Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘France’

In a perfect world…

Posted by AllieB on July 31, 2014

In a perfect world…

- pizza = kale

– Instagram automatically blocks all uploads with the caption “not bad for a Monday” and people who – in my opinion – post too much are limited to one photo per week. May I suggest Snapchat? Snapchat is a nice, disposable way to overshare. Also, you don’t have to use hashtags… #mostofyoushouldnot

– my Seamless order always comes in 15 minutes, even when the estimated time of arrival says 45-60 minutes

– the cute guy on the subway would not be married/5’4″/have halitosis.

– I would pay $475/month for rent, which is what the students at the University of Georgia (and surrounding community colleges, let’s be honest) moving into this ‘Jersey Shore Goes to Athens’ development are paying. Is this for real?? A LAZY RIVER?!

athens ridge apartments pool

in addition to the lazy river, there is also a 20 ft outdoor tv and 25 person hot-tub. they should prob go ahead and add an on-site physician to treat all those “rashes” and have people sign release forms for the inevitable reality show

– Crimes Against Humanity would be punishable by law. No longer would we have to wait for karma to be the bitch – we could instantly dictate some sort of penalty befitting the nature of the crime. For example, when that jerk stole my cab on 18th and 8th the other night I could sentence him to a month-long inability to flag down any cabs and blackball him from Uber. That’d teach him. In a perfect world you can’t treat people like sh*t and get away with it, and your Crime Against Humanity would be promptly and properly handled. Perhaps one of those rashes going around that cesspool in Athens would make you think twice…

– dishwashers unload themselves

– much like the Red Sea parted for Moses so do the tourists on 42nd Street for me

– the girl in the Wendy’s commercial doesn’t exist. Neither do the Kardashians, Real Housewives, or LeAnn Rimes. Blake Lively isn’t allowed to speak and Channing Tatum is my boyfriend. I really don’t know what is up with my Channing Tatum crush, but it’s proving to stand the test of time/judgement of my peers.

guys, c'mon - how cute is this

guys, c’mon – how cute is this

– four-day work weeks – this could happen, y’all

– I can teleport anywhere I care to go. I could just suddenly appear in your living room or at the bday party or next to you on the beach. I would never miss anyone or anything again. SURPRISE IT’S ME ALLIE!

– happy hour on a boat has the same benefits as a Flywheel class – they are equidistant from my apartment, surely their physical impact should be equal as well?

– I WOULD HAVE SO MANY PUPPIES

PUPPIES

 Summering in Montauk with all of my puppies

Dang…reality bites.

For those of you who read books, I have the following titles teed up on my Kindle – I am too lazy to add summaries, but I did add genre you are welcome:

Big Little Lies by Lianne Moriarty (chick lit)

One Plus One by Jojo Moyes (chick lit)

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed (memoir – Reese Witherspoon stars in movie coming out in Oct)

Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline (fiction)

Close Your Eyes, Hold Hands by Chris Bohjalian (fiction)

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (historical fiction – WWII)

Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt by Michael Lewis (nonfiction)

I Like You Just the Way I Am by Jenny Mollen (memoir – chick lit)

The Heist by Daniel Silva (mystery)

Lastly, I implore you to take a minute and watch this vid – it’s overwhelming to think about all that’s wrong with the world, but it’s also pretty neat to see what a difference you can make on a very small, local level. In a perfect world we would all be so considerate. I really love this – thanks, A.

The End. This weather is redonk – you should all have drinks outside on patios/rooftops this evening, as I intend to. TGIT!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Do as I say, never as I do

Posted by AllieB on April 20, 2011

I wish I could say, “disclaimer: the following story didn’t actually happen” or something, but I cannot. I swear I’m not a total social retard – like, I know I’m not – but when I fail, I do so spectacularly.

Cut to: Saturday at Kramers. I was sitting casually at the bar, as I did for entirely too long that day, and I found myself without anyone to talk to. Since I am comfortable sharing this detail, it is obvious that I am not a loser, I just am by myself sometimes. . . anyway, there I was, sitting, and I thought, hey – why not meet someone new. So I turned to the gentleman sitting a few seats down from me, assessed the situation, and tried to think of something to say.

Me: Did you know your beer is frozen?

Him: <stares at the obviously frozen beer, then back at me> Yeah, I actually did notice that.

Me: I hate it when that happens…did you, uh, bring it from home?

Him: <with a look that could only be described as pity, swivels on stool, conversation terminated>

No. He did not bring his frozen beer from home, Allie, YOU IDIOT.

I’m going to change the subject.

Last night I made a really delicious omelette – how the H do you spell omlette?!? Anyway, I sauteed some green peppers, onions, and shrooms, poured in my egg whites, added some mozz cheese and a liberal douse of Tabasco and voilà!

Admittedly, this is not a photo of my meal – mine was slightly less photogenic. Things went awry when Missy Baxter tried to eat the homemade chocolate chip cookie dough I’d just made, and I had to leave my egg-based creation unattended over open flame…whatevs, it still tasted great, and I had a grapefruit to go with it. Bon appétit, indeed.

Speaking of Français, my parents stayed here last night. I’m stuck wrassling over cookie dough with the dog while they’re sipping champagne in Champagne.

:|

Lastly, Grindhouse Killer Burgers opened a new outpost yesterday, conveniently located on Piedmont in Morningside, complete with liquor license and patio, not to mention their famously awesome burgers. BP & Pantalones – we can hit that up for Friday lunch.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Nostalgia: France

Posted by AllieB on October 20, 2010

For no other reason than that I haven’t had a new Facebook album since June, I decided to post random pictures from the Baxter Family trip to France back in August. Staying at my aunt and uncle’s home was beyond incredible, and we really did have such a good time – I am ready for a return trip!

Chateau Cerisay - clockwise from top right: front door, moat, chapel, grounds, main house. TAKE ME BACK!

Anecdote: my aunt and uncle have become friendly with the neighbors, and they were kind enough to invite us over for a cook-out. The host of the party, we’ll call him Jacques, was charming, flamboyant and an amazing cook.

I have always been of a proponent of really indulging oneself on vacation – no limits, really take advantage of the culture, cuisine, etc. This means to say: I helped myself to the food and wine. At one point he saw me taking a second chicken kabob, and he inquired, “Oh, is that for your little sister?” Embarrassed, I assured him that yes, it was (not). Shortly thereafter he came over to where Jordan and I were sitting, and the following conversation ensued:

Jacques: “Deed your seester geeve you her kabob?”

Jordan: “No.”

Jacques (to me): “Non! You ate that?! A second kabob?!”

Me (humiliated with a side of rosacea): “Um, yes…you know what they say about vacation – lots of wine and lots of food!”

Jacques: “Mais oui, to have lots of wine – that is very Franche, but to have two kabobs…that is SO not Franche.”

Oh the shame. I tried to joke with him later about the incident, saying I should probably run wind sprints home to work off the second kabob, and he responded in a decidedly non-joking manner, “But of course!! That eees a good idea!!”

Note to self re: future travels – do as the locals do, not as obese Americans do…

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »