Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘public transportation’

Cue the crop tops and denim diapers

Posted by AllieB on April 16, 2015

Yesterday, for the first time since October, it was 70+ degrees in New York. Much as the black bear emerges from its cave after the long winter months, so too do the citizens of NYC.  Everywhere you look, people so pale they’re almost translucent are lighting their puffer jackets on fire and congratulating themselves on surviving another soul-crushing, morale-killing, life-sucking winter season: “so this is why we live here!” Cue the crop tops and denim diapers: HELLO SPRING. Oh yes – now that it’s getting warm I’ve got a whole new arsenal of things to complain about.

It will probably snow next week. Mother Nature has such a great sense of humor!

Bryant Park is trying

Bryant Park is trying… #tryharder

Y’all would tell me if I talked about the weather too much, right?

I’m going to share some thoughts with you now. Having lived in two different cities post-college, I feel like I have the credibility to say that every city has unique traits and hardships that make you love/hate/love/HATE it, and you, as a resident, must adapt accordingly. New York is the best place on earth but it can also be a real sonofabitch – here’s how we get by in the Big Apple:

Indifference: new “hot” restaurants open every day, it seems. Before you know it, all you’re hearing about is that spot in Alphabet City where you MUST go and definitely get burrata and the burger and the kale salad will literally change your life. So you talk about going with your friends – let’s totally go next week to that new place! It doesn’t matter if they don’t take reservations, I hear the broiled oysters are life-changing, so we will wait for 2 hours in the crowded bar where regardless of where you stand you’re totally in the way. Next week comes and suddenly you’re like…let’s go to the bar across the street.

Then, on top of that, you get so sick of people raving about the new place that you ultimately just end up saying you’ve been and those oysters really are life-changing but somehow never actually go and then it closes. I feel like as much as there is to do and see and eat all over the city, there’s also all of that on your block. I am hesitant to use the word “lazy” – geographically averse, perhaps.

Disclaimer: we do venture to different ‘hoods and boroughs, but we’re also very supportive of our respective neighborhoods. And that’s not indifference, that is loyalty, and New Yorkers are nothing if not loyal.

Whine: we get to complain about the weather; you do not.*

*Unless you live in Boston or Chicago, but you chose your choice so I will still complain.

Denial: people will read things like this depressing AF list of 10 Reasons Why You Can’t Afford to Live in New York City that states then proves with hard facts and numbers that the cost of living here is double the national average, but then qualify it by saying, “but who cares – it’s New York!”

Or, another example: “A rat ran across my foot in the subway this morning then I get hit by a bike delivery guy; it started pouring but I didn’t have an umbrella, and there was a fire at the W. 4th Street station, so no downtown trains were running and the Uber surge was 12%. Oh, and the guy who lives above me is auditioning for STOMP. But I wouldn’t live anywhere else because NEW YORK.”

Basically, we’re all in abusive relationships with this city, but at least we’re all in them together…

Ok, I’m done with the thoughts.

I did not post a picture for Sibling Day last week, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my siblings!!

sibling day whatever

 Happy Baptism, Jordan! Or whatever. Everyone look at me.

Do you watch Veep? You really, really should – even if you’re easily offended by crass language or your favorite show is Real Housewives of Injectables, you should still watch it. It’s the best show on tv.

IG account of the week: BowenTheLab. He’s like a puppy but also a grandfather and I LOVE HIM.

Don’t forget to take your Zyrtec. TGIT!

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In a perfect world…

Posted by AllieB on July 31, 2014

In a perfect world…

– pizza = kale

– Instagram automatically blocks all uploads with the caption “not bad for a Monday” and people who – in my opinion – post too much are limited to one photo per week. May I suggest Snapchat? Snapchat is a nice, disposable way to overshare. Also, you don’t have to use hashtags… #mostofyoushouldnot

– my Seamless order always comes in 15 minutes, even when the estimated time of arrival says 45-60 minutes

– the cute guy on the subway would not be married/5’4″/have halitosis.

– I would pay $475/month for rent, which is what the students at the University of Georgia (and surrounding community colleges, let’s be honest) moving into this ‘Jersey Shore Goes to Athens’ development are paying. Is this for real?? A LAZY RIVER?!

athens ridge apartments pool

in addition to the lazy river, there is also a 20 ft outdoor tv and 25 person hot-tub. they should prob go ahead and add an on-site physician to treat all those “rashes” and have people sign release forms for the inevitable reality show

– Crimes Against Humanity would be punishable by law. No longer would we have to wait for karma to be the bitch – we could instantly dictate some sort of penalty befitting the nature of the crime. For example, when that jerk stole my cab on 18th and 8th the other night I could sentence him to a month-long inability to flag down any cabs and blackball him from Uber. That’d teach him. In a perfect world you can’t treat people like sh*t and get away with it, and your Crime Against Humanity would be promptly and properly handled. Perhaps one of those rashes going around that cesspool in Athens would make you think twice…

– dishwashers unload themselves

– much like the Red Sea parted for Moses so do the tourists on 42nd Street for me

– the girl in the Wendy’s commercial doesn’t exist. Neither do the Kardashians, Real Housewives, or LeAnn Rimes. Blake Lively isn’t allowed to speak and Channing Tatum is my boyfriend. I really don’t know what is up with my Channing Tatum crush, but it’s proving to stand the test of time/judgement of my peers.

guys, c'mon - how cute is this

guys, c’mon – how cute is this

– four-day work weeks – this could happen, y’all

– I can teleport anywhere I care to go. I could just suddenly appear in your living room or at the bday party or next to you on the beach. I would never miss anyone or anything again. SURPRISE IT’S ME ALLIE!

– happy hour on a boat has the same benefits as a Flywheel class – they are equidistant from my apartment, surely their physical impact should be equal as well?

– I WOULD HAVE SO MANY PUPPIES

PUPPIES

 Summering in Montauk with all of my puppies

Dang…reality bites.

For those of you who read books, I have the following titles teed up on my Kindle – I am too lazy to add summaries, but I did add genre you are welcome:

Big Little Lies by Lianne Moriarty (chick lit)

One Plus One by Jojo Moyes (chick lit)

Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail by Cheryl Strayed (memoir – Reese Witherspoon stars in movie coming out in Oct)

Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline (fiction)

Close Your Eyes, Hold Hands by Chris Bohjalian (fiction)

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (historical fiction – WWII)

Flash Boys: A Wall Street Revolt by Michael Lewis (nonfiction)

I Like You Just the Way I Am by Jenny Mollen (memoir – chick lit)

The Heist by Daniel Silva (mystery)

Lastly, I implore you to take a minute and watch this vid – it’s overwhelming to think about all that’s wrong with the world, but it’s also pretty neat to see what a difference you can make on a very small, local level. In a perfect world we would all be so considerate. I really love this – thanks, A.

The End. This weather is redonk – you should all have drinks outside on patios/rooftops this evening, as I intend to. TGIT!

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Might I suggest an alternative method of transport

Posted by AllieB on September 9, 2010

I never thought that I would appreciate MARTA, or that it could possibly be the better option in comparison to another city’s public transit system, but I stand corrected.

Perhaps the concept of personal space simply doesn’t exist in Japan – that’s the only explanation for the apparent tolerance of this inhumanity. I’m having an anxiety attack just watching it. BOUNDARIES, PEOPLE.

Oh my god.

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