Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘zing’

This is what I do. I drop truth bombs.

Posted by AllieB on April 5, 2011

You know who else drops stuff? Kirstie Alley’s DWTS partner – he dropped her last night live on the air. This was totally inevitable, and it will probably happen at least once or twice, maybe thrice, more. He was a real trooper – putting on a very brave face and saying it was “no big deal” while it was clear to everyone, particularly in this photo, that he was in total agony. It’s gotta be hard to sling around something so cumbersome.

ATTN: all females donned in workout attire at Willy’s on Sundays. The jig is up – you have on spandex to accommodate your regular sized burrito and medium (personal) cheese dip, not because you’ve just gone for a yog. I’m not saying that I haven’t been this person, on occasion, but I just want you to know that I know what you’re trying to pull. Know that I know what you think no one knows. And not only do I know, but now everyone else knows, too. MUTOMBO. Truth bomb.

I think Kate is about to serve up some truth…

No, seriously. Why is it empty :|

Let’s play that game again where I take a photo of a friend/frenemy and do like the Kate Middleton blog does – it was really fun that time I did it with Sister….. without further ado, I share with you my last bomb of truth*, which is by far the biggest/most awesome/my FAVORITE THING EVER.


*credit: Hilary. Thanks for throwing yourself under the bus for this one.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

There are stupid questions

Posted by AllieB on December 2, 2010

This doesn’t make me sound super cool, but I have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. I like to know things, and if I don’t know something about which I am curious I like to research until I can figure it out. Google is my favorite invention, ever. I say that quite literally – I thought about it, and of all the things I make use of on a day to day basis I appreciate Google most. I’m clearly not counting cars and food and wine, etc. I especially adore Google Image – the results to the query “puppies hugging” make me really happy.


I get that looking stuff up online can be tedious and often it’s just easier to send a quick chat or email to a friend asking a quick Q, but there are limits. To those who send gchats asking, “how late is Trader Joe’s open?” or, “where is the concert tonight?” or, “what is a salad spinner?” – allow me.

First, I go to and am presented with the following screen, at which point I type in whatever idiotic question with which I’ve been burdened:

Per the instructions, I click a button – Google Search. The site generates a link, which I then share with the half-wit who has asked me about the salad spinner, whereupon they are firmly put in their place and probably feel like a dunce.

The link:

It’s hard not to feel foolish watching the process unfold – the first time it happened to me I think I actually blushed. You sit there, helpless, as the mouse scans over the screen, clicks in the search box and types out the question, then sends you to the actual Google results with a shame-inducing, “was that so hard?”

People don’t always laugh upon receiving this link, but it serves its purpose. Sister suggested that I become a comedienne, and I do not think she was being sincere. Lacy got so sick of it that she actually started looking things up herself. Me, I find it enormously entertaining.

Now, what should I goog…?

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 2 Comments »