Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘girl crush’

BBT’s The Allie Awards

Posted by AllieB on January 16, 2014

If you’re reading this, then you already know: it’s Thursday.

Award season is upon us! I find the Oscars to be a little high-brow for my taste, so I’ve created my own awards: BBT’s The Allie Awards. Just like Lee Daniels did with The Butler, I had to add the BBT part as I did not want to be confused with (or sued by) the Allie Awards in Atlanta which honor excellence in event design, planning, and production. One of their awards is “Best Buffet” – I would’ve been really good at awarding that award. Award. And now, without further ado!

Best Use of Double Sided Tape: Amy Adams, American Hustle. By the end of the movie I wanted to climb into the screen and offer her a turtleneck

amy adams american hustle

could she V any hotter….

Bleakest Film Location: The Prisoners. Conyers, GA is not so scenic.

Best Film Location: Hunger Games: Catching Fire. The Atlanta History Center, on the other hand, is very scenic.

Best Eastern European Accent: Steve Carrell, Despicable Me: 2. I love these movies.

Hottest Actress Who is 23, Australian, and Plays in an Ice Hockey League for Fun: Margot Robbie in Wolf of Wall Street (read that – I was all set to be like, “LAME” but she is a delight!)

margot robbie

oh hey

Best Soundtrack: American Hustle. It’s legit. I’ve always kind of wished I was around in the 70’s…I think it’s my decade-that-should-have-been.

In Memory of the One Who Kept Us Up At Night…RIP Paul Walker: You’re the hottest QB there ever was.

paul walker varsity blues

My awards > The Academy’s.

#NewYorkLife: On Sunday I needed to get from TriBeCa to the West Village, something that is very easily accomplished by hopping on the 1 train right by my apartment. Very easily accomplished unless, of course, it’s No Pants Day on the subway. The only thing worse than a bunch of weirdos riding the New York City subway without their pants is nothing; there is nothing worse. I wound up using a Citibike instead – in spite of strong headwinds, no gloves, and silly flats (I am my own hero) – and, just to be on the safe side, I took a cab home.*

*I have very strict rules about when I can and cannot take cabs. Said rules are constantly changing in accordance to weather, my outfit, time of day, and level of laziness, but they are rigid and ironclad once I choose to apply them.

#NewYorkLife: Yesterday I took a yoga class after work. Due to various variables, I had to bring all my stuff with me to the office. Super-sized satchel + gym bag + YOGA MAT makes for an exciting morning rush-hour commute – lots of slinging things around, and I know I drilled a few people in the peepers. Talk about losing friends and alienating people: I sort of felt like her. Namaste.

worst lady on an airplane SNL

oh yes, and I had on a neck pillow #commutercomfort

Some housekeeping: I updated my Book List this week, and I removed my Atlanta Restaurant Guide. It was time, y’all. If anyone really wants to see a list of where to dine in Atlanta as of July 2012, by all means email me and I’ll send you a copy. Or you can look at it here.

Enjoy what I hope is a long weekend like mine. I’m looking at some chillaxin’, catching up on movies/tv, lbcha’s AND MHM’s bdizzles… Oh, woof – and SoulCycle. Gag me with a spoon. TGIT!

P.S. I’d be remiss to not share these “otherwordly” pics taken of NYC yesterday…this place is the coolest.

NYC fog

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

See and (not) be seen

Posted by AllieB on September 6, 2013

Fashion Week is kind of not my scene. I like to read about it and see pictures in magazines while ensconced in the comfort of my couch; I can do without the overheated, overcrowded tents…in fact I have something of  phobia when it comes to enclosed tents – they catch on fire really easily and then people start panicking and stampeding – it’s a recipe for disaster.

However, given an opportunity to attend during the work day for free is a no-brainer. I went this morning with co-workers to the BCBG Spring 2014 show at Lincoln Center. What’s so overwhelming is the whole blogger (psssh – freakin bloggers) craze and the street style photographers. It’s a whole business now, and I feel like anyone in an open-toed bootie, sporting some sort of domepiece accessory, or carrying a kitschy clutch can be stalked for their picture. Eyepatches, also, will get you some airtime. Oddly,  no one seemed interested in capturing my street style of J.Crew Minnie’s and tank.

Here’s my takeaway: if you are at all hungover under the weather and have even the slightest ambivalence towards crowds, zero personal space, excessive perfume, jarring noises and flashing lights, Fashion Week is not for you. I’d rather go to IKEA in that state than Fashion Week, which, I think, says all you need to know.

One obvious bonus: the celeb spotting.

fashion week collage

The ULTIMATE sighting: Olivia Palermo (never said I had good seats), Heidi Klum (yes that’s her), the crowd awaits

I realize you might not believe that’s Olivia and Heidi, so here is my proof. Giuliana Rancic and Selita Ebanks (??) and Estelle and Jesse Metcalfe were also there. They were much more clear in person…iPhone’s do not zoom well. Olivia is everything I hoped she would be – almost too pretty to look at with a very definite “I am so SO much better than all of you” attitude. And she kept her sunglasses on the whole time. Of course she did. Heidi, quite literally, glows.

The celeb spotting has actually been kind of ridiculous lately: I saw Dustin Hoffman at Whole Foods on Saturday. He and his wife were doing regular old grocery shopping. He was trailing behind her, pulling the buggy, while she asked him questions over her shoulder. He must have responded negatively because she whipped around and goes, “well did you at LEAST get the PARSLEY!?” He didn’t answer but turned and headed off towards the greens. I saw them again when they got in line behind me – I don’t think Dustin recognized me because I was wearing a hat – but I nevertheless felt embarrassed about my items: Newman’s Lemonade (1 gal), mac n cheese, chicken wings (5, sweet chili from the hot bar). Allie…no.

Then, the next day, as I explored my new ‘hood, I walked by Jennifer Connelly and her whole fam. She is stunning. I really like her – she might be in my top 5. You know how I feel about Blood Diamond…and who could forget Career Opportunities?!

Speaking of my new ‘hood….I LOVE it. My quality of life has soared to heights heretofore unseen. Who needs the charm of an old brownstone walk-up when you can live in a high rise with a doorman?? I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to live without a doorman again…unless, maybe, I own the whole building. I can’t stop taking pictures. Do you wanna see some?? Ok. No filters – seriously.

majestic, ain't she

majestic, ain’t she

skyline as seen from Pier 26 (the one I live on)

skyline as seen from Pier 26 (that’s where I live)

sunset over Pier 26

sunset

sunrise

sunrise

I won’t bore you with stories about my move, but you better believe it did not go off without a hitch/multiple hitches.

Praying for a Bulldog W…have a great weekend!

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

I’m in a glass case of emotion: the story of BBT

Posted by AllieB on December 8, 2011

Today’s inspiration: the word “inspiration.”

My Idol Person I Like a Normal Amount: Sloane Crosley. Sloane is why Baxter Bark Twice is even extant; she is who I wish to be. I hope she doesn’t have a Google alert set up for her name and reads this. Actually, I hope she does. Hi, Sloane. Sloane has written two books: I Was Told There’d be Cake and How Did You Get This Number? Both are compilations of personal essays ranging in subject matter from bridesmaid woes to international travel to failed relationships and hot-off-the-truck furniture. She is really funny and frank and sometimes it seems like she takes the thoughts from my head, aligns them in an articulate and coherent manner, and writes them down. Pallison had the good fortune to run into Sloane on Sunday at a Barney’s Co-op in NYC. She co-opted (wordplay!) her in the dressing room, and absolutely spewed word vomit about how she and her friend Allie were her biggest fans, how we’re both friends with her on Facebook (true story), and how that line out of How Did You Get This Number, “it wasn’t as real as you thought it was” changed both of our lives. (Read the book. You’ll see what we mean.) Sloane, ever graceful, handled the situation with aplomb. Anyway, in an ideal world, BBT’s posts will parlay into longer, more personal essays, multiply several times in number, and become compilations that will be published. Fingers crossed!

Sorry for saying “spewed word vomit” with regard to your actions, Pal. I probably could have opted for a different choice of words – I didn’t, but I could have.

Person Whose Closet I Want:

Olivia Palermo. Gah.

The Movie From Which “Baxter Bark Twice” Originated: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Baxter is the name of Ron’s dog, and, after Baxter is drop-kicked over a bridge (see below), he goes missing. Later in the movie, Ron receives a call from someone who he obviously assumes is his lost dog, and says, “Hello? Who’s there? Hello? Who is this? Baxter… is that you? Baxter! Bark twice if you’re in Milwaukee…” See? My last name is Baxter, so it makes sense. Team Newnan can take credit for this moniker.

Weeeeeeeee!

So, that’s how that happened. I always assume that everyone knows why Baxter Bark Twice is called Baxter Bark Twice, but I suppose if you’ve never seen a movie or if you hate to laugh, you could very well have no idea. Glad I was able to clear things up. If you’re looking to kill some time, I highly recommend visiting IMDB and reading quotes from the movie. I could do this all day.

Veronica Corningstone: I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir.
Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker.
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry.
Ron Burgundy: Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?
Veronica Corningstone: Well, you have bad hair.

Ok, the end. Have a very thirsty Thursday!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 9 Comments »

What the crap!

Posted by AllieB on August 9, 2011

WTC! In Paris they now have 24-hour vending machines that dispense piping hot, freshly baked baguettes. I want to go to there!! If only they’d gotten their act together a year ago. I’ve been reliving our trip to France all week by way of photographs – minus the dead lady on the plane ride over (total downer), it was a perfect vacation…hindsight 20/20, right? In true Fat American fashion, Al Roker remarked: “They need one of those over here that has donuts instead of baguettes…” Good call, Al – just what we need, another champion for America’s obesity…especially from someone who’s actually already had gastric bypass surgery. I’m really down on the Today show right now, yet haven’t been able to pull the trigger on GMA…six in one, half dozen in the other.

4-wheelers that went up to like 50 MPH – that’s fast, right? They went really fast. Ode to Georgia Bar. (My t-shirt is a GA Bar t-shirt.)

Ok. This is the type of information that I would maybe tell my friends after I’ve been doing it for awhile … truth bomb: sometimes I sit on relevant information before sharing it with my peers. Of course, everyone could have known about this all along, making me moron who thinks she’s got a piece of groundbreaking information. Anyway, without further ado: I’ve been reading this blog written by Victoria’s Secret model Chrissy Teigen. I know…she’s dating John Legend and is actually pretty hilarious…she’s kind of a nut -I think we’d get along nicely. I follow her on Twitter, too. Anyway, I she imparted some very valuable wisdom in her post, “Ugh, alcohol:”

*fact: most fashion industry people that are watching their weight (so everyone) drink vodka/club soda splash of lime. Even lighter. Get Goose. Potato vodkas are a no no. This is my drink of choice lately. Kind of tastes like ass, and trust me, I can’t wait for swimsuit modeling season to go away. I miss the cold Christmas shopping days where I fill a to-go cup with coffee halfway and pour Bailey’s in the rest. Then I hit the city, shop, and completely forget what I ended up buying anyone until I get the thank you cards. It’s fun.

Minus the part about swimsuit modeling season :|, I really appreciate this whole excerpt. And I’m glad to know I no longer have to buy all my Christmas gifts online – her plan sounds pretty awesome. Anyway, this part about Grey Goose only was very interesting to me – it’s made with wheat in France. You know how no one in France is fat??? Oh wow, this is really coming full circle…baguettes from Paris, vodka from France…I never tie things together so nicely. Horn: tooted! And now I really, really want to go back to France.

Sisters in Paris. Notably absent: hot, fresh baguettes from nearby vending machine

On notice: Betches Love This Site. It’s become an internet sensation and I hate it. I don’t even really want to link to it because they get plenty of fraffic as is, but…whatever, here it is. They started it in February and have 35,000+ followers on Twitter and apparently have a movie deal. WTF! They cuss too much – it’s very crass. However, they write anonymously which is I figure how they get away with some of the stuff they say…I mean, I guess they’re entertaining – I feel like they appeal to a slightly younger (read: college-age) demographic – one comprised of srat sistas who love to flip their hair and squeal. I cannot stand shrill, high-pitched people. I think the Betches and I can just agree to disagree…unless they’re looking for staff writers, in which case I may or may not be available.

WHAT THE CRAP HAPPENED TO SINEAD O’CONNOR.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

FREE NONNIE

Posted by AllieB on May 25, 2011

Elizabeth Shue, Christina Applegate and I have had some crazy times in child tending.

I should preface by saying: I don’t necessarily love to babysit. I like kids – I love kids! – but I like them better when I’m not in charge. I’ll tell you, it’s this hard-to-get mentality that makes them so fond of me…they can sense my disinterest, thus I’m the immediate go-to for games/fort building/freeze tag, etc. Maybe this hard-to-get thing isn’t a myth…??

I digress. The reason I bring this is up is that I’ve been chatting with my sister and Lacy and Skin and others recently about the pros and cons of taking care of other people’s children, and a certain story came to mind…

I had a weekly babysitting job every Tuesday. There was a Mom and a Dad and two trouble-making boys. Seriously, HUGE troublemakers….every week, the rents would go to Bible study and I’d watch over Christopher and Patrick and the basically dead cat, Maggie (this cat would occasionally let out a wail akin to Michael Finnegan’s last breath – terrifying).

One evening, about 6 weeks into the gig, a grandmother appeared from behind a door that I had never noticed, much less opened. Oh yes, it was their Nonnie. Nonnie had been LIVING IN THE BASEMENT for “years and years,” and no one ever told me about it. I mean I’m here like 3.5 hrs every week, and no one thought to mention the elderly person living downstairs. What if there was an emergency? What if she fell down and couldn’t get up? These are legit scenarios that I ought to be prepared for…

She did seem very nice and wasn’t at all offended by the legitimate scream with which I greeted her upon entering the living room where I was innocently watching my second favorite CW show at the time, Privileged. (That Joanna Garcia just can’t get a break, can she – she may have peaked with Reba.) She apologized for disturbing me, got herself a glass of water, and retreated downstairs…I was quite shocked – it just would’ve been nice to know about her existence, is all.

The parents got home and were very apologetic, but totally in the wrong way: “We’re SO SORRY, did she bother you?? We told her to STAY DOWNSTAIRS.” I’m a little scared that Nonnie was punished for daring to venture beyond her…prison? I don’t know. People are weird – this is why I prefer pet-sitting to people-sitting…dogs might be crazy, but it’s usually in a very endearing way…case in point: Missy Baxter. (credit: Family BBM Chat)

So, that happened…

My girl crush on Kate is more out of control than ever: how fetchingly glorious does she look at this meet & greet with President and First Lady Obama?! I guess spending 10 days in the Seychelles does wonders for one’s tan/hair/overall amazingness.

Source: NYMag

Dani – this is why I prefer to keep my posts short…but I did it for you :)

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , | 7 Comments »