Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Meet & Greet: Hilbilly Bel

Posted by AllieB on August 18, 2010

Allow me introduce my sort-of friend,  Billy.

I think this is a very accurate portrayal of her sweetly meek persona

She – yes, it’s a she – likes softball, chino pants, and the Georgia Bulldogs. You can often find her picking up tank tops at Gap Kids, or singing – that’s being generous, it’s really just a cacophonous assault on the eardrums – to “Rich Girl” at your local dive bar.

GAH, fine. This is the real Billy. She is my bestest and we talk every single day. I miss her because we don’t live in the same city anymore. And I say all of this without any irony.

I still think you’re a big ole pile of Heslop.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

On notice: TUESDAYS

Posted by AllieB on August 17, 2010

It has recently come to my attention that Tuesday is by FAR the worst day of the week. Here’s why:

  • Tuesday night tv is awful. I cannot think of a single television program, historically or currently, that airs on Tuesday evenings.
  • I often mistake Tuesdays for Wednesdays, and I get really angry when I realize I am wrong.
  • It is lame.

I know – my reasons are so reasonable. I’ve been trying to think of a two syllable word that begins with the letter T so I could revise the lyrics of The Bangles 80’s chart-topper Manic Monday, but I’ve got nothing. I bet this is why the song is called Manic Monday – they wanted to sing about how abominable Tuesdays are, but they couldn’t find an adjective that fit.

Torrid Tuesday…

Tacky Tuesday…

Trashy Tuesday…

Whatevs, that song is annoying anyway. I’m going to watch Bill Go Big Time.

Posted in Really? | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »


Posted by AllieB on August 16, 2010

In my very first entry, Be Advised, I mentioned that I do not prefer flying and included a frightening video that indicated why this was so.

Since that post all of three weeks ago, the following absurdities have taken place in the so-called “friendly skies:”

1. On July 21, United Flight 967 from Washington D.C. to L.A. went thru aggressive turbulence and was forced to divert to Denver, where 22 people were treated for injuries. (Source)

2. Today, August 16, an Aires flight bound for Colombia, South America was struck by lightning. Only one person died, which, given this is how the plane looked after the emergency landing, is unbelievable. (Source)

do NOT want

3. And, lastly, on my plane ride to Paris a week ago, I saw a woman die. She was old and it was her time, but it was really unpleasant. She had a seizure six hours into the flight, and the flight attendants and various passengers worked hard to revive her, but I think she died kind of as soon as it happened – she was laid out in the aisle about six inches from my seat and I saw EVERYTHING. We had to divert to Ireland where her body was carried off the plane in a some sort of makeshift sling…I know this was worse for her and her loved ones than it was for me, but that still didn’t make it okay. She was so close to my seat that flight attendants keep pushing at me to move – well, it’s an airplane and my options were limited, so I sat in my sister’s lap for an hour (the guy next to her had taken a sleeping pill meant for cattle and slept thru the whole thing – lucky).

WTF. I’m just glad to have made it home in one piece. Next time I fly, I plan to do so under the influence of that sleeping pill meant for cattle.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »


Posted by AllieB on August 16, 2010

This is huge.

I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Go Fug Yourself, and I stumbled upon this amazing, almost too-good-to-be-true tidbit of information:

Bret Easton Ellis, author of the totally insane and fantastic novels American Psycho and Rules of Attraction, is taking a stab at young adult fiction and revising the beloved and, until now, totally boring series Babysitter’s Club. I was hooked immediately, and I can’t wait for more.

The link.

And an excerpt:

“And yeah, it really bums me out to watch Claudia just snort up half those Pixie Stixs when she is so blatantly trying to get attention to her sugar problem, but every time we try to talk to her about it she says she needs it to focus on her art and that her super-strict Asian parents are coming down on her ass again so what’s the point, really?”

I am beside myself with excitement and anticipation.

...or IS it??

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »


Posted by AllieB on August 16, 2010

Family vacation –  in the words of Dickens (thanks, goog): “it was the best of times; it was the worst of times…”

Since I was old enough to realize how fortunate I was to grow up in a family like mine, I have appreciated how hard my parents have worked to take my two sisters and I on some pretty fantastic trips. They’ve instilled in all of us the curiosity and desire to explore the world beyond our city, state, and country, and I’ve been some awesome places and done some awesome things as a result.

However. Travel is stressful, particularly in foreign countries, particularly when the GPS goes defunct in the back roads of northern France, and particularly when everyone is positive they are correct in whether we should go straight thru the roundabout, or take the third turn.

In the grand scheme of things, the freakouts and harsh words are worth it for the unforgettable things we get to see…

Cerisay - my aunt and uncle's home in France, about two hours northeast of Paris.

We just returned from a nine day trip to France, and, while it was not without incident (a woman DIED on our plane trip over – she had a seizure in the aisle not one foot from my chair…it was not pleasant), we persevered with our twisted Baxter humor and had an incredible trip.

Merci beaucoup, Mom and Dad…

Baxter Five at Chateau d'O

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Next Page »