Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘TGIT’

That Went Well: A Year in Review

Posted by AllieB on December 18, 2014

When it comes to making personal goals, it’s important to be realistic. I reread the post I wrote back in January that listed out what I hoped to achieve in 2014, and, I must say: I did quite well for myself. There’s that quote on Pinterest, “Shoot for Moon. Even if you miss, you’ll still be among the stars” but I prefer a more grounded and less astronomical approach, and I think we can all agree this strategy made for a pretty impressive year-end review:

1. Use my passport: Oui, je suis allé à France! (thank you Mom and Dad)

2. Be physically active for 30 mins each day: maybe not each day…most days though, for sure. The original post also mentioned “leaving apartment every day” as a goal, and overall I am pleased with my performance. Leaving the apartment on Sundays is not as easy as it sounds.

3. I was a non-presence on the Buzzfeed post “The 30 Dumbest Things Drunk Women Have Ever Done” and I’m wondering where my trophy is?

4. Read less. I did not read less. Some might argue that this is not actually a bad thing, so I will still count the loss as a win. And, while I did not publish anything outside of BBT, I DID work up a portfolio of best works and it’s almost ready to send out…almost. Honestly, I’m getting sick of reading people writing articles that I could have done – like this girl who lived according to the Pinterest Popular Page. I think she did a great job – she’s not annoying and it’s actually a font of useful information (an at-home gel mani that really works!) – but…I wanna do stuff like that. Credit: KReav.

5. Sign up for zero marathons. Well….full disclosure: I did sign up for the New York Marathon but at the behest of my sister Charlotte, and she ran it as me. This will also be filed as a W because now when I Goog myself you Goog me it looks like I not only ran a marathon, but that I hauled ass.

6269, Allie Baxter, New York, 03:38:14.

And I’d be remiss to leave this off my list of triumphs:

6. I unlocked the highest, most premium level of membership at Sephora: VIB Rouge. There was a parade and everything

I plan to ride this wave of success right into 2015.

In other BBT related news, my most read post of the year also happens to be one of my personal faves and is full of legitimately useful information: How to Lose Friends & Alienate People. Another one of my favorite things on BBT this year: this visual aid that I made on Excel using a false set of data to generate a line graph and some clip art (I don’t think enough people read the original post on which it was first featured, and I don’t want anyone to miss out):


I can’t wait to see how this year stacks up :|

So, that went well… I hope you all have similarly positive feelings towards your 2014s.

The most newsworthy news of the week, maybe of month, even possibly of  year: Instagram added five new filters…! This is the first filtration addition since 2012, so it’s a big. freaking. deal. Here they are as shown by me:

new instagram filters

Clockwise from left: Slumber; Crema; Ludwig; Aden; Perpetua. Another tweak is that you can arrange your filters in the order of which you like/use them, so adios Hefe. Q of the D: what would you name an Instagram filter? For some reason “Lush” was the first word that popped into my head, and I can’t get past it. Lush as in lush fabric not lush like “have another cocktail, you lush.” Lush.

I’ve had a hard time getting amped up for the holidaze. I haven’t done any of my own Christmas shopping, and we’re not having our Annual Fireball and Pigs in Blankets Gala…Santa who? When I realized I’ll be back in ATL in just a few days, I was like, wait a minute – that’s only a few days to take advantage of NYC at Christmas, and when I get back it will be January…and you know who’s born in January: the devil.^

^This is according to my line graph, shown above. Will you just look at the damn thing already thank you.

So, I got my sh*t together, and now I’m feeling festive AF. On Tuesday, thanks to ole FlemWad’s planning, we wrapped gifts for children for the USPS Operation Santa project. Bringing joy to others is a great way to get into the holiday spirit. I had to run an errand uptown on Wednesday, so I took a detour down Fifth Avenue to take in the windows of Bergdorf’s, the bling on Tiffany & Co., and the tree at 30 Rock – nothing says Merry Christmas like nudging tourists into oncoming traffic. I have holiday-related activities every night up here before I go, and when I get home to ATL I’m going directly to the light display at the Atlanta Botanical Garden (seriously, do y’all just want to pick me up at the Arts Center Marta station and we can go straight there? LMK)…I might be tardy to this party, but I’m coming in h-o-t.

NYC Christmas

 The pic on the top right is a window at Bergdorf’s. Not sure it really gets my or their point across, but I like all the pretty colors. Merry Christmas from the freaky mannequin.

And now for a demonstration of my signature move: the Irish Goodbye. HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOURS!!! xo

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Posted by AllieB on July 24, 2014

Hi and hello.

BBT is not a place for agenda pushing or controversial talk – I’m not here to stir the pot. I’m also not here to air all my dirty laundry (ew) or document every trivial moment: “Dear Diary, I just made my bed and watered the ficus”…but why not mix things up a little? Today I am heading into some uncharted territory: this post is as much for me as it is for anyone with internet access – which means to say: I’m getting personal. Yep, we’re diving headfirst into the deep end, so…hold onto your swimmies.

It’s real pretty to think that by the age of 31 I could be immune to how others perceive me, but I’ve realized that before I can wholly disregard the opinion of others there’s a more basic and fundamental idea that must first be considered: being comfortable in my own skin. Tantamount to achieving complete contentedness – which, to me, is the ultimate goal – being comfortable in your own skin is the holy grail of life accomplishments, one that I’m not entirely sure can be done in your 30’s, or your 60’s, or maybe ever.

I do think that with age comes thicker skin, as well as a zero tolerance policy for bullshit, the ability to see things how they really are, and I’ve finally accepted that I am the only person whose actions I can control and to worry about or obsess over other people’s choices/behavior is a spectacular waste of time and energy. But to be 100% a-ok with me, inside and out…that’d be neat.

Here’s how things work in my domepiece:

Scenario 1: Sometimes I feel like that others might judge – or on a bad day, pity – me because I am not married or even close, I’ve bounced around jobs and have only recently hit my stride in the corporate world, my apartment is not magazine-ready, and I often go 8 months between hair cuts…I’m not and may not ever be a person you’d describe as “put together”…I’ve been known to commit the not-so-occasional social blunder and when people come to stay with me my idea of cleaning is jamming things in drawers and hurling clothes in closets and hoping they don’t notice… (I DO provide clean sheets and towels and plenty of wine – I’m not disgusting.)

Scenario 2: I am killing it! I moved to New York and it was the best decision I’ve ever made; I make awesome steak tacos and a Garden & Gun worthy Tomato Pie; I’m very handy around the house and live just as easily with others as I do by myself…I’ve been lucky to travel all over the world, and I can wake up at 7:15 and be out the door at 7:25…I have an amazing family and friendships that I’m so sure of, I count them as family, too…I drove a minivan for 8 years and people still hung out with me – like I said: killing it!

When I review the two mindsets in tandem like that, it is easy for me to tell Whiny Allie (#1) to chill out because Cool Allie (#2) is doing juuuuust fine. Sorry I’m not sorry that I don’t have two bedside tables and Oscar Blandi dry shampoo is my most prized possession. This is me – take it or leave it. I hope that marriage and a family and a gazillion dogs are in my future, but these things – they cannot be forced.

One important thing to remember is that people really don’t care about what other people are doing. We are a universally selfish population, and for that I am thankful. We have too much going on in our lives to really think about what so-and-so is doing on a judgmental level – right?? I’m worried people are pitying me – but when have I spent even a second pitying someone for their life choices. I am laughing right now thinking about it. Isn’t it the darndest thing – that I can be such a champion of others yet so hard on myself. We should all just do ourselves a favor and GET A GRIP.

I’ve noticed that you can pretty much blame social media for anything these days, and I’d like to jump on that bandwagon. It seems to me that Pinterest is not so much about “collecting ideas for projects and interests” (per Wiki) as it is an aesthetically pleasing exhibit of all the things other people are doing better than you. I don’t think of it that way on a day to day basis – I’m in there pinning all kinds of stuff without wailing WOE IS ME – but when you take a step back and really mull it over…it’s actually quite rude.

Ok, I think that’s as deep as this well goes. The Man Repeller, an aptly named blog I wrote about in 2k11 that has since blown up into a full-fledged business, posted this week about confidence, and I’d like to share her flow-chart with you. I love a good flow-chart. Bottom line: we’re all a work in progress.


I’m trying not to overthink the oversharing that just went down…vulnerability is not my strong-suit.

Luckily I have a story that will get us back on track – speaking of social blunders….

Last night I did some yogging and some yeights in my office gym (I quit Equinox – F that noise) and was heading out around 8pm. I got in the elevator and saw a woman I used to work with. Sidebar: since I’ve been working out in the office gym more than one person has commented that I am “unrecognizable” during and post-workout because of my “ponytail” – and by ponytail they all mean the freakish red-face affliction from which I suffer after 20 minutes of physical activity. In this particular elevator situation, I figured my ponytail + red face saved me from interaction so I kept my head down and put my headphones in….and as I stepped out the woman I knew yelled, “Allie! Allie! I know that’s you!” Dammit.

“Yes, hi” I turned around to say hey

“Allie,” she said, grabbing my sweaty arm, “I’d like to introduce you to Sarah (aka Fergie), the Duchess of York.”

Of course you would. “Oh hi!” I managed, shaking her hand (of all times to NOT curtsy…)

“Oh my  – look at you! Please, please, go on ahead and – look at you! But yes, lovely meeting you….” Clearly the Duchess paid attention in her etiquette courses – Lesson 5: How to Handle Awkward Social Encounters with Awkwardly Sweaty People.

I just hope she doesn’t tell the OTHER Duchess, Duchess Kate, about our interaction…

so sweaty


The End.

TGIT!!! BTW – BBT turned 4 on Monday…happy birthday and whoa. BBT is a kindergartner.

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Woe Is Me

Posted by AllieB on February 6, 2014

<updated Thursday afternoon 2/6>

So, I have my health, the sun is shining, nearly all of the black ice has melted on the sidewalks, and I just read a most amazing masterpiece entitled: THIS IS THE APPROPRIATE THING TO DO WHEN A STRANGER TEXTS YOU. Like, Allie, what was all that nonsense earlier? I apologize for writing such a depressing post – one of BBT’s founding principles is “no depressing posts” and today…I got all up in my head and forgot about the fundamentals; I forgot who I am. #neveragain #neverforget

L8er dudes

<original post Thursday morning>


These are the reasons why my life, as I know it, is in shambles:

1. I was the victim of subway grossness. There was a man, me, a crowded rush hour car, and….do I have to spell it out? I took my gym bag and sandwiched it between me and…him, jabbing him with my elbow as I did so, and he definitely backed off, but it was awful. People are disgusting. F you dude, seriously.

2. Between The Subway Incident and The Sludge, I’m sorry to say that the honeymoon is over: I am currently in the latter state of my love/hate relationship with NYC. We had a great run, but things have gone south. The Sludge has taken away a piece of my soul I may never get back. I cried real tears making my way to the subway yesterday morning. The wind + horizontal rain + foot-deep “puddles” of mud/snow/ice/pee/poop (that is what Sludge consists of) made me really unhappy. I didn’t know I was allowed to bitch about winter and have been a great sport about it, but if everyone else in the city is, so can I, and now I’ve unleashed a beast I cannot contain. More weather is coming this weekend. I quit.

3. I am very displeased with the outcome of the Top Chef season finale.

how to get up



But I suppose morale could be lower: I could be in Sochi. The journalists have arrived to cover the Games, and, per their tweets and pics, things are not quite ready. This is horrible. I am actually very concerned about the Winter Olympics, from infrastructure issues to something really bad happening, and the more I read (and I’ve been reading a lot), the more worrisome things seem. One reporter for the Chicago Tribune tweeted:

My hotel has no water. If restored, the front desk says, “do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous.” #Sochi2014

Then, a little while later:

Stacy St. Clair ‏@StacyStClair  Feb 3 

Water restored, sorta. On the bright side, I now know what very dangerous face water looks like. #Sochi #unfiltered

View image on Twitter

I really thought that was urine. Sick.

Seriously, things are not in good shape over there, and it sounds like they could get worse, with the U.S. Adding Toothpaste Bombs to the List of Sochi Worries. A writer for Grantland mentioned “toxic sludge filling washbasins” – huh? – and a “hotel maintenance crew kicking down someone’s locked door to install a cable box” which seems altogether unnecessary. Russia says they’re ready and have security measures in place akin to a “ring of steel” – I hope they are right. U-S-A!!!

This is a pretty bleak BBT. I wrote most of it yesterday, when I was in a very bleak place, and I figured that today – Thursday! TGIT! – I would wake up with the usual spring in my step and tweak it armed with a decidedly sunnier disposition. I woke up springless. I’ve gotta get it together, let’s cheer me up…

Jon Stewart had a hard time with what went down in ATL last week, and this is hilarious. Humor at the expense of others is the best medicine

-as far as I’m concerned, David Beckham won the Super Bowl. My goodness.

david beckham super bowl H&M 2014

-a baby elephant faceplant

elephant face plant

-a picture of the city, sans Sludge. Ok, NY, I still love you. We’ll get thru this…there are better days ahead.

bryant park

Bryant Park as seen during a mid-afternoon stroll last spring. I’ll be having lunch al fresco before I know it…ish

-and, of course, this:

hashtag wine

Ok, I feel much better. Enjoy your days.

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BBT’s The Allie Awards

Posted by AllieB on January 16, 2014

If you’re reading this, then you already know: it’s Thursday.

Award season is upon us! I find the Oscars to be a little high-brow for my taste, so I’ve created my own awards: BBT’s The Allie Awards. Just like Lee Daniels did with The Butler, I had to add the BBT part as I did not want to be confused with (or sued by) the Allie Awards in Atlanta which honor excellence in event design, planning, and production. One of their awards is “Best Buffet” – I would’ve been really good at awarding that award. Award. And now, without further ado!

Best Use of Double Sided Tape: Amy Adams, American Hustle. By the end of the movie I wanted to climb into the screen and offer her a turtleneck

amy adams american hustle

could she V any hotter….

Bleakest Film Location: The Prisoners. Conyers, GA is not so scenic.

Best Film Location: Hunger Games: Catching Fire. The Atlanta History Center, on the other hand, is very scenic.

Best Eastern European Accent: Steve Carrell, Despicable Me: 2. I love these movies.

Hottest Actress Who is 23, Australian, and Plays in an Ice Hockey League for Fun: Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wall Street (read that – I was all set to be like, “LAME” but she is a delight!)

margot robbie

oh hey

Best Soundtrack: American Hustle. It’s legit. I’ve always kind of wished I was around in the 70’s…I think it’s my decade-that-should-have-been.

In Memory of the One Who Kept Us Up At Night…RIP Paul Walker: You’re the hottest QB there ever was.

paul walker varsity blues

My awards > The Academy’s.

#NewYorkLife: On Sunday I needed to get from TriBeCa to the West Village, something that is very easily accomplished by hopping on the 1 train right by my apartment. Very easily accomplished unless, of course, it’s No Pants Day on the subway. The only thing worse than a bunch of weirdos riding the New York City subway without their pants is nothing; there is nothing worse. I wound up using a Citibike instead – in spite of strong headwinds, no gloves, and silly flats (I am my own hero) – and, just to be on the safe side, I took a cab home.*

*I have very strict rules about when I can and cannot take cabs. Said rules are constantly changing in accordance to weather, my outfit, time of day, and level of laziness, but they are rigid and ironclad once I choose to apply them.

#NewYorkLife: Yesterday I took a yoga class after work. Due to various variables, I had to bring all my stuff with me to the office. Super-sized satchel + gym bag + YOGA MAT makes for an exciting morning rush-hour commute – lots of slinging things around, and I know I drilled a few people in the peepers. Talk about losing friends and alienating people: I sort of felt like her. Namaste.

worst lady on an airplane SNL

oh yes, and I had on a neck pillow #commutercomfort

Some housekeeping: I updated my Book List this week, and I removed my Atlanta Restaurant Guide. It was time, y’all. If anyone really wants to see a list of where to dine in Atlanta as of July 2012, by all means email me and I’ll send you a copy. Or you can look at it here.

Enjoy what I hope is a long weekend like mine. I’m looking at some chillaxin’, catching up on movies/tv, lbcha’s AND MHM’s bdizzles… Oh, woof – and SoulCycle. Gag me with a spoon. TGIT!

P.S. I’d be remiss to not share these “otherwordly” pics taken of NYC yesterday…this place is the coolest.

NYC fog

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BBT Investigates: What Do Guys Really Want?

Posted by AllieB on December 5, 2013

*specifically, what do guys really want for Christmas. The title is intentionally misleading.

Last year I asked 100 or so of my male and female friends, acquaintances, and frenemies to take a little survey about gift giving and receiving. I took the time to create it, they obliged me in answering it, I tracked and compiled their answers…and then I threw all of our hard work in the crapper. But, today I revisited my hard work and have decided, yes, these insightful questions and revealing answers must be shared! I am aware that I recently said gift guides are not one of my strengths, and that’s still true, but I’m not providing links to artisan cheese boards, I’m giving you the gift of TRUTH…it also adds a little insight into the ever-mystifying minds of the opposite sex. This is more than a gift guide; it’s a guide to life.

Today, per the title, we’ll learn about the dudes. PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE.

boys what they want

The best “Other” response I got was: Like Mariah, all I want for Christmas is ewe. I’m hoping to start a farm. 

You can’t say this wasn’t helpful! Ok fine, other “Other” responses included golf clubs, golf vacation, and golf clubs.

boys ignore girls

The most telling commentary was: If I ignored what she said she wanted and something on my own I would totally fail.

See?? You can’t make these vague references or veiled hints and expect to get what you want, or even remotely what you want. This goes for most things you’re trying to communicate, I’ve learned, just go ahead and spell it out. #lifelessons

dumb when girls ask for

There was some helpful commentary along with this question:

  • All of the above but also something “small”
  • “nothing” and a ring
  • Is it true that when a woman says nothing she means something? I did not expect to learn so much from a quiz. Do women always mean the opposite of what they say? Thanks, BBT!
  • “Oh, I’m sure I’ll love whatever you get me.” Wanna bet?
  • clothes… I have absolutely no idea what size you are. If I guess too big, I think you are too fat… if too small, its a subliminal messages to lose weight – lose lose

I’m sensing a bit of SARCASM from the funny guy in the middle.

The next question wasn’t really graphable:

I will be really pissed if I receive any of the following items:

  • A nicer version of something I already have. I simply don’t give a shit if it’s new. If it isn’t broken, I don’t a replacement.
  • Hemorrhoid Cream
  • a f*cking tie
  • socks or towels
  • more pajama pants
  • fruit cake
  • cologne
  • Jelly of the month club
  • vacuum cleaner
  • owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
  • Slippers
  • Anything I didn’t pick out
  • Any kind of DVD. Also, I don’t need anymore golf shirts.
  • grown up clothes
  • a Nickelback CD
  • A Cookbook

Jeeez, diva central over here.

boys santa

Alright, girls – now you know: be very clear about what you want, don’t even THINK about buying socks, and anything golf-related is probably a safe bet. Wow, Allie, that sure is a lot of brand new information.

Happy Thursday! See y’all next week when we delve into the female psyche…that sounds terrifying.

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