Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Racks come in all shapes and sizes

Posted by AllieB on March 30, 2011

Due to this crap weather, I found myself wide awake at the vampire hour of 5AM this morning. Never one to waste even a moment of unexpected free time, I decided to assemble my new over-the-door shoe rack I purchased at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I have the bad habit of hurling my shoes into the back of my closet when I’m done with them, which is good for neither shoe nor ease of locating said shoe, so I decided to get a shoe rack.

Wayne: What is it?
Stacy: It’s a gun rack.
Wayne: A gun rack… a gun rack. I don’t even own A gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do… with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don’t like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you’re not careful, you’re going to lose me. 
Wayne: I lost you 2 months ago. We broke up. Are you mental?

“Mental” is always a funny way to describe someone…Anyway, I found a reasonably priced rack that declared, “EASY ASSEMBLY!” and “NO TOOLS REQUIRED!” Super, I thought, as I picked up the suspiciously small box. This should have been my first clue.

Step 1: wtf.


Step 2: I persevered nevertheless…

This looks like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Step 3: Turns out it wasn’t rocket science. Thankfully, these photos do not show the lapse of time between each step…there were some… ‘issues’ between steps dos y tres.

Ta da! Meet & Greet: some of my skis shoes.

It was a very productive way to start my day. My next project is assembling an entertainment center from IKEA. I may or may not document that endeavor…

OMG it’s the season finale of Top Chef tonight!!! If Atlanta’s Richard Blais (of burger joint FLIP – two in ATL and one in B’ham) doesn’t beat that guido Mike, I’m going to be very displeased. And I’ll know exactly who to blame: Gail. Gail is the WORST and my ears bleed every time she starts to talk. Stuff it, Gail.

Claire and I were goog’ing some relevant, important topics on Saturday, including but not limited to: “Jessica Simpson fat.” We stumbled upon this photo, and I felt like it was Christmas, my birthday, and Make Someone Uncomfortable Day all rolled into one glorious happening. Further examination revealed that not only is that a fat suit/costume, but it’s probably not even her….sigh. The heart wants what the heart wants.


Racks: gun, shoe, J Simps…..different shapes and sizes…get it?

7 Responses to “Racks come in all shapes and sizes”

  1. HB said

    for such a tall beast you sure don’t shy away from a 5 inch ski…

  2. Pal said

    I’m impressed you didn’t impale yourself on that death machine. Also, surprised.

  3. lazy said

    can i hire you to come work 1 floor down 2 doors over? a shoe rack is the LEAST of my worries in A1.

  4. sweet dee said

    a testament to functional racks! nonetheless, ski racks. Also a testament to functioning alcoholics…let’s face it, if something reads “assembly required” that includes a bottle of wine.

  5. Fresh Pow Not Required said

    Good news for you- If tevas made stilettos I’m sure ski stilettos aren’t far behind.

  6. swivel spice rack…

    […]» Racks come in all shapes and sizes Baxter Bark Twice[…]…

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