Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Common sense: turns out – not so common

Posted by AllieB on February 2, 2011

I don’t like going to the gym. I prefer to do my yogging outside – only heavy rain and wind will send me to el gimnasio, as was the case last night. It’s not so much the actual working out part that bothers me, it’s the people who decide the gym is a total free-for-all and completely abandon the basic manners they learned in kindergarten, like,  “don’t interrupt” and “it’s impolite to stare.”

I would genuinely like to know what part of profusive sweat, noise-canceling earphones, and heavy breathing says, “please come talk to me,” but some people seem to think it’s prime time to initiate a mindless convo.  Small talk is awkward enough as is – small talk whilst doing reverse crunches is the equivalent to what I imagine water-boarding is like.

That is why I am not a member of one of those massive chain facilities where women wear normal bras beneath their sports bras and guys make use of the free tanning beds – from what I’ve heard, those places are hotbeds for unpleasant and untimely socializing. Even though I do have several friends who work out where I do, we simply nod at each other and continue on our way…if this is the protocol with people to whom I am actually close, then it should surely apply to mere acquaintances.

My other point of issue is that, yes, I know my face turns red. We call this Dance-floor Allie, or Red-faced Allie, or Summertime Allie – whatever scenario aptly describes why my face has gone vermilion. At any rate, there is no need to stare, much less make remarks – both happen to me frequently and it’s really very offensive. Honestly, How Rude!

Credit: Hilary. These aren’t great photogs, but that is a nice shot of Dancefloor Allie..

Actually, I saw a girl on the treadmill yesterday whose face was not so much red as a purple-y maroon…it kinda reminded me of the sky right before a really bad storm – literally, it looked like her head was about to explode. At least mine airs on the side of tomato…if I were her, I’d probably consider an at-home workout regimen. Also, in keeping with the theme of my post, I would like to note that I neither stared at nor remarked upon her condition; I am simply reporting it here on BBT.

I saw the Hall Pass trailer for the first time last night – it looks funny! Also, it was fun to spot all the places in Atlanta where they filmed stuff for the movie. Applebee’s on Lindbergh and Johnny’s Hideaway were obvious venues in the clip I saw. Of course, I know there was some filming done at Cantina in Terminus as I actually hung out with Owen Wilson et al one evening…it was a very brief encounter. I described the meet & greet in post this fall – it did not go well.

A screenshot of the trailer – anyone between the ages of 20 and 60, possibly 70?, who ever “goes out on the town” in ATL can surely recognize that ceiling…

5 Responses to “Common sense: turns out – not so common”

  1. :I said

    AMEN. Sorry I cant express how much I don’t want to talk to you with my body language because I’m mid-crunch, but in the name of all things sacred.. stop talking to me and go. away.

  2. Uncle J said

    Stephanie Tanner is the only human who has successfully pulled off bangs since 1989. Besides, of course, Uncle Jesse.

  3. Asian Flush said

    We’ll assume the bangs trauma had nothing to do with her later addiction to meth.

  4. They should make 1 lb weights said

    It should also be a rule that trainers not employed by you cannot correct your form or demand “deeper” or “three more” when you’re minding your own biz. It doesn’t encourage me to come back and it deepens the red color of my already beet red mug. Thx, Gym Visitor, Not Member

  5. Ginny branch stelling said

    1. Your blog is freaking hilarious.
    2. Are you sure that maroon girl wasn’t me? I get red like it’s my job. Ed tells me I look like I’m about to die anytime I dance/work out.

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