Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

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Posts Tagged ‘HOTlanta’

Everyone is entitled to my opinion

Posted by AllieB on May 31, 2012

Herro. I started this post in the middle and then wrote the ending and then this part, so you might be like, “BBT, wtf are you talking about.” Try and keep up.

Much to my GREAT excitement, the Opening Ceremonies of the XXX Olympiad are in less than two months!!! This also means, obviously, less than two months til two whole weeks of bird dogging Kate Middleton’s wardrobe choices. I fear the Duchess is getting a bit thin, however…I do hope she’s keeping the myriad pressures of Royal Life at bay and not transferring them to an eating disorder. Too skinny = bony = weathered. No one likes a weathered princess.

Never will I ever criticize B Spears – nothing she can do will ever undo her MTV Video Music Award performance in 2000 - but the list of items she requested for her dressing room on the X-Factor is just…typical. I wonder what kind of chicken? KFC? Popeye’s?

*34 Herve Leger dresses
*12 Snickers bars
*10 snack-size bags of Doritos
*six cases of Diet Coke containing 24 cans, which must be replenished every week
*12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room
*10 pieces of chicken
*four pints of potato salad every week.
*beauty team which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist

My list would read as follows:

*Olivia Palermo’s wardrobe
*My e-reader (hopefully if I have my own dressing room I will have upgraded from my Nook, version Archaic)
*One bag of cheetos from which I can have a few each day; this will be strictly monitored by my stand-in willpower, which I will need provided by way of large, scary woman. See qualifications below
*large, scary woman to stand in as my willpower. Responsibilities will include: monitoring cheeto intake, forcibly removing me from sofa to exercise…I still don’t understand why Jessica Simpson hasn’t hired one of these yet.
*one orchid/table surface
*pizza. Pizza from Tartufo, Fellini’s, Antico, and Mellow Mush…the pizzas are to be delivered hot, fresh, and in random order – keep me guessing!
*three Labrador puppies for 20 minutes each day, with one always on-call
*beauty team which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist

So, this went viral: a letter regarding uncouth behavior at the local Piedmont Driving Club. I’m going to refrain from comment, but here are some high(low?)lights:

  • one member decided to play the 14th hole completely naked. I have not researched it, but I suspect this is a crime in Georgia
  • one member decided to show off to other members, and a caddie, his ability to pick up a golf ball with his naked butt cheeks.

Moving along…Domestic Allie made a rare appearance the other weekend. I guess Tina just brings out the best in me…she and Kirk whipped up a pretty awesome meal of kabobs at their new house, and everyone had a great time. I helped skew the skewers for a little while, but mostly I was in charge of watching feeding Tina wine. Kabobs are a messy business; someone’s gotta keep the chef hydrated.

This is us in our aprons. I’ve opted for the 1960′s photo finish in Picasa because aprons are sooo 1960′s.

I’ve always considered myself to be fairly well educated, and I am a proud alumna of The University of Georgia, but I’m feeling a bit slighted re: course selection…my Art History class on Theosophy (I don’t even know what that word means anymore) is way less relevant than these options. (Source: Reader’s Digest, June 2012. I know.)

  • How To Watch Television – Montclair State. I mean, I could teach that class, amiright??
  • Harry Potter: Finding Your Patronus – Oregon State. BBT says: legit.
  • Alien Sex – University of Rochester. Um, no.

I try to read this blog once a week because it is so funny.

THE FIRST TIME I LIVED ON MY OWN

This isn’t not not true.

TGIT! Today is the last day of May, so tomorrow is the first day of June.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

For dudes, by dudes

Posted by AllieB on May 2, 2012

One thing I really appreciated during BBT’s prolonged hiatus was that, even though I’d gone by the wayside, people still sent me ideas/links/articles/pictures that they thought might be relevant. In many instances they were wrong, and the material wasn’t the least bit relevant, but with some they definitely were on point. RD: I’m looking at you. He sent me Bearings  “A Southern Lifestyle Guide for Men” (join me in my hypothermia-inducing nerd chills), and, while the subtitle was not my favorite, I came around after some browsing. Namely because they talk a lot about food.

1. A list of Buford Highway eateries. This is really helpful. While there are some veritable gems along the international corridor that is Buford Highway, there are also some very serious misses…and you wouldn’t want to accidentally go to the one that actually does serve alley cat in lieu of mystery meat.

2. A best-of restaurant list with sub-lists. Best Patio, Best Burger, Best Steakhouses, Best Breakfasts, Best BBQ…and more. Maybe I need to join forces with Bearings? Or, even better! I can do a female version…what would we call it…GRITS: You Are What You Eat…no, that’s no good. That doesn’t even make sense. Moving along.

3. This delicious recipe for Thai-Style Baby Back Ribs. Someone is more than welcome to cook these and then invite me over to try them.

Anyway, check it out…there’s a lot of interesting stuff: articles about wine, interviews with up and comers…I take back what I said about the nerd chills. This is legit.

And now, in other news……Eli Manning is hosting SNL on Saturday. The promos are great – I think it will be funny!

I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty excited about The Avengers, opening this Friday. I don’t think I’ll go see it at midnight of opening day as Claire and I may or may not have done for the Hunger Games…….but I’m excited.

Another thing we may or may not have done is pose on the Red Carpet.

The other day my boss told me I look like Drew Barrymore.

Sure. Why not.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY! Go Braves! Go Hawks! Sports!!!

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Jump, dive, or bellyflop

Posted by AllieB on July 25, 2011

MUNDAY.

It’s hot and humid. I embraced this weather but spending the day at the pool on Saturday. It so happened that said pool had a high dive – when is the last time you went off the high dive?? Some people did flips, some got real adventurous with the pencil…someONE got crazy with a bunk inward that incurred “AWWWW!” and “ugggggggggggh” from the crowd as she landed…that last one was probably my favorite “dive” (I use the word loosely) of the day, if not an impressive failure….good times!

If you haven’t been yet, I highly recommend Bistro Niko. While you are there get the mushroom flat bread because it’s a-MAH-zing and we actually wound up ordering it twice because we wanted more. BBT says: two thumbs up!

Meet & Greet: Gus. Gus has got the right idea – it’s too hot to even swim outside, so he decided to bring his pool inside. I like where your head’s at, Gus. This is actually really funny…A for Effort! (Don’t need sound, credit: JBax)

Tex’s Tacos schedule for the week…CKB, Gaylen, and I went on Friday and it was as delicious as ever – if not more so since they’ve started using skirt steak for their carne asada taco…YUM

Weekly horoscope: mine was way too aggressive for a Munday. No thanks.

Ok, bye.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

Free Willy*

Posted by AllieB on July 13, 2011

It’s a scorcher out there today…I walked to Starbucks earlier to get a green tea lemonade, and in the 2.5 minutes I was outside managed to elevate my hair emergency to Code Red – glorious this is not.

I seriously am going to make one of these at around 3 o’clock today – thanks, Martha!:

Ingredients

  • 8 cups chopped seedless watermelon (about 6 pounds)
  • 1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice (about 4 limes)
  • 2 tablespoons sugar, plus 2 tablespoons more, if needed
  • 1/2 cup vodka, (optional)
  • Mint leaves

Directions

  1. Working in batches, puree in blender watermelon with lime juice and sugar until smooth. Add more sugar, if needed.
  2. Transfer puree to a pitcher; add vodka, if desired. Cover; chill until ready to serve.
  3. Stir; pour into tumblers, over ice. Garnish with mint.

I found these on an interweb site called, “Why Teachers Drink.” BBT says: fair enough.

I think I sat next to the guy on the left my freshman year in Ecology 101. Or I probably would have, had I ever gone to class.  BOOM!!! To the person on the right – touché. And to the rocket scientist in the middle: fail.

Confession: I just had to goog “Ecology” because I didn’t know of what it was the study. You’ll all be pleased to know that I earned an A. GO DAWGS!

*It would have been more accurate to say “Free Willy’S” but then it wouldn’t be a double entendre with a reference towards the classic film and a lame 7th grade joke. Today is Willy’s Mexicana Grill 16th birthday. If you feel like putting in some effort, you can visit one of five locations at the appointed times, shake Willy’s hand and thusly earn yourself a free burrito.

  1. 11 AM at Roswell Road – Buckhead
  2. 12 NOON at Perimeter
  3. 1PM at Kennesaw
  4. I guess I kind of dropped the ball on the lunch times – you can still do dinner!
  5. 6PM at W. Paces Ferry
  6. 7PM at Howell Mill

Sweet. I probably won’t do it, but I thought I’d put it out there.So, I messed with some internal aspects of BBT, and it’s temporarily not showing up on Google. Lo siento. I think I fixed it…hopefully.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

Things that can and will happen when it is 97 degrees outside

Posted by AllieB on June 21, 2011

It’s the first day of Summer! Oh, is it, Mother Nature. You could’ve fooled me….it’s hard to go anywhere, really, the moment I walk outside my energy is zapped. Also, and this is more concerning, I have to be very, very careful about my outfits. Breezy materials, obviously, are the best, but even breezy things become an issue when it’s a stagnant 97 degrees outside, especially if you’re sitting down…meet & greet: Swamp Ass. I’ve shared an example on the right from a televised golf tournament in Memphis (credit: Tina). I’m sure his backside was the least of his concerns, but it’s the most grave of mine….so.unfortunate. It looks like he’s wearing a donut, except he’s standing up and that’s not a donut – it’s sweat. Ewwwww.

My tricks for avoiding swamp ass include:

  1. Do not goog “swamp ass” because it’s really gross
  2. Don’t wear light colored cotton material on your bottom half
  3. I don’t know, this is making me uncomf

You’re welcome. If you’re up for it, check out this article/these photos, both of which give a very strong argument to the fact that, yes, the weather is becoming more and more extreme. You are less welcome for that.

I am very lucky to not be a loser and have terrific friends. I’ll quit talking about my birthday after today because, really, this has gone on long enough, but we had a lurvely dinner at Paul’s on the Patio last night and it was very fun. Thanks, guys!

For those of you with iPhones: get the Hipstamatic application. I am gritting my teeth as I write this, being without an iPhone and all, but at least I can reap the benefits of others who have them. There are tons of different settings and I don’t really know anything about the app itself besides the fact that the pictures I’ve seen people take look really cool. #ineedaniphone

I’m joining the cult that is LuluLemon. I can’t believe I’m caving, and I’m almost too ashamed to talk about it, but their shorts have lured me in….the phrase, “if you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything” comes to mind, but whatever – that was never a founding father of BBT in the first place. I got the split/speed short and the verdict is: LOVE. I knew I would. Gosh darnit, now I want to try a top…I am such a sucker.

So this “Pinterest” thing…at first I thought it was really geared towards people in the Interior Design business (which I am decidedly not), and I didn’t really mess around on it…however, after Tina’s spectacular assemblage in honor of moi that she shared with me yesterday, I am newly obsessed. It’s my very own board!!! If you would like an invitation to Pinterest, I will be happy to give you one, just let me know. I’m known for my generosity.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »