Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

animals dressed as humans

Posted by AllieB on September 17, 2010

Panda is ready for the weekend. Are you?

Sis & Kayruh – too bad you didn’t see this before last night…you could’ve stolen his moves instead of mine. FILCHERS.

Ross: According to Chandler, what phenomenon scares the bejeezus out of him?

Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!

Ross: That is correct.

Joey: The Irish gig guy?!

Chandler: His legs flail about as if independent of his body!

The One With The Embryos

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Eye on the prize

Posted by AllieB on September 16, 2010

Jennifer Anniston is in Atlanta at this very minute filming her new movie, Wanderlust, with co-starr Paul Rudd.

First of all, I think the movie sounds very intriguing. An excerpt from onlocationvacations says:

In the movie, Jen and Paul play an urban couple who  stop at a rural B&B which turns out to be a commune filled with nudists, pot smoking and orgies. The script has created some buzz of its own because, reportedly, Aniston’s character has sex with a woman in the movie.

Maybe this will break her Rom-Com curse…?

Secondly, and much more importantly, this means she and Paul Rudd are trolling the streets of Buckhead, with sightings reported at Chops, St Regis, Whole Foods…I’ve been to Whole Foods no fewer than four times this week for various reasons, and I’ve seen nada.

I wonder what I’d do if I saw them. Probably something really awkward…I once spent a very brief segment of an evening with Owen Wilson and his entourage (thanks to JTomm), and, as we were all being introduced, I felt the inexplicable need to reach across the table and help myself to a handful of his nachos. He didn’t speak to me after that.

Jennifer and Paul are my chance to redeem myself – I must find them! Anyone want to get an AWD at the St. Regis?

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

One-upper extraordinaire

Posted by AllieB on September 15, 2010

Everyone has a friend like Penelope. No matter what happens, this one-upping scene-stealer always trumps your line, and I often get the feeling that their story isn’t quite on-level…

Watch below as Penelope actually uses a Shamwow! to quantify just how much she cried during a wedding ceremony.


Or, another example might be:

Allie: I got hit by a bus today

One-Upper: Today I was dragged six miles by an 18-wheeler, yet look how amazing my hair looks…and that doesn’t even compare to the time when the airplane took off before I was safely in my seat, and I flew alongside the plane all the way to Dubai…

See? It’s incredibly irritating.

Allie: I had the best day – I got a raise!

One-Upper: I got a raise AND a promotion!! And a brand new car plus an iPad, and it turns out I’m next in line to be the princess of a small and obscure yet extremely wealthy Eastern European country!!

It’s possible these stories are embellished for the purpose of underscoring my point.

Posted in Really? | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

Dear Jessica

Posted by AllieB on September 14, 2010

I’m worried about you. I’ve heard that you’re actually quite teeny in person, and I’m sure you are, but most people aren’t seeing you in person – they’re seeing you in US Weekly and People and on Tyler Durden, and these photos – they aren’t good.

Honestly, I’m not sure you even have all that much weight to lose – the problem is more that you insist upon dressing as though you’re actively seeking out ridicule. It seems that, these days, every time you leave the house it’s an egregious fashion fail. You’re cute! You have nice hair! Many people seem to find your ditziness endearing! You once had, like, the best body ever! You can doooooooo this!

Can we not:

Let’s revisit a time when things like this were happening:

a compilation by People from 2007 - these aren't necessarily my favorite looks, but you get the jist

In spite of your bevy of recent blunders, I am nevertheless optimistic. Just get a stylist and go for a couple of 3 mile yogs/week. Not unlike Lindsay Lohan, I think there is hope for you yet. And I’m sorry for comparing you to Lindsay Lohan just now – that may have been a bit harsh.

Your Friend – AllieB

P.S. Also, maybe stop talking about your poor hygiene while you’re on the talk show circuit – you’re not doing yourself any favors.

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Uninspiring Words for the Uninspired

Posted by AllieB on September 13, 2010

It’s Monday. I’m really tired. I’ve restricted all non-work related interaction to the following words:

Meh. Neat. Blerg.

All three of these are highly effective conversation enders. Give it a try – people leave you alone pretty much immediately, unless you’re talking to Hilary and she will not. She will just ask you more questions until you feel like your head might explode and you have to step away from your computer.

As a nod to the season premier’s of 90210 and Gossip Girl, both of which air TONIGHT, I share with you this mildly entertaining clip. (It wasn’t until I read a post on my own blog that I remembered this exciting bit of news. I feel very appreciative of my blogging efforts because I had totally forgotten they were coming on tonight, and my Monday Mania just decreased tenfold. Thanks, AllieB – consider your horn tooted.  (Tooted. Ha.))

Anyway, this clip is a mash-up of various GG clips from 2008 done in the style of the old-school 90210 credits. The little blonde girl with the big eyes and fresh face who you won’t recognize as a current cast member is Taylor Momsen, which, to use her words, makes me wanna die. She went from Cindy Lou Hoo to JailBait McMegaSlore pretty much overnight. It saddens me…it really does.

Yaaaaaaay Fall TV is back…!

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