Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

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Posts Tagged ‘stop that now’

Why do we never play Night Crawlers anymore?

Posted by AllieB on September 12, 2011

It was a rough weekend for fans of Georgia-based athletics.

Today, being Monday, means that I am tired and cranky. I’m also emotionally drained after watching hours of 9/11 coverage yesterday. The most surreal part – for me – was watching the Today Show from that Tuesday morning ten years ago and seeing things unfold again, as though for the first time…it was spooky. God bless America.

Non sequitur: you know what pisses me off – when people won’t tell you where they got something. Refer to the following exchange:

Allie: oh, I just LOVE that piece you’re wearing!

Frenemy: why, thank you.

Allie: where did you get it?

Frenemy: where did I get what?

Allie: that piece you’re wearing – where is it from?

Frenemy: <looking around, checking watch> oh, did you say something?

Allie: alright. <wrangles Frenemy, checks label of piece> thanks, that’s all I wanted to know

Not telling me won’t keep me from finding out. If anything, it will encourage me to track it down and buy it, just to spite you. SO THERE. Also, like I said, I’m pretty cranky and complaining about totally random and irrelevant things does wonders to boost Monday morning morale.

I am going to CALI tomorrow!!! It’s for work, but it also means I get to see my seeester and Stanton and maybe some other people up and down the Coast. We’ll be covering a lot of ground. I have no idea what to pack, what to expect, or really what is going to happen at all. At least I’m pretty sure I’m going tomorrow?? I hope it’s not today. I ought to check on that – I already know I mis-booked my flight home, so who’s to say I got the one out there right….get with the program, BBT. I haven’t spent much time in southern Cal, so I’m excited to get the grand tour. Must-do’s include a meal at The Grilled Cheese Truck and I don’t really care what else.

Anyway, suggestions welcome.

I leave you with:

Tex’s Tacos schedule for the week (don’t worry guys – no matter what happens between me and the grilled cheese truck, you’re still my #1)

New shows are starting to premier this week – per your suggestions, here is a link to my Fall TV Preview that I, for some reason, posted about two weeks too early. I am most excited about the Always Sunny in Philedalphia premier on Thursday, as well as Up All Night, also on 9/15. Kara, get the DVR ready.

Dennis Reynolds: How much cheese have you eaten today?
Charlie Kelly: How much cheese is too much cheese?
Dennis Reynolds: Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese!
Charlie Kelly: I had a lot of cheese, I had a block of cheese.
Mac: You had a block of cheese?
Charlie Kelly: I got really, really nervous I just started eating cheese

Does anyone want to buy a minivan? I know of one that’s for sale. Seriously.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , | 6 Comments »

I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can

Posted by AllieB on July 12, 2011

Actually, I’m not entirely sure I would – crack is very addicting, you know, one hit and you could be a goner…but that’s what Gwyneth said at some function last week. I think Gwynnie is trying a little to hard to be kewl – another snippet from the same event:

“I drink constantly while I’m cooking,” she says. “Wine, either colour.”

Now that is radical.

So, the whole Casey Anthony thing is over and done with (until her tell-all novel/reality show/perfume comes out – eau de Car Trunk…? (that may have been inapprop)), but Nancy Grace’s insanity will forever live on. This video is actually very hysterical because Nancy Grace is such a ridiculous human. Obviously, you need sound, but it’s worth watching.

BBT enjoys the finer things in life, but, unfortunately, Bacchanalia is rarely one of them. Have you ever been? I went once…I’d like to go back, so I entered this contest to win a $250 dinner for two! That would put a decent dent in the bill, I think, so long as I didn’t take Hilary with me. You can enter, too!!! But if you win, you have to take me. Unless you win, Hilary, in which case you will need to tell them that what most consider dinner for two is actually a dinner for uno in your book.Please say a little prayer for Missy Baxter today…she’s having surgery for these lump things that are actually pretty icky and I’m glad she’s getting them removed…anyway, she’s going to have to have a doggy cone and she’s going to hate it. Missy doesn’t like conical accessories.

Happy Tuesday. Have you VOTED FOR BBT YET?!? If you haven’t…well….

 

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Common sense: turns out – not so common

Posted by AllieB on February 2, 2011

I don’t like going to the gym. I prefer to do my yogging outside – only heavy rain and wind will send me to el gimnasio, as was the case last night. It’s not so much the actual working out part that bothers me, it’s the people who decide the gym is a total free-for-all and completely abandon the basic manners they learned in kindergarten, like,  “don’t interrupt” and “it’s impolite to stare.”

I would genuinely like to know what part of profusive sweat, noise-canceling earphones, and heavy breathing says, “please come talk to me,” but some people seem to think it’s prime time to initiate a mindless convo.  Small talk is awkward enough as is – small talk whilst doing reverse crunches is the equivalent to what I imagine water-boarding is like.

That is why I am not a member of one of those massive chain facilities where women wear normal bras beneath their sports bras and guys make use of the free tanning beds – from what I’ve heard, those places are hotbeds for unpleasant and untimely socializing. Even though I do have several friends who work out where I do, we simply nod at each other and continue on our way…if this is the protocol with people to whom I am actually close, then it should surely apply to mere acquaintances.

My other point of issue is that, yes, I know my face turns red. We call this Dance-floor Allie, or Red-faced Allie, or Summertime Allie – whatever scenario aptly describes why my face has gone vermilion. At any rate, there is no need to stare, much less make remarks – both happen to me frequently and it’s really very offensive. Honestly, How Rude!

Credit: Hilary. These aren’t great photogs, but that is a nice shot of Dancefloor Allie..

Actually, I saw a girl on the treadmill yesterday whose face was not so much red as a purple-y maroon…it kinda reminded me of the sky right before a really bad storm – literally, it looked like her head was about to explode. At least mine airs on the side of tomato…if I were her, I’d probably consider an at-home workout regimen. Also, in keeping with the theme of my post, I would like to note that I neither stared at nor remarked upon her condition; I am simply reporting it here on BBT.

I saw the Hall Pass trailer for the first time last night – it looks funny! Also, it was fun to spot all the places in Atlanta where they filmed stuff for the movie. Applebee’s on Lindbergh and Johnny’s Hideaway were obvious venues in the clip I saw. Of course, I know there was some filming done at Cantina in Terminus as I actually hung out with Owen Wilson et al one evening…it was a very brief encounter. I described the meet & greet in post this fall – it did not go well.

A screenshot of the trailer – anyone between the ages of 20 and 60, possibly 70?, who ever “goes out on the town” in ATL can surely recognize that ceiling…

Posted in Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

A girl crush and a girl I’d like to crush

Posted by AllieB on January 24, 2011

Dear Genie in a bottle or similar,

I have three wishes for today/this afternoon. Let’s see what we can work out.

  1. I wish I looked like Minka Kelly because she looks awesome in these pics for her new movie w Leighton Meester (can’t wait to see!), and AND she is Tim Riggins’s dreamweaver on FNL. I think I would really enjoy being his dreamweaver. Heeeey, Minka. First Mila, now Minka…I guess I have a thing for long-haired brunette beauties who have weird two-syllable M-names. Minka might be kind of boring, actually, but I’m still carrying my torch for Mila.
  2. I wish that Season Two of Nurse Jackie was on Showtime OnDemand
  3. I wish that Jessica Simpson would refrain from tweeting about her fiance’s “perfect Tush.” And I really really wish that, when I goog’ed “Jessica Simpson Tush,” I hadn’t learned about a song entitled Push Your Tush that J Simps wrote for her 2006 album, An Epic Fail A Public Affair. I really hate being such a jerk when it comes to Jessica, but she really brings out the curmudgeon in me and I get very frustrated with what a dope she is. Here are some lyrics. This is embarrassing.

My head feels like it might explode…I think the last stanza really did me in. Maybe I should wish for a greater understanding when it comes to the exhausting behavior of idiot celebrities on my next wishlist. Speaking of idiot celebrities, LiLo is out and about and looking well…! Wishing you only the best, LiLo…see look – I can be nice.

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Mind Your P’s and Q’s

Posted by AllieB on November 17, 2010

I’ll be the first one to say it – my manners are not impeccable. No need to expound further, but my day to day behavior, particularly at the dinner table, leaves much to be desired. Obviously, when in a more formal setting I am perfectly capable of being the consummate dining companion, not unlike a princess, even (damn you Kate Middleton), it’s just not my default…

Anyway, regardless of my own flaws, I am easily irked by the inappropriate/unacceptable manners of others. Here are things I do not prefer:

  • Smacking. I know – pot, kettle, black – but I’ve gotten lots better and am now truly disgusted by those who do. As a babysitter, I feel it is important to correct the errant ways of children and did so just the other evening. Grace, a precocious seven-year-old girl, was smacking her food so loudly that I had to speak sternly to her about how unattractive it was and that she really ought to stop. She looked at me squarely in the eye and spoke sternly to me about saying “like, yeah” so much – “you don’t sound like you know what you’re talking about,” she said. I then suggested we call it a draw; she agreed, and we shook on it. Touché. Me and Dee Reynolds – shaping the minds of America’s Youth.
  • Slouching. Sit up straight – you’ll look five pounds thinner. If that’s not reason enough, then I can’t help you.
  • To the waiter who wants to bond with the table and goes so far as to scoot into the booth: please don’t. I’m all about building rapport, but if we wanted to sit with you at dinner we would have invited you to join us at dinner. I find it very unsettling to suddenly be touching thighs with a stranger as they take my order…it happened at Tavern 99, and the waiter in question was adorned in the never-not-classy Sexy Referee Uniform. Boundaries.
  • Slurping. Akin to smacking, this is a wholly unappetizing thing to do at the table. I’m starting to feel a bit like Seinfeld…
  • Eating wings in public (Pants, Billy, Dallas, BP – I’m talkin to you).

I think one of my New Year’s Resolutions will be to adjust my behavior to that of a princess every day, formal occasion or no. I bet menfolk will find that more appealing, not to mention the friends and family with whom I frequently enjoy meals.

Dear Mom,

This Thanksgiving I promise to do none of the above.

Your loving daughter,

(Princess) Alexandra

(Source: whatupwithtthat)

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »