Fall has arrived, and everyone is talking about various things they need. Sister needs velvet shorts. Allison needs a one-shoulder Alexander Wang dress that barely makes sense (but I adore it, too). Hilary needed fringe boots  (I need those as well, but in black). And I also think I might need a pair of sequined shorts.

So far, my one big purchase for the fall has been my new J Brand Lovestory jeans – and I know, they’ve been around forever, duh Allie, but these are awesomer than the average pair because they are a lightweight material thus more comfortable, and, IMO, more flattering. Seriously, go try some on – your caboose will have never looked better.

In addition to these obvious life necessities, I am in need of some other items as well:

1. A waterproof cover for my smart phone device. I got a brand new cell piece back in August, and after only two days in my possession my omnipresent water bottle leaked in my purse during a work breakfast at J. Christopher’s (overrated), and the phone was saturated. Devastated, I hastily disassembled it and google’d how to best handle the situation. I submerged the phone in rice for two days, and voilà! It turned on and worked fine. But then the exact same thing happened last Friday while I enjoyed an innocent happy hour at Bluepoint with my parents. (I highly recommend the Friday happy hours at Bluepointe – they have a wide selection of liquor drinks and wines for $5 and then a substantial menu of small plates for $7 and under.) Needless to say, I wasn’t so lucky the second time, and I’ve been phoneless for six days. I barely know any of my friends anymore. I’ve resorted to landlines and smoke signals – it sucks.
2. A yacht like the one my nearest and dearest, Amy, cruised the Adriatic in. 
   

Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, “The Pam.”

Mr. Bowmont: I don’t think she’d like that.

Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, “The Mr. Bowmont.”

Mr. Bowmont: I don’t think so dear.

Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. All right, you are settin’ sail up the Hudson! You’ve got the wind in your h – aaaarms…