Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘Allie-No’

Next Entries »

He’ll do.

Posted by AllieB on November 22, 2010

I like celeb news to the point of obsession as much as the next person, but this Prince William and Kate Middleton engagement is quickly becoming a real interest of mine. There’s been talk of an intervention, but I think that’s way too premature – my fascination with all things Kate and wondering what her wedding dress is going to look like and trying to channel her in my everyday life is completely under control.

That said, I’ve decided that maybe I, too, should become engaged to a Prince. I found this blog about the most eligible bachelors in the world, and I’ve zeroed in on Prince Carl Phillip of Sweden. He loves racing cars and studied graphic design at RISD. And he’s hot. Helloooooo, Prince Carl! <shoulder dip, head toss>

source: Glo

Plus, not only have I read all three books in the Stieg Larsson trilogy, but I’ve also gotten really into the Swedish-made films, so Carl and I would totally have a ton to talk about…this is really coming together nicely…! Princess Alexandra. Loves it.

Ok, fine.

Dennis: As a matter of fact I’m starting to think think we need to intervene on you for your illiteracy.

Dee: Yeah, Charlie, you are getting real dumb.

Charlie: Come on, alright, this is what I’m talking about. Illiteracy. You know, what does that word even mean?

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

Mind Your P’s and Q’s

Posted by AllieB on November 17, 2010

I’ll be the first one to say it – my manners are not impeccable. No need to expound further, but my day to day behavior, particularly at the dinner table, leaves much to be desired. Obviously, when in a more formal setting I am perfectly capable of being the consummate dining companion, not unlike a princess, even (damn you Kate Middleton), it’s just not my default…

Anyway, regardless of my own flaws, I am easily irked by the inappropriate/unacceptable manners of others. Here are things I do not prefer:

  • Smacking. I know – pot, kettle, black – but I’ve gotten lots better and am now truly disgusted by those who do. As a babysitter, I feel it is important to correct the errant ways of children and did so just the other evening. Grace, a precocious seven-year-old girl, was smacking her food so loudly that I had to speak sternly to her about how unattractive it was and that she really ought to stop. She looked at me squarely in the eye and spoke sternly to me about saying “like, yeah” so much – “you don’t sound like you know what you’re talking about,” she said. I then suggested we call it a draw; she agreed, and we shook on it. Touché. Me and Dee Reynolds – shaping the minds of America’s Youth.
  • Slouching. Sit up straight – you’ll look five pounds thinner. If that’s not reason enough, then I can’t help you.
  • To the waiter who wants to bond with the table and goes so far as to scoot into the booth: please don’t. I’m all about building rapport, but if we wanted to sit with you at dinner we would have invited you to join us at dinner. I find it very unsettling to suddenly be touching thighs with a stranger as they take my order…it happened at Tavern 99, and the waiter in question was adorned in the never-not-classy Sexy Referee Uniform. Boundaries.
  • Slurping. Akin to smacking, this is a wholly unappetizing thing to do at the table. I’m starting to feel a bit like Seinfeld…
  • Eating wings in public (Pants, Billy, Dallas, BP – I’m talkin to you).

I think one of my New Year’s Resolutions will be to adjust my behavior to that of a princess every day, formal occasion or no. I bet menfolk will find that more appealing, not to mention the friends and family with whom I frequently enjoy meals.

Dear Mom,

This Thanksgiving I promise to do none of the above.

Your loving daughter,

(Princess) Alexandra

(Source: whatupwithtthat)

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Dunce

Posted by AllieB on October 28, 2010

I really don’t mind going places by myself – sometimes I actually prefer it – and usually I am quite adept at getting myself to the correct location at the designated time. Last night…not so much.

My plan was to attend this Young Professionals Mixer from 630 – 730 then head over to Supper Club. I arrived at Sweetwater at 6:35, and when I didn’t recognize any cars I didn’t think anything of it. Upon entering the venue, however, I began to notice that things seem to be amiss: noted lack of any political signage, and a highly atypical crowd (so heady) compared to the usual types that show up at anything “Young” and “Professional” – put it this way, there was absolutely no reason for me to think that I was at the right place. Nevertheless, I forged ahead and paid for a glass, ordered a Sch’wheat beer (which I’ve been meaning to try – very good, very unfortunate name), and posted up at the bar.

It was whilst BBM’ing with Harriette Lynn, who assured me they were nearby, then almost there, then officially there, that I realized my egregious error: wrong place. This was confirmed when I asked an employee where the Young Professionals Mixer was, and she looked at me like I had three heads.

Turns out I was enjoying a nice little Tasting Room event – me and 150 other people I’ve never seen before in my life. BTdubbs, this Limited Edition Dank Tank varietal is pretty good.

Wrong place, right time? Fail. Anyway, I left and drove alllll the way over to 5 Seasons Brewery on the Westside – which was actually much more convenient to Supper Club in Collier Hills – and enjoyed the company of good friends and lots of laughter directed towards moi (and a little directed towards Julia). “Sweetwater” and “5 Seasons” aren’t all that similar, not even a little bit.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – it always makes me think of you, Hilary…

“Turns out not where, but who you’re with that really matters…”

and the Dunce Hat goes to....meeeee!

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Eye on the prize

Posted by AllieB on September 16, 2010

Jennifer Anniston is in Atlanta at this very minute filming her new movie, Wanderlust, with co-starr Paul Rudd.

First of all, I think the movie sounds very intriguing. An excerpt from onlocationvacations says:

In the movie, Jen and Paul play an urban couple who  stop at a rural B&B which turns out to be a commune filled with nudists, pot smoking and orgies. The script has created some buzz of its own because, reportedly, Aniston’s character has sex with a woman in the movie.

Maybe this will break her Rom-Com curse…?

Secondly, and much more importantly, this means she and Paul Rudd are trolling the streets of Buckhead, with sightings reported at Chops, St Regis, Whole Foods…I’ve been to Whole Foods no fewer than four times this week for various reasons, and I’ve seen nada.

I wonder what I’d do if I saw them. Probably something really awkward…I once spent a very brief segment of an evening with Owen Wilson and his entourage (thanks to JTomm), and, as we were all being introduced, I felt the inexplicable need to reach across the table and help myself to a handful of his nachos. He didn’t speak to me after that.

Jennifer and Paul are my chance to redeem myself – I must find them! Anyone want to get an AWD at the St. Regis?

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Next Entries »