Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

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Posts Tagged ‘the fruits of my labor’

Here. Read this.

Posted by AllieB on July 22, 2011

In lieu of putting forth any effort, I share with you a collection of interesting things I found on the interweb.

A not entirely inaccurate depiction of how the sexes handle break ups. Plus, I really like Leighton’s flat face. And I’m practicing my head toss – if I can get half as good as the girl in the last one, I’ll be doing okay. Now THAT is breezy.

The 50 most delicious foods in the world. Much to my surprise, I didn’t really have any opposition to this list. Some things are kind of broad – i.e., “tacos – Mexico” and they definitely phoned it in with “ice cream – United States” but Thai food gets the credit it deserves…WAIT I don’t think cheesesteaks are on there. I OBJECT.

These are particularly helpful to those of you who live in cities where you actually walk around in the city: how to deal with those pesky construction workers and their leering remarks. I like, LET ME TRY ON YOUR HAT!”

A Mother’s Prayer – by Tina Fey. Tina Fey is really funny all of the time. OMG which remiiiinds me – VH1 is constantly airing “Best of SNL” specials, and they have one about the time post 9/11 and what it was like to do the show and how they handled the sensitive subject matter…anyway, I watched it with Leila the other night and it’s awesome. I cannot find the name of the episode online, which suggests that the internet is broken, but you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it. Record it.

Ok, this guy is batsh*t bonkers. (Credit: FM)

The only way to watch Inception…they make a good point.

This book makes me look forward to being a parent. Not because I love dropping the F bomb and hope my child’s first word is that word -I don’t think I’d actually read this to my child – but it tells it like it is. Like would you PLEASE JUST GO TO SLEEP…ok and this is even better – here is Samuel L. Jackson reading it.

Drinking whilst exercising! Exercising whilst drinking! Germany may not have gotten everything right, but they nailed this.

Lastly…do nothing for two minutes.

Happy WEEKEND!!!

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

How to be domestic, kind of

Posted by AllieB on June 2, 2011

Whenever I think about cooking something, I usually go buy it. However, in the rare occasion that I do mention a recipe, you really ought to pay attention because it means that whatever I am talking about is both really, really delicious and retardedly easy – like, so simple that even Domestic Allie can handle it.

So there we are: Tybee Island, GA. We had an awesome day of fishing on Nelson’s boat, and we even caught some stuff! Well, Yancey, Sis, and Pal did – I wrangled a horseshoe crab then body-slammed it back into the water. They almost called PETA on me and rightly so – I don’t know what came over me. Anyway, after our day on the boat, we decided to cook out at Yancey’s Mom’s house – this the view from the marsh dock; it’s pretty nice.

We had flounder, blueflish, whitefish…I think that’s it…and apps and a salad, but no dessert. The Baxter Fam used to spend summers at Pawley’s Island, and I have vague memories of Key Lime pie being a part of these trips, so that’s what came to mind. We had neither the time nor the interest in making our own pie, so we picked one up from Publix (totally acceptable under the circumstances, maybe like a 6.5 on a scale of 1 – 10).

If you plan ahead just a couple hours and have ten extra minutes on your hands, make the pie below. It is seriously better than any Key Lime pie I’ve ever had, anywhere. And if you’re like, “hey, I already have a recipe and it calls for Jell-O,” tear it up and try this one (Credit: Char).

Nellie & Joe’s Key Lime Pie

  • 9″ graham cracker pie crust (reduced fat works just fine)
  • 14 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk*
  • 3 egg yolks (whites not used)
  • ½ cup Nellie & Joe’s Key West Lime Juice
  • Whipped cream (I like CoolWhip Lite)

Combine milk, egg yolks and lime juice. Blend until smooth. Pour filling into pie crust and bake at 350º for 15 minutes. Allow to stand 20 minutes and then refrigerate for a couple of hours. If you’re pressed for time you can maybe get away with freezing it for 15-25 minutes. It’s edible immediately, but if you’re serving it to guests be sure to chill it. Just before serving, top with freshly whipped cream, or meringue, and garnish with lime slices.

*Charlotte, my older sister and expert baker, always makes me these pies when I go to visit her in SoFLA. She recently discovered that if you switch out regular condensed milk with a can from the Ethnic Foods Aisle, Hispanic Section, it’s even better.

It’s not every day that BBT shares not only a recipe, but a TOP SECRET INGREDIENT. You’re welcome.

Speaking of limes and things that are delicious, here’s Esquire Magazine’s recipe for a Moscow Mule (I almost used Oprah’s, but when it comes to booze I think Esquire is the more trustworthy source.). I like these spritzy beverages all year round, but they’re perfect for the furnace that is Atlanta’s summer. YUM I want one right now…it looks so refreshing…

 

 

Posted in Food & Drink, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Racks come in all shapes and sizes

Posted by AllieB on March 30, 2011

Due to this crap weather, I found myself wide awake at the vampire hour of 5AM this morning. Never one to waste even a moment of unexpected free time, I decided to assemble my new over-the-door shoe rack I purchased at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I have the bad habit of hurling my shoes into the back of my closet when I’m done with them, which is good for neither shoe nor ease of locating said shoe, so I decided to get a shoe rack.

Wayne: What is it?
Stacy: It’s a gun rack.
Wayne: A gun rack… a gun rack. I don’t even own A gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do… with a gun rack?
Stacy: You don’t like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you’re not careful, you’re going to lose me. 
Wayne: I lost you 2 months ago. We broke up. Are you mental?

“Mental” is always a funny way to describe someone…Anyway, I found a reasonably priced rack that declared, “EASY ASSEMBLY!” and “NO TOOLS REQUIRED!” Super, I thought, as I picked up the suspiciously small box. This should have been my first clue.

Step 1: wtf.

:|

Step 2: I persevered nevertheless…

This looks like a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Step 3: Turns out it wasn’t rocket science. Thankfully, these photos do not show the lapse of time between each step…there were some… ‘issues’ between steps dos y tres.

Ta da! Meet & Greet: some of my skis shoes.

It was a very productive way to start my day. My next project is assembling an entertainment center from IKEA. I may or may not document that endeavor…

OMG it’s the season finale of Top Chef tonight!!! If Atlanta’s Richard Blais (of burger joint FLIP – two in ATL and one in B’ham) doesn’t beat that guido Mike, I’m going to be very displeased. And I’ll know exactly who to blame: Gail. Gail is the WORST and my ears bleed every time she starts to talk. Stuff it, Gail.

Claire and I were goog’ing some relevant, important topics on Saturday, including but not limited to: “Jessica Simpson fat.” We stumbled upon this photo, and I felt like it was Christmas, my birthday, and Make Someone Uncomfortable Day all rolled into one glorious happening. Further examination revealed that not only is that a fat suit/costume, but it’s probably not even her….sigh. The heart wants what the heart wants.

from buzzhollywood.com

Racks: gun, shoe, J Simps…..different shapes and sizes…get it?

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 7 Comments »

A BBT Exclusive: Survey of the Sexes

Posted by AllieB on January 27, 2011

Inspired by literary masterpieces such as Cosmopolitan and Maxim, I decided to do a short survey asking guys and girls what they like about each other in a very physical, on-the-surface sense. I’ve done the leg-work, I did the research, and now I have the answers…ish.

Without further ado…

  • Of the 19 males who participated, 68% are in a serious relationship, 32% are not
  • Of the 35 females, 66% are in a serious relationship, 34% are not
  • Ok, now for the good stuff

Q & A with the dudes:

Personally, I’m very pleased with the outcome of ass vs boob…to the second, I’m a bit surprised with Athletic Gear. I’d have thought that Corporate Attire would’ve been second, or perhaps Costume…shows what I know!

Lastly, here are some excerpts from the open ended statement, “I love it when my significant other/crush….”

- looks and acts particularly hot

- makes me laugh

- laughs

- answers the phone

- does something spontaneous

- Cooks gourmet meals

- Laughs

- strips

- Does pretty much anything totally unexpected.

- gets drunk and dances

- makes breakfast for me, cleans my house, does my laundry, is extremely rich, dresses up like richard simmons in bed

- doesn’t wear cardigans

If your answer is missing, that’s because it was outrageously inappropriate and I thank you very little for sharing such crassness with me. As for the ones I could include, my favorite is “doesn’t wear cardigans” because that is so random, and regarding “answers the phone” – it concerns me that this is what you love most about your significant other or crush…it doesn’t sound like things are going so well…

Q & A with the ladies:

I just realized I forgot to take my own survey. Dunce. Anyway – so, now you know: we don’t care much about your wardrobe, bank account, or abdominal region, but, unlike you, we don’t so much prefer the workout look. That’s likely because if a boy is in athletic gear, it means he probably smells like feet. Also, girls look better in spandex than guys do.

I gave girls the chance to answer the open-ended statement, “My favorite thing about my significant other/crush….” I was going to do excerpts, but they’re either redundant or ALSO much too inappropriate to share on BBT (turns out I have some pervy friends), so instead I will paraphrase what 35 females said is their favorite thing about their boo/wannabe boo and include a few noteworthy quotes:

  • he makes me laugh
  • he is considerate of me and values our relationship
  • he loves me in spite of how crazy I am
  • he is hot
  • he works really hard
  • I can embarrass myself in front of him
  • when he cooks for me
  • “his newfound love for reading”
  • “his bed-head”
  • “when he wears his glasses”

The End. I think my favorite part of this thing was reading the write-in responses, except the ones that were gross. People are weird, and some of you need to wash your mouths out with soap. I suppose that, overall, the results aren’t earth-shattering, but this wasn’t exactly the Spanish Inquisition…

Is it 5 yet? AWD’s…who’s with me??

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 16 Comments »