Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘survey says’

BBT Reveals: Things Girls Could Possibly Want & Things They Absolutely Do NOT Want

Posted by AllieB on December 12, 2013

It’s important to keep in mind that all of the answers given here are subject to mood-swings, the second/minute/hour of day, barometric pressure, and a gazillion other variables you couldn’t possibly anticipate.

And we’re back! Last week was an in-depth look into the hearts and minds of men (as they pertain to Christmas), and this week’s post will attempt to do the same for the ladies. I can tell you what they say they want, but as to what they truly desire, well – I am powerless to speculate. Here’s a tip for everyone, all shapes, sizes, genders: if you’re at a loss for what to get someone, just buy yourself Chromecast and call it a day. I did, and I couldn’t be happier – that’s the best gift of all, right? Chromecast streams Netflix and YouTube from your phone or computer (without zapping battery life or slowing things down) onto your TV. It is a USB drive that you plug into the TV. There are no cords, and it costs $35. This isn’t rocket science.

I digress. Here you go – what your lady friends want for Christmas:

girls want for christmas

This response to “Other” was by far the most lame of all the responses to any question, girl or boy: I wear the same stud earrings everyday and want something to spice up my daily look!

I can’t even tell if she’s kidding. For the sake of BBT’s integrity, I will assume she is. Moving on.

girls getting guys for xmas

Specified “Other” items included:

  • Jeans…sick of looking at his dad jeans
  • new clothes- specifically pants as the pleated khakis he wears sometimes resemble MC Hammers’
  • If I had a man I would buy him a gift for myself. Maybe that’s why I’m single.
  • Big Green Egg
  • A session with a medium. I swear we aren’t crazy.

Yeah…I’m pretty sure y’all are crazy.

And if you’re wise, you’ll pay close attention to this one: gifts that will make a girl go absolutely batsh*t bonkers (and not in a good way) are:

  • cirque du soleil tickets. Yuck.
  • anything that was on my wedding registry
  • ugly clothes that I can’t return
  • Any sort of class. If I want to learn how to do something, I will goog
  • victoria secret underwear
  • anything relating to cooking
  • A scale…
  • Crew neck christmas sweaters. WHY GOD WHY?
  • for him to get a puppy. 2013 is not the year of playing pick up the poop
  • My parents telling me the fact that they flew me home to visit for Christmas is a big enough gift.
  • coal in my stocking
  • Weird Jewelry/House Stuff/Anything Mature
  • a cookbook/cooking utensils/an apron/cooking lessons
  • SOCKS. I DO NOT WANT SOCKS.

I agree – coal would suck, and the one with the parents saying your ticket home for Christmas was gift enough…saddies :( On that note, THANK YOU, G-force and Geoff, for your kindness and generosity 365 days/year!

The responses to “The gift I want most in the world” were 80% about taking a really cool trip, 10% about a new house, 8% want a puppy and/or Ryan Reynolds, and then there was the doofus who wants a navy Porsche Cayenne with tan leather interior. SMH*

girls say santa

My takeaways are twofold: 1. I know some pretty bratty females, and 2. guys and girls aren’t so different after all: NO ONE WANTS SOCKS. In spite of the answers provided by my male and female cohorts, I think what everyone really wants (besides Chromecast) is a thoughtful gift that shows that the giver was truly thinking of the give-ee…and is not a piece of crap.

I’m realizing now that, once again, I neglected to take my own survey, so I will leave you with my answers.

1. This best describes what I want for Christmas: clothes, a trip, jewelry, and a spa day

2. I am getting the man in my life a beautiful, golden goose egg (I think nothing is a great gift for someone who does not exist)

3. I will go batsh*t bonkers if someone gets me….I can’t think of anything that would make me go loco. Y’all, a gift’s a gift.

4. Santa is: REAL.

TGIT! It was 14 degrees when I woke up this morning.

*I finally goog’ed what SMH stands for last week – it means “shaking my head”

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

BBT Investigates: What Do Guys Really Want?

Posted by AllieB on December 5, 2013

*specifically, what do guys really want for Christmas. The title is intentionally misleading.

Last year I asked 100 or so of my male and female friends, acquaintances, and frenemies to take a little survey about gift giving and receiving. I took the time to create it, they obliged me in answering it, I tracked and compiled their answers…and then I threw all of our hard work in the crapper. But, today I revisited my hard work and have decided, yes, these insightful questions and revealing answers must be shared! I am aware that I recently said gift guides are not one of my strengths, and that’s still true, but I’m not providing links to artisan cheese boards, I’m giving you the gift of TRUTH…it also adds a little insight into the ever-mystifying minds of the opposite sex. This is more than a gift guide; it’s a guide to life.

Today, per the title, we’ll learn about the dudes. PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE.

boys what they want

The best “Other” response I got was: Like Mariah, all I want for Christmas is ewe. I’m hoping to start a farm. 

You can’t say this wasn’t helpful! Ok fine, other “Other” responses included golf clubs, golf vacation, and golf clubs.

boys ignore girls

The most telling commentary was: If I ignored what she said she wanted and something on my own I would totally fail.

See?? You can’t make these vague references or veiled hints and expect to get what you want, or even remotely what you want. This goes for most things you’re trying to communicate, I’ve learned, just go ahead and spell it out. #lifelessons

dumb when girls ask for

There was some helpful commentary along with this question:

  • All of the above but also something “small”
  • “nothing” and a ring
  • Is it true that when a woman says nothing she means something? I did not expect to learn so much from a quiz. Do women always mean the opposite of what they say? Thanks, BBT!
  • “Oh, I’m sure I’ll love whatever you get me.” Wanna bet?
  • clothes… I have absolutely no idea what size you are. If I guess too big, I think you are too fat… if too small, its a subliminal messages to lose weight – lose lose

I’m sensing a bit of SARCASM from the funny guy in the middle.

The next question wasn’t really graphable:

I will be really pissed if I receive any of the following items:

  • A nicer version of something I already have. I simply don’t give a shit if it’s new. If it isn’t broken, I don’t a replacement.
  • Hemorrhoid Cream
  • a f*cking tie
  • socks or towels
  • more pajama pants
  • fruit cake
  • cologne
  • Jelly of the month club
  • vacuum cleaner
  • owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
  • Slippers
  • Anything I didn’t pick out
  • Any kind of DVD. Also, I don’t need anymore golf shirts.
  • grown up clothes
  • a Nickelback CD
  • A Cookbook

Jeeez, diva central over here.

boys santa

Alright, girls – now you know: be very clear about what you want, don’t even THINK about buying socks, and anything golf-related is probably a safe bet. Wow, Allie, that sure is a lot of brand new information.

Happy Thursday! See y’all next week when we delve into the female psyche…that sounds terrifying.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

BBT’s Guide to Giving: You’re on Your Own

Posted by AllieB on December 11, 2012

To those who responded to my survey….thanks. I don’t know if it’s because I was overwhelmed by so many responses (a pleasant surprise), or because I waited longer than my usual 1.5 day turnaround before doing a post, but I’m feeling the opposite of inspired. I asked about gifts for the holidays, y’all all answered, and I’ll sum it up for you: don’t buy anyone socks, clothes for work, and don’t you DARE enroll ANYONE in a jelly of the month club. Also, three people (3 out of the 63 who participated), specifically mentioned not wanting a Nickelback CD. Look, if you’re concerned a Nickelback CD awaits you beneath the tree on Christmas morning, there are issues with which BBT cannot help. My heart goes out to the %.05 of you facing  this imminent doom. Hey, maybe the world will end on 12/21, and then you won’t even have to worry about practicing your “Omigosh I LOVE IT!” face when you open up an NB CD – fingers crossed! Let’s see, what else…I had some really wonderful answers (some of which I may filch for material in the future and claim as my own original work), but also a fair number of really dumb ones. It is possible I didn’t sense your tones, but I don’t think that’s it. Good news is – it was totally anonymous so no judgement! Just me wondering who the H I’m friends with.

Speaking of the people I am friends with, Hilary wants to show off her new Christmas sweater and would also like your help counting her chins:

Sorry your hardwork is going unrewarded…in the future, I think I’ll stick with surveys pertaining to the complex nature of relationships between males and females because that is where my expertise really kicks in. I honestly do feel badly if I’ve let you down – tell you what, if you’re really at a loss re: gift giving, or are just that curious about the results, shoot me an email and I’ll send over some highlights.

Instead of a survey, I’m going to borrow a section from my favorite weekly tabloid, UsWeekly: What’s In My Bag??

1. the bag. I just bought it, and I’m obsessed – thank you, Pinterest. I’d been looking for a new NYC bag for months, and this is perfect. LOVE.

2. umbrella. This is always in my purse when I do not need it; it’s never there when I do

3. earphones (2) – one is the new ear bud from Apple that of course doesn’t stay in my right ear any better than the old, but they suffice for a stroll; the others are the super cute kind that hook over your ear…these are for my yogs/when I am trying to lure members of the opposite sex

4. butterfly clips (9) of various sizes; two hair ties. Given the number of hair-related thingies I carry around, it’s strange if not inexcusable that I am often so unkempt

5. one day I hope to go altogether purseless like Lucy (this seems promising, given the amount of crap I carry around), but for now I’m just walletless – Metro card, *$’s card, work ID, check card, license. My new bag has a perfect place for these – wallet, schwallet.

6. Kindle. It is my most prized possession, I go no where without this thing

7. padlock. I’m currently the member of a pretty sketchy gym – I joined on a whim with a Groupon during Hurricane Sandy because I really wanted to take a shower (they were, of course, closed throughout Hurricane Sandy), and I’ve got 10 days left in my membership. I look forward to not lugging around a lock that weighs 5 lbs. Equinox, here I come.

8. the large blue pouch clearly has in it all the things that you are not allowed to see. My bag – it’s full of secrets…!

9. Vaseline (2) – obvi

10. everything else: gum, gloss, Sabre shades (possibly the most durable sunglasses on the planet), arm band for iPhone (my shuffle is on the DL right now – I hate running with the full size)

11. duh, my work Blackberry. I didn’t downgrade; I’m using my iPhone for the pic. I thought about this oversight on the subway and hurried to correct the omission. God forbid.

That was fun. Don’t you feel like you know me better? Minus all the stuff that’s in the blue pouch…curious much?

DOGS ARE DRIVING CARS. Please click thru and watch this video – even if you only watch like 15 seconds of it, for which you don’t even really need sound, this is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. And I’m not making it up – source is TIME magazine, so it’s legit. Y’all know I don’t talk about vids unless it’s worth your while…plus, it’s in New Zealand and who doesn’t love the Kiwis?  Admittedly, I haven’t watched more than 39 seconds of it, but it was the best 39 seconds of anything I’ve seen in awhile…and now I’m watching it again.

I’m worried that you aren’t going to watch it – here’s a screenshot:

 I die.

THE DUCHESS IS WITH CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BBT is could not be more thrilled. What if she gives birth on my birthday??? What if I am asked to be a godparent??? She’s going to be an adorable preggo person, and I hope she gets well soon. There’ve been a lot of strange things surrounding her pregnancy thus far, and I’m not going to talk about any of them. PLUS, since Kate is with child this means I can completely ignore the fact Jessica Simpson is also – unless she starts to blow up….and here we go again.

And, in that same ALL-CAPS vein, CONGRATS to my big sister Charlotte who’s been working her a** off and has been rewarded as such – can’t wait to see what ends up happening..! And I’m happy to weigh-in where needed; I’m known for being incredibly decisive…as always, it is a pleasure being related to you.

Lastly, did I mention that I saw the van up here a few weeks ago? There she was, just chillin in Chinatown. Wherever I go, so, too, goes the van.

 

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Ask and you shall receive

Posted by AllieB on December 15, 2011

As seems to be the case with all my surveys, the results of my poll on Tuesday were unremarkable. Turns out there are stupid questions (well, we already knew that (this is one of my favorite posts)), and apparently I keep asking them.

1. I read BBT because…

  • 22.7% – it has relevant or interesting information
  • 43.5% – it is funny
  • 7.4% – it is fun to make fun of Allie
  • 22.7% – I like to be distracted during the work day
  • 2.6% – Allie pesters me about reading it
  • 1.3% – I might stop reading if she asks me anymore stupid questions

Ok? I don’t know what I expected to glean from that question, but I’m glad to know that less than half of you read this because you think it’s funny.

2. What would you like to see more of on BBT?

  • 17.7% – boy/girl surveys
  • 14.6% – Atlanta restaurants/deals
  • 19.6% – personal anecdotes
  • 12.3% – celeb stuff
  • 17.3% – goings-on around Atlanta
  • 18.6% – new sites that I should check out

So, basically…this data helps me not at all. I should have made it so you could only choose one answer, and I also should have allowed it to show how many people took it. Fail on both counts. I will try to focus more on personal anecdotes, less on celeb stuff, and stay about the same with the other stuff.

3. I am a boy/girl:

  • 28.6% – boy
  • 71.4% – girl

I honestly do believe that more than 30% of my readers are male, but I also believe that they are less inclined to participate in my boneheaded polls. So…fair enough.

I have two sites of interest to share with you today – the perk is that both of these require about 2 seconds of your time to appreciate:

The first is a simple photo blog that makes me laugh outloud. Walk. Too Big For Stroller

The second is a mind-blowing fact blog about Apple and the rest of the world: Things Apple Is Worth More Than (spoiler alert: all of the illegal drugs in the world…)

My friends and I adopted a family for our third year in a row this Christmas, and I think this year was our best yet. I must say – and this is not because no one offered but because Christmas is a crazy time of year – I did do all of the shopping by myself, and I did a pretty awesome job. It’s for a family of three: a single father and two sons, and the gifts are exactly what they asked for. I’m proud of us for participating for three years straight. Between Lindsay’s magazine-worthy holiday decor and the cheer of wrapping gifts for this family (and the Stouffer’s mac n cheese), last night got me more in the Christmas spirit than anything else yet this year. ‘Tis the season!

New sites to check out? BOOM. Personal anecdote? Nailed it.

Ok – this may or may not be real. It is a “petite retriever” and I can’t tell what kind of hybrid it is, but his name is Rigoletto and he is a PERMANENT PUPPY. He tops out at 20 lbs. I must have him.

More pics of Rigo and other hybrids here.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

It’s like a survey, almost, except not

Posted by AllieB on December 13, 2011

Imitation, they say, is the highest form of flattery…so today I bring you a poll pertaining to BBT. I am actually interested to know the answers to the questions, so as to better please my faithful readers, so I’d really appreciate you taking the 3 seconds to answer the Q’s. You don’t even have to leave the page to do it, just click on your answers and voilà! You’re done. (Credit: Blayne @ This Photographer’s Life)




THANK YOU!!! Really, by helping me and you're also helping you - I strive to improve BBT with each and every post; your answers will help me do just that.

And now, for today’s montage: an homage to my besties:

Happy engagement to Kirk & Tina!

Happy Birthday, JTOMM!!! (This pic is from a St. Patty’s Day of yore and has nothing to do with your birthday, but I always just really liked it…)

And here, as promised, is your teacup kitten :) SOCKS WOMAN!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »