Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘celebs’

Naughty or Nice?

Posted by AllieB on December 11, 2014

Santa’s super busy around Christmas, so I decided to lend a hand and help him out with those pesky Naughty or Nice lists. Santa, you are so welcome. ‘Tis the season for generosity and selfless good deeds! Also, no need to get a second opinion – pretty sure I nailed it.

Naughty:

~ the news of late…makes you wish for simpler times, like when we all thought we were getting Ebola

Nice!

~ the doorman in my building, Eustace, who knows the name of every single resident (he calls me Ali Baba which still counts and you can all call me that if you want because WWED?) and sells Girl Scout cookies for his granddaughter every spring. Put me down for all the boxes, Eustace – every single one.

~ Sephora. Sephora is on every block in New York, which means I am never too far from dry shampoo and bronzer. Dry shampoo is to me what cake is to those fat kids: you don’t want to be around us if we haven’t had our fix.

But, also a little Naughty:

~ Sephora. The small yet adorably packaged and, duh, therefore expensive items stocked in the checkout line at Sephora are to me what cake is to those fat kids: when it comes to temptation, we have the backbone of a wet noodle.

Back to Nice:

Domesticate-Me. Thanks to Serena and her sharp writing and rather challenging recipes, I have recently achieved Goddess of Kitchen status. I must also give a shout out to my poor budgeting skills, for without my inability to properly manage money, I would absolutely still order Seamless every night.

butternut squash soup

This is the Butternut Squash Soup with Roasted Garlic, Goat Cheese, and Pepitas. It took me like 2.5 hours but it was worth it – that stuff is dank city.

~ Grapefruit season! I love grapefruit. You can all come over for Grapefruit-Rosemary Mules! (I swear I wrote about grapefruit before I saw this recipe – I’m even eating one right now at my desk, we just happen to be on the same page. Is this getting weird? We have friends in common….time to pop that chill pill.)

Possibly the worst ever:

~ (Subterranean transportation x the holiday season) + New York City = HOMICIDAL RAGE. Just last night I was meeting ERock and Flem for dinner at Marta (BBT says: 3.5 stars), and I was literally forced onto the wrong train because of the crowd surge. Stuck in this cattle car against my will, I had to ride the express all the way to 14th then double-back up to 28th. I realized, after the fact, that I really should have just walked the 13 blocks from my office….but it was snowing. So, yeah – toss lousy weather into that equation, and get the hell out of my way.

Go ahead and give in to the goodness:

~ Serial. Yeah, it’s a podcast, and yeah, IT IS AWESOME. I haven’t downloaded this week’s epi yet, and it wraps up next week…I have so many feelings I don’t even know where to start. Stop resisting and start listening – especially if you drive a car or go for long runs, this podcast platform is made for you.

It’s a toss-up:

~ The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. While it is hardly a morale booster, the #VSFashionShow does provide endless fodder when it comes to documenting the appallingly awkward moves, behavior, and facial expressions of Taylor Swift…your call, Santa.

Adrianna and Alessandra each have two kids. And I bet Ed Sheehan posted this on his high school reunion page w caption: "YOU CAN KEEP MY LUNCH MONEY SUCKAS"

Adrianna and Alessandra each have two kids. And I bet Ed Sheeran posted this on his high school reunion page w caption: “YOU CAN KEEP ALL THAT LUNCH MONEY SUCKAS”

Ending on a high note:

~ Christmas in New York. I will never tire of Christmas in NYC.

grand central

So now I ask all of you: are you naughty like Ebola or nice like a grapefruit?

It’s possible Santa might need a back-up list….

I honestly, in my heart of hearts, woke up today and thought it was Friday. The only silver lining is that I had time to throw together this haphazard, weak-sauce BBT…which I think we can all agree places me firmly and immovably on the Nice list.

TGIhowisitstillT!

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An Open Letter to the Internet

Posted by AllieB on November 13, 2014

I am mad at the internet. Between Taylor Swift’s new album and Kim Kardashian’s oily photo shoot, I am actually feeling feelings of legit anger. I am  unwittingly in the know about every single moment of Taylor’s life and am somehow now intimately acquainted Kim’s nether regions. I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW OR SEE ANY OF THAT. The over-exposure and inexhaustible self-promotion of these two women and their “art” really bothers me. I don’t follow Taylor Swift or Kim Kardashian on any form of social media, but they are unavoidable – from TIME Magazine to every single pop culture news outlet – and I want out. What’s more: I want the option to opt out. I feel like the internet has taken away my right to choose.

That said, I’m also a little mad at Taylor Swift. Promoting a new album is a musician’s job. You give interviews, you go on tour, you give free shows on morning news programs and appear on magazine covers. You tweet and you post on Instagram and you get your fans excited. Taylor Swift invited fans TO HER HOUSE for cookies. Taylor Swift inked a deal with the CITY OF NEW YORK to be its global ambassador even though she moved here in March. March of 2014. Speaking of, I’d like to note that Taylor Swift’s New York is that of the .0000007% and bless the tweens from Middle America who think their TriBeCa loft and black SUVs are but a Greyhound ride away. And although the entire music industry has imbibed the kool-aid served up at Taylor ‘s house parties, giving her album 5 star reviews across the board, I can’t bring myself to listen to a single song or watch the new music video that’s getting all the hype – I won’t even link you to it, I am standing strong!

And I’m always mad at Kim Kardashian. I think KimK is actually a robot and definitely has butt implants and is dead inside and I’m sure is very nice but only because she was programmed that way and her motherboard can only handle a very limited range of emotion. She is what’s wrong with everything that is going wrong.

While I do take issue with both Taylor and Kim personally – clearly – I am more more frustrated with the bigger picture. The ebola frenzy of recent weeks really annoyed me, too, but even coverage of that has waned significantly. And I’m not some highbrow consumer – believe you me, I’d much rather click thru on an article about 17 tips for getting ready after a sweaty workout-minus the shower over one about Vladimir Putin and something about the Ukraine, but that is my choice. The obsessive and ceaseless nature of documenting and reporting Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian has forcibly burdened me with information I did not want or seek out, and therein lies my main issue. I also recognize that resistance against these two is futile – case in point: I am writing about them right now – and it’s clear to me I have but one option: I must move to Appalachia. The End.

OK I feel much better, and I don’t even feel bad because I know that TSwizz would just Shake It Off saying “Hater’s gonna hate!” while cashing a check for gazillion dollars, and KimK can’t feel anything stronger than “slightly perturbed” so no harm, no foul.

I do realize the irony of a tirade against the internet…on the internet…but no one stopped to listen when I set up my soap box in Bryant Park.

My apologies to MelBoo and KReav for this outcry against Taylor Swift, but you’ve gotta tell your girl to pipe down.

What’s for lunch?

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Woe Is Me

Posted by AllieB on February 6, 2014

<updated Thursday afternoon 2/6>

So, I have my health, the sun is shining, nearly all of the black ice has melted on the sidewalks, and I just read a most amazing masterpiece entitled: THIS IS THE APPROPRIATE THING TO DO WHEN A STRANGER TEXTS YOU. Like, Allie, what was all that nonsense earlier? I apologize for writing such a depressing post – one of BBT’s founding principles is “no depressing posts” and today…I got all up in my head and forgot about the fundamentals; I forgot who I am. #neveragain #neverforget

L8er dudes

<original post Thursday morning>

Hi.

These are the reasons why my life, as I know it, is in shambles:

1. I was the victim of subway grossness. There was a man, me, a crowded rush hour car, and….do I have to spell it out? I took my gym bag and sandwiched it between me and…him, jabbing him with my elbow as I did so, and he definitely backed off, but it was awful. People are disgusting. F you dude, seriously.

2. Between The Subway Incident and The Sludge, I’m sorry to say that the honeymoon is over: I am currently in the latter state of my love/hate relationship with NYC. We had a great run, but things have gone south. The Sludge has taken away a piece of my soul I may never get back. I cried real tears making my way to the subway yesterday morning. The wind + horizontal rain + foot-deep “puddles” of mud/snow/ice/pee/poop (that is what Sludge consists of) made me really unhappy. I didn’t know I was allowed to bitch about winter and have been a great sport about it, but if everyone else in the city is, so can I, and now I’ve unleashed a beast I cannot contain. More weather is coming this weekend. I quit.

3. I am very displeased with the outcome of the Top Chef season finale.

how to get up

help.

WOE IS ME IS RIGHT

But I suppose morale could be lower: I could be in Sochi. The journalists have arrived to cover the Games, and, per their tweets and pics, things are not quite ready. This is horrible. I am actually very concerned about the Winter Olympics, from infrastructure issues to something really bad happening, and the more I read (and I’ve been reading a lot), the more worrisome things seem. One reporter for the Chicago Tribune tweeted:

My hotel has no water. If restored, the front desk says, “do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous.” #Sochi2014

Then, a little while later:

Stacy St. Clair ‏@StacyStClair  Feb 3 

Water restored, sorta. On the bright side, I now know what very dangerous face water looks like. #Sochi #unfiltered

View image on Twitter

I really thought that was urine. Sick.

Seriously, things are not in good shape over there, and it sounds like they could get worse, with the U.S. Adding Toothpaste Bombs to the List of Sochi Worries. A writer for Grantland mentioned “toxic sludge filling washbasins” – huh? – and a “hotel maintenance crew kicking down someone’s locked door to install a cable box” which seems altogether unnecessary. Russia says they’re ready and have security measures in place akin to a “ring of steel” – I hope they are right. U-S-A!!!

This is a pretty bleak BBT. I wrote most of it yesterday, when I was in a very bleak place, and I figured that today – Thursday! TGIT! – I would wake up with the usual spring in my step and tweak it armed with a decidedly sunnier disposition. I woke up springless. I’ve gotta get it together, let’s cheer me up…

-Jon Stewart had a hard time with what went down in ATL last week, and this is hilarious. Humor at the expense of others is the best medicine

-as far as I’m concerned, David Beckham won the Super Bowl. My goodness.

david beckham super bowl H&M 2014

-a baby elephant faceplant

elephant face plant

-a picture of the city, sans Sludge. Ok, NY, I still love you. We’ll get thru this…there are better days ahead.

bryant park

Bryant Park as seen during a mid-afternoon stroll last spring. I’ll be having lunch al fresco before I know it…ish

-and, of course, this:

hashtag wine

Ok, I feel much better. Enjoy your days.

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BBT’s The Allie Awards

Posted by AllieB on January 16, 2014

If you’re reading this, then you already know: it’s Thursday.

Award season is upon us! I find the Oscars to be a little high-brow for my taste, so I’ve created my own awards: BBT’s The Allie Awards. Just like Lee Daniels did with The Butler, I had to add the BBT part as I did not want to be confused with (or sued by) the Allie Awards in Atlanta which honor excellence in event design, planning, and production. One of their awards is “Best Buffet” – I would’ve been really good at awarding that award. Award. And now, without further ado!

Best Use of Double Sided Tape: Amy Adams, American Hustle. By the end of the movie I wanted to climb into the screen and offer her a turtleneck

amy adams american hustle

could she V any hotter….

Bleakest Film Location: The Prisoners. Conyers, GA is not so scenic.

Best Film Location: Hunger Games: Catching Fire. The Atlanta History Center, on the other hand, is very scenic.

Best Eastern European Accent: Steve Carrell, Despicable Me: 2. I love these movies.

Hottest Actress Who is 23, Australian, and Plays in an Ice Hockey League for Fun: Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wall Street (read that – I was all set to be like, “LAME” but she is a delight!)

margot robbie

oh hey

Best Soundtrack: American Hustle. It’s legit. I’ve always kind of wished I was around in the 70’s…I think it’s my decade-that-should-have-been.

In Memory of the One Who Kept Us Up At Night…RIP Paul Walker: You’re the hottest QB there ever was.

paul walker varsity blues

My awards > The Academy’s.

#NewYorkLife: On Sunday I needed to get from TriBeCa to the West Village, something that is very easily accomplished by hopping on the 1 train right by my apartment. Very easily accomplished unless, of course, it’s No Pants Day on the subway. The only thing worse than a bunch of weirdos riding the New York City subway without their pants is nothing; there is nothing worse. I wound up using a Citibike instead – in spite of strong headwinds, no gloves, and silly flats (I am my own hero) – and, just to be on the safe side, I took a cab home.*

*I have very strict rules about when I can and cannot take cabs. Said rules are constantly changing in accordance to weather, my outfit, time of day, and level of laziness, but they are rigid and ironclad once I choose to apply them.

#NewYorkLife: Yesterday I took a yoga class after work. Due to various variables, I had to bring all my stuff with me to the office. Super-sized satchel + gym bag + YOGA MAT makes for an exciting morning rush-hour commute – lots of slinging things around, and I know I drilled a few people in the peepers. Talk about losing friends and alienating people: I sort of felt like her. Namaste.

worst lady on an airplane SNL

oh yes, and I had on a neck pillow #commutercomfort

Some housekeeping: I updated my Book List this week, and I removed my Atlanta Restaurant Guide. It was time, y’all. If anyone really wants to see a list of where to dine in Atlanta as of July 2012, by all means email me and I’ll send you a copy. Or you can look at it here.

Enjoy what I hope is a long weekend like mine. I’m looking at some chillaxin’, catching up on movies/tv, lbcha’s AND MHM’s bdizzles… Oh, woof – and SoulCycle. Gag me with a spoon. TGIT!

P.S. I’d be remiss to not share these “otherwordly” pics taken of NYC yesterday…this place is the coolest.

NYC fog

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See and (not) be seen

Posted by AllieB on September 6, 2013

Fashion Week is kind of not my scene. I like to read about it and see pictures in magazines while ensconced in the comfort of my couch; I can do without the overheated, overcrowded tents…in fact I have something of  phobia when it comes to enclosed tents – they catch on fire really easily and then people start panicking and stampeding – it’s a recipe for disaster.

However, given an opportunity to attend during the work day for free is a no-brainer. I went this morning with co-workers to the BCBG Spring 2014 show at Lincoln Center. What’s so overwhelming is the whole blogger (psssh – freakin bloggers) craze and the street style photographers. It’s a whole business now, and I feel like anyone in an open-toed bootie, sporting some sort of domepiece accessory, or carrying a kitschy clutch can be stalked for their picture. Eyepatches, also, will get you some airtime. Oddly,  no one seemed interested in capturing my street style of J.Crew Minnie’s and tank.

Here’s my takeaway: if you are at all hungover under the weather and have even the slightest ambivalence towards crowds, zero personal space, excessive perfume, jarring noises and flashing lights, Fashion Week is not for you. I’d rather go to IKEA in that state than Fashion Week, which, I think, says all you need to know.

One obvious bonus: the celeb spotting.

fashion week collage

The ULTIMATE sighting: Olivia Palermo (never said I had good seats), Heidi Klum (yes that’s her), the crowd awaits

I realize you might not believe that’s Olivia and Heidi, so here is my proof. Giuliana Rancic and Selita Ebanks (??) and Estelle and Jesse Metcalfe were also there. They were much more clear in person…iPhone’s do not zoom well. Olivia is everything I hoped she would be – almost too pretty to look at with a very definite “I am so SO much better than all of you” attitude. And she kept her sunglasses on the whole time. Of course she did. Heidi, quite literally, glows.

The celeb spotting has actually been kind of ridiculous lately: I saw Dustin Hoffman at Whole Foods on Saturday. He and his wife were doing regular old grocery shopping. He was trailing behind her, pulling the buggy, while she asked him questions over her shoulder. He must have responded negatively because she whipped around and goes, “well did you at LEAST get the PARSLEY!?” He didn’t answer but turned and headed off towards the greens. I saw them again when they got in line behind me – I don’t think Dustin recognized me because I was wearing a hat – but I nevertheless felt embarrassed about my items: Newman’s Lemonade (1 gal), mac n cheese, chicken wings (5, sweet chili from the hot bar). Allie…no.

Then, the next day, as I explored my new ‘hood, I walked by Jennifer Connelly and her whole fam. She is stunning. I really like her – she might be in my top 5. You know how I feel about Blood Diamond…and who could forget Career Opportunities?!

Speaking of my new ‘hood….I LOVE it. My quality of life has soared to heights heretofore unseen. Who needs the charm of an old brownstone walk-up when you can live in a high rise with a doorman?? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to live without a doorman again…unless, maybe, I own the whole building. I can’t stop taking pictures. Do you wanna see some?? Ok. No filters – seriously.

majestic, ain't she

majestic, ain’t she

skyline as seen from Pier 26 (the one I live on)

skyline as seen from Pier 26 (that’s where I live)

sunset over Pier 26

sunset

sunrise

sunrise

I won’t bore you with stories about my move, but you better believe it did not go off without a hitch/multiple hitches.

Praying for a Bulldog W…have a great weekend!

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