Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘really really arbitrary’

Today is Picture Day!

Posted by AllieB on April 23, 2015

Picture Day at school was my least favorite day. My forced smile looks exactly that – forced – and 9 out of 10 times I would forget and show up with my hair in a veritable rat’s nest, or happen to wear my 1991 Atlanta Braves National League Champs tshirt (Adult Large) with sweatpants. At least you couldn’t see the sweatpants?*

But here on BBT picture day does not suck because the smiles are (hopefully) not forced, and sweatpants are actually in style right now. Besides, sometimes I feel like y’all don’t read my carefully crafted comments, so perhaps this format will be more appealing.

~ Google offered a “what animal are you” quiz yesterday in honor of Earth Day. I must say, I did not see this coming:

what animal are you

 but who am I to argue with the Goog? #dismember

~ VISTAS!

vista

On the Left: last night in my ‘hood, post-storm. There’s something for everyone at Pier 25! #golf #snacks #theapocalypse

And ze Right: I went off-campus for a hike on Saturday w MelBoo & CDMcD – it was a great success in that the weather was lovely and there were lots of “money shot” views, less so in that we got completely lost and actually did 2 hikes instead of one. As we hit mile 7 of our 3 mile hike, I began to wonder who might play me in the movie…

~ Speaking of hikes, the Baxter Fam is hiking Machu Picchu in Peru next month. We were told that some training is advised, so I’ve been doing lots of Flywheel and sometimes I take the stairs to my 9th floor apartment carrying two bottles of wine. I thought I was good to go until the aforementioned hike last Saturday, when I realized – not so much. Always reasonable, I tried to blame the higher altitude for my shortness of breath (1,380 ft) but then I checked and The Inca Trail we trek to Machu Picchu reaches almost 14,000 ft in some places…so. Crap.

machu picchu

I think it’ll be worth it tho – BOLO for 1,348,986 vista pics

*case in point: Picture Day was the worst.

picture day

Second grade: I think my parents did this on purpose, like for their own entertainment. And it occurs to me that is genius and I’m 1000% doing that with my own kids

Third grade: I may have peaked in third grade

Fourth grade: no.

Turns out I already did a Picture Day post – two years ago, same title and everything. +2 points for consistency.

Friendly reminder: only 7 more days to celebrate National Grilled Cheese Month. TGIT!!

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Survival of the Fittest

Posted by AllieB on November 6, 2012

Hey! Let’s do this.

It’s Election Day. I do not discuss politics on BBT, so this is more of just a friendly reminder – just in case you live in a hole or are not on Facebook. Go rock your vote.

Sandy was but a week ago, and we’re already bracing ourselves for another storm – a “blustery Nor’easter” they’re calling it. It is impossible to say “Nor’easter” without looking or sounding like a moron (seriously, say it and you’ll totes see what I mean), so in lieu of that word I will say “bad storm.” This bad storm will bring rain and wind and snow and why again did I move here?

 Oh yeah. That’s why.

Speaking of Sandy, it totally sucked. No power for three days is really bad for morale, especially since there were no subways. No subways -> sidewalk stampedes. I had more than one near death experience on my commute, from people rocket launching themselves off scaffolding to the B*TCH who shoved me into oncoming fraffic. Such atrocities brought out a heretofore unseen side of BBT: Commuter Allie. Commuter Allie kind of reminds me of The Hulk and I hope she never comes around again because that is not a good look for moi. It really was so manic.  Thank goodness for Wine Girl.

Were I to write a guide about survival (working title Survival: A Guide), I would be sure to mention the following:

1. Wine. Lots of it. Even if you think you have enough, you probably need more – it’s not like it goes bad, AND if the storm lasts a really long time you could sell it at a huge mark-up to those who were stupidly less prepared, or issue a steep IOU to be cashed in at a later date. (This is a survival guide, not a How to be a Pushover Handbook.)

2. A large stack of clean clothes. Seriously, if a storm is coming, get thee to a washing machine.

3. I should probably say water.

4. Scrabble.

5. Electronics with awesome battery power – my Kindle was the runaway champion of battery longevity, while my iPhone died after about three hours. The darkhorse hero was my work Blackberry, which lasted a full 12 hours longer than the iPhone…

6. Headlamps. Seriously, you’ll be a lot happier during a power outage if you’re hands-free.

7. Jordan’s homemade Pumpkin Cranberry Bread

8. The ability to laugh at how much whatever situation you’re in sucks*. If you can’t laugh, excuse yourself from the group because the last thing anyone needs when the going gets tough is a Debbie Downer. My survival guide has a very strict NO DD policy.

This has best-seller written all over it.

The Wedding of the Year betwixt Bill and Sister was awesome. Salud! Prost! I thought about sharing the transcript of my toast, but I lost my notes. I do know it began with, “Hi, my name is Allie Baxter” and it massively bombed, like really blew went uphill from there.

BBT and beautimous bride; first dance to Marry Me, Bill (tear); the most amazing groom’s cake there ever was: Casey WaWa made it after all…

I’m getting super excited for Christmas up here. Who’s coming to visit???

Georgia sports – both professional and collegiate – seem to be thriving in my absence. I am sure this is no coincidence, and you’re all very welcome. Sic ‘em and RISE UP.

And now for some literacy. It’s long but it’s worth it: Ken Follet’s Century Trilogy. I’m almost done with book #2, and, according to Goog, I have to wait until 2014 for #3. WTF. Ken Follet, expect a visit from Commuter Allie…if historical fiction is not up your alley, perhaps try this kind of twisted mystery by Shatter by Joseph O’Loughlin. I read about it in People mag a few weeks ago, so if you can’t take my word for it, you can take theirs. My subway/train rides are among the highlights of my day, thanks to my Kindle reader (courtesy of my very generous big sister, CKB).

It’s completely insane that it’s already November and Thanksgiving is a scant three weeks away. Where does the time go? Who knows where thoughts come from – they just appear. Have a great day and a great week. #clearheartsclearmindscantlose

*On a more serious note, while Hurricane Sandy was a walk inthe park for most of us, it was horrible for thousands of others. My sister, who’d been planning to run the marathon on Sunday before it was canceled, is now running one this weekend in efforts to raise money for those who were rendered homeless or hungry from the storm. Should you feel so inclined, follow this link to donate. Gracias.

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Everyone is entitled to my opinion

Posted by AllieB on May 31, 2012

Herro. I started this post in the middle and then wrote the ending and then this part, so you might be like, “BBT, wtf are you talking about.” Try and keep up.

Much to my GREAT excitement, the Opening Ceremonies of the XXX Olympiad are in less than two months!!! This also means, obviously, less than two months til two whole weeks of bird dogging Kate Middleton’s wardrobe choices. I fear the Duchess is getting a bit thin, however…I do hope she’s keeping the myriad pressures of Royal Life at bay and not transferring them to an eating disorder. Too skinny = bony = weathered. No one likes a weathered princess.

Never will I ever criticize B Spears – nothing she can do will ever undo her MTV Video Music Award performance in 2000 – but the list of items she requested for her dressing room on the X-Factor is just…typical. I wonder what kind of chicken? KFC? Popeye’s?

*34 Herve Leger dresses
*12 Snickers bars
*10 snack-size bags of Doritos
*six cases of Diet Coke containing 24 cans, which must be replenished every week
*12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room
*10 pieces of chicken
*four pints of potato salad every week.
*beauty team which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist

My list would read as follows:

*Olivia Palermo’s wardrobe
*My e-reader (hopefully if I have my own dressing room I will have upgraded from my Nook, version Archaic)
*One bag of cheetos from which I can have a few each day; this will be strictly monitored by my stand-in willpower, which I will need provided by way of large, scary woman. See qualifications below
*large, scary woman to stand in as my willpower. Responsibilities will include: monitoring cheeto intake, forcibly removing me from sofa to exercise…I still don’t understand why Jessica Simpson hasn’t hired one of these yet.
*one orchid/table surface
*pizza. Pizza from Tartufo, Fellini’s, Antico, and Mellow Mush…the pizzas are to be delivered hot, fresh, and in random order – keep me guessing!
*three Labrador puppies for 20 minutes each day, with one always on-call
*beauty team which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist

So, this went viral: a letter regarding uncouth behavior at the local Piedmont Driving Club. I’m going to refrain from comment, but here are some high(low?)lights:

  • one member decided to play the 14th hole completely naked. I have not researched it, but I suspect this is a crime in Georgia
  • one member decided to show off to other members, and a caddie, his ability to pick up a golf ball with his naked butt cheeks.

Moving along…Domestic Allie made a rare appearance the other weekend. I guess Tina just brings out the best in me…she and Kirk whipped up a pretty awesome meal of kabobs at their new house, and everyone had a great time. I helped skew the skewers for a little while, but mostly I was in charge of watching feeding Tina wine. Kabobs are a messy business; someone’s gotta keep the chef hydrated.

This is us in our aprons. I’ve opted for the 1960’s photo finish in Picasa because aprons are sooo 1960’s.

I’ve always considered myself to be fairly well educated, and I am a proud alumna of The University of Georgia, but I’m feeling a bit slighted re: course selection…my Art History class on Theosophy (I don’t even know what that word means anymore) is way less relevant than these options. (Source: Reader’s Digest, June 2012. I know.)

  • How To Watch Television – Montclair State. I mean, I could teach that class, amiright??
  • Harry Potter: Finding Your Patronus – Oregon State. BBT says: legit.
  • Alien Sex – University of Rochester. Um, no.

I try to read this blog once a week because it is so funny.

THE FIRST TIME I LIVED ON MY OWN

This isn’t not not true.

TGIT! Today is the last day of May, so tomorrow is the first day of June.

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Let’s put another shrimp on the barbie

Posted by AllieB on February 2, 2012

Australian accents are hot. I don’t care if it’s a girl or guy, if they’re cute or not so much – anyone with an Aussie twang is at least a 6 on my scale. No, a 5…but that’s not a bad place to be from the get go. I had the pleasure of chatting with two males from Oz last night, which, obviously, is what spurned this philosophical waxing today. These two gents hailed from Walla Walla (or maybe not that exactly – they were very hard to understand…Australians mumble a lot??) and happened to be twin brothers. Oh my. Twin brothers from Australia…and did I mention they were 6’2″ with curly brown hair and big green eyes?  Our interaction was short-lived, and we parted ways before I could marry one or both invite myself along on their worldwide trek, but the interaction brought back some very fond memories…. I couldn’t help but reminisce on my own six month sojourn to the Land Down Under back in 2k4.

I lived here in Coogee Beach outside of Sydney…

And hung out at places like this in the Whitsunday Islands…

I even went skydiving!

Skydiving was definitely one of the coolest things I’ve ever done. It was over the Great Barrier Reef and one of the world’s only beach landings. I saw all kinds of craziness on the way down: sharks, hundred-year-old sea turtles, my life flashing before my eyes….I watched the film a few years back. My suggestion to you re: skydiving videos is as follows: don’t do it. Trust me, being filmed by the man strapped to your back with a camera held about 6 inches away from your face whilst free falling from 14,000 feet is no one’s best look. Plus, when you’re jumping out of an airplane, you might find yourself inclined to say things you would not otherwise say…which will be captured forever on this video. I’m not sure what a good alternative would be – maybe have a third person jump at the same time and film you/the scenery from afar/a more flattering angle? Regardless, my skydiving experience is one that I will cherish forever and share with no one….and I really need to find that videotape.

One of the best things about Australia is the way they do breakfast. In theory it’s the same as the US: eggs, bacon, toast…but in practice it is ever so much more. The bacon is the kicker – over there they serve up these thick slices of juicy meat, not greasy, grainy skinny little strips like here. I understand that some people are perfectly fond of that kind of bacon – me, I love all bacon – but the Australian take on breakfast pork is just better. My bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal suddenly seems woefully inadequate…

Sooo, that rodent Punxsatawny Phil DID see his shadow therefore we can look forward to six more weeks of winter. Well, KMA, Phil – Atlanta begs to differ. I hope I didn’t just jinx us to a freak March snowstorm…knock on wood or something.

UGA had a badass signing day yesterday, and I don’t know if they’re even counting this girl, Anna Watson, who is real and not photoshopped and could obviously give a brick wall a run for its money. WTF?!

Hilary, this girl could be your triplet. It’s uncanny!

This has not been BBT’s best week. Go forth and prosper.

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This is not about Charlie Sheen

Posted by AllieB on March 2, 2011

The whole Charlie Sheen situation is really very sad, and I choose to take the high road re: judgement, but I will provide some insightful commentary. Something is clearly amiss here, yet he seems to have the notion that he is fine and capable of providing his children with the care they need. Delusional sociopath? Perhaps. Devoted father with a substance abuse problem? Equally plausible. I will give him props for introducing a whole new slew of slang to our daily jargon. Me, my favorites are “the scoreboard doesn’t lie” and “gnarly gnarlingtons.” We’re not intervening on him for his catchphrases, just the drugs, prostitutes, and all-round uncouth behavior. And I’m following him on Twitter – I’m really getting into this Twitter thing; it’s neat.

I am currently debating what I might give up for Lent – I’ve decided I’m going to get serious this year, so I’m really hashing it out. My take on Lent is it that it should be something that improves your being, be it done by adding a new behavior or taking a negative one away. Anyway, current front runners are:

  1. no mas four letter curse words
  2. no – none, nada, nein – stuffed pasta (you laugh…this might be the most difficult thing on here)
  3. cannot order Hoegaardens (this will result in both a caloric and fiscal benefit)

All of those things would make me a better, healthier person. Except for the first – I read somewhere that dropping an F-bomb when you’re mad/upset/in pain helps you cope with the situation better, but I’m too lazy to look it up. Oh add that on: #4 – be not lazy. Regardless, I just think it might be more ladylike of me to not say expletives, and anyone who knows me knows that I am on an eternal quest to be more ladylike. Wait, would acronyms count?? Hmm. I guess I can just yell OMLG whenever I feel like going primal.

I need a nap.

from: blackmarketborn.com

Hey, look Buff – kitten mittens.

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