Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for the ‘Arbitrary’ Category

Dunce

Posted by AllieB on October 28, 2010

I really don’t mind going places by myself – sometimes I actually prefer it – and usually I am quite adept at getting myself to the correct location at the designated time. Last night…not so much.

My plan was to attend this Young Professionals Mixer from 630 – 730 then head over to Supper Club. I arrived at Sweetwater at 6:35, and when I didn’t recognize any cars I didn’t think anything of it. Upon entering the venue, however, I began to notice that things seem to be amiss: noted lack of any political signage, and a highly atypical crowd (so heady) compared to the usual types that show up at anything “Young” and “Professional” – put it this way, there was absolutely no reason for me to think that I was at the right place. Nevertheless, I forged ahead and paid for a glass, ordered a Sch’wheat beer (which I’ve been meaning to try – very good, very unfortunate name), and posted up at the bar.

It was whilst BBM’ing with Harriette Lynn, who assured me they were nearby, then almost there, then officially there, that I realized my egregious error: wrong place. This was confirmed when I asked an employee where the Young Professionals Mixer was, and she looked at me like I had three heads.

Turns out I was enjoying a nice little Tasting Room event – me and 150 other people I’ve never seen before in my life. BTdubbs, this Limited Edition Dank Tank varietal is pretty good.

Wrong place, right time? Fail. Anyway, I left and drove alllll the way over to 5 Seasons Brewery on the Westside – which was actually much more convenient to Supper Club in Collier Hills – and enjoyed the company of good friends and lots of laughter directed towards moi (and a little directed towards Julia). “Sweetwater” and “5 Seasons” aren’t all that similar, not even a little bit.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – it always makes me think of you, Hilary…

“Turns out not where, but who you’re with that really matters…”

and the Dunce Hat goes to....meeeee!

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

Things I always have on my person that other people constantly borrow

Posted by AllieB on October 27, 2010

First and foremost: if you use Vaseline, you need to go purchase this updated pop-top cannister right now – I got mine at Target in the travel-sized toiletries aisle.

These next two items are for your peepers. Together, they can eliminate any signs of tears, over consumption of booze, allergies, etc., and I’m not exaggerating even a little bit.

I should note that the Rohto eye drops could be too potent for those who wear contacts  –  basically, they’re like a menthol cough drop for your eyeball. They leave your eyes with this fresh brightness Visine doesn’t even come close to. That eye roller thing by Garnier just feels really, really good…if you’re using them as a duo, do the roller first.

I should also note that I learned about the Rohto drops from an InStyle article from a few years ago where make-up artists to the stars were asked to share their “secret weapon product.” Lindsay Lohan’s make-up artist replied, “Rohto eye drops. They can make any party girl look like she’s slept for 8 hours.” Sold.

OMG! Maybe Rohto is looking for a spokesperson…and with LiLo stuck in court mandated rehab, I am clearly the obvious choice! Fo reezi – my level of kiddingness is neg.

Lastly, this gum is very tasty – I actually now chew it exclusively and buy it in bulk from Amazon because Publix is the only place that sells it: Trident Cool Colada. I don’t like colada-anything, yet this gum is the perfect mix of fruitiness and minty freshness. Buy a pack today!

JILL: Would you like some gum?

CHANDLER: Um, is it sugarless?

JILL: Sorry, it’s not.

CHANDLER: Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.

CHANDLER: You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection.

-The One With the Blackout

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

stride, stride, stride…EXECUTE

Posted by AllieB on October 27, 2010

This commercial cracks me up. Sidebar: I’m thisclose to caving and springing for DVR – I’m sick of missing my programs. I can only talk on the phone during commercials; I have to time my workouts and showers precisely, as well as any food preparation…plus, Leila Ann talks a LOT and even when we watch episodes 2-3 times, I still miss at least half of what went on – I must have access to these things in the comfort of my own home. I’m pretty sure I can justify the $15/month…yup, I’m calling Comcast right now.

Anyway, I love the expression on this little guy’s face – it’s no eTrade, but it’s still pretty good. You don’t need sound, but it will  certainly enhance your experience as it is a Janis Joplin classic…

Happy Hump Day!

Wednesdays, after Fridays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and the occasional Sunday, are my favorite day of the week. Not only is there excellent television (Modern Family has effectively stymied any kind of sophomore slump), but people start to emerge from their cave dwelling and are willing – eager? – to participate in organized activities, such as….SUPPER CLUB! I’m so proud of us for finally setting dates and sticking to them. I have no idea what is on the menu, but I’m very much looking forward to it. Me, I will be bringing Two Buck Chuck as Wells Fargo has totally screwed me over in this stupid transition from Wachovia (sorry, K – I’m not happy), and I am horribly poor until they get their act together.

Mitchell: She wants us to buy Lily a Blackberry.
Cam: She doesn’t have the dexterity for that! What’s happening!?

My horoscope has just informed me that today is a ME day and, because I have been working very hard all week, I deserve a reward this evening. Who am I to dispute this wisdom. I really do love Wednesdays.

Oh, Hilary. You are soooo hilarious. Ha. Ha. I much prefer Pal’s handiwork to your own.

oh look - it's Baxter and I'm barking twice

Note: I don’t actually have that many chins.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

I concur.

Posted by AllieB on October 22, 2010

Liz Lemon drops incredible truth bombs on a weekly basis.

As I mentioned recently, I love the elle.com horoscopes. The weekend forecast for Gemini is pretty lousy – something about hanging out with people who might not necessarily be “the cool kids” (total nonsense  – I don’t know anyone who’s not cool), but K’s was amazing and completely un-Cancer-esque, so I will share it. I think we all, regardless of astrological sign, should embrace this sage advice:

It’s time to bust out the sequins and sky-high Louboutins, and party like a rockstar once again….Raise the hemline on your costume, and drop the neckline…this is your socially-sanctioned opportunity to let your inner Snooki soar.

That’s right. Let your inner Snooki soar. I’ve got the other stuff  down pat – in fact, I recently acquired a very mini skirt (tights required) and sequined top that fit nicely within these parameters. I’m only missing the Louboutins…sigh. If I could have but one pair of shoes for the rest of my life, it would be these. TINA – still waiting on that million dollar idea.

Oh – and The Partner’s Card starts today!

Happy Weekend! XOXO – Allie Bark Twice Baxter

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , | 3 Comments »

Nostalgia: France

Posted by AllieB on October 20, 2010

For no other reason than that I haven’t had a new Facebook album since June, I decided to post random pictures from the Baxter Family trip to France back in August. Staying at my aunt and uncle’s home was beyond incredible, and we really did have such a good time – I am ready for a return trip!

Chateau Cerisay - clockwise from top right: front door, moat, chapel, grounds, main house. TAKE ME BACK!

Anecdote: my aunt and uncle have become friendly with the neighbors, and they were kind enough to invite us over for a cook-out. The host of the party, we’ll call him Jacques, was charming, flamboyant and an amazing cook.

I have always been of a proponent of really indulging oneself on vacation – no limits, really take advantage of the culture, cuisine, etc. This means to say: I helped myself to the food and wine. At one point he saw me taking a second chicken kabob, and he inquired, “Oh, is that for your little sister?” Embarrassed, I assured him that yes, it was (not). Shortly thereafter he came over to where Jordan and I were sitting, and the following conversation ensued:

Jacques: “Deed your seester geeve you her kabob?”

Jordan: “No.”

Jacques (to me): “Non! You ate that?! A second kabob?!”

Me (humiliated with a side of rosacea): “Um, yes…you know what they say about vacation – lots of wine and lots of food!”

Jacques: “Mais oui, to have lots of wine – that is very Franche, but to have two kabobs…that is SO not Franche.”

Oh the shame. I tried to joke with him later about the incident, saying I should probably run wind sprints home to work off the second kabob, and he responded in a decidedly non-joking manner, “But of course!! That eees a good idea!!”

Note to self re: future travels – do as the locals do, not as obese Americans do…

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »