Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘iphone’

Things that can and will happen when it is 97 degrees outside

Posted by AllieB on June 21, 2011

It’s the first day of Summer! Oh, is it, Mother Nature. You could’ve fooled me….it’s hard to go anywhere, really, the moment I walk outside my energy is zapped. Also, and this is more concerning, I have to be very, very careful about my outfits. Breezy materials, obviously, are the best, but even breezy things become an issue when it’s a stagnant 97 degrees outside, especially if you’re sitting down…meet & greet: Swamp Ass. I’ve shared an example on the right from a televised golf tournament in Memphis (credit: Tina). I’m sure his backside was the least of his concerns, but it’s the most grave of mine….so.unfortunate. It looks like he’s wearing a donut, except he’s standing up and that’s not a donut – it’s sweat. Ewwwww.

My tricks for avoiding swamp ass include:

  1. Do not goog “swamp ass” because it’s really gross
  2. Don’t wear light colored cotton material on your bottom half
  3. I don’t know, this is making me uncomf

You’re welcome. If you’re up for it, check out this article/these photos, both of which give a very strong argument to the fact that, yes, the weather is becoming more and more extreme. You are less welcome for that.

I am very lucky to not be a loser and have terrific friends. I’ll quit talking about my birthday after today because, really, this has gone on long enough, but we had a lurvely dinner at Paul’s on the Patio last night and it was very fun. Thanks, guys!

For those of you with iPhones: get the Hipstamatic application. I am gritting my teeth as I write this, being without an iPhone and all, but at least I can reap the benefits of others who have them. There are tons of different settings and I don’t really know anything about the app itself besides the fact that the pictures I’ve seen people take look really cool. #ineedaniphone

I’m joining the cult that is LuluLemon. I can’t believe I’m caving, and I’m almost too ashamed to talk about it, but their shorts have lured me in….the phrase, “if you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything” comes to mind, but whatever – that was never a founding father of BBT in the first place. I got the split/speed short and the verdict is: LOVE. I knew I would. Gosh darnit, now I want to try a top…I am such a sucker.

So this “Pinterest” thing…at first I thought it was really geared towards people in the Interior Design business (which I am decidedly not), and I didn’t really mess around on it…however, after Tina’s spectacular assemblage in honor of moi that she shared with me yesterday, I am newly obsessed. It’s my very own board!!! If you would like an invitation to Pinterest, I will be happy to give you one, just let me know. I’m known for my generosity.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Yes, Satan?

Posted by AllieB on June 9, 2011

There are still two weeks left of spring. That seems wrong, doesn’t it, given what’s going on outside right now – I’m pretty sure summer came in hot (wordplay!) like a month ago. Best learn to love it; we’ve got another 3-4 months to go. Captain Obvious is just trying to be helpful, so here are some things you can do to chill out:

  • go see a movie! I am beyond excited for the following films: Horrible Bosses, The Help, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II, Cars 2…what are YOU excited about?! Here’s a list of upcoming flicks (flucks…don’t worry about it; it’s an inside joke)
  • take a chill pill
  • go swimming! Either avail yourself to an apartment complex pool or someone’s parents’ house. OR you could hazard the murky waters of the ‘hooch…or drive a few hours to Burton/Rabun/Toxaway (LINDSAY I can’t wait!!!)…or go to the beach! The beaches of the Florida Gulf are ever so lovely (MIRIAM, very excited about this as well), but I will always have a special allegiance to the Atlantic Coast -Tybee, Pawleys Island, and even Cape Cod…
  • eat watermelon – either purely as fruit or as a vehicle with which to imbibe vodka. I’ve actually never done that and the only people I do see doing it are at Post apartment complexes and tend to have barbed wire/lower back body art…so maybe stick with the former.
  • do NOT go for a yog at high noon. I don’t know why I just did that. Sometimes I make poor decisions.
  • have a marg. Holy brain freeze, that looks phenomenal…AWD’s are a panacea for all weather-induced ailments.

MUY IMPORTANTE: thanks to your votes last week, Tex’s Tacos is one of the top five contenders for Best Food Truck in Atlanta. So now you need to vote – go to the link, click VOTE, and select Tex’s Tacos. Believe me when I say they deserve to win; I’d do just about anything for the carne asada…just about.

I’m getting borderline masochistic with this iPhone envy. Reason #352 why I need one: an App Shows Breast Implants Before and After. I mean, it’d be kind of interesting to see how things would turn out…obviously the app features a direct link to Facebook so you can upload your could-be-bod to your page, and “family and friends can weigh in on the new look.” That’s just dumb – I would immediately block the person who uploaded pictures of their fake fake boobs to tha Book…just email them. Duh.

Z3 has once again come through with BBT-worthy material – today’s gem: a coupon for half off at all Concentric Restaurants (One Midtown Kitchen, Two Urban Licks, Tap, etc) through September 1. You can print it out and carry it around on your person, or, if you’d like to join the rest of us in the new millennium, you can save the image to your phone and show it to your waiter. The coupon is for UNLIMITED use, which rocks. GO HERE for the coupon or just right-click on the image I’ve so nicely provided below.

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Topsy Turvy

Posted by AllieB on June 8, 2011

I woke up upside down in my bed this morning. That’s the first time I’ve ever done that…is that weird? I’m somewhat perplexed.

The sexting in this country has really gotten out of hand. First of all, if your last name is Weiner…well if your last name is Weiner and you’re a dude AND you’re an elected official often in the public eye, you should assume that if/when you decide to send an explicit photo of yourself, you will get caught. That’s just how that works. The Average Joe/Josephine might not be at such great risk for national exploitation, but it’s still good to exercise caution. If you insist upon getting freakay with your phone and sending X-rated pics via text, here are some tips:

– Use the “sepia” setting on your digital camera. If someone leaks the photos, you can say, “What? Don’t be crazy. These photos were clearly taken in the past.”

– Instead of a photo, send a scanned PDF of an erotic drawing of yourself…As an added security precaution, don’t be famous, work for the government, be an ordained religious leader, or ask a Kinko’s employee to scan the your drawing.

for more ideas like these: Safe Sexting

Or, you know, just don’t do it. Wisdom: imparted.

Did you know that the symbol of Atlanta is the Phoenix? I did not know this until yesterday – I was at the Atlanta History Center learning about Atlanta through the years, and the informational video mentioned it. How Hogwarts-y of us. I think it’s relative to the fact that Atlanta kept burning down but would always make a comeback, rising from the ashes even better than before. I guess we’re pretty scrappy, but I already knew that. It does, however, make me wonder what brainiac came up with Izzy as Atlanta’s mascot for the 1996 Olympics – how  come no one worked the whole Phoenix angle? Izzy literally has a stream of stars coming out of its butt. It’s embarrassing.

I need an iphone. The green-eyed monster is taking over and I can’t even be happy for those who have recently acquired them, switching over from their crapass Blackberrys. Char, K – I can’t even fake enthusiasm, I have only the flattest of faces for you both. And, just when I thought I was coming to terms with my iphone-less existence, I found these Jonathan Adler covers on shopbop. Does Jonathan Adler make covers for Blackberrys? What do you think. If I were a bigger person I’d get you one for your birthday, K. Unfortunately for you, I am not.

Despite the heat, I cannot switch over from my beloved red vino to my once beloved Sauv Blanc. I mean, I can go for a nice spritzer during brunch (that was nice the other day, wasn’t it E & Buff? Nobilo is good stuff), but when I’m hanging around at night, I just can’t bring myself to sip on it. Instead, I’ve taken to chilling my reds. I was goog’ing some drinks that included cold red wine, and I found this NYTimes article which not only condones, but heralds the practice of chilling your red. It’s nice to be validated. (This could be a good alternative to chunking cubes of ice in your glass, Sis – classy though that looks…(I’ve definitely never done that before, and I certainly didn’t do it just last night.))

I spy something….AWESOME. I like you every day, Leila, but on the days my VF comes, I like you a LOT. Talk about a gift that keeps on giving…

If you need me I’ll be on the couch with my chilled Pinot.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , , | 8 Comments »