Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘in my old age’

Valentine’s Day. Ew.

Posted by AllieB on February 12, 2015

Valentine’s Day is Saturday, so I guess I’ll go ahead and talk about it.

One of my strengths, I’ve always thought, is how rational I am – I’m being serious. I think it stems from my Middle Child Syndrome and need to maintain the peace, which evolved into my genuine desire to know and understand both sides of a story. Yet, in spite of this high level of enlightenment and willingness to take on opposing perspectives for the sake of journalism and assessing all the various P.o.V’s, I have a very hard time finding anything positive about this media-driven, basic betch of a “holiday.”

Let’s discuss what sux about the 14th of Feb:

~ gifts. You just wrapped up (!) the Holiday season and what’s this – you have to buy another gift?? If you’re smart you combine Saints Valentine & Nick and call it a day. But always always always no matter what get a card. You are a jerk if you don’t get your person a card on Valentine’s Day.

~ prix fixe. Maybe you’re a pretty chill couple and you’re like, “hey, let’s just do a little card swap and go out to eat somewhere, but nothing fancy, just like that XYZ place with the awesome burger.” You call up XYZ and – too bad! They’re doing a prix fixe menu on Valentine’s Day with 12 courses and wine pairings and amuse bouches and there will be a 4-string quartet playing uncomfortably close to your table and that’ll be $400pp please. Or, even worse, you aren’t in a couple and you and some buddies just want to go to XYZ and enjoy the GD burger – not today you’re not!

~ pressure. I don’t know much about this, but it seems like Valentine’s Day could be a real land mine re relationship status and future. I envision a girl anticipating an engagement ring and instead receiving drugstore chocolates and an Amex gift card. Ka-POW.

And now the good stuff insofar as there is any:

~ candy. Valentine’s Day candy is pretty good. It has nothing on Easter, but it’ll tide me over til April

~ my mom’s Sirloin Steak with Peppercorn Sauce followed by Molten Chocolate Lava Cake. A lot happened in 2012: I went to 100 weddings and moved to NYC, but I will never forget VDAY2k12.

~ flowers. Flowers are always nice to have around.

What we can glean from this breakdown is that, above all, Valentine’s Day is an equal opportunity offender and it doesn’t much care about your relationship status; Valentine’s Day is the holiday terrorist.

Here’s what I think: while the fundamental meaning of ValDizz is nice, everything else it entails is not and it’s silly to play into the hoopla generated almost single-handedly by CVS and Kay Jewelers, and what really bothers me is that the third season of House of Cards doesn’t come out until Feb 27th, not this weekend as I’d originally thought. I’m pretty sure I’d say all this even if I were coupled. Whatevs, why don’t y’all come to my place on Saturday and I’ll cook that crack-laced steak my mom makes and we can play Cards Against Humanity?? Game night!

I leave you with a poem I wrote all by myself, straight from the heart:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Valentine’s Day.

Ew.

…well, we all have our strengths. It’s a good thing I’m so rational. Cheers!

WINE

 (Source)

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 7 Comments »

Great for Halloween or Just Fashion

Posted by AllieB on October 29, 2014

Halloween, for me, is meh. With the exception of Wine Gal (she is my superhero alter-ego and she will CUT you with her corkscrew while sipping on a mini-bottle of Cab in order to save a glass a bottle a case of wine), I do not have the best track record of costuming, and 75% of the time I lose interest in assembling the ‘stume before it comes to fruition. When I was a sophomore in college I had a denim jumpsuit that was all the assemblage I needed for an entire year of socials and holidays – redneck social, Halloween, disco – but I stupidly threw it away. I’m still mad at myself: do they even sell J.Lo brand jumpsuits anymore? I only buy denim jumpsuits by J.Lo. I’ll check eBay. (Update: no luck on eBay.)

But what is meh for me is probably awesome for you, and I’m okay with that – we all have our strengths, and I genuinely respect and delight in other people’s talents. One of my favorite things is seeing what ole FJ comes up with for her Halloween look. I’ve shared this at least thrice on BBT and should probably make it the backdrop of my phone given how often I show it to people, but here she is as the Werewolf of London:

The Donk as Werewolf of London. I am terrified yet fascinated

Halloween 2012. Young children cried.

So, instead of stressing about thinking of and creating a costume, I instead found my inner Boppy & Basic BBT – it was a Tuesday, I don’t go to clubs on Tuesdays – and the result, I think we can all agree, was favorable: Melt in Your Mouth Pumpkin Cookies. I made these from scratch using only organic ingredients, sporting Uggs and an apron that said, “Kiss the Cook!” while listening to the new Taylor Swift album on my pink Jambox. I posted a selfie with a dot of flour on my cheek and captioned it, “missed a spot! #pumpkinspiceandeverythingnice #yummy #mycoworkersloveme” Then my roommates and I got in a flour fight and I posted another pic: “Flour Fight!!! #LOL #lovethesegirls #youwishyouhadthismuchfun”

melt in your mouth pumpkin cookies

Even though I accidentally halved the called-for amount of butter (the recipe said FOUR sticks of butter I am not Paula Deen) they are still awesome – perhaps more muffin-like than intended, but I think I’d rather have functioning arteries, ya know? And I obviously used only organic ingredients, but besides that #sensethetone

If you still need costume ideas, here: 32 ‘Sexy’ Halloween Costumes That Make No Sense (‘sexy’ corn and ‘sexy’ body bag are especially…’sexy’), or for those living in ATL – hit up this guy.

mens large 42 reg black trench coat great for halloween costume – $20

image 1

“long black coat great for Halloween or just fashion”

^^ I have been laughing at that ad since Monday (credit: A Social Mess)

 In other news…

-UPenn is offering a class for actual course credit entitled “Wasting Time on the Internet.” A few thoughts: 1. really. 2. do they need a guest speaker 3. as a parent I would be displeased 4. is there a Masters program? 5. I shoulda went to an Ivy League school

**note: I wrote that blurb on Tuesday, and The Skimm mentioned it Wednesday morning, so now I feel cheated. But I’m keeping it in anyway bc who’s to say their description is any better than mine?:

Speaking of things that can make your head spin, the University of Pennsylvania has created a new course called “Wasting Time on the Internet,” where students will be required to do just that.

See? It’s just different. But if y’all are hiring…holla

-Dang, this city…. credit: K

NYC from above

THEY FOUND AMELIA EARHART?! <crosses off #6 on List of Things To Do>

-the Fireball/Anti-Freeze scare is just in Europe, chill. We’ll still be having our Fireball Christmas Party in December.

best dog in the world??  Probably: Bandit takes under 30 seconds to fetch his human a beer – and he even makes the fridge door is properly shut. If I had a dog I’d get to work on this trick immediately.

-CharBaxMaines is running her TWENTIETH marathon this weekend – she’s coming in town for the NYC race and I will doggedly go to two of the five boroughs to cheer her on. Cheering people on as they run 26.2 miles is really quite tiring. #sisteroftheyear

Happy Hump Day & Halloween! Love, Wine Gal

 Not the best pic: you can barely see WG’s fanny pack – tho that is a nice shot of the cape, but in all the other photos, well…her strength (wine) had become her weakness (too much wine).

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Dear 22-Year-Old Self…

Posted by AllieB on May 29, 2014

Today’s post is not by me, but my great friend Amy whom you all know as “A.” She posted the following ruminations on Facebook this week, and, based on the obscene number of likes, it really resonated with people – I know it did with me, and I’d be remiss to not share here on BBT. Without further ado…

Sure, it’s been done – and whelp I did it too. For those who know me – you know – I write. I write for work, I write to write and hell, I write to get out of my own head. A few months ago, I overheard a girl’s convo on the plane… she had just turned 22; I had recently turned 31 (omg). Gah to be 22 again or 25 or 28 (or not!). It triggered this stream of consciousness… I found it yesterday, re-read it and re-read it again. Maybe you’ll find a nugget or two that speaks…

[edit free. don’t judge typos.]

What I would tell my 22-year-old self…and sometimes have to remind my 31 year-old self.

Don’t stress the small stuff.

Be nicer

Get over yourself. You’re actually not too cool for a lot of things.

Words hurt  – and linger

You can’t actually just get away w anything.

Forgive.

Boys will hurt you, get over it. They’re not worth it.

There will be one that’s worth it; he’ll make you laugh when you want to cry. He won’t disappear when things suck. He won’t be perfect, he’ll just do everything to make you think he is. Be kind to him. Be very kind to him, but don’t smother him. Don’t let him smother you. And be patient.

Trust

Have faith

Dance when no one else is

Respect yourself, respect others no matter their ‘status’ in life.

Take advantage of every single moment w your girlfriends. Your lives will inevitably take different paths- embrace every second.

Be in the moment. Take it all in.

Don’t drink Bella Pinot or Cavit….magnums…in one sitting.

Life is too short to drink bad wine! Enjoy it.

Be smart.

Talk smart.

Walk smart.

Be witty, be clever, be funny. It’s okay if people don’t get it.

Embrace your eccentricity – there will be haters, but there will be lovers. You’re weird. Own it. The right people will join in your weirdness. The right person will fall in love w you for it – and you’ll love him.

TRAVEL – culture makes the world better – embrace it, incorporate it.

Don’t obsess over your weight or your clothes.  If you like it, makes you feel good. Do it. Just own it.

Failing is okay. It’s a must – makes for some of the best growing and excelling. So take risks – at work, at life, at love.

There is no such thing as perfection.

Attention from boys does not define how pretty or lovable you are.

Respect your parents. Listen to their advice, they actually do have a clue.

Spend more nights at home.  JOMO is better than FOMO.

Take every opportunity to go…travel…experience it. Don’t drink it into oblivion. Remember the moments.

4 inch heels in every color do actually go out of style. And hurt your back! So do tube tops.

No make up, long hair and all natural do not. Comfort is king…But do your best to look good sporting it!

Moderation is key.

Don’t skip your workout – but don’t beat yourself up if you do.

Put your phone down.

Always take pictures.

Keep some of your secrets!

Health is the ticket to a mentally and physically happy life.

There is life beyond breakups and heartache. True story.

Broken hearts make bigger stronger hearts. More enduring hearts. More compassionate hearts. More appreciative hearts.

You will be self-sufficient.

It is your job to make you happy, and never at the expense of others.

You’re gonna have to work your ass off. Period. Do things you love.

You have to try and you have to try again.

You must be open-minded and tolerant.

Never take a cheap laugh at the expense of someone else.

Relax. Hit the reset button And move on.

Vacations never get old.

Neither does red lipstick.

Or simple pleasures like fresh air Or floating in the ocean. Or driving with your windows down, or catching the sunset at the exact right moment or your favorite song when u need it most. Or the moment someone makes you smile…when your day seems bleak. Take in the little things. Don’t be too distracted and miss them.

Make out sessions get even better; Don’t trade them in for anything. But choose wisely. Save your kisses, but don’t hoard them!

Don’t use your sexuality to manipulate someone.

Be empowered to take control of it- as much as you want to give in. Hold it close.

Keep your heart open. Even after it’s been tampered with. It heals. It gets stronger. Use it, like any other muscle, or it will get weak.

Go to church.

Pray – not for what you want- for what you have in your life. Talk to God everyday, start your day w Him, and end it w Him- not just when you’re sad or feeling weak – when your strong and things are just right.

Give thanks.

Always say thank you.

Don’t tail old people on the road. Be patient. You’ll be old and slow one day too!

Never judge. Never. You have no idea what other people are dealing with. Life is water.

Smiling resting face is better than bitchy resting face.

Overcome your ego. It only holds you back and forces unwise decisions.

Learn something new everyday. Never stop learning and absorbing. Read. Write.

Keep day dreaming. studies now say you’re more creative if you let yourself!

Towel time gets better with age!

Take care of your body. Eat well. Sleep well.

Yoga is the best for the mind and body.

Find balance, set your intention.

Be in control, but be willing to let go.

Listen. Shut your mouth and just listen.

Be at peace with life. Love yourself. Love others. Wholly.

You’ll love music forever. You’re mixing the soundtrack of your life- so be free, make it good, but choose wisely…

True dat, A. Wisdom: imparted. You don’t have to agree with everything – it’d be weird if you did – but a little self-reflection never hurt anyone, ya know? Even if it’s just for a moment or two. The bad news is that we’ll never be 22 again, but the good news is…we’ll never be 22 again. With age comes wisdom…and vacations :)

I think I’ve out-EMO’ed myself. To you and yours: a very happy Thursday and weekend!

re: girlfriends and travel...check!

guest author A – AllieB – K at The Breakers last weekend. I do know that my 22-year-old self could not have planned a last minute trip to the beach with two favorites… #30yroldperks

 

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Best Week Ever

Posted by AllieB on April 25, 2011

OMIGOSH Kate is getting married on FRIDAY. I am setting my alarm for 4 AM. I’m going to pre-purchase mini scones from Starbucks and have lots of English Breakfast Tea on hand and it’s going to be a wonderful time.

Source – I hope they still do this blog post-wedding…

In a totally unexpected turn of events, I managed to stick to my Lent for the duration – trust me, I’m more surprised than anyone. For 40 days I abstained from both ravioli and hoegaarden…the mind reels. Dinner tonight will be portobello ravioli from Trader Joe’s, and if anyone would like to go to Treehouse this week, I will join you and indulge in a $5.50, 180 calorie hoegaarden.

Well, Kate might be marrying the future King of England on Friday, but I have my Ten Year High School Reunion. Allie: 1, Kate: 0. I was thinking about making up some kind of outlandish story about what I’ve been up to over the last decade – for my own entertainment more than anything else, but then I realized that I am on Facebook and have this blog and am still very close with most of my high school pals, so it’s really no secret what I’ve been up to…plus, I’m not actually boring and have plenty to talk about…it’ll be fine. Maybe even fun.

Senior Fun Day - a day of fun for seniors

Oh.My.Goodness. You don’t need sound, but you do need to watch (credit: Dinka)

Best week ever, indeed.

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Turkey Dizzle

Posted by AllieB on November 23, 2010

I think I’m pretty much maxed out in the arena of giving thanks – at least re: the blogosphere, so instead of going on and on about perspective and how lucky we are and blah blah, I’m going to talk about something else.

Let’s see…

After much research and consideration about what to contribute to the Baxter Fam T-Giving feast, I’ve decided to stick to the age-old adage KISS and will be serving the following hors d’oeuvre. It’s beyond delicious (credit: Paula Deen by way of Boss Lady) and so super healthy….

Sugar and Nut Glazed Brie

Ingredients

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1/4 cup chopped macadamia nuts or pecans

1 tablespoon brandy

1 (14-ounce) round brie

Apple wedges, for serving

Pear wedges, for serving

2 to 3 tablespoons lemon juice

Crackers, for serving

Directions

In a small bowl stir together the sugar, nuts, and brandy. Cover and chill for at least 24 hours or up to 1 week.

Preheat oven to 500 degrees F.

Place the brie on an ovenproof platter or pie plate. Bake for 4 or 5 minutes or until the brie is slightly softened. Spread the sugar mixture in an even layer on top of the warm brie and bake for 2 to 3 minutes longer, or until the sugar melts. Brush the fruit wedges with lemon juice and arrange them around 1 side of the brie. Place crackers around the other side.

I feel confident I can handle this. Two years ago I managed to ruin microwave green beans, and last year I spent approximately five hours slaving over a dish that was allegedly “easy” and only took “30 mins prep time.” Psssh. Holy crap that looks really tasty.

For how much I go on about it in real life, I feel I don’t give Trader Joe’s enough credit on this thing. From the wine to the produce to the veggie chips to the AMAZING Parmesan Pastry Puffs, there is nothing I don’t love about TJ’s. Last night I made my thrice-weekly sojourn to my local market, and I would just like to say thank you to the gentleman who checked me out: “Alexandra,” he said, as he looked at my I.D., “you’re doing okay for yourself – you still look like you’re about 17.” It may or may not have had something to do with my message tee and side-pony braid, but whatevs – I’ll take what I can get. (Note: PEARL! Sorry I’m not sorry.)

ha. hahaha.

Posted in Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »