Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘LiLo’

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A girl crush and a girl I’d like to crush

Posted by AllieB on January 24, 2011

Dear Genie in a bottle or similar,

I have three wishes for today/this afternoon. Let’s see what we can work out.

  1. I wish I looked like Minka Kelly because she looks awesome in these pics for her new movie w Leighton Meester (can’t wait to see!), and AND she is Tim Riggins’s dreamweaver on FNL. I think I would really enjoy being his dreamweaver. Heeeey, Minka. First Mila, now Minka…I guess I have a thing for long-haired brunette beauties who have weird two-syllable M-names. Minka might be kind of boring, actually, but I’m still carrying my torch for Mila.
  2. I wish that Season Two of Nurse Jackie was on Showtime OnDemand
  3. I wish that Jessica Simpson would refrain from tweeting about her fiance’s “perfect Tush.” And I really really wish that, when I goog’ed “Jessica Simpson Tush,” I hadn’t learned about a song entitled Push Your Tush that J Simps wrote for her 2006 album, An Epic Fail A Public Affair. I really hate being such a jerk when it comes to Jessica, but she really brings out the curmudgeon in me and I get very frustrated with what a dope she is. Here are some lyrics. This is embarrassing.

My head feels like it might explode…I think the last stanza really did me in. Maybe I should wish for a greater understanding when it comes to the exhausting behavior of idiot celebrities on my next wishlist. Speaking of idiot celebrities, LiLo is out and about and looking well…! Wishing you only the best, LiLo…see look – I can be nice.

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Troubleshooting: Lindsay Lohan

Posted by AllieB on December 7, 2010

Suffice it to say, Lindsay Lohan has not had the best 2k10 ever. She’s been safely tucked away in rehab since October (give or take) and is mandated to stay until 2011, but then she’s on her own again…which means to say, it’s only a matter of time before she’s back in the slamma/going on benders/wearing tights as pants, etc.

Solution! Dancing with the Stars. I can take no credit for this – the People with Kate Middleton (love you Kate!) on the cover had a blurb with their suggestions for the next DWTS group, and they chose Lindsay. But, like, DUH – it’s perfect for her! Despite her best efforts to alienate her fans, I think America is still rooting for LiLo and wants her to succeed. Ergo, they will vote for her and she will do well and all will be right in the world again…so long as she doesn’t paint expletives on her finger nails, dance a routine sans underroos, or pass out backstage.

what not to do

See – I’ve got all the answers figured out. I wonder if Lindsay still has an agent? If not, Linds, I’m at work til 530 then reachable on my cell; let’s talk shop.

The Reebok Easytone commercials – the ones with the cute little rumps just shaking back and forth while that maddening song plays – are finally getting to me and I might need to spring for a pair of those toning pants. Is that embarrassing? I’m such a sucker for advertising/airbrushing. Good grief, those things are $80!! I’ll stick with my old school Nike tights and lunges, thankyouverymuch. Orrrr, maybe I’ll add to Christmas List….

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

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