Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘celebs’

Woe Is Me

Posted by AllieB on February 6, 2014

<updated Thursday afternoon 2/6>

So, I have my health, the sun is shining, nearly all of the black ice has melted on the sidewalks, and I just read a most amazing masterpiece entitled: THIS IS THE APPROPRIATE THING TO DO WHEN A STRANGER TEXTS YOU. Like, Allie, what was all that nonsense earlier? I apologize for writing such a depressing post – one of BBT’s founding principles is “no depressing posts” and today…I got all up in my head and forgot about the fundamentals; I forgot who I am. #neveragain #neverforget

L8er dudes

<original post Thursday morning>

Hi.

These are the reasons why my life, as I know it, is in shambles:

1. I was the victim of subway grossness. There was a man, me, a crowded rush hour car, and….do I have to spell it out? I took my gym bag and sandwiched it between me and…him, jabbing him with my elbow as I did so, and he definitely backed off, but it was awful. People are disgusting. F you dude, seriously.

2. Between The Subway Incident and The Sludge, I’m sorry to say that the honeymoon is over: I am currently in the latter state of my love/hate relationship with NYC. We had a great run, but things have gone south. The Sludge has taken away a piece of my soul I may never get back. I cried real tears making my way to the subway yesterday morning. The wind + horizontal rain + foot-deep “puddles” of mud/snow/ice/pee/poop (that is what Sludge consists of) made me really unhappy. I didn’t know I was allowed to bitch about winter and have been a great sport about it, but if everyone else in the city is, so can I, and now I’ve unleashed a beast I cannot contain. More weather is coming this weekend. I quit.

3. I am very displeased with the outcome of the Top Chef season finale.

how to get up

help.

WOE IS ME IS RIGHT

But I suppose morale could be lower: I could be in Sochi. The journalists have arrived to cover the Games, and, per their tweets and pics, things are not quite ready. This is horrible. I am actually very concerned about the Winter Olympics, from infrastructure issues to something really bad happening, and the more I read (and I’ve been reading a lot), the more worrisome things seem. One reporter for the Chicago Tribune tweeted:

My hotel has no water. If restored, the front desk says, “do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous.” #Sochi2014

Then, a little while later:

Stacy St. Clair ‏@StacyStClair  Feb 3 

Water restored, sorta. On the bright side, I now know what very dangerous face water looks like. #Sochi #unfiltered

View image on Twitter

I really thought that was urine. Sick.

Seriously, things are not in good shape over there, and it sounds like they could get worse, with the U.S. Adding Toothpaste Bombs to the List of Sochi Worries. A writer for Grantland mentioned “toxic sludge filling washbasins” – huh? – and a “hotel maintenance crew kicking down someone’s locked door to install a cable box” which seems altogether unnecessary. Russia says they’re ready and have security measures in place akin to a “ring of steel” – I hope they are right. U-S-A!!!

This is a pretty bleak BBT. I wrote most of it yesterday, when I was in a very bleak place, and I figured that today – Thursday! TGIT! – I would wake up with the usual spring in my step and tweak it armed with a decidedly sunnier disposition. I woke up springless. I’ve gotta get it together, let’s cheer me up…

-Jon Stewart had a hard time with what went down in ATL last week, and this is hilarious. Humor at the expense of others is the best medicine

-as far as I’m concerned, David Beckham won the Super Bowl. My goodness.

david beckham super bowl H&M 2014

-a baby elephant faceplant

elephant face plant

-a picture of the city, sans Sludge. Ok, NY, I still love you. We’ll get thru this…there are better days ahead.

bryant park

Bryant Park as seen during a mid-afternoon stroll last spring. I’ll be having lunch al fresco before I know it…ish

-and, of course, this:

hashtag wine

Ok, I feel much better. Enjoy your days.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

BBT’s The Allie Awards

Posted by AllieB on January 16, 2014

If you’re reading this, then you already know: it’s Thursday.

Award season is upon us! I find the Oscars to be a little high-brow for my taste, so I’ve created my own awards: BBT’s The Allie Awards. Just like Lee Daniels did with The Butler, I had to add the BBT part as I did not want to be confused with (or sued by) the Allie Awards in Atlanta which honor excellence in event design, planning, and production. One of their awards is “Best Buffet” – I would’ve been really good at awarding that award. Award. And now, without further ado!

Best Use of Double Sided Tape: Amy Adams, American Hustle. By the end of the movie I wanted to climb into the screen and offer her a turtleneck

amy adams american hustle

could she V any hotter….

Bleakest Film Location: The Prisoners. Conyers, GA is not so scenic.

Best Film Location: Hunger Games: Catching Fire. The Atlanta History Center, on the other hand, is very scenic.

Best Eastern European Accent: Steve Carrell, Despicable Me: 2. I love these movies.

Hottest Actress Who is 23, Australian, and Plays in an Ice Hockey League for Fun: Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wall Street (read that – I was all set to be like, “LAME” but she is a delight!)

margot robbie

oh hey

Best Soundtrack: American Hustle. It’s legit. I’ve always kind of wished I was around in the 70’s…I think it’s my decade-that-should-have-been.

In Memory of the One Who Kept Us Up At Night…RIP Paul Walker: You’re the hottest QB there ever was.

paul walker varsity blues

My awards > The Academy’s.

#NewYorkLife: On Sunday I needed to get from TriBeCa to the West Village, something that is very easily accomplished by hopping on the 1 train right by my apartment. Very easily accomplished unless, of course, it’s No Pants Day on the subway. The only thing worse than a bunch of weirdos riding the New York City subway without their pants is nothing; there is nothing worse. I wound up using a Citibike instead – in spite of strong headwinds, no gloves, and silly flats (I am my own hero) – and, just to be on the safe side, I took a cab home.*

*I have very strict rules about when I can and cannot take cabs. Said rules are constantly changing in accordance to weather, my outfit, time of day, and level of laziness, but they are rigid and ironclad once I choose to apply them.

#NewYorkLife: Yesterday I took a yoga class after work. Due to various variables, I had to bring all my stuff with me to the office. Super-sized satchel + gym bag + YOGA MAT makes for an exciting morning rush-hour commute – lots of slinging things around, and I know I drilled a few people in the peepers. Talk about losing friends and alienating people: I sort of felt like her. Namaste.

worst lady on an airplane SNL

oh yes, and I had on a neck pillow #commutercomfort

Some housekeeping: I updated my Book List this week, and I removed my Atlanta Restaurant Guide. It was time, y’all. If anyone really wants to see a list of where to dine in Atlanta as of July 2012, by all means email me and I’ll send you a copy. Or you can look at it here.

Enjoy what I hope is a long weekend like mine. I’m looking at some chillaxin’, catching up on movies/tv, lbcha’s AND MHM’s bdizzles… Oh, woof – and SoulCycle. Gag me with a spoon. TGIT!

P.S. I’d be remiss to not share these “otherwordly” pics taken of NYC yesterday…this place is the coolest.

NYC fog

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

See and (not) be seen

Posted by AllieB on September 6, 2013

Fashion Week is kind of not my scene. I like to read about it and see pictures in magazines while ensconced in the comfort of my couch; I can do without the overheated, overcrowded tents…in fact I have something of  phobia when it comes to enclosed tents – they catch on fire really easily and then people start panicking and stampeding – it’s a recipe for disaster.

However, given an opportunity to attend during the work day for free is a no-brainer. I went this morning with co-workers to the BCBG Spring 2014 show at Lincoln Center. What’s so overwhelming is the whole blogger (psssh – freakin bloggers) craze and the street style photographers. It’s a whole business now, and I feel like anyone in an open-toed bootie, sporting some sort of domepiece accessory, or carrying a kitschy clutch can be stalked for their picture. Eyepatches, also, will get you some airtime. Oddly,  no one seemed interested in capturing my street style of J.Crew Minnie’s and tank.

Here’s my takeaway: if you are at all hungover under the weather and have even the slightest ambivalence towards crowds, zero personal space, excessive perfume, jarring noises and flashing lights, Fashion Week is not for you. I’d rather go to IKEA in that state than Fashion Week, which, I think, says all you need to know.

One obvious bonus: the celeb spotting.

fashion week collage

The ULTIMATE sighting: Olivia Palermo (never said I had good seats), Heidi Klum (yes that’s her), the crowd awaits

I realize you might not believe that’s Olivia and Heidi, so here is my proof. Giuliana Rancic and Selita Ebanks (??) and Estelle and Jesse Metcalfe were also there. They were much more clear in person…iPhone’s do not zoom well. Olivia is everything I hoped she would be – almost too pretty to look at with a very definite “I am so SO much better than all of you” attitude. And she kept her sunglasses on the whole time. Of course she did. Heidi, quite literally, glows.

The celeb spotting has actually been kind of ridiculous lately: I saw Dustin Hoffman at Whole Foods on Saturday. He and his wife were doing regular old grocery shopping. He was trailing behind her, pulling the buggy, while she asked him questions over her shoulder. He must have responded negatively because she whipped around and goes, “well did you at LEAST get the PARSLEY!?” He didn’t answer but turned and headed off towards the greens. I saw them again when they got in line behind me – I don’t think Dustin recognized me because I was wearing a hat – but I nevertheless felt embarrassed about my items: Newman’s Lemonade (1 gal), mac n cheese, chicken wings (5, sweet chili from the hot bar). Allie…no.

Then, the next day, as I explored my new ‘hood, I walked by Jennifer Connelly and her whole fam. She is stunning. I really like her – she might be in my top 5. You know how I feel about Blood Diamond…and who could forget Career Opportunities?!

Speaking of my new ‘hood….I LOVE it. My quality of life has soared to heights heretofore unseen. Who needs the charm of an old brownstone walk-up when you can live in a high rise with a doorman?? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to live without a doorman again…unless, maybe, I own the whole building. I can’t stop taking pictures. Do you wanna see some?? Ok. No filters – seriously.

majestic, ain't she

majestic, ain’t she

skyline as seen from Pier 26 (the one I live on)

skyline as seen from Pier 26 (that’s where I live)

sunset over Pier 26

sunset

sunrise

sunrise

I won’t bore you with stories about my move, but you better believe it did not go off without a hitch/multiple hitches.

Praying for a Bulldog W…have a great weekend!

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

HAPPY FEET

Posted by AllieB on May 17, 2013

Now that I’m staying put for awhile, I am really excited to participate in all that is NYC in the spring/summer/whatever season it is (do we still have seasons?) for it is glorious. It’s as though we’re all emerging from our seemingly decade-long winter cocoons, and reacquainting ourselves with the sun, other people, and being outside instead of inside. This city is just really beautiful, honestly, and, since this is my first spring up here, I am literally seeing the light for the first time.

bryant park

 There aren’t not filters, but still! It’s just so pretty. This is Bryant Park in Midtown, I work a block east so I spend some time here…and that is the New York Library, the famous one, where I also spend some time…

I do plan to do other things besides hang out in a park and library near my office – FOR INSTANCE on Saturday we are going to Brooklyn and hanging out in beer gardens, and then on Sunday I am going out to Westchester for a garden party – a catered one. That’s legit diversity right there. I shall bring my hipster self to BK and my WASP-y self to the ‘burbs. I’ve heretofore never met Hipster Allie, so that will be interesting…WASP-y Allie is around a lot – she’s the one not confronting things and maintaining the appearance of normalcy.

Celebs used to  be a common point of discussion on BBT, but lately – not so much. Given my lack of other things to talk about, let’s see what’s going on….

Kim K is the worst pregnant person ever, and I already really don’t like her – she’s so boring she’s not even fun to point and laugh at. Like, wear different shoes. So simple. When presented with a choice between ones that cut off your circulation betwixt cankle and foot and ones that don’t, ALWAYS GO WITH THE ONES THAT DON’T. I think she thought that the nude strap and clear thingy over her insole would elongate the leg. No. (Credit: Hilary. She also gets credit for the title – she’s not completely worthless afterall)

0515-kim-kardashian-julianne-moore-3

David Beckham is retiring…from soccer. OH yeah, he played soccer. Perhaps this will free him up to do some more…picture taking. Like this, maybe.

david beckham

I am seriously blushing right now.

And now for a celebrity that I actually know personally and consider an actual friend – next Thursday I’m going to the Stones Fest at Bowery Ballroom to see my buddy Parker Gispert, lead singer of The Whigs, play. Rock on.

Stones Fest FB banner

If you live in the area or will be around, join me,  won’t you? Other performers include Norah Jones, Patrick Carney of The Black Keys, Jason Isbell and many, many more, including some SURPRISE guests (says the site).

That’ll do for today. TGIF, y’all!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

The sauce is weak

Posted by AllieB on February 28, 2013

GREAT NEWS! It is Thursday. Besides that I got nada…bupkis…a great big giant goose egg. No more life events to share, good or bad.  I’ve been working a lot, I socialize, I go to el gimnasio – OH! Remember Lucy Hale’s hotter twin? She showed up in my Cardio Sculpt class on Wednesday. Miss Thang came traipsing in already sweaty – evidently she works out before she works out. Fine, whatever, but the class was at 6:30 in the morning – clearly, she sucks. But she can do a push-up, maybe even a few, and I cannot. Rico, the instructor, was actually fascinated by my inability to lift myself from a horiztonally prone position, flat on the floor, into a push-up. I told Rico that it had always been this way and that when I took the Presidential Fitness Test in 9th grade I could only complete 1/4 of a pull-up. “We can’t excel at everything,” I said. Rico thought about this and asked, “but would you call being able to do a single, legit push-up excelling?”

“For me, yes, that would be excelling.”

“You gotta raise your standards, gurl, because you on the floor just now, trying to push yourself up – that was just about the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. And I used to work at the YMCA.”

Jeez, Rico, no need to SUGARCOAT IT.  

I can’t Instagram a #tbt, so here’s one. This is me chillin – just me and my cheeks hangin out. I bet if I showed this to Rico he’d be like, “typical.”

baby allie

#mouthbreathing

I watched the entirety of the Oscars on Sunday – from alpha to omega I tuned in – and I hve some observations:

-Jennifer Lawrence is clearly PLU. Let’s hang sometime JLaw 

Jennifer-Lawrence-Oscars

touché

-how pissed was Anne Hathaway that SHE didn’t think to fall down?? (Sidebar: article about why we love Jennifer Lawrence and do not love Anne Hathaway. Muy interesante.)

-Channing Tatum… you come here to me.

-INTERVENTION: BBT, this is the third consecutive post in which you’ve mentioned Channing Tatum. Pump the brakes, yo

-Halle Berry…daaaaang.

I’ve never borne the burden of having too much money, so I can’t attest to what I’d do if I had just billions of dollars that I wanted to “spend before I die” but I really, really do not think this would come to mind. My certainty stems from the fact that this is the STUPIDEST thing I have ever heard and someone really ought to shut it down.

Plans for Titanic Replica Set Sail as Australian Billionaire Avoids Sink Jinx

Summation: he’s building a boat exactly like the Titanic, from size and interior to class separation (allegedly he’ll be riding in third class becaase that’s where all the fun is), to sail the exact route the Titanic did without – fingers crossed! – hitting an iceburg and sinking. Apparently he has “dozens of people” interested in signing up. In one deviation from the ill-fated ship, there will be a lifeboat seat for every single passenger and crew member.

In Clive’s defense, he already owns 100 vintage cars, 150 race horses, five private jets and a large collection of dinosaur fossils. And you’d think the person with a private collection of dinosaur fossils must want for nothing…this just goes to show: money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy a lot of other stuff. 

I give up. Go have yourself a beverage. TGIT!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , | 5 Comments »