Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘you’re welcome’


Posted by AllieB on October 4, 2011

According to several close friends, it is 90% of the reason why they like me. It’s taken me on adventures ranging from Dora the Explorer (G-rated) to I Shouldn’t Be Alive (no, seriously). It has been a surprisingly effective character building exercise, one that I have not taken to kindly. It’s my…MINIVAN!!!

Credit: Leila

Correction: was my minivan. As of yesterday, I no longer hold the title to this vehicle. I know it happened fast and that no one really got a chance to say goodbye, but if you feel inclined to pay your respects you can find it by Home Depot sitting in front of my parents’ covered in angry notes from the neighbors.

Physically, it is not in great shape. The headlights are secured by packing tape thanks to two separate accidents from January 2k10. The roof has a large dent from when a certain ABEV climbed on top and had a solo dance party to Scissor Sisters tune “I don’t feel like dancing.” Turns out – he really did feel like dancing. This dent was especially fun when it would rain, and it would collect a reservoir of water just waiting to gush in my open window when I pulled down a hill. I cursed you many a morning, ABE…many a morning. He did offer to pay for the cost of repair, but that issue quickly took a back seat to what was going on elsewhere.

Mechanically, it’s very sound – seriously. But many moons of randomness have amassed in the thing and who knows what’s in there. Items that you may or may not find in the van include: a bridesmaid dress, sombrero, Christmas tree, coffee maker, that earring you lost in 2007, three people’s debit cards, the last horcrux, and 7-12 fleece jackets.

Parting is not such sweet sorrow. I do, however, look forward to wearing my message tee featuring the message shown at the right. Sydney gave that to me years ago, but I haven’t been able to wear it because it becomes decidedly less funny when you actually drive a minivan. No longer will I have to deal with the confused guys at the valet…or the understandably confounded mothers at the gas station who would get a look/whiff of the interior and wonder if I actually transported children around (no). I’ll tell you one thing, though, between the car itself and the Westminster Catbackers and Peachtree Presbyterian stickers, the van was pretty great for flying under the radar…

I’m already getting a little nostalgic – maybe I will have a memorial service. I bet Kramer would host it. Also, for those of you who only liked me for my ride, maybe it’s time to be a little less shallow, huh?

Anyway, so that happened.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 12 Comments »

Stranger’s Day

Posted by AllieB on August 24, 2011

In the same vein of what I think we can all agree is one of the more brilliant holidays – Make Someone Uncomfortable Day (it goes Christmas > my birthday > MSUD > T-Giving) – I bring you the under-publicized, under-valued, and certainly under-celebrated: Stranger’s Day.

The point of Stranger’s Day, from what I can gather (I’ve been doing some goog’ing, and it seems that SD hasn’t really taken off – YET), is to share garbage valuable and cherished items with someone you do not know. It’s almost like doing a Random Act of Kindness, if you think about it. I’m not sure how you go about actually sharing said item, so for now we’ll keep it viral – i.e., photo sharing via the interweb. Bob Mankoff, author of this article from the New Yorker, has shared some things that he might like to share with a stranger, including but not limited to:

Another flea market find I’d like to share with you, dear Stranger.

That shiz is creepy. I am still unpacking my apartment (BAXTER, finish the drill), and I’ve come across an assortment of items I think I will share in honor of Stranger’s Day, including but not limited to:

Here you will find some items great for any home: a bedraggled poster from a food festival I attended eight ago as well as a piece of original art by moi. Value: priceless.

You are welcome, Stranger.

This veritable smorgasboard is just plain useful. From top left: a lei for your wrist or ankle, an only slightly used, fragrance-free candle, a wallet for your shoe, and Happy Birthday!

That is the ugliest f-ing candle I have ever seen. I’m embarrassed that it’s even in my possession.

Sorry for that one, Stranger.

Here, Stranger: my friends and family can be your friends and family, too.

That is a particularly nice headshot of JBax on the lower left – treasure that one.

Stranger, here is a New York notepad (gifted to me by MCL, I believe) that is not only useful, but is also imparting some wisdom that I some borderline illiterate idiot scribbled on it…

Someone’s getting lucky today, these are some hot ticket items…I recommend browsing your desk drawer at work, or that basket where all the crap goes that you don’t want to look at – one person’s trash is truly another person’s treasure.

There was an earthquake yesterday on the East Coast – people are making light of it, but really? Have you seen the devastation – the horror??

Seriously, you need to be eating Eggo nutri-grain waffles. They are the bomb.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Friday Flyer

Posted by AllieB on June 24, 2011

Clark Howard has a program on his daily talk show on Fridays called the Friday Flyer. As I’ve mentioned before, I love all things Clark Howard, so I’m going to have one too. Last week I talked about Yacht Week and how I wanted to go (incidentally, yet another person with whom I am acquainted is now going and they’ll be on the Southern Croatian route – hint: it’s not me :|), and this week I share with you a collection of roof top bars across the world. I’ve actually been to one of them, which is why I’m even talking about it – sometimes I have to one-up myself to bolster my spirits.

Drinks on patios are my favorite thing, but drinks on a patio that is on a roof with a dramatic cityscape is really my favorite thing – case in point: The Sky Bar in Bangkok. It’s on the 64th floor of the second tallest building in the city. Kewl, right? That one in Madrid looks awesome, too….traveling is my favorite.

Here are some interesting facts with which to dazzle a member of the opposite sex this weekend – forget cheesy pick-up lines, drop a truth bomb of truth and I bet you’ll get way further:

  • A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h. – upon saying this, I think it would be funny to sneeze
  • A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue – ew
  • Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying – I wonder if that’s really true?
  • Whoever you were trying to talk to has definitely walked away by now. But at least you’re smarter than you were a second ago.

Titillating conversation starters, all of those.

While it wasn’t the Sky Bar in BKK, the vista from Kramerica’s patio last night was pretty dec…as was my carne asada taco from Tex’s Tacos. I try to have at least one/week, and they get better every time. So do the lime chips. And the guac.

courtesy: Leila Ann’s iPhone…….

Happy weekend, Friendsicles*

*I borrowed this from the QT email that blew up the internet yesterday…most ridiculous story eva. That’s pretty much the only part of the email I can reference.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »