Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

  • Follow BBT

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Goodreads
    • Pinterest
    • Instagram
  • Subscribe to BBT!

  • Pinterest Pins

    More Pins

Buckhead Betty Meets Holly Hamptons

Posted by AllieB on October 17, 2013

What up!

I never got around to this last summer, so I’d like to take a minute and discuss a place of which I’ve grown quite fond. The Hamptons, to me at least, always seemed like a surreal, self-contained world of glamour and glitz and the sporadic sensational murder (credit: Revenge), and, while this wasn’t an entirely inaccurate perception, it’s not what I’m talking about – I hate glitz and murder is messy. It turns out, amid all that silliness, there are beautiful, pristine beaches and towny dive bars situated on the most picturesque real estate imaginable.

The off-season, obviously, is the ideal time to avoid the fracas, but you really just have to know where to go. This summer E Rock, Moo, Flembot, CammyCakes and I enjoyed a lovely meal and substantial servings of rose at Surf Lodge – there is a lot going on at Surf Lodge. I totally get why: the setting is perfect, the restaurant is beautiful, the people watching is entertaining…but when we maxed out on pink wine and folks in ridiculous sunglasses, we headed up the hill to Montauket, an old bed and breakfast. While I do not recommend staying or eating there, I implore you to go to this place for a Budweiser at sunset. Our tenure on this overlook was perhaps my favorite part of the entire weekend. The Hamptons, when you’re not sweating your face off in Talkhouse, or sitting in miles of bumper-to-bumper traffic, is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. For lack of better or more accurate phrase: it’s almost magical. ZERO Filters. None, nada.

montauket

boating

sunset

sunset over Montauket

shadowssss

Main Beach – East Hampton

photo 2

Montauk Point

Montauk lighthouse

Montauk lighthouse

Too mas? I exercised a great deal of discretion; I wanted to share way more than that. I’m telling you…it’s magical. And this isn’t totally out of left field – I spent last weekend out there. Gimme a house on Lily Pond Lane and a Jeep Wagoneer and I’ll never ask for anything ever again. Except maybe a new watch because I smashed the face on mine.

Now that I am 30 (say it loud, say it proud!), I am very conscientious about skin maintenance. Lotions, serums, facials – it’s an expensive venture, but I want preserve my fresh-faced youthfulness for as long as possible. I’ve got a few tricks in my arsenal, but I can assure you that were you to ask, “what is your skincare regimen?” at no point in the step-by-step procedure would I say, “and then I put a bra on my face.”

This is a face bra.

This is a face bra.

The Japan Shop invented it in a bid to combat smile lines and prevent premature ageing.

I am pretty skeptical about this facial bustier. Maybe wear a hat and buy some La Mer instead.

CitiBikes launched in NY last spring, and they’ve become crazy popular. With hundreds of docking stations around the city, it’s an incredibly easy and fun (?) way to get around while avoiding the stuffiness of the subway and the mania of the fraffic. Now that it’s finally about to get cold, I decided it was a good time to sign up for an annual membership. My timing is typical – I know this – but I’m so excited!! There are three stations within .03 miles of my front door. People will wonder: “Where’s Allie?” and someone will answer “Allie? She’ll be here soon, she’s riding her bike.” Honestly, I will use it all the time to zip between my ‘hood and the West Vill and over to the east side. I only have to use it 10 times to get my money’s worth – I can manage that over the next 365 days. I am not going to be a bike commuter: 1. it’s too far 2. helmet hair 3. red-faced Allie should never meet Corporate Allie. Jordan/Mom, I promise I’ll get a helmet.

bday Sister and I rode them in June. I was a total pansy at first, but I got the hang of it – just look at that breeziness. A&K – bring your biking gear!

On a serious note, thank you all so much for your kind words about the loss of our beloved Missy. A lot of people had their own favorite Missy memories, and it was very special to have some of you share. I know she’s up in doggy heaven, eating all the fancy cheese she wants and playing fetch in the heaven-equivalent of the Chattahoochee. I imagine it’s much cleaner where she is.

Happy 17th day of October. Do you have your Halloween costume yet?!? I’m looking at you, Casey Wa-wa.

princess wa wa

That’s a high quality picture. Man, I really miss my Blackberry.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Missy & Me

Posted by AllieB on October 8, 2013

It is with heavy heart (and swollen eyes) that I share with you some very sad news: Missy Baxter, our beloved black lab and BBT mascot, passed away on Sunday. She lived a full, 14-year life and was maybe the most loved dog there ever was. I’m sorry to tell you that it doesn’t matter how old they are or how much warning you have…it still really sucks when they go. Reasons for writing and sharing this tribute are twofold; I need a way of coping, and I want to celebrate the very happy life of a very happy dog.

Missy and I were kindreds. I lived at home for awhile in my mid-twenties, and she and I became very close. We spent untold hours on the couch watching tv – we endured the highs and lows of the folks of Dillon, TX (Missy was a particular fan of Coach Taylor and Tim Riggins, just like me), and she loved Friends as much as I did – if not more. She could be something of a diva, but when it was the two of us she totally adapted my schedule of not having a schedule: we stayed up til the wee hours and slept thru mid morning. We just got each other, ya know?

missy collage

Missy was an incorrigible food thief; she really had no shame. Do y’all remember the cheese heist? It was Pal, Hilbilly, Swedge, JTomm, my parents and me, sitting around our coffee table enjoying some wine and charcuterie, and in slinks Missy…she circled the table, literally salivating, honing in on one particular $18/lb goat cheese & brie combo that I had begged my mom to buy. We joked about Missy’s impressive food-snatching skills, it never occurring to us she might have the gall to do anything while we sitting right there, when CHOMP. The entire block of cheese disappeared before our eyes. The whole thing, down the hatch in one gulp.

Missy participated in some alternative therapeutic methods in the last few months - this was when she got laser treatment for her joints. She also participated in acupuncture and water aerobics.

When she was older, Missy got laser treatment for her joints. She also participated in acupuncture and water aerobics.

I believe Missy had opposable thumbs that she employed only in our absence. I once interrupted her enjoying a large, Costco-sized container of almonds. Said container had not yet been opened – of this I would swear on my life – but she somehow managed to turn the lid and break thru the aluminum seal. On this occasion she proudly showed off what she’d done: “Bet you’re wondering how I managed this, aren’t ya?!” with a saucy wag of tail and toss of head. I’m still wondering.

she got the paper every morning for most of her life, starting when she was a teeny tiny puppy and the paper was bigger than she was

Her only defeat was the 5lb wheel of Stilton blue cheese relatives send us every year from Willams Sonoma. I stupidly left it out, and Missy helped herself. I came home to a very queasy pup and 3/4 of a ravaged, smelly cheese wheel. She looked at me, not guiltily but almost accusingly: “Why did you leave this out when you KNEW I would get into it…I hate you, I hate that cheese, and now I’m gonna puke <puke>.” One has to admit: Missy had quite the sophisticated palate.

party pooped

Perhaps the most bizarre instance of poaching took place on Christmas Eve several years ago. My sisters, mom, and dad We do a lot of cooking for Christmas and had left out a few projects in medias res when we went to church. Obviously knowing Missy’s penchant for counter-top pillaging, we put all food/implements out of her reach…so we thought. We came home to three large knives that had each been part of dish preparation – one butcher, two serrated – licked clean on the living room floor. Missy was abnormally slow to greet us, and, given this possible crime scene, we called for her in earnest, looking for trails of blood or worse…..we found her in my sister’s bathroom happily eating her way through the trashcan, oblivious to the fact that she nearly starred in her very own slasher film.

Missy listening attentively as I explain the meaning of Christmas

Missy listening attentively as I explain the meaning of Christmas

I miss her so much, and my heart breaks thinking that she won’t be there when I next go home. I know she is in doggy heaven having the best time doing her favorite things: playing ball; swimming; eating leftovers, brownies, and snot-filled tissues; flirting shamelessly with anything male that moves and riding around shotgun with all the windows down. We’ll be telling her stories for decades to come and there will always be a Missy-shaped placed in our hearts. We love you forever, Missy Misdemeanor!

the happiest dog

the happiest dog

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 7 Comments »

Anything you can do, I can do almost or equally as well

Posted by AllieB on October 3, 2013

I’ve mastered the subways; I emerge from underground and know instinctively which way is N/S/E/W; you should see me weave thru the herds of cattle throngs of people on the sidewalk; I stuck out my tongue at a cab driver last week when he violated my right of way – let’s face it, y’all, I’m a New Yawker.

alexandra

a saavy city girl from the very beginning. that’s right – GIRL

While I think we can all agree these are noteworthy accomplishments, I’ve still yet to conquer my Everest: mastering the art/science/I think it might be magic of making dinner reservations. I spent a good chunk of time this week trying to find two restaurants that will impress my high-brow foodie friends, A and K, when they come to visit, and I’m getting the proverbial talk-to-the-hand at every place I’ve tried. I mean, this is like a month in advance! Evidently no one A) knows who I am or B) is aware that I manage a very dated and irrelevant restaurant guide to Atlanta. K&A, how do you feel about dining at 5:30? Actually, wait: who needs restaurants – we’re all talented chefs, why don’t we just cook our own meals!?! And let’s be sure not to have any wine at all.

what would happen if we did either of those things

what would happen if we did either of those things

Obviously, none of us would ever find ourselves in this sort of situation, and I want to be very clear that I am NOT condoning such behavior, but when I saw this I thought I’d better share: The Rules for Calling in Sick When You’re Actually Hungover. Upon completion I found myself wanting to seek out Captain Obvious so I could thank him for sharing such brand new information, but who am I to judge – let’s see what I’ve got:

1. Mind over matter. I am a strong believer in this: stop wallowing and get over it. I am lucky not to get the voms when I am overserved, so I’m sure this is easier said than done…but most of the time I feel like people are just being big babies.

2. Water: it’s not a myth. Water before, during, and after your ill-advised outing will help tremendously. And cold Vitamin Water Zero in the morning is like nectar of the gods.

3. A lot of people say exercise. Me, not so much

4. Oh. I was supposed write a list about how to call in sick when you’re hungover. I don’t really have any tips on that for I hath ne’er done such a thing.

5. Cpt Obvs: 1, BBT: 0

But seriously: drink water.

Ok, this is weird, right? Mediocre-hurdler-turned-bobsledding-hopeful, Lolo Jones, is trying to gain 60 lbs to make “bobsled weight.” Her daily diet includes two 1,365 protein shakes and FOUR double bacon cheeseburgers from McDonald’s. This approach seems flawed. She is literally going to turn into a double bacon cheeseburger…literally. Ehhh, Lolo makes me uncomf – she seems like she’s kind of nuts, if not a little bit delusional:

“My abs are still there,” she said. “I’m still cut, just super solid.”

Yeah, a super solid double bacon cheeseburger…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, G FORCE!!!!! Remember that time we went to Pakistan? Such adventures we’ve had…I love you!!

incognito in Lahore

incognito in Lahore. also, barefoot. ew

TGIT! Feels good to be back on sched…truthfully, I’ve had a whole week of Thursdays, but I’m glad everyone else is now on my same page.

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

50 Shades of Do Not Want

Posted by AllieB on September 25, 2013

Hey guys! On the Effort Scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is standing up and 10 is walking to the kitchen, today’s post is about a 1.25.

50 Shades of Do Not Want: I’ve been over 50 Shades of Grey for awhile now, and, even though I obviously made my way thru all three books, I definitely judge anyone who is still reading them…similarly, I am an equal opportunity indulger of  any and all (red) wine, but even I turn my nose at this: 50 Shades of Grey Wine. There are two varietals: White Silk and Red Satin. That’s disgusting. Also, it’s going for $18/bottle! You could buy two non-embarrassing bottles of malbec for that; this just goes from bad to worse. BBT says: absolutely not.

IT Allie asks: have you downloaded the new iOS 7? Do it. Do it now. It’s like getting a whole new phone! And, given that I’ve actually downgraded to a plain old 4 from a 4S instead of upgrading (April 2k14..!), this is especially exciting for moi. I’ve had zero kinks – just back your shiz up. iTunes Radio is a great addition, and the camera has improved. Everyone also loves the Control Center; the pros abound. Me, I mostly just think it’s really pretty…

ios screen shot

background

I feel v exposed, like I just showed you my bank acct balance or undergarment drawer

-I’ve heard a few things about the fingerprint scanner on the new 5S: cats can do it, hackers figured out to hack it, and…this: You Can Also Unlock the iPhone 5 S with Your  Junk. Y’all, that’s gross.

-Closing out apps is not entirely intuitive – here’s how.

-Have you recently lost your 3rd Kindle? Just me? Well, fear not, because Amazon has released yet another Kindle, the Kindle Fire HDX, complete with a “mayday” button that links to live support 24/7/365, promising a 15 second or less response time. Dang. (Credit: Charlotte!)

Watching: My roommates love The Voice, so it looks like I love The Voice, too. I’m just not sure I’m emotionally equipped to handle it. They draw you in with heart-wrenching backstories of these people want nothing more than to share the gift of music, then they go out on stage, sing their hearts out, and….none of the judges pick them. Although, I do respect the judges for refraining from the pity pick – I’d have a team of losers halfway thru the first audition. I’m such a softie. Modern Family starts back tonight, SNL on Saturday, and T minus 103 hours, give or take, til Homeland Season 3 returns. (It took me almost as long to calculate that number just now)

SHE WOULD: Blake Lively is starting her own GOOPy-sounding company. Boobs Legsly, a moniker that isn’t even legit anymore since she’s morphed into this married class act, is even easier to hate than Gwyneth. Obviously I will read every issue, scoffing at the recipes but diligently saving all of them. It annoys me when people talk about “curating” a lifestyle. I can barely curate my salad from Chop’t*.

GFY, seriously

GFY, seriously

*I actually have a bombass salad order: Spinach, Kale, Fresh Jalapeños, Cucumber, Tomato, Pepper Jack Cheese, FreeBird Ancho Chile Chicken, Tri-Color Quinoa, Low-Fat Spa Greek Yogurt Tzatziki Dressing. I made it up all by myself. FACE.

Fall is here! I really am going to pump the brakes on talking about weather. Elmore Leonard, the renowned novelist who passed away recently, had a list of of 10 Rules for Good Writing:

  1.  Never open a book with weather.

I took a quick look at past BBT posts, and, if you replace “book” with “blog” I’m not doing so hot – same with the other nine. Whatever, I’m a slow learner. Like I was saying: fall is here! I want to swaddle myself in 1,000 sweaters (I like these: Dear Santa/if I budget better); fill my apartment with the aroma of spiced cider (the spiked cider looks good, pretty sure if I had a cabernet candle in my apt I’d have to have a bottle of cabernet open…oh wait); and jump in piles of leaves (don’t need sound and really only need to watch like first ten secs).

 

Happy Wednesday to all of you, and HAPPY FRIDAY to meeee! I’m headed south for a sure-to-be perfect wedding – can wait to see ya, EmilyB (cc: W Port)!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Thoughts: Shallow & Deep

Posted by AllieB on September 12, 2013

I had an idea once that I might go to all of the classes Equinox offers then write about them, and, while that is a really good idea, it also requires me to go to all of the classes Equinox offers…so, sadly, this brainchild was over before it began. However, I do make it to the occasional group fitness gathering – last night was Asset Management. Not a seminar on finance, mind you, but an hour long workout focusing on your…assets. It was a good class, the teacher is Australian and Australians are funny, and there weren’t any ridiculous props like that VIPR class, (remember the giant tube I had to sling around?!? I wish I could forget) but there was a girl – a really not cute one – who had zero concept of personal space. This class was packed to the gills, and here’s Susie McLargeAndInCharge, barging into my very small area during each segment.

please stop

if this were my gym class, I’d be the woman wondering how/why/HOW I am in contact with the frontal protrusion of the man sitting in the row behind me  (how not shocking these are Tennessee fans)

I just get really mad when people don’t pay attention to their surroundings. It’s less the personal space invasion – I always invade Sister’s personal space every time I see her – and more the complete disregard for others. Susie Sausage was not picking up on my pointed looks and noises of frustration, so I finally stopped and stood still during a side-to-side exercise, and, whaddya know, she ran smack into me (it was all I could do to stay on my feet). She stopped short and looked at me first in surprise, then in anger, and I served it back tenfold; I glowered at her. Then and only then did she look around and realize just how out of bounds she was – I’m pretending like I heard her mutter “sorry” and not that word that rhymes with witch as she retreated to her area. You better believe she kept her distance for the duration of class. Once again, David hath defeated Goliath.

It’s a good thing I can switch up which location I go to, probably need to steer clear of that one for awhile…

And now for the news:

-FIRST and most importantly: 38 Essential Pizzas Across the United States. Readers from my most densely populated areas are decently covered, but it gets a little spotty around Missouri. Sucks for you, Mizzou.

-Fashion Week is still going on up here…me – I’m done. I’ve  had to totally re-tool my Instagram account, I’ve really had enough. I did see one disconcerting article that mentioned how Birkenstocks are back?Unfortunately, BBT has close contact with a bona fide Birkenstock Expert, so let’s check in with her – Hilary, thoughts?

A related-yet-not-a-sequel-or-prequel to Harry Potter is in the works! And it’s legit – JK Rowling’s involved and everything. I love Harry Potter, and I – we – could all use more Hogwarts in our lives.

-watch the roasting of James Franco (it’s on YouTube, find it yourself). And if you can’t watch it all, at least watch Bill Hader – Bill Hader is #1

-I got 100+ likes on my last Instagram post (see below). I’m not gloating; it was a very special picture…which brings me to today’s Special Segment. I’m all for light ‘n breezy, but sometimes I like to get a little real.

light tribute and tower

For various reasons, the anniversary of 9/11 was more significant for me this year than any year previous. Obviously I feel an ever-increasing level of solidarity with the city, but I think a lot of it is just plain geography: living down in TriBeCa, where the new One World Trade Center tower is such a pervasively physical presence, I can easily visualize what used to be there even though I never really knew the view myself. I can imagine how the planes came in, and I know now where people sprinted up the street – my street, where I live – away from the buildings in sheer terror, knowing that something was terribly, irreversibly wrong but without any clue as to what had actually happened. Then I can hear the deafening silence as the dust settled and revealed the gaping hole where the towers once stood….although it’s still completely unfathomable, I guess I just have a better sense of it all, and I’m really grateful for that. I read upwards of 100 articles yesterday and watched countless videos, and, while devastating, the overriding sense of hope – even mere days after the attack – is just…it’s inspiring all over again. Jon Stewart, on his show’s first airing post-attack on 9/20/01, gave a very touching, candid monologue. See below (video/transcript):

I just wanted to tell you why I grieve–but why I don’t despair.

Any fool can blow something up. Any fool can destroy. But to see these guys, these firefighters and these policemen and people from all over the country, literally with buckets, rebuilding. . .that’s extraordinary. And that’s why we have already won. It’s democracy. They can’t shut that down. They live in chaos. And chaos, it can’t sustain itself–it never could. It’s too easy and it’s too unsatisfying.

The view from my apartment was the World Trade Center. . .now it’s gone. They attacked it. This symbol of American ingenuity and strength and labor and imagination and commerce and it’s gone. But you know what the view is now? The Statue of Liberty. . . the view from the south of Manhattan is the Statue of Liberty.

You can’t beat that.

Thank you for letting me share.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

Next Page »