Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘iphone’

Just like Nancy Drew, I solved a mystery

Posted by AllieB on January 30, 2014

Hello. Today I will solve a mystery so mysterious it makes the Bermuda Triangle look like an above-ground backyard pool in Ohio where the Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot hang out, grill steaks, and play touch football with their kids, Loch Ness and Big Foot, Jrs.

It’s a total game changer: here’s how to see time stamps on your iMessages. Credit: JVBJordan…eh, so I guess it’s her we should call Nancy Drew. Fine.

how to see time stamps on iphone imessages

I had to black out the sender’s name, obvi, given the mention of pre-meditated murder and a clearly stated lack of remorse; BBT is no snitch. If this is not brand new information then up yours for not telling me sooner. I mean, it didn’t even occur to me to goog it, that’s how futile the situation seemed. This might be the best brand new information I’ve received since I learned about Let Me Google That For You – I love LMGTFY.

While we’re talking game changers, I have a couple requests for the big guys:

Dear Mr. Snapchat,

Will you please figure out a way for me to send my screenshots via Snap? Super.

P.S. What 23 year-old says “pass” to $3 billion?! Pretty ballsy…

P.P.S. Might you consider dating a slightly older woman?

Dear Apple (cc: Emoji),

Could someone please find out how to assign unique keyboards to specific contacts? Or, at the very least, put the hashtag thingy on the main typing screen? Yes.

hashtag wine

I need this on my keyboard, please and thank you

I think that’s it; I’m not unreasonable.

Another helpful tip I generously share with you today: do you find that your ear buds fall out during exercise? I do. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me – the right ear bud barely stays in while I’m just walking. I have those hook-over-the-ear headphones but they look stupid. SOLUTION! Credit: CKBMaines

sprng

Meet Sprng, the $10 plastic clips that will greatly improve your quality of life – they just snap right onto your ear buds and fit neatly into the groove of your ear (ew). They slide in easily, stay put, and are much more comfortable than the ones that hook – you don’t even notice they’re there, you just notice that you’re not having to shove your right bud in every 20 seconds. I’ve run with them twice this week, and I’m very impressed. Also, I opted for a subtle light grey color that blends right in – ya can’t even see them. BBT highly recommends.

Sooo…how’s it going, ATL? The pictures I’ve seen online from Tuesday & Wednesday are insane, and I still can’t quite comprehend the gravity of the situation on the roads. It sucks that it was handled poorly on so many fronts, but – and more importantly, I think – my overall takeaway is this: I am in awe of the innate goodness of the peeps Atlanta. I read so many stories on the SnowedOut Atlanta page that gave me the warm and fuzzies – it was pretty great. (Unfortunately there are also haters posting on that page, but haters are always going to hate.) They’ll be embarrassed I shared this, but on Tuesday night my mom saw a post on FB about woman stranded near our house, and my dad went to pick her up and wound up with a second woman as well. The two of them stayed the night at our house and finally were able to start their trek home yesterday afternoon. I know my parents’ gesture was just one of thousands made throughout the city. There’s going to be a lot of political conversations and pointing of fingers and I imagine it’s going to get pretty ugly – it already has – but, as is the BBT way, I like to find the silver lining. It’s amazing how the worst times can truly bring out the best in people.

I’d also like to give a shout-out to Zirk3 and her harrowing commute home Tuesday day -> evening -> night…you’re very brave, and I commend you for finding the silver lining via Insta posts (I also commend you for having a car charger). It takes a special breed of person to keep their sense of humor in the face of such hardship. Next time we meet, the goldschlager’s on me.

Not to take away from what’s going on down there, but we’re cold, too…..

hudson river frozen

The Hudson was frozen halfway to Jersey last Friday. Thass bunk.

Here’s fun activity: take this 100%  entirely accurate quiz that will determine your mental age in 6 short and easy multiple choice questions.

Your mental age is

19

Well, that settles it: I most definitely belong with a 23 year old! I’m going to make a wonderful Mrs. Allie Snapchat.

If you haven’t already, watch this. Even if you have, watch it again – I’m in double digits. Hint: there are puppies. Puppies and Clydesdales and Budweiser.

TGIT and Happy Super Bowl Weekend! Go Peyton!! Go Sherman!! If you live in NYC, don’t even think about going near Times Square, but do read this article What Super Bowl Week Is All About by my man Jason Gay at the WSJ. And, believe it or not…it hardly seems possible…tomorrow is the last day of January. VICTORY!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Despicable Me

Posted by AllieB on February 21, 2013

I lost my iPhone. It happened two weeks ago, and I am not doing well. Most of the time I have no idea where I am, how I got there, or how I’m going to get where I want to go; I have no soundtrack for my daily commute; and…no Instagram. On top of all that there’s the whole behavioral issue: losing one’s phone does not purport mature, competent, adult conduct. It just doesn’t.  And, while it wasn’t a situation of me being totally blotto, it was my own careless oversight that allowed it to happen – I’ve no one to blame but myself. For this reason, instead of getting a new phone right away, I am sentencing myself to cellpiece purgatory for a few weeks with an archaic Blackberry Curve v 1.0 – pretty sure it was the clunkier predecessor to Zach Morris’s portable phone in Saved by the Bell. At its best it sends one out of every three text messages, and at its worst it freezes for hours, or maybe minutes, at a time. I’m calling this an exercise in character building. Also, torture.

I don’t have anyone’s numbers, I don’t have voicemail…if you need to get in touch with me send a text identifying yourself and I’ll respond. If you text me and hear back nothing but radio silence, you can assume that the text didn’t go through…or that it did and I’m ignoring you. XOXO! Actually, having a malfunctioning cellular device can be kind of convenient re: contact I’d rather not have, and, come to think of it, I’ve really missed that red LED light – “Allie! Someone has contacted you!” – and it’s nice having a keyboard again…plus, the lack of access to Google Maps has done wonders for my sense of direction around the nonsensical cluster that is the West Village.

This is one of my favorite things about BBT: I start off bitching and moaning about something, but by the end of the post I’m like, wait, this isn’t so bad, and I’m back to my usual cheerful self.

The camera doesn’t totally suck? I was all the way downtown by the WTC this morning for a meeting and took this…the Financial District on a weekday morning is like a different country.

#nofilter #blackberrysdonthave filters #WTC

#nofilter #thatsbecauseblackberrysdonthavefilters #WTC

How or why I rambled for three paragraphs about my cell phone situation I know not. But there you have it. I was brainstorming some preventative measures to ensure I never lose my mobile again, and I might rig up some sort of apparatus so it is affixed to my person at all times. No? Yes? I’ll keep you posted.

HUGE NEWS: the minivan is gone for good. Some other very, very lucky person (I hope it is person-singular and not a whole family) is driving around in that party wagon safety mobile. Note I said “sold” and not “given away” – true to form G-Force got some decent cash for the thing. I think removing me from the equation upped the value significantly.

Go see it: Side Effects. It’s GOOD! That Rooney Mara (she was Lisbeth Salander in Girl with a Dragon Tattoo) is a real piece of work – the word diabolical comes to mind. Also, Channing Tatum’s in it and I have a an unabashed, no-holds-barred crush on that guy. Is that sleazy?? Whatever – he’s a babe. Huge bonus: it’s under two hours long.

Watch it on the tube: The Following. It’s screwy and gory, but I’m hooked (Mondays on Fox). Credit: Caro

Read/Download: The Dinner by Herman Koch. People are going to be talking about this one, and you will all forget you heard it here first (but you did – you heard it here first), and BBT highly recommends. I saw one review calling it a “European Gone Girl” which I don’t necessarily agree with –  not in a bad way, just in a that-is-not-correct kind of way. Credit: Mom

The Duchess revealed her baby bump…bravo, Catherine. Bravo.

good god her hair is even more glorious than before

good god her hair is even more glorious than before

Meanwhile Jessica Simpson seems to be doing an okay job not turning into The Monster Who Ate Literally Everything, but she also has taken to dining at The Cheesecake Factory, according to some article I saw recently – that’s not wise. And the “sexy” pursed-lip duck face is illegal on pregnant women, so that’s gotta go. She’s also decided that if she has a son, she wants to name him Ace. The over-under on Ace not being a total d-bag is about zero. Screen Captures1

I figure this – sorry – they speak for themselves.

My plans for the evening are described on that invite below. I’m thinking Luda and I can Act a Fool while Representin‘ tha Dirty – I hope to see How Low he can go…and I fully intend to do some shaking of my Money Maker.

Doc1 - Microsoft Word 2202013 91324 PM.bmp

I didn’t black out the location because I’m too cool, I just don’t want to get in trouble…

TGIT! Make good decisions and never end sentences in prepositions,

BBT

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 10 Comments »

Guess who’s back.

Posted by AllieB on April 12, 2012

Oh hey. It’s been over two months since I last wrote. Why, you ask? I’m not entirely sure why…but once one week goes by, and then another, and then five more, it gets real difficult to get back into things. Excuses, excuses…I have been overwhelmed by fan outrage, however, regarding BBT’s not-so-justified hiatus, so thanks for that. Sorry I made you mad, but sorry I’m not sorry you’ve made me feel loved. Anyway, for reals, lots of things happened that aided and abetted my absence…por ejemplo:

Tina and Kirk got married in Charleston…awesome weekend. A real highlight was the toast Jennifer and I gave at the Rehearsal Dinner, as well as the kickass 80’s band at the reception. I highly recommend going with a genre band, especially one where the singers have poofy perms and wear tight pants. It is the Ultimate Dance Party. The wedding, as you can see below, took place at the somewhat picturesque Legare-Waring House just outside of Charleston. I mean, I guess it was kind of attractive…ish.

Congrats to Tina and Kirk Adams!!! Salud.

Then, my sister Charlotte married Stanton here in Atlanta. I have to say, we throw a pretty great party…it was a wonderful weekend and I got to see all kinds of family that I never get to see, and we laughed and danced and ate and drank and everyone was very, very merry.

From top left: Gaylen, Allie, Jo, Char at welcoming party – we heart spray tans…bridesmaid luncheon…Rehearsal Dinner


We clean up nice, don’t we?

From top: Char and Stanton with Grandma…the most beautiful bride eva…cousins!!

Congrats to Charlotte and Stanton Maines!! Prost.

Let’s touch on a few other things:

– I am a HUGE fan of Flywheel, which just opened up in Atlanta. It’s a really aggressive spin class featuring very loud music and instructors who yell a lot – but in a good, motivating way. I even won the class the first time I took it…I have subsequently not performed so well, but it’s fun to have the competitive aspect of the “power board” where you can see how fast and far you go. I like that they give you the proper spinning shoes, also. Conversations you will likely overhear before/after Flywheel include: “So we’re headed down to Rosemary on Friday…John is already down there playing golf..” and “My shopper at Neiman’s called about the Cavalli I asked about…” and “I just got myself injected with all kinds of crap and now my face looks like it can blink itself, what do you think?” Ok, maybe not that last one, but you get my drift…there is excellent people watching at Flywheel. BBT highly recommends the entire experience.

-Jessica Simpson has yet to give birth. This scientific marvel truly makes my head explode, as I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW SHE IS STILL PREGNANT, but there’s still 8 more days til we meet…whatever the H it is that emerges from her. Listen, I was an 11 lb 2 oz baby, which I get is quite large – in fact, it is more than the total combined weight of Hilary and Norah when they were born – but this is completely ridiculous. Also, I’d like to note that she is serving as a wedding attendant in the pic below…can we all agree that if someone is this grossly ginormous pregnant, that maybe they can sit out on the bridesmaid duties? I mean, it’s not going to be good for photos. If I were J Simps, I’d hide under a rock – boulder? – until I gave birth.

However, something has happened that trumps BOTH my best friend and sister getting married…something that that will irrevocably alter my life forever and ever…

I got an iPhone. It’s arriving via FedEx today. I. Am. SO. EXCITED. I’ve already started accumulating apps. Please, share with me your favorites…and not like Instagram and other mainstream ones, but obscure, cool ones I need to have…and get ready to be dominated in Words with Friends.

Alright, that’s more than enough for now. I just wanted to say hey…hey.

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So, I lied.

Posted by AllieB on October 18, 2011

For the life of me, I can not figure out a good way to randomly – like, legitimately randomly – come up with a way to choose a winner of the basically priceless prize of $20 to iTunes. I bet I could Goog this, and I probably will, but I just wanted you all to know that the contest is STILL ON… it’s just taking slightly longer to execute. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow. I promise – and I’ll take the oath of Chanel – that I will choose a winner…at some point.

Re: the survey. It seems that people really do enjoy the premise and the idea of a survey of their peers/the opposite sex, but my questions were boring. This is a valid point: my questions were boring. However, BBT is a personal blog – my name’s all over this and my reader demographics expand far beyond those in my immediate age range. Therefore, there are certain parameters and standards I must uphold. The internet is permanent, and once I put something out there I really can’t get it back. So, until I start writing under some pseudonym on a totally random page (lightbulb!), my surveys will continue to air on the conservative side of PG-13. We keep things classy around here.

Q&A:

do you have the new iPhone? I don’t. I really really want it. This demo of the new SIRI program (credit: Seth) is not helping. I mean, this thing is badass. The future is now!

are you watching Homeland??? It’s new on Showtime (Sundays @ 9 pm) starring Claire Danes. It is awesome. The premise is as follows: thought-to-be-dead POW Sergeant Brody is found alive after 8 years MIA. The story begins with his triumphant return to the USA…or is it??? Carrie Mathison (Danes), a CIA agent, received word from a paid snitch in Iraq that an American POW has been turned….is it Brody?? We don’t know. Everyone’s paranoid, and the show is awesome at keeping the twists and turns going. WATCH IT. It’s by the producers of 24, and I’m totally hooked…plus, it’s Showtime so they can really push the limits re: plot lines.

-ok, this isn’t a question, but check out this comprehensive compilation of the most controversial magazine covers of all time (credit: YKenna). It’s got pop culture, Vietnam, OJ Simpson, Demi Moore, religion, a baby nursing…it’s a quick pictorial lesson in history. Worth a look.

The last thing I need is this guy finding a scandalous survey by BBT.

OH, that reminds me: HBD ABE the V!

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

It’s a bird, it’s a plane…it’s Wine Gal

Posted by AllieB on October 6, 2011

One of my biggest flaws, I think, is my lack of creativity when it comes to costumes. I have a pretty good imagination and can be creative with other stuff – this blog doesn’t write itself – but I suck at costumes. People who do not suck at costumes: A, K, Leila, Pants, Caro…you’ve all had some remarkable ‘stumes. Case in point: two years ago I dressed up as Parker Posey from Dazed and Confused. LAME. And, to make it even lamer, I was the only person who did it so instead of SENIORS my shirt said SENIOR – senior singular. I did enjoy having that whistle…and making people fry like bacon.

Last year, as I was thinking about options, I decided that, whatever I chose to be, it had to include a cape. Who wears capes? Superheros. Somehow I landed on a “wine superhero” (probably after a great deal of wine) and yada yada yada…meet & greet WINE GAL.

Wine Gal wore all purple: purple knee socks, purple tennis skirt, purple tank bathing suit (oddly, I owned all of these things), and I bought some sparkly purple fabric to fashion a cape. Key accessories included a gold fanny pack and my weapon of choice – corkscrew, duh – and then mini bottles of wine which served as my strength serum – think Popeye and spinach. I didn’t really have a super power….unless you count the ability to consume incredible quantities of red wine as one. Which I do.

So, here we are… Once again I have no idea what to be, I only know what I don’t want to be:

-slutty nurse/waitress/maid/police officer… you can pretty much be a slutty noun. Those costumes are lame and SO obvious. PLU don’t dress up like those things, but I just wanted to reassert how not okay they are – I don’t care what you saw in Mean Girls.

-persona from current events. Apparently Charlie Sheen is trending as this year’s most popular costume. That’s really dumb.

-any kind of animal. Either you’re a slutty kitten or you wind up in some huge cow costume with icky udders. No to both. Unless you’re a dude, in which case a big goofy animal costume can be funny. Actually, guy costumes are a totally different conversation – the same rules do not apply.

-anything really ugly or scary. I’m sorry, I’m just not good at really immersing myself in a look…this might be why I’m no good at costuming. Maybe I just need to get over myself and go as Mt. Rushmore or something……A, you will forever have my respect for that mountain of an ensemble.

Fack. BOLO for Wine Gal 2.0.

*PLU = people like us.

He changed our lives and imaginations with his inventions. Check out this compilation of tributes from across the world – an “iMemorial” of Steve Jobs – worth a look.

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