Haven’t done this since I was like 6 and I want to do it again. So far I’ve recruited Fleming, as long as it’s not hot…so I might need back-up.
  • Clermont Lounge. Come 1 AM don’t let me come up with some lame excuse as to why I can’t go – take me kicking and screaming. I’m 90% sure I haven’t been before – sacrelig, I know.
  • Dine in the Sun Dial Restaurant. Possible I’ve never done this either…which also seems wrong.
  • Go to Decatur – maybe even take MARTA to Decatur? K and A have done this…and if they’ve done it, any excuse I conjure up is irrelevant (not because y’all don’t do stuff, but I think we all know where you (and most Atlantans) stand on MARTA)

Et cetera. Hopefully I will be a better city citizen in NYC than I am here. Besides my knowledge of back roads and dive bars, I’m apparently not so Atlanta-savvy…

So that’s exciting!!! BBT goes to the Big Apple. Who knows what will happen….Sloane, let’s be besties and maybe I can right your coattails to literary success??

I just tried to segue off into a new subject about my massive crush on Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, but that’s going to have to wait – putting my news on BBT just made it very real…and now I’m even more excited, so I’ll keep it short and sweet. I do want to apologize to those whom I should have told personally. I owe you better, and I’m sorry, but this all came about pretty quickly, and I wanted to give you plenty of time to plan my going away party get my name out there re: employment…

Lady Liberty and I have already been in touch – it’s good to know the right people. (Credit: who else. Hilary.)

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , | 12 Comments »

A day late and a dollar short

Posted by AllieB on January 24, 2012

It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, no?

Well, I totally dropped the ball on this one: the “First Place Passion” – a tour of first homes which is part of the annual Cathedral Antiques Show – happened on Sunday, January 22. I think I thought I had more than one opportunity to check it out…I really need to start reading beyond the headlines. My nearest and dearest Nancy and Ryan Duffey’s home was featured, as well as Clary Bosbyshell’s and Nicky and Jack Arnold’s. Per the account of the always reliable and ever so tasteful Carol Harrell, the houses looked awesome. Neat, I’m sure they did. Nancy, I’ll come over for some wine this week and you can take me on my own personal tour…in a non-weird way, of course.

Good news: you can still see the Inspiration House – here’s that info:

Premier – Saturday, January 28
Tours Sunday, January 29 | Thursday, February 2 – Sunday, February 5
Thursday, February 9 – Sunday, February 12

The Inspiration House, located on the grounds of The Cathedral of St. Philip, is for anyone who has a passion for design that elevates the day-to-day living experience. Twenty up-and-coming designers showcase their creative talent in a home that can inspire ideas for the modern family. The Inspiration House is included in the Tour of Homes.
Donation: $10 at the door without Tour of Homes or Antiques Show tickets.

More info here. Nancy Duffey and Allison Harper are two of the twenty designers showcased in the House – they did the nursery. IN FACT, check out this article I just stumbled upon – way to go, you two! So talented and famous.

AND you can still attend this event, which is not your grandmother’s antiques show but an actually fun and lively partay, hosted by some seriously serious heavy hitters (purchase tickets here):

I am cranky. First of all, I realized last night that I have no plans to leave the country this year, and I’m really bummed. I know – first world problems and all that – but this is just bleak…this time last year I was preparing to go to Pakistan. That was a great trip. NOT that I’m saying I wish I was returning to Pakistan – I’m pretty sure such a jaunt would be strongly ill-advised by the CIA travel website – but I wish I was going somewhere…Secondly, I woke up this morning to the breaking news that Starbucks is going to start serving beer and wine. Oh, really, 11Alive? Breaking news? I beg to differ. May I direct you to this entry from October 19 2010, which is one of the least read posts in BBT’s history – there are zero comments. This isn’t the first time I’ve scooped the local news.*

G-force and I at the Badashi Mosque in Lahore. I will likely share more pics in the coming weeks as I reminisce – I know you are all waiting with breath that is baited for a shot of me in my salwar kameez. Good times.

*Upon further research, I learned that Atlanta is one of two locations nationwide that was chosen to launch the beer and wine, the other being Southern California. I guess that is kind of newsworthy. I will acquiesce on this point, but I still say I scooped the news.

APU^, writing BBT has cured me of any and all crankiness and I’m back to breezy :)

^Hilary, that means “as per usual”

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

I’m in a glass case of emotion: the story of BBT

Posted by AllieB on December 8, 2011

Today’s inspiration: the word “inspiration.”

My Idol Person I Like a Normal Amount: Sloane Crosley. Sloane is why Baxter Bark Twice is even extant; she is who I wish to be. I hope she doesn’t have a Google alert set up for her name and reads this. Actually, I hope she does. Hi, Sloane. Sloane has written two books: I Was Told There’d be Cake and How Did You Get This Number? Both are compilations of personal essays ranging in subject matter from bridesmaid woes to international travel to failed relationships and hot-off-the-truck furniture. She is really funny and frank and sometimes it seems like she takes the thoughts from my head, aligns them in an articulate and coherent manner, and writes them down. Pallison had the good fortune to run into Sloane on Sunday at a Barney’s Co-op in NYC. She co-opted (wordplay!) her in the dressing room, and absolutely spewed word vomit about how she and her friend Allie were her biggest fans, how we’re both friends with her on Facebook (true story), and how that line out of How Did You Get This Number, “it wasn’t as real as you thought it was” changed both of our lives. (Read the book. You’ll see what we mean.) Sloane, ever graceful, handled the situation with aplomb. Anyway, in an ideal world, BBT’s posts will parlay into longer, more personal essays, multiply several times in number, and become compilations that will be published. Fingers crossed!

Sorry for saying “spewed word vomit” with regard to your actions, Pal. I probably could have opted for a different choice of words – I didn’t, but I could have.

Person Whose Closet I Want:

Olivia Palermo. Gah.

The Movie From Which “Baxter Bark Twice” Originated: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Baxter is the name of Ron’s dog, and, after Baxter is drop-kicked over a bridge (see below), he goes missing. Later in the movie, Ron receives a call from someone who he obviously assumes is his lost dog, and says, “Hello? Who’s there? Hello? Who is this? Baxter… is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee…” See? My last name is Baxter, so it makes sense. Team Newnan can take credit for this moniker.

Weeeeeeeee!

So, that’s how that happened. I always assume that everyone knows why Baxter Bark Twice is called Baxter Bark Twice, but I suppose if you’ve never seen a movie or if you hate to laugh, you could very well have no idea. Glad I was able to clear things up. If you’re looking to kill some time, I highly recommend visiting IMDB and reading quotes from the movie. I could do this all day.

Veronica Corningstone: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.
Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker.
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry.
Ron Burgundy: Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?
Veronica Corningstone: Well, you have bad hair.

Ok, the end. Have a very thirsty Thursday!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 9 Comments »

A BBT Exclusive: Survey of the Sexes

Posted by AllieB on January 27, 2011

Inspired by literary masterpieces such as Cosmopolitan and Maxim, I decided to do a short survey asking guys and girls what they like about each other in a very physical, on-the-surface sense. I’ve done the leg-work, I did the research, and now I have the answers…ish.

Without further ado…

  • Of the 19 males who participated, 68% are in a serious relationship, 32% are not
  • Of the 35 females, 66% are in a serious relationship, 34% are not
  • Ok, now for the good stuff

Q & A with the dudes:

Personally, I’m very pleased with the outcome of ass vs boob…to the second, I’m a bit surprised with Athletic Gear. I’d have thought that Corporate Attire would’ve been second, or perhaps Costume…shows what I know!

Lastly, here are some excerpts from the open ended statement, “I love it when my significant other/crush….”

- looks and acts particularly hot

– makes me laugh

– laughs

– answers the phone

– does something spontaneous

– Cooks gourmet meals

– Laughs

– strips

– Does pretty much anything totally unexpected.

– gets drunk and dances

– makes breakfast for me, cleans my house, does my laundry, is extremely rich, dresses up like richard simmons in bed

– doesn’t wear cardigans

If your answer is missing, that’s because it was outrageously inappropriate and I thank you very little for sharing such crassness with me. As for the ones I could include, my favorite is “doesn’t wear cardigans” because that is so random, and regarding “answers the phone” – it concerns me that this is what you love most about your significant other or crush…it doesn’t sound like things are going so well…

Q & A with the ladies:

I just realized I forgot to take my own survey. Dunce. Anyway – so, now you know: we don’t care much about your wardrobe, bank account, or abdominal region, but, unlike you, we don’t so much prefer the workout look. That’s likely because if a boy is in athletic gear, it means he probably smells like feet. Also, girls look better in spandex than guys do.

I gave girls the chance to answer the open-ended statement, “My favorite thing about my significant other/crush….” I was going to do excerpts, but they’re either redundant or ALSO much too inappropriate to share on BBT (turns out I have some pervy friends), so instead I will paraphrase what 35 females said is their favorite thing about their boo/wannabe boo and include a few noteworthy quotes:

  • he makes me laugh
  • he is considerate of me and values our relationship
  • he loves me in spite of how crazy I am
  • he is hot
  • he works really hard
  • I can embarrass myself in front of him
  • when he cooks for me
  • “his newfound love for reading”
  • “his bed-head”
  • “when he wears his glasses”

The End. I think my favorite part of this thing was reading the write-in responses, except the ones that were gross. People are weird, and some of you need to wash your mouths out with soap. I suppose that, overall, the results aren’t earth-shattering, but this wasn’t exactly the Spanish Inquisition…

Is it 5 yet? AWD’s…who’s with me??

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 16 Comments »