Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Troubleshooting: Lindsay Lohan

Posted by AllieB on December 7, 2010

Suffice it to say, Lindsay Lohan has not had the best 2k10 ever. She’s been safely tucked away in rehab since October (give or take) and is mandated to stay until 2011, but then she’s on her own again…which means to say, it’s only a matter of time before she’s back in the slamma/going on benders/wearing tights as pants, etc.

Solution! Dancing with the Stars. I can take no credit for this – the People with Kate Middleton (love you Kate!) on the cover had a blurb with their suggestions for the next DWTS group, and they chose Lindsay. But, like, DUH – it’s perfect for her! Despite her best efforts to alienate her fans, I think America is still rooting for LiLo and wants her to succeed. Ergo, they will vote for her and she will do well and all will be right in the world again…so long as she doesn’t paint expletives on her finger nails, dance a routine sans underroos, or pass out backstage.

what not to do

See – I’ve got all the answers figured out. I wonder if Lindsay still has an agent? If not, Linds, I’m at work til 530 then reachable on my cell; let’s talk shop.

The Reebok Easytone commercials – the ones with the cute little rumps just shaking back and forth while that maddening song plays – are finally getting to me and I might need to spring for a pair of those toning pants. Is that embarrassing? I’m such a sucker for advertising/airbrushing. Good grief, those things are $80!! I’ll stick with my old school Nike tights and lunges, thankyouverymuch. Orrrr, maybe I’ll add to Christmas List….

2 Responses to “Troubleshooting: Lindsay Lohan”

  1. Sucker said

    Now I see how to talk you into things. Wear tight pants and wave my fanny around in your face. So simple! IN the computer…

  2. AllieB said

    Yeah, that, or an Orange Mocha Frappuccino!

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *