Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for April, 2012

I’ve sat here for 10 minutes and cannot think of a title

Posted by AllieB on April 25, 2012

Like: the most recent ad by Google Chrome wherein a man uses all of Google’s nifty apps to win back the one who got away. Before you scoff at my lameness and scroll down to the next paragraph, PLEASE take a look. You know how rarely I do videos on BBT… I truly wish the best to Mark Potter. Re: needing sound – the music adds to the overall effect, but I guess it’s not 100% mandatory:

I take it back, you need sound.

Dislike*: I was very, very wrong about “Don’t Trust the B*tch in Apartment 23″. It was NOT good. Dawson Leary was pretty funny, but I think he only seemed funny in comparison to the heinosity (yes, heinosity) of the other storylines/characters. Skip. Deactivate the season record. Do not want.

*What a testament to my ever-present optimism: that a TV show is the only thing I dislike right now. Even I am inspired by my sunny outlook on life.

**Retract. Between that last line and this one I realized I very much dislike how I pale I am, that it is somehow only Wednesday, and that I am very dissatisfied with everything in my closet.

On Notice/That Is Whack: I am shocked – shocked – that I am still writing about this: that in the time I began questioning her pregnancy, I have changed jobs, quit writing BBT for 2 months, gone to the moon, and finally figured out what happened to Amelia Earhart (we’ll get to that in my next post)…..and yet, she is STILL pregnant. HOW?!? I’m not kidding, I actually need someone to answer this question. I’ve come to the conclusion that JSimps is not a human, but either a giraffe – giraffes carry their young for 15 months or an elephant – they carry their babies for 22 months.

I think this answers that.

Honestly, I don’t even enjoy making fun of her anymore – the material has gone stale…I’m guessing y’all are feeling similarly. I’m no doctor, but might it be time to induce this thing..?

HAPPY BIRTHDAYS TO LeBOOF and LEILA!!! Welcome to your late twenties.

Have a wonderful Wednesday. I mean that sincerely, without any irony.

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Low-Brow > High-Brow

Posted by AllieB on April 18, 2012

Three posts in a row?! I’m on fiyah.

My hobbies include writing BBT, going for yogs, driving around, and reading – I really like to read. My taste tends to air on the side of trashy with a side of smut, but what’re ya gonna do – it’s an escape. Sorry I’m not sorry I like best sellers and chick lit and my latest find…which needs a category all of its own. A few ideas that come to mind are “inappropriate” and “you should have to show ID to purchase this book.” The only reason I feel like it’s okay to bring it up on BBT, whose PG-13 rating I vigilantly maintain, is because they talked about it on the Today Show and a movie – a mainstream movie – is in the works. Meet & greet: The Fifty Shades Trilogy.

This is some steamy stuff. The whole premise is this young college graduate, Anastasia, and an older (27 year-old??) man, Christian, who is very rich but also very ‘damaged.’ So damaged, in fact, that the only kind of relationship he knows is one of Dominance/Submission. This is also known as BDSM, about which you will learn entirely too much in the first book. He is the Dominant and he seeks out Submissives who are skinny with brown hair because they look like his ‘crack whore mother.’ Already I feel like I’ve stepped outside of my BBT boundaries…Mom, you will not like this book. I’m about to start the third and final installment, and I’m very excited. Turns out there’s a whole plot that is getting pretty thrilling. Is the writing good? No…but it’s not unreadable. I found Twilight to be unreadable – the thing read like a movie script. Is it a guilty pleasure? Quite. Even for me and my admittedly low-brow tastes this goes a bit far. Do I recommend it? Yes…but only if you take it for what it is.

According to Amazon: Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever. Um, that might be going a bit far…I’m not a psycho, I just like the books. Whatever, go to here to purchase/find out more. Credit: Lucy. I just remembered that I have an old post entitled Bookshelf Porn after a website featuring photos of people’s personal libraries…well Fifty Shades of Grey might actually be bookshelf porn.

A new show comes on after Modern Family tonight: Don’t Trust the B*tch in Apartment 23. I think it looks funny for the following reasons: 1. James van der Beek is in it and he’s kind of playing himself…like still trying to flaunt his Dawson Leary days. We miss those days, too, Dawson. 2. Kristen Ritter is funny. She was one of the few highlights in 27 Dresses and I think her droll delivery is entertaining. 3. This is the description on IMDb: Centers on Chloe, a New York party girl with the morals of a pirate who bullies and causes trouble for her naive small town roommate June.

Sold. So, tune in, DVR, whatever…if you look at my track record, when I say it’s going to be good, it’s going to be good. I was right about Cougar Town, I was right about Happy Endings, I was right about Homeland, and I was right about Revenge. I’m 4 for 4 suckas.

There are many view points on quality vs quantity…as in, should I pump the brakes on writing something if I don’t have a whole lot to say? (I’m referencing this post, BTW.) I think I’m still in fragile territory with my readers, so I’m going quantity > quality. Take it or leave it. And I think I might need to reassess my taste in books and television, maybe class things up a bit….

Happy Hump Day!

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Pizza for everybody!

Posted by AllieB on April 16, 2012

This is not brand new information, but I demand a click-thru on this link: #WHATSHOULDWECALLME. It’s funny because it’s true and awesome and I love GIF images.

 FLIRTING 

What I think I look like:

What I actually look like:

Haha. Happy Munday. Also, Happy Eggs Benedict Day – true story.

Obviously my spreadsheet is woefully out of date, and I’m sure one of these days I’ll get around to updating it, but for now…whatever. I did venture to one of the newer spots in town this weekend: STG Trattoria on W. Paces Ferry in the same complex as Flywheel and Dry Bar. It’s really good! K and I shared a Nature Salad, which really was full of nature: radishes, beets, carrots…more nature than I usually prefer, frankly, but it was lightly dressed and we wanted something crunchy and green, so it served its purpose. Then we shared the Spinach, Proscuitto, Mushroom, Parmesan, Bechamel pizza, which was amazing. My favorite part was definitely the bechamel…just kidding – I don’t know what that is, but it made my pizza awesome. There are lots of neat things about STG, from the wine-bottle lined entry way, to the u-shaped dining bar that kind of focuses on the huge super-hot ovens that they cook that pizza in. It’s run by the same guy who does Bocado – Brian Lewis – and he’s got Joshua Hopkins of Abbatoir (LOVE) and Adam Waller of Sotto Sotto (ALSO LOVE) in the kitchen. I think this place will only improve over time, but it will also be very loud when it’s crowded – not shocking given that dining at Bocado is like playing a screaming match of tennis. Word to the wise: be very specific when you order your bottle of wine, lest you end up with a $54 one as opposed to a $29 one…oh yeah – the extensive wine list is all sold at a retail prices so none of that pesky 200% restaurant mark-up. BBT says: go forth and dine. Two forks up.

I ought to start taking pictures of my food now that I am with iPhone, which I am absolutely loving. I’ve been terribly busy the last few days, so I don’t feel like I’ve totally acquainted myself with it…much to my dismay, the manual was not that 50 page booklet like most devices, but some very simple and abbreviated fold-out pamphlet. I kind of feel like Apple threw me in the deep end without any floaties…

*Pizza for everybody! – Rebecca, if you’re reading this, I did it for you….long live Oz 2k3!

Short but sweet, no? I’m slowly but surely getting back into the swing of the blogosphere. Do your part and eat some hollondaise today. TTFN!

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , | 5 Comments »

Guess who’s back.

Posted by AllieB on April 12, 2012

Oh hey. It’s been over two months since I last wrote. Why, you ask? I’m not entirely sure why…but once one week goes by, and then another, and then five more, it gets real difficult to get back into things. Excuses, excuses…I have been overwhelmed by fan outrage, however, regarding BBT’s not-so-justified hiatus, so thanks for that. Sorry I made you mad, but sorry I’m not sorry you’ve made me feel loved. Anyway, for reals, lots of things happened that aided and abetted my absence…por ejemplo:

Tina and Kirk got married in Charleston…awesome weekend. A real highlight was the toast Jennifer and I gave at the Rehearsal Dinner, as well as the kickass 80′s band at the reception. I highly recommend going with a genre band, especially one where the singers have poofy perms and wear tight pants. It is the Ultimate Dance Party. The wedding, as you can see below, took place at the somewhat picturesque Legare-Waring House just outside of Charleston. I mean, I guess it was kind of attractive…ish.

Congrats to Tina and Kirk Adams!!! Salud.

Then, my sister Charlotte married Stanton here in Atlanta. I have to say, we throw a pretty great party…it was a wonderful weekend and I got to see all kinds of family that I never get to see, and we laughed and danced and ate and drank and everyone was very, very merry.

From top left: Gaylen, Allie, Jo, Char at welcoming party – we heart spray tans…bridesmaid luncheon…Rehearsal Dinner


We clean up nice, don’t we?

From top: Char and Stanton with Grandma…the most beautiful bride eva…cousins!!

Congrats to Charlotte and Stanton Maines!! Prost.

Let’s touch on a few other things:

- I am a HUGE fan of Flywheel, which just opened up in Atlanta. It’s a really aggressive spin class featuring very loud music and instructors who yell a lot – but in a good, motivating way. I even won the class the first time I took it…I have subsequently not performed so well, but it’s fun to have the competitive aspect of the “power board” where you can see how fast and far you go. I like that they give you the proper spinning shoes, also. Conversations you will likely overhear before/after Flywheel include: “So we’re headed down to Rosemary on Friday…John is already down there playing golf..” and “My shopper at Neiman’s called about the Cavalli I asked about…” and “I just got myself injected with all kinds of crap and now my face looks like it can blink itself, what do you think?” Ok, maybe not that last one, but you get my drift…there is excellent people watching at Flywheel. BBT highly recommends the entire experience.

-Jessica Simpson has yet to give birth. This scientific marvel truly makes my head explode, as I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW SHE IS STILL PREGNANT, but there’s still 8 more days til we meet…whatever the H it is that emerges from her. Listen, I was an 11 lb 2 oz baby, which I get is quite large – in fact, it is more than the total combined weight of Hilary and Norah when they were born – but this is completely ridiculous. Also, I’d like to note that she is serving as a wedding attendant in the pic below…can we all agree that if someone is this grossly ginormous pregnant, that maybe they can sit out on the bridesmaid duties? I mean, it’s not going to be good for photos. If I were J Simps, I’d hide under a rock – boulder? – until I gave birth.

However, something has happened that trumps BOTH my best friend and sister getting married…something that that will irrevocably alter my life forever and ever…

I got an iPhone. It’s arriving via FedEx today. I. Am. SO. EXCITED. I’ve already started accumulating apps. Please, share with me your favorites…and not like Instagram and other mainstream ones, but obscure, cool ones I need to have…and get ready to be dominated in Words with Friends.

Alright, that’s more than enough for now. I just wanted to say hey…hey.

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