Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Archive for the ‘Arbitrary’ Category

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smorgasbord

Posted by AllieB on October 18, 2010

I find Russell Brand to be completely hilarious. It’s his delivery, his off-the-wall sentiments expressed in a matter-of-fact manner, to the point where, as the listener/reader, you’re prepared to find the utter nonsense streaming from his mouth completely legitimate and normal.

Case in point (excerpts from Vulture):

  • Per an audience member’s question, he doesn’t have plans to collaborate with Tim Burton, but he’d like to. “We’d get on. We could talk about hair and Gothic fairy tales, England, whimsy, and tortured adolescence.”
  • When he met the Queen of England, he was somehow with James Blunt, “whose voice is indiscernible in my mind from a clown’s horn” and who was once also a member of the Royal Guard. “That’s not fair! They’ve got all sorts of things to talk about. Like, ‘Oh, do you remember when you used to guard me? Thanks.’ What am I going to say? ‘Oh, I’m Shagger of the Year.’ She’s smiling rather generously, but part of me knows that that is just the remaining smile from James Blunt and it’s about to crumble into a deep frown.”

Maybe it’s just me…I don’t know, I think he’s hysterical.  I also think this video of Alphonso Smith of the Detroit Lions doing the Carlton Dance is funny. It’s hardly brand new information, but it’s Monday morning, so I don’t much care if I’m on the cutting edge or not.

Last and most certainly least, Ken Paves and Jessica Simpson are splitsville. Perhaps it’s been this relationship that’s perpetuated her fugliness, and now she’s on to bigger (no pun intended) and better…! I’m definitely interested to hear her new holiday album – I like pop stars’s holiday albums the best. Read: Mariah Carey.

Oh wait, one more thing: that is ENOUGH, Taylor Momsen. I wonder if one day, many years from now, she’ll be considering a family of her own and then remember, “goshdarnit, I hope those pictures of me dressing like a gothic prostitute with a penchant for violence aren’t still floating around…”

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Today is Wednesday

Posted by AllieB on October 13, 2010

This week has been dragging. I’m busy, yet I’m not busy. I was social on Monday for the Braves game (thanks, Bobby!), and that always throws me off re: what day I feel like it should be. Even my horoscope has me nailed. It reads:

Are you guilty of clock watching AND calendar watching? Those midweek blahs are just a state of mind. Give yourself permission to break from routine and do something “weekend-y” this evening.

Yes, yes, and I would be glad to do something weekend-y tonight. The horoscopes on elle.com are uncannily on-point a majority of the time. MC and I have been reading them for years, and we often marvel at their knowledge. After Gmail, Facebook, and Wachovia, it’s the next tab I open every morning.

To add insult to injury, the weather is beyond spectacular and all I want to do is drive around and listen to tunes. Leila, is my cd ready yet?

Lastly, my mom and I went to Cocktails & Canvas last night, and it turns out that I’m something of an artiste. We had a really good time, although you should know that they do not provide glasses OR wine openers, so bring your own. The young lady sitting across from me was prepared for the lack of wine drinking accoutrements and had eschewed the whole idea by instead bringing a cooler of watermelon-flavored Smirnoff Ice. To each their own, I suppose.

Art by Allie

Egregious oversight: I mentioned I went with my mom, but I neglected to share her art. Perhaps it was envy that provokedd this delinquency…hers is much better than mine! I seriously want to go back – keep an eye out for the next Groupon, Gaylen…

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

The FOMO Affliction

Posted by AllieB on October 11, 2010

Once upon a time, nearly eons ago, I suffered from a very serious condition known as FOMO, or “fear of missing out.” I was crippled by the prospect of missing out on anything fun or noteworthy…or really anything at all.

I can see now how immature my fomophobia was. Also, there’s actually no such thing as fomophobia, so I was suffering from a plight that didn’t exist…when I realized that, I felt kind of ridiculous and knew it was time to make a change. Now that I am older, infinitely wiser, and possess all kinds of knowledge about many different things, I have the wherewithal to pump the brakes on my FOMO. Or at least kind of – I’ve certainly gotten a whole lot better.

In unrelated news, I had a really great weekend that included several of my favorite things:

  • The Whigs @ The 40 Watt
  • Last Resort
  • a W for Georgia
  • my first romper
  • Hilbilly Bel (decidedly NOT a favorite but any sighting of Hilary warrants mention)
  • mashing with Sister (she started it!)
  • the new XXL Chalupa from Taco Bell

I absolutely made the right call in going to Athens. Maybe I’m not really over my FOMO – perhaps it’s just that I always make the decision that is best for me, thus have no regrets…

That’s definitely it.

GO BRAVOS!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

Wishlist: Things I need

Posted by AllieB on October 7, 2010

Fall has arrived, and everyone is talking about various things they need. Sister needs velvet shorts. Allison needs a one-shoulder Alexander Wang dress that barely makes sense (but I adore it, too). Hilary needed fringe boots  (I need those as well, but in black). And I also think I might need a pair of sequined shorts.

So far, my one big purchase for the fall has been my new J Brand Lovestory jeans – and I know, they’ve been around forever, duh Allie, but these are awesomer than the average pair because they are a lightweight material thus more comfortable, and, IMO, more flattering. Seriously, go try some on – your caboose will have never looked better.

In addition to these obvious life necessities, I am in need of some other items as well:

  1. A waterproof cover for my smart phone device. I got a brand new cell piece back in August, and after only two days in my possession my omnipresent water bottle leaked in my purse during a work breakfast at J. Christopher’s (overrated), and the phone was saturated. Devastated, I hastily disassembled it and google’d how to best handle the situation. I submerged the phone in rice for two days, and voilà! It turned on and worked fine. But then the exact same thing happened last Friday while I enjoyed an innocent happy hour at Bluepoint with my parents. (I highly recommend the Friday happy hours at Bluepointe – they have a wide selection of liquor drinks and wines for $5 and then a substantial menu of small plates for $7 and under.) Needless to say, I wasn’t so lucky the second time, and I’ve been phoneless for six days. I barely know any of my friends anymore. I’ve resorted to landlines and smoke signals – it sucks.
  2. A yacht like the one my nearest and dearest, Amy, cruised the Adriatic in. 

Rachel: Pam! Oh God okay, just imagine this, “The Pam.”

Mr. Bowmont: I don’t think she’d like that.

Rachel: Okay, uh-uh imagine this, “The Mr. Bowmont.”

Mr. Bowmont: I don’t think so dear.

Rachel: Okay look, let me paint you a little picture. All right, you are settin’ sail up the Hudson! You’ve got the wind in your h – aaaarms…

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

O is for OH WOW

Posted by AllieB on October 1, 2010

It’s been a busy week, and I haven’t brought much to the table in terms of internet interaction. I miss emailing and Facebook. Surprisingly, I did not miss gchat. Maybe I’m over gchat? Probably not. Anyway – I haven’t really been following the news, and the stories I have caught wind of I feel are already exhausted in terms of discussion, etc.

However, this Duke “sex thesis” warrants mention. I find it ridiculous (a PowerPoint??) as well as deplorable. Per the Jezebel article (which I will not link to directly because the title is extremely inappropriate):

Upon graduating, the author decided to pass on the wisdom she had learned, in thesis format. The subject: “An education beyond the classroom: excelling in the realm of horizontal academics.”

Her poor parents. They were probably so proud that their daughter got into Duke (Puke), and then she goes and does this. What a treat! Imagine their Christmas card letter: “…and our slore of a daughter made a PowerPoint about her sex life that the entire world has been able to read. We feel really good about the $180,000 we spent on her tuition.”

I do think this regrettable situation can teach us all a lesson or two: 1. try to refrain from making detailed PowerPoints about your sexual relations, and 2. anything you write and then share via the web is free game – even if it’s just an email to three friends. FYI. Note to self. Words of wisdom.

**UPDATE: if you’re so inclined, this is a link to the clear non-blurry version – names, faces, etc…..wowza. Barstool Sports

Moving along – it is Friday, hoorah, and Friday is a great day for video montages. This is incredible. Even if you haven’t seen every single episode of Friends five or more times like, say, me or Sister or Hilary or Pal or Kara or Leila, you can’t not enjoy Ross.

Ross: Oh, major shampoo explosion!

Rachel: Uh, look Ross, this really isn’t easy.

Ross: Oh, it’s all over everything. Why? Why me?

Rachel: Because you took three hundred bottles of shampoo?

Ross: Oh, not another one! Oh my G… And this is moisturizer. It’s even harder to clean! Why? Why do bad things happen to good people?

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , | 3 Comments »

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