Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

It’s Friday at 2 p.m…

Posted by AllieB on August 6, 2010

…which means the only program open on my work computer is Google Chrome.

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy are amazing in their obscurity. They’re especially amazing on Friday afternoons at 2 p.m.

“Probably to a shark about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE’S GOING?”

“I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.”

“People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But they forget the negative side, which is the preening.”

Read more…

They kill me! Every time – every single time!

Dedicated to Sister Pantalones: because you love Deep Thoughts.

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Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose

Posted by AllieB on August 5, 2010

Friday Night Lights is one of my top three favorite television shows, but it can be tough work to watch it. The bleak setting, the seemingly insurmountable struggles that every character faces – seriously, there is nary a soul on that show who has a charmed life – it can get a little frustrating.

At times I honestly want to turn it off because I can’t handle the massive letdowns that the good, hardworking folk of Dillon, Texas have to deal with. The Taylor family is good people and they do NOT deserve this crap! But then, just when I’m like, “this is borderline masochistic to watch,” they will allow a victory, a silver lining so inspiring that I am enraptured all over again. It’s exhausting, truly – a real emotional roller coaster.

Were the cast not comprised of exactly who it is, the show would be unwatchable. I want Coach Taylor to come to my house and order me to get my priorities straight; I wish that Principal Tami Taylor had ruled my high school with the same stern compassion; and I would do just about anything to take a ride with Tim Riggins in that beat-up truck of his.

Sorry I’m not sorry I immerse myself in television – I have similarly strong feelings about Modern Family. Good tv is good tv.

Oh, hey Tim.

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Grocery Store Shame

Posted by AllieB on August 4, 2010

Here’s how it usually goes down*:

I arrive in lounge wear that may or may not be appropriate public attire and get a basket. I always choose a basket in lieu of a cart because obviously a basket will keep me from buying too much, or at least keep me from buying a large frozen pizza (they don’t fit). It doesn’t; I still do; and I just end up carrying things in my arms.

Anyway, my immediate go-to’s are Velveeta Shells ‘n Cheese and a two liter bottle of ginger ale. I then pick either a bag of Cape Cods or those awesome Terra veggie chips, or both. Next I visit the frozen foods section, where I pick out a pizza to carry around and a sweet – usually a pint of something Haagen Daaz makes (I’m on a dulce de leche kick right now).

If the line isn’t too long, I hunker down for a philly cheesesteak. I would do just about anything for a philly cheesesteak from Publix…anything except waiting in a line with more than three people in it.

It’s towards the end of my shopping, when my basket is overflowing and my hands are full, that I inevitably run into someone I know. Usually it’s in the manner of me chasing down an errant can of crescent rolls as it goes rolling beneath another shopper’s cart –  obviously, I know said shopper.

“Oh, hello Mrs. You’re In My Mom’s Bible Study! It’s great to see you!”

“This weather is ridiculous, Mrs. I Dogsit For You & Sleep At Your House When You’re Out of Town, but you still look so cute! Can’t wait to see Rover next week!”

Everyone laughs, and we go our separate ways, but I know they’ve judged me. It’s okay because I am judging me, too.

And that is why I don’t buy my wine at the grocery store.

*I would like to note that this applies to SUNDAYS only. I do not eat like this every day…just Sundays. Obviously.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink, Really? | Tagged: , , | 2 Comments »

Sic ’em

Posted by AllieB on August 4, 2010

There is nothing – nothing – like fall in Athens.

30 days

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Use Your Words, Vol II

Posted by AllieB on August 3, 2010

So, I was reading COSMO last night – which is embarrassing, but whatever – and I stumbled upon some brand new information in their What’s Hot/Not column.

It turns out that OMFG is a Not – I was always lukewarm about OMFG – and the new Hot equivalent is OMLG.

WTF is OMLG? I didn’t know, the friends with whom I was watching the borderline unbearable finale of The Bachelorette didn’t know…

My goog search results were unanimous:

Oh My Lady Gaga.

Turns out the kids in China started it back in the spring – there’s a FACEBOOK page for it!

  1. How am I so behind on this
  2. Not only was I behind, but my enlightenment arrived by way of COSMO magazine….shameful
  3. I think I kinda like it…

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