Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘what do I want for lunch?’

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An Open Letter to the Internet

Posted by AllieB on November 13, 2014

I am mad at the internet. Between Taylor Swift’s new album and Kim Kardashian’s oily photo shoot, I am actually feeling feelings of legit anger. I am  unwittingly in the know about every single moment of Taylor’s life and am somehow now intimately acquainted Kim’s nether regions. I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW OR SEE ANY OF THAT. The over-exposure and inexhaustible self-promotion of these two women and their “art” really bothers me. I don’t follow Taylor Swift or Kim Kardashian on any form of social media, but they are unavoidable – from TIME Magazine to every single pop culture news outlet – and I want out. What’s more: I want the option to opt out. I feel like the internet has taken away my right to choose.

That said, I’m also a little mad at Taylor Swift. Promoting a new album is a musician’s job. You give interviews, you go on tour, you give free shows on morning news programs and appear on magazine covers. You tweet and you post on Instagram and you get your fans excited. Taylor Swift invited fans TO HER HOUSE for cookies. Taylor Swift inked a deal with the CITY OF NEW YORK to be its global ambassador even though she moved here in March. March of 2014. Speaking of, I’d like to note that Taylor Swift’s New York is that of the .0000007% and bless the tweens from Middle America who think their TriBeCa loft and black SUVs are but a Greyhound ride away. And although the entire music industry has imbibed the kool-aid served up at Taylor ‘s house parties, giving her album 5 star reviews across the board, I can’t bring myself to listen to a single song or watch the new music video that’s getting all the hype – I won’t even link you to it, I am standing strong!

And I’m always mad at Kim Kardashian. I think KimK is actually a robot and definitely has butt implants and is dead inside and I’m sure is very nice but only because she was programmed that way and her motherboard can only handle a very limited range of emotion. She is what’s wrong with everything that is going wrong.

While I do take issue with both Taylor and Kim personally - clearly - I am more more frustrated with the bigger picture. The ebola frenzy of recent weeks really annoyed me, too, but even coverage of that has waned significantly. And I’m not some highbrow consumer – believe you me, I’d much rather click thru on an article about 17 tips for getting ready after a sweaty workout-minus the shower over one about Vladimir Putin and something about the Ukraine, but that is my choice. The obsessive and ceaseless nature of documenting and reporting Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian has forcibly burdened me with information I did not want or seek out, and therein lies my main issue. I also recognize that resistance against these two is futile – case in point: I am writing about them right now – and it’s clear to me I have but one option: I must move to Appalachia. The End.

—

OK I feel much better, and I don’t even feel bad because I know that TSwizz would just Shake It Off saying “Hater’s gonna hate!” while cashing a check for gazillion dollars, and KimK can’t feel anything stronger than “slightly perturbed” so no harm, no foul.

I do realize the irony of a tirade against the internet…on the internet…but no one stopped to listen when I set up my soap box in Bryant Park.

My apologies to MelBoo and KReav for this outcry against Taylor Swift, but you’ve gotta tell your girl to pipe down.

What’s for lunch?

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

For dudes, by dudes

Posted by AllieB on May 2, 2012

One thing I really appreciated during BBT’s prolonged hiatus was that, even though I’d gone by the wayside, people still sent me ideas/links/articles/pictures that they thought might be relevant. In many instances they were wrong, and the material wasn’t the least bit relevant, but with some they definitely were on point. RD: I’m looking at you. He sent me Bearings  “A Southern Lifestyle Guide for Men” (join me in my hypothermia-inducing nerd chills), and, while the subtitle was not my favorite, I came around after some browsing. Namely because they talk a lot about food.

1. A list of Buford Highway eateries. This is really helpful. While there are some veritable gems along the international corridor that is Buford Highway, there are also some very serious misses…and you wouldn’t want to accidentally go to the one that actually does serve alley cat in lieu of mystery meat.

2. A best-of restaurant list with sub-lists. Best Patio, Best Burger, Best Steakhouses, Best Breakfasts, Best BBQ…and more. Maybe I need to join forces with Bearings? Or, even better! I can do a female version…what would we call it…GRITS: You Are What You Eat…no, that’s no good. That doesn’t even make sense. Moving along.

3. This delicious recipe for Thai-Style Baby Back Ribs. Someone is more than welcome to cook these and then invite me over to try them.

Anyway, check it out…there’s a lot of interesting stuff: articles about wine, interviews with up and comers…I take back what I said about the nerd chills. This is legit.

And now, in other news……Eli Manning is hosting SNL on Saturday. The promos are great – I think it will be funny!

I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty excited about The Avengers, opening this Friday. I don’t think I’ll go see it at midnight of opening day as Claire and I may or may not have done for the Hunger Games…….but I’m excited.

Another thing we may or may not have done is pose on the Red Carpet.

The other day my boss told me I look like Drew Barrymore.

Sure. Why not.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY! Go Braves! Go Hawks! Sports!!!

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Mediocre at Best

Posted by AllieB on January 6, 2012

I’m not really one for late night talk shows, but the other night I watched The Best of Conan – that wasn’t what it was called, but that’s what it was – and it was hilarious. I even made notes in my archaic smartphone device about the particularly funny segments so I could share on BBT. The first is a commercial for the world’s most expensive toilet. I guess you don’t technically need sound, but I just watched without it and it was much less funny…retract: you do need sound.

The other note I made to myself was “Newt owes Tiffany money” and I have no idea what I was talking about, so I guess that’s it.

Yesterday was a fun day on BBT. I think I’ll do more flow charts in the future – I’ve just barely dipped my toe in the wonder that is Power Point, and I think I like it.

The Duchess Catherine of York – Princess Kate – turns 30 on Monday!! It was this time last year that my obsession fondness for her was just heating up…I wish she could get married every year. According to NYMag, her birthday party is going to be 80’s themed!! I’m a bit confused as to why that long-torsoed Pippa left me off the guest list…wtf, Pippa? I really took the whole Kate thing to a new level on BBT…it even has its own category…looking back, I’m thinking that the “single white female” comments were not so much jokes as expressions of concern. If you’d like to take a trip down memory lane, I suggest “Hair Emergency” – not only do I discuss the gloriousness of Kate’s (and my own) hair, but I also rain some truth on J Simps and Taylor Swizzle. Good times.

I think I need to expand my horizons….but not today. Happy weekend!!! Keep it classy like Liz Lemon.

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

My picture is on Perez Hilton

Posted by AllieB on December 16, 2011

Earlier today I received an email from my friend Allison aka Pal that included a teeny confession she’d previously neglected to share:

So like a year ago I wrote a half-serious email to Perez Hilton about Allie’s blog and that he should read it and hire her. I was just bored at work. And I included a picture. And now we’re on Perez Hilton.

Say what? I go to the site – one I honestly do not frequent – and sure enough:

Here, see for yourself.

There are like 97 other pictures of the two of us I would have chosen over this one….but whatevs. That was a great night: Basil’s patio with ABE the V and Paxton…we sure did laugh a lot, and that was the first time I had the life-changing grits AND the first time I tried vinho verde – a very tasty Portuguese varietal that I later wrote about here…but I digress. We actually look pretty normal compared to the other people – the other people who took the time to send Perez a photo professing their undying love and affection. Good grief. I tried to post a comment with a link to BBT, but it hasn’t shown up yet…may as well try to get some new readers out of this HUMILIATION.

Oh, and after their incident in the dressing room at Barney’s Co-op the other weekend, Allison sent Sloane Crosley an FB message, and now they’re writing back and forth. And the mother of the girl who writes Suri’s Burn Book has been reading BBT this week, too. The writer lives in Atlanta, btw – maybe she and I should meet for coffee and talk about the blogosphere? I am whelmed.

**3.5 years later, BBT says: I really love this. And that’s a great pic! My 15 minutes came and went so quickly <overcome with nostalgia, sighs deeply, returns to day job>

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

It happened; it’s over

Posted by AllieB on November 15, 2011

I guess I’m due for a follow-up post about my TV debut. Saturday went…okay. I don’t know if I’m cut out for showbiz, there’s a lot of waiting around and patience is not a virtue I really possess. The good news is: I wasn’t a total spaz. The slightly less good news: the dish I was assigned to talk about was this new one called Texicana Fries. It’s the amazing chili lime fries piled high with carne asada, guac, and cheese – it was delicious. However, I had to take a bite of this tower of delight on camera and of course wound up with like half the serving in my mouth. It took me over a minute to chew it all. I am confident this will not make the final cut, but it might show up on the Bloopers – wonderful. I have no idea when this will air, and once I find out I will pass it on to you. IRREGARDLESS, it was an awesome opportunity for Tex’s, which is really what matters most. (And here’s their schedule for the week.)

Communist Russia is coming to Atlanta! Just kidding, an ice bar called CZAR is opening up in Buckhead – from the looks of it, it’s going to be part of the E. Andrews bloc that is taking over that entire building…hmm, maybe I’m onto something…anyway, if you’re in need of some after-hour employment, this might be just the opportunity for you! Per the Craigslist posting:

Looking for attractive and in shape staff. Ability to speak Polish, Russian, Czech, Ukranian, German, Austrian, Croation, etc. and/or have the accent is a huge plus.

Bar will be made entirely of ice/glassware made of ice/featuring 175 vodkas and sushi bar.

Please send resume and 2 photos if interested.

Expecting this to become instant hot new venue.

They’re being super flexible: you don’t have to speak the language, you just need to have ze accent (and a hot bod). I’ve never found these places very appealing – you have to put on these big, unflattering parkas and then everyone ends up looking the same…this could turn tricky after a cocktail or two.  But if the ice bar is open all year round, I will absoLUTELY hit CZAR up come July – this could actually be exactly what Hotlanta needs.

Ice Bar in Mandalay Bay, Las Vegas. Do you see what I mean?! There’s no way to tell who’s who…

Congratulations to my bestie JTOMM!!! So happy for you and Alex. SOCKS.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »

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