Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for July, 2011

Here. Read this.

Posted by AllieB on July 22, 2011

In lieu of putting forth any effort, I share with you a collection of interesting things I found on the interweb.

A not entirely inaccurate depiction of how the sexes handle break ups. Plus, I really like Leighton’s flat face. And I’m practicing my head toss – if I can get half as good as the girl in the last one, I’ll be doing okay. Now THAT is breezy.

The 50 most delicious foods in the world. Much to my surprise, I didn’t really have any opposition to this list. Some things are kind of broad – i.e., “tacos – Mexico” and they definitely phoned it in with “ice cream – United States” but Thai food gets the credit it deserves…WAIT I don’t think cheesesteaks are on there. I OBJECT.

These are particularly helpful to those of you who live in cities where you actually walk around in the city: how to deal with those pesky construction workers and their leering remarks. I like, LET ME TRY ON YOUR HAT!”

A Mother’s Prayer – by Tina Fey. Tina Fey is really funny all of the time. OMG which remiiiinds me – VH1 is constantly airing “Best of SNL” specials, and they have one about the time post 9/11 and what it was like to do the show and how they handled the sensitive subject matter…anyway, I watched it with Leila the other night and it’s awesome. I cannot find the name of the episode online, which suggests that the internet is broken, but you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it. Record it.

Ok, this guy is batsh*t bonkers. (Credit: FM)

The only way to watch Inception…they make a good point.

This book makes me look forward to being a parent. Not because I love dropping the F bomb and hope my child’s first word is that word -I don’t think I’d actually read this to my child – but it tells it like it is. Like would you PLEASE JUST GO TO SLEEP…ok and this is even better – here is Samuel L. Jackson reading it.

Drinking whilst exercising! Exercising whilst drinking! Germany may not have gotten everything right, but they nailed this.

Lastly…do nothing for two minutes.

Happy WEEKEND!!!

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BBT!!!

Posted by AllieB on July 21, 2011

Feliz cumpleaños! Joyeux anniversaire! Buon compleanno! สุขสันต์วันเกิด! سالگرہ مبارک! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (credit: Google Translate)

On this day in 2010, I posted my very first blog entry. I wrote it, published it, sent an email to a few people, left my office for lunch, and had massive anxiety the moment I was out the door. How far I’ve come!!!

Some neat facts:

Most viewed entry: Racks come in all shapes and sizes (this, unfortunately, is due to the J Simps reference I have in quotes and picks up an embarrassing number of Goog searches. I hope she doesn’t kill me in my sleep.)

Most commented entry: BBT Exclusive: Survey of the Sexes (one of these days….we’ll do #2)

Most popular feedback (male): ENOUGH KATE MIDDLETON – but she is pretty hot (I’m a girl and I like royalty)

Most popular feedback (female): I want a shout out!! (can’t force these things…your time will come)

BBT is nothing without her readers – many thanks to those who faithfully visit, and especially those who make suggestions – even if they’re dumb, I appreciate the effort.

I didn’t really know what to do to celebrate, so I made a collage of myself. I feel pretty retarded about it, but I’ve got a lot going on today so it is what it is.

Thank you for joining me.

Logo by Hilbilly

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »

Informative Disinformation

Posted by AllieB on July 20, 2011

GROUP DINNERS!!! Who doesn’t love having a meal of food with 18 people at a long, rectangular table and being stuck at the end, relegated to a corner with the dunce and the doofus, and then getting a check for $80 when you had a salad and shared a bottle of $25 wine (and possibly a martini – but still, that’s clearly too much. (Unless your martini was made of gold, as the margarita at Varasano’s is. $17.50 is the price for a 4 oz tequila beverage…just so you know…order accordingly.)) Well, per this Handy Guide shared with me by OD, How to Split a Check, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles at group dins. (If you’re 25 and older – if you’re under 25 and you’re reading this…well, isn’t that nice for you.)

Now, the observant among you have read this, processed it and realized that in a group-dining scenario, one is effectively incentivized to order lavishly and imbibe irresponsibly, because not everyone else will, and thus what you end up paying will be disproportionate to what you actually owe, meaning that you make out like a bandit while your schmuck pals who exercise restraint in the name of fiscal responsibility end up subsidizing you. This is correct!

I don’t really love group dinners. Unless we go to Treehouse and Bethenny splits the check as we order – I always appreciate that. Rory at Paul’s does that, too. Also, be advised, not eating and only drinking at restaurants doesn’t do you much good. If you’re really trying to save $$, bring vodka disguised in a water bottle and order club soda. I’M KIDDING that’s pathetic – don’t do that. Everyone will stare at you in disdain and someone might even ask you to leave. If the situation is that dire, stay home. Wisdom: imparted.

Why does no one have house parties anymore? Jeez. Lindsay, maybe we need to be telling more people about your beer pong table that folds up into a briefcase.

RUMORS!! Unbeknownst to me, there have been rumors circulating that J Simps is pregs – she’s aggressively denying them, of course…It’s not for me to say, obviously, but this picture may or may not be the reason why…

Source: Daily Mail

And Leo dumped Boobs!!! Muuahahahaha. That’s what you get for being desperate to be Mrs. Leonardo DiCaprio.

Evidently the niceness of yesterday was a one-time thing.

Happy almost Bday, BBT! Un día más

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

I’m not usually this nice – ride the wave

Posted by AllieB on July 19, 2011

I am a wealth of generosity today – I think I woke up on the right side of the bed (thankfully, not upside down).

First, may I direct your attention to the menu bar above – HOME, ALL ABOUT ALLIE, ATLANTA RESTAURANTS: A GUIDE, BEST OF BBT, and…BOOK LIST! I promised one P.V. (pre-virus), and it’s come to fruition. I wouldn’t call it comprehensive, necessarily, but it’s a good start. And, if I could steer you towards one read in particular, it would be Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. It is by far the best book I’ve read in 2011. It’s topping all kinds of charts, but the subject matter seemed daunting and I’d been putting it off…don’t make the same mistake as me. It’s a WWII non-fiction story, and it is – in a word – spectacular.

WEEEEEEE! My mom gave me the hard copy of a WSJ article a couple of weeks ago featuring these leaping pigs, then InTouch featured the photo in some weird photo section they have in the back (InTouch is not for reading – it’s for pictorial perusal only), and then Yancey asked here it had come from, so I looked online and hark! here it is.

One guess whose handiwork this is.

CKB’s in town to do wedding stuff…..BOLO for a 27 Dresses-esque montage of hein b’maids dresses. Not for serious, of course, but just for fun. Part of MoH duties include vetoing things that are ugly, but I will gladly prance around in the most hein thing they’ve got for our own entertainment. That’s how it works, right? Bridal shoppes love me….BRIDES by Demetrios, in particular.

I am feeling unusually charitable this morning – I very easily could’ve segued to a mini-rant about why Katherine Heigl is the pits, but I refrained. I think it’s the pigs – the pigs are making me extra friendly. If you’ve got something you need from me, today would be the day to ask. Sister, yes I WILL make you that sandwich.

ALSO I fixed my insides and am now showing up properly on the Goog. “Baxter Bark Twice” gets you straight to my page…that was a huge pain.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

That’s that

Posted by AllieB on July 18, 2011

Suffice it to say, it was an emotional Sunday. I subjected myself to unnecessary grief by watching the series finale of Friday Night Lights and then sitting through the last installment of the Harry Potter films. I am reminded of Sping 2k4 – cut to: the night before my last exam when I was studying at a friend’s apartment, enduring the series finale of Friends, my favorite television program, alone. He walked in midway through to find me on the couch, my books spread around me, bawling freely….he quietly excused himself and retreated quickly back across the courtyard.

Look, sorry I’m not sorry I allow myself to be engaged by quality tv and cinema presentations.

Friday Night Lights has been sensational this entire last season. It’s already out on DVD, so I highly recommend queuing up your Netflix. AND both Coach Taylor and Tami Taylor were nominated for Emmy’s again, as was the program on a whole. Talk about deserving winners…Coach Taylor could tell me throw myself in front of a bus and I’d say, “can I throw myself in front of two?” I love that guy.

Harry Potter was a-MAH-zing. They jump right in where they left off with the first installment, and it’s a non-stop thrill ride til the very end. Actually, no, the very end is a little awkward, but up until there are 5 minutes left – heart-pounding thrill ride. Why do movie critics always say “thrill ride?” I have never used that phrase before, ever, and how strange that it’s used re: a decidedly stationary activity. Just saying. Also – I thoroughly enjoyed this “Best of” retrospective covering all of the Harry Potter movies on NYMag.

BBT HIGHLY recommends both. Doooo it.

Meet and greet: BP’s new PUPPY PIPPA!!!! Can you tell which one is Pippa the Pup, and which one is Pippa Middleton made entirely out of crumpets? (I know, so weird.)

I LOVE PIPPA THE PUP!!! (She’s on the left)

Here’s Tex’s Tacos schedule for the week.

Here’s your weekly horoscope.

Here’s how to VOTE FOR BBT!!!!!!!!!

Guess who turns ONE this Thursday…? Hint: it’s not a mammal; it’s a blog which you may or may not be reading at this very moment.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 7 Comments »