Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘hump day happenings’

50 Shades of Do Not Want

Posted by AllieB on September 25, 2013

Hey guys! On the Effort Scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is standing up and 10 is walking to the kitchen, today’s post is about a 1.25.

50 Shades of Do Not Want: I’ve been over 50 Shades of Grey for awhile now, and, even though I obviously made my way thru all three books, I definitely judge anyone who is still reading them…similarly, I am an equal opportunity indulger of  any and all (red) wine, but even I turn my nose at this: 50 Shades of Grey Wine. There are two varietals: White Silk and Red Satin. That’s disgusting. Also, it’s going for $18/bottle! You could buy two non-embarrassing bottles of malbec for that; this just goes from bad to worse. BBT says: absolutely not.

IT Allie asks: have you downloaded the new iOS 7? Do it. Do it now. It’s like getting a whole new phone! And, given that I’ve actually downgraded to a plain old 4 from a 4S instead of upgrading (April 2k14..!), this is especially exciting for moi. I’ve had zero kinks – just back your shiz up. iTunes Radio is a great addition, and the camera has improved. Everyone also loves the Control Center; the pros abound. Me, I mostly just think it’s really pretty…

ios screen shot

background

I feel v exposed, like I just showed you my bank acct balance or undergarment drawer

-I’ve heard a few things about the fingerprint scanner on the new 5S: cats can do it, hackers figured out to hack it, and…this: You Can Also Unlock the iPhone 5 S with Your  Junk. Y’all, that’s gross.

-Closing out apps is not entirely intuitive – here’s how.

-Have you recently lost your 3rd Kindle? Just me? Well, fear not, because Amazon has released yet another Kindle, the Kindle Fire HDX, complete with a “mayday” button that links to live support 24/7/365, promising a 15 second or less response time. Dang. (Credit: Charlotte!)

Watching: My roommates love The Voice, so it looks like I love The Voice, too. I’m just not sure I’m emotionally equipped to handle it. They draw you in with heart-wrenching backstories of these people want nothing more than to share the gift of music, then they go out on stage, sing their hearts out, and….none of the judges pick them. Although, I do respect the judges for refraining from the pity pick – I’d have a team of losers halfway thru the first audition. I’m such a softie. Modern Family starts back tonight, SNL on Saturday, and T minus 103 hours, give or take, til Homeland Season 3 returns. (It took me almost as long to calculate that number just now)

SHE WOULD: Blake Lively is starting her own GOOPy-sounding company. Boobs Legsly, a moniker that isn’t even legit anymore since she’s morphed into this married class act, is even easier to hate than Gwyneth. Obviously I will read every issue, scoffing at the recipes but diligently saving all of them. It annoys me when people talk about “curating” a lifestyle. I can barely curate my salad from Chop’t*.

GFY, seriously

GFY, seriously

*I actually have a bombass salad order: Spinach, Kale, Fresh Jalapeños, Cucumber, Tomato, Pepper Jack Cheese, FreeBird Ancho Chile Chicken, Tri-Color Quinoa, Low-Fat Spa Greek Yogurt Tzatziki Dressing. I made it up all by myself. FACE.

Fall is here! I really am going to pump the brakes on talking about weather. Elmore Leonard, the renowned novelist who passed away recently, had a list of of 10 Rules for Good Writing:

  1.  Never open a book with weather.

I took a quick look at past BBT posts, and, if you replace “book” with “blog” I’m not doing so hot – same with the other nine. Whatever, I’m a slow learner. Like I was saying: fall is here! I want to swaddle myself in 1,000 sweaters (I like these: Dear Santa/if I budget better); fill my apartment with the aroma of spiced cider (the spiked cider looks good, pretty sure if I had a cabernet candle in my apt I’d have to have a bottle of cabernet open…oh wait); and jump in piles of leaves (don’t need sound and really only need to watch like first ten secs).

 

Happy Wednesday to all of you, and HAPPY FRIDAY to meeee! I’m headed south for a sure-to-be perfect wedding – can wait to see ya, EmilyB (cc: W Port)!

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I asked, and then I answered

Posted by AllieB on March 13, 2013

Name: BBT

Age: I am 29 years old. In sixty-seven days I am turning thirty, and in seventy days I am having a superfab thirtieth birthday party. Join me, won’t you? Actually, it’s going to be invite only…but maybe you’ll get one. K, we’ve got a lot to talk about this weekend.

Neighborhood: West Village

Occupation: I have a job at a company and I work in an office. I like it a lot, therefore I will not disclose the name so as not to link us in any way. I’m confident they’re not at all ashamed that I work here, but better safe than sorry…who knows – maybe I work for the CIA

Who’s your favorite New Yorker, living or dead, real or fictional? Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City is my favorite fictional New Yorker. I wish she was real.

miranda

What’s the best meal you’ve eaten in New York? L’ArtusiPerilla, Pylos, the crab spring rolls in Grand Central Market…I have a new best meal like every day. Eating well is impossible to not do here

Do you give money to panhandlers? Sometimes and only when there’s music involved – like the guy who plays the accordion in the tunnel of the Bryant Park subway station during morning rush hour. And the guy on the 1 last week who was playing “Georgia On My Mind” on  his harmonica – I gave him $2.

What’s your drink? It might be easier to say what is not my drink, and that is white wine. It used to be just Chardonnay I didn’t like, but I’ve pretty much cut out all white varietals. White wine – blech

white wine

I can’t talk about wine without a shoutout to these two – see you soooon!

How often do you prepare your own meals? Eh. Once a week? I try to make something on Sunday that I can have during the week when I work late and don’t feel like making dinner…thus far I’ve accomplished this exactly zero times, so I guess when I said “once a week” just then I was fibbing. Sorry, Gaylen

What’s your favorite medication? Melatonin, maybe. Definitely not the sleeping aid my work friend gave me. Let me tell you something: when someone offers you no-name sleeping pill from Mexico and warns you to break it up into fourths, or smaller if possible, and to make sure you have a “loooooooong time” to sleep it off, it is in your best interest to decline. Trust me on this…me and Captain Obvious.

What’s hanging above your sofa? A big mirror. It is probably from West Elm

How much is too much to spend on a haircut? It depends where I am in my budget cycle. I almost walked into Great Clips the other day…Allie, NO!

When’s bedtime? Midnight

What do you hate most about living in New York? I am legitimately terrified that I’m either going to trip and fall into the path of an oncoming subway or that some loco person is going to push me.

Who is your mortal enemy? Taylor Swift; LeAnn Rimes; the dry cleaner on my corner that I swear closes when they see me coming…notably not mentioned: Hilary. Hilary is actually something of a hero today. (I’m not even going to make a remark about packing your ice skates because hell has frozen over – that’s how sincerely I mean it.)

When’s the last time you drove a car? Christmas. But I will this weekend!!! I miss driving.

#BuckheadBetty

BBiT: Buckhead Betty in Training. Hop in, y’all!

How has the Wall Street crash affected you? Yes

Where do you go to be alone? I think if you’re sans mobile device, you’re pretty much alone. I leave mine at home when I run errands sometimes. NYC can be very isolating even when you’re surrounded by peeps. I am reminded of my going away party when people kept playing “All By Myself” – kinda mean, looking back.

What makes someone a New Yorker? I don’t know the answer to this just yet…I do know this city is not for everyone, and I think you’d probably know pretty much instantly if wasn’t a good fit. Me – I knew right away that moving here was my best decision of all of my decisions. This doesn’t say much, given my history of decision-making, but it feels good to get at least one right.

The End. (Credit: NYMag 21 Questions)

Now for the other stuff:

This corgi saw himself in the mirror for the first time and I die:

mirror image_corgi

If you love Friends the TV show even half as much as I do, you will appreciate these two compilations of the best, most quotable quotes and scenes. (Part one, Part deux)

The 13 Most Annoying Questions People Ask Dogs. This is very true and accurate and funny, and I already knew that dogs hate it when they’re asked them because Missy told me ages ago. She keeps me in the loop on stuff.

 “Where’s your bone?”

The 13 Most Annoying Questions People Ask Dogs

I missed y’all last week, so I wanted to write early this week. I plan to return on Thursday. Until then!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Not only is your fly open, there’s a pencil sticking out of it

Posted by AllieB on January 30, 2013

I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I am skipping around in a field of daises full of leaping puppies with cheesesteaks and red wine as faaaaar as the eye can see. And it’s not just today – lately I’ve found myself seeking out interaction with pretty much any and everyone – I never realized how much more interesting the day is if you talk to the guy at the bodega, or whomever. (NOTE: I would never – even if I’d just won the lottery and found out J Simps is giving birth to triplets – EVER initiate conversation with strangers  on the subway or train. That’s like the public transportation equivalent of a sanctuary.) On Friday, for instance, I talked to a guy in the elevator. He was wearing a suit, and he told me he didn’t know why he wore suits on Friday, but that it probably had something to do with his Catholic school upbringing. I agreed and then suggested that perhaps that explained a lot of other things as well – oh, but did we laugh!

There are myriad reasons as to why I am Animated (Annoying?) Allie today:

1. I’m going to AUSTIN on Friday!! Not only have I never been there, but I’ve never even been to Texas! Plus, I did some thinking, and this is my first non-wedding-related, non-family trip that I’ve taken since 2007, the occasional random lake/mountain/beach weekend notwithstanding. I guess I mean the first trip I’ve taken that required flight and days off. We’re staying here, dining here, and doing whatever else we please. BOLO for Insta-overload.

Four Seasons Austin. Looks alright

Four Seasons Austin. Looks alright

*Oops. This is a rendering and not a picture. Thanks, Hilary – I guess this is what it feels like when someone corrects your grammar. The website is much cooler, you can go to the link above if you want to see it in all its splendor. Looks like I got schooled by the internet.

2. I move into my apartment tomorrow. I am the world’s WORST mover and I seem to be continuing my streak. At least I’m not slinging furniture down several flights of stairs and doing twelve – TWELVE – trips between my apartment and parents’ home to move all my crap. That was last summer, and that was the worst. This move is pretty much all clothes, and I’m shipping most of it. Assuming UPS picks up my boxes and they can be delivered to my apartment without me being there. I fear this could be a flawed system and it’s possible I’ll be wearing the same clothes for a week while I figure out what they’ve done with my items.

totally under control

My room on Monday – totally under control

3. These are back:

kate for the win

4. Amazon is sending me new sunglasses AND giving me credit for the order they messed up…twice.

Jabroni - nope; Bug Eyed - who knew there were shades too big for my dome?

Jabroni – eek; Bug Eyed – nope, but who knew there were shades too big for my dome?

The ones I want are a combo of those two…normal lens, normal size. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I love Amazon.

5. This Jack Donaghy insult generator – also credit for today’s title. We’re gonna miss you Liz Lemon.

6. Truf.

i-heart-ny

 Oh yeah. Happy Birthdays to Kara & Courtney! Remember when we all went to Trois like six years ago? Memories…

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

Bad writing, fine dining, and kids that are rich

Posted by AllieB on August 22, 2012

I posted last week about the UGA student who wrote an allegedly satirical column on how to find that perfect husband in college. A lot of people hadn’t seen it before, and a lot of people had comments – is she serious, is this a joke, please tell me this is not real, etc. Ever the diligent journalist, I delved deeper and tried to ascertain just what exactly the author was trying to achieve. Turns out she wrote a follow-up article entitled, “Writer of ‘How to find perfect husband in college’ reveals true nature of column”, and now I really can’t stand her. She opens with:

To all who do not understand satire…

I quit reading after that, so I guess I’ll never know what she was trying to accomplish, and, frankly, I’m unsure I have the capacity to care less. The last thing a contested writer needs to do is condescend those who deigned to read her material. I’m not a moron, and I, for the most part, tend to catch on pretty quick, and it was in no way clear to me that she was being funny – and that’s me playing real fast and loose with the word “funny.”

Puppy break!

In light of my imminent departure, I’ve made a concerted effort to make the most of Atlanta and all of its delights. Read: I’ve been going out to eat a lot. I’m kind of embarrassed about that “bucket list” I posted several weeks back re: things I wanted to do before I left. Surely I know better than to announce plans of intention on BBT – they so rarely pan out, and then I look like I don’t follow through on stuff. Which, whether or not that’s true, would be a moot issue if I didn’t open my big mouth in the first place. I don’t prefer announcing plans to people – some might argue this would hold you to keeping them, others (moi) might say mind your own beeswax. So, about dining out:

Bistro Niko: Just a really excellent meal of food. I got the steak frites with both the bernaise and the maitre d’hotel butter (obviously) and it was nothing short of decadent. It’s a happening place, Bistro Niko is. Also, when I was younger my barometer of gauging a restaurant’s “cool factor” was the bathroom: the bathrooms at BN are pretty tight. BBT says: I liked it before, but – if I were sticking around – I could see it becoming a real go-to.

The Optimist: I’m sick of talking about The Optimist. It’s great, and if you haven’t been you should go, but can we please stop talking about it.

Big Ketch: I could likely survive a good long while off their hush puppies. I still haven’t had anything else on the menu. Do, however, beware of patrons taking a mid-meal snooze on the patio…this really happened, I snapped the pic myself. Man down; lock it up; where are her friends she’s passed out in her chair.

Grindhouse Killer Burgers: Hell yes. This place rocks – it is currently my favorite of the burger places. I got an Apache Turkey burger (pepper jack cheese, grilled onions, and green chiles), and it was awesome. I might go back again before I go.

Flip Burger: Meh. I’m kind of over Mr. Blais.

All of these places, of course, are listed on the spreadsheet with pertinent info.

Blog of the Week: Rich Kids of Instagram (credit: Lia)

Actual photo caption: Matching… #Ferrari #inmylivingroom #oneofushas2change #hamptons #NBD

 To give you just a little bit of perspective, this is my last Instagram:

 Actual photo caption: My two loves: 32 oz of beverage and a royal compact. Best gift ever @carriewyatt!

Suddenly my two loves seem…inadequate. At least I’m not a total d-nozzle; I, for one, am able to dress myself with the utmost confidence that I will in no way resemble my Ferrari. This guy’s totally bush league.

Hope you’re doing something happy on this happiest of hump days – I intend to.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink, Imparting Wisdom, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 7 Comments »

For dudes, by dudes

Posted by AllieB on May 2, 2012

One thing I really appreciated during BBT’s prolonged hiatus was that, even though I’d gone by the wayside, people still sent me ideas/links/articles/pictures that they thought might be relevant. In many instances they were wrong, and the material wasn’t the least bit relevant, but with some they definitely were on point. RD: I’m looking at you. He sent me Bearings  “A Southern Lifestyle Guide for Men” (join me in my hypothermia-inducing nerd chills), and, while the subtitle was not my favorite, I came around after some browsing. Namely because they talk a lot about food.

1. A list of Buford Highway eateries. This is really helpful. While there are some veritable gems along the international corridor that is Buford Highway, there are also some very serious misses…and you wouldn’t want to accidentally go to the one that actually does serve alley cat in lieu of mystery meat.

2. A best-of restaurant list with sub-lists. Best Patio, Best Burger, Best Steakhouses, Best Breakfasts, Best BBQ…and more. Maybe I need to join forces with Bearings? Or, even better! I can do a female version…what would we call it…GRITS: You Are What You Eat…no, that’s no good. That doesn’t even make sense. Moving along.

3. This delicious recipe for Thai-Style Baby Back Ribs. Someone is more than welcome to cook these and then invite me over to try them.

Anyway, check it out…there’s a lot of interesting stuff: articles about wine, interviews with up and comers…I take back what I said about the nerd chills. This is legit.

And now, in other news……Eli Manning is hosting SNL on Saturday. The promos are great – I think it will be funny!

I’m not gonna lie, I’m pretty excited about The Avengers, opening this Friday. I don’t think I’ll go see it at midnight of opening day as Claire and I may or may not have done for the Hunger Games…….but I’m excited.

Another thing we may or may not have done is pose on the Red Carpet.

The other day my boss told me I look like Drew Barrymore.

Sure. Why not.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY! Go Braves! Go Hawks! Sports!!!

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , | 3 Comments »