Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘Boobs Legsly’

Something’s different…is that a new hairdo?

Posted by AllieB on April 6, 2011

Is it just me, or is this The Week that Time Stood Still. I would’ve bet the farm when I woke up this morning that it was Thursday. Newsflash: it’s Wednesday, known to some as Hump Day, known to me as The Day I Always Think Is Thursday.

Hilary finally made herself useful and sent me a link to celebrity yearbook pictures. I find Ryan Seacrest’s transformation inspiring: no matter how dire the situation is, there’s still hope… holy wow. He looked pretty saucy though, back in the day, like he just snapped his fingers and said, “oh no you di’ent….!”

Ryan Seacrest definitely went to his Ten Year High School Reunion

I find Boobs Legsly‘s transformation slightly less inspiring – anyone can get a new nose. Well, and new boobs, but the jury’s still out on that one. Not this jury, mind you – I am as positive they are fake as I was positive today is Thursday, but she has not confirmed any surgeries. ATTN Boobs: no need to confirm – I have eyes that can see.

mega schnoz -> normal schnoz

Disclaimer: I’m not hating on plastic surgery, and I think it goes without saying that any animosity I might have towards Blake is firmly rooted in complete and total jealousy.

If you have a pulse, you will like this video. It’s a mandatory must-see, no sound necessary. I die.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »

Here’s what’s happening in your world tonight

Posted by AllieB on January 20, 2011

Good afternoon. This weather sucks.

BUT! Treehouse has deigned to join the rest of the free world in the Groupon et al craze, and for only $8 you can get $20 worth of food and/or booze without any restrictions! Click here for the deal; it’s only available until midnight.

Thanks for throwing us a bone, Treehouse. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve stopped going in protest against their refusal to offer happy hour specials or Recession-friendly deals, but really – it’s about time. Maybe I should buy a few more…

I’ve grown tired of picking on Boobs Legsly, and Jessica Simpson seems to finally be heeding my advice by going out in public less, so I’ve been forced to find a new target for my celebrity ridicule. Taylor Swift…COME ON DOWN! Newsflash: your relationship with Jake Gyllenhaal was total baloney. Write your little ditty about picking apples in New York and sharing pumpkin spice lattes or whatever you need to do to mourn the loss of your fake – not to mention gay – boyfriend, get your platinum records and Grammy’s and make your millions, but for the LOVE OF GOD leave US Weekly out of it.

What the crap – how are you so boring. Just looking at you makes me want to take a nap. The only thing that could make you more boring would be doing something like not serving alcohol at your 21st birthday and having platters of cookies instead. Oh, wait…..

Girl Talk is tomorrow at the Tabernacle! If you don’t have tickets you’re probably S.O.L. unless you want to fork over $100…fortunately, I do not fall into that category, thanks to Leila, and have been accumulating glow sticks for weeks. I’ve also been preparing for my transition to Dance-Floor Allie by way of nightly stretching and some solo head banging – it’s like I’m the White Swan morphing into the Black…..except not because that would freak everyone out. DANCE PARTY!!!

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , , , , | 8 Comments »

Kindly cool it with the canoodling

Posted by AllieB on December 13, 2010

JustJared reports that, last Thursday,  Boobs Legsly and Ryan Gosling were seen canoodling at the Standard Hotel in NYC after his premiere of his new film, Blue Valentine (per Fleming’s somewhat adamant request, I finally watched the trailer – I encourage you all to do so…this looks like a good flick). Not only did she sneakily enter the screening of the film through a back entrance to keep a “low profile” (you’re not that famous, Boobs), but they also ate dinner at the Standard Grill after the party where they enjoyed a nice meal of…oysters.

I am very irritated with this development. Here is why:

  1. age difference (she’s 23, he’s 30)
  2. in The Notebook he loves a girl named Allie…that is my name
  3. I really like him; I cannot stand her

This is even more bothersome than the Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhall coupling, largely because Taylor Swift is so meh, IMO, although I do enjoy her music, and Boobs is just sooo annoying. What is WRONG WITH YOUR MOUTH.

Oh, whatever.

If you’re still in need of Christmas gifts and are looking to air on the side of obscure – here are some great ideas. I’m a little obsessed with these NYC vs. Paris prints – there’s a whole series of them. And surely there is someone on your list for whom a silver retainer necklace would be perfect.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , | 5 Comments »


Posted by AllieB on November 16, 2010

Boobs Legsly got the cover!? How infuriating. I suppose she’s earned it, though – if by “best dressed” they mean “breast dressed.”


Posted in Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 2 Comments »


Posted by AllieB on September 1, 2010

I’m not saying this is a road I’d ever want to travel down, but Boobs Legsly’s plastic surgeon is a true artiste.

This looks a little pervy, but whatevs – gotta give credit where credit’s due.

Posted in Celebs, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 4 Comments »