Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘SassySissy’

30 for 30

Posted by AllieB on June 20, 2013

Today was one of those days where I woke up before my alarm went off, hummed as I put on make-up, and sorta skipped to the subway – it’s perfect weather (you know how deeply affected I am by climate), it’s THURSDAY, and so many visitors are coming up this weekend!! I think that even if a homeless person spit on me I would say, “awesome!” and just keep skipping.

My birthday happened, and it was great. I’ll quit talking about it because that’s all I’ve been talking about, and I think we’re all ready for me to get back to Kate Middleton and Jessica Simpson (HOW MANY DOES SHE HAVE IN THERE?!) and pretty much anything else at all, so long as it’s not my birthday. I did have an awesome day and felt very special, what with the Facebook and Instagram activity posted on my behalf, plus the Haagen Das ice cream cake I had at work , and the beautimous flowers waiting for me when I got home (see bottom of post). To top it off, some of my most very favorite people are en route to NYC for the weekend…! cc: Buff, JohnnyT, Gulia, ESchenk, Undercover Turkey Lover, the entire Baxter Fam…

whelmed

Sister loves me all of the time

As you know, the rooftop idea wasn’t panning out so well, so I’m having the Most Anticipated Event of the Year my bday fiesta at B Bar. I like B Bar. And tonight Laureo, Sissy, and I are dining at Tartine. Tomorrow I’m going to have my parents over for happy hour and will serve charcuterie and the bottle of 2002 Dom Perignon that my co-worker gave me, and then a group is dining at The Dutch. I’m trying to make things easier for creepy internet stalkers.

In addition to moi, here is a list of things that turn 30 this year. I, for some reason, am not on the list, but there are some other noteworthy things with which we’re all familiar/fond of.  (credit:  Sista Lynn)

1. The Minivan. Well isn’t that just perfect.

Allie_Minivan

2. J. Crew. 30 years of classic preppiness – J.Crew and I are both known for being classically preppy.

3. Sweet Valley High. Have you read my version of Sweet Valley High?? It’s good. I grew up reading these behind my mother’s back – in hindsight, I get why she didn’t approve…but maybe we should pick our battles #portentofwhatwastocome

4. Hooters. Ha. Hahahaha.

And 26 other things (the internet, AOL, the Moonwalk…), all of which are making me feel like a real spring chicken :|

Despite the all-consuming task of birthday brattiness, I have been able to fit in some traveling. We all went to LA for Char’s graduation from UCLA’s business school, and we had a really good trip! I don’t think I complained about the active activities once – I even did some running on my own time. This is unprecedented vacation behavior on my part, but I think it made the trip much more pleasant for everyone…I’ll try to remember that moving forward. Unlike my other visits to LA, this was the first where it didn’t feel like a different planet – I could even imagine living out there…?

cali

Santa Monica as seen from The Fairmont; hiking in Topanga Canyon; Manhattan Beach #somanyfilters

 And now…..for the news:

-I found this article about how to give a toast interesting – would have been nice to have before any number of the epic bombs I’ve delivered in recent years.

-I need this travel accessory on the immediate. Not only would it prevent the head-bob, but it would partially shield my face (my eyes, mainly) from view…and it’s much more subtle than a paper bag, which is my other option for sleeping in public.

hoodie neck pillow

-This blog: Sport Balls Replaced with Cats. Yes? No? I am laughing; I hate cats – DUNK IT. I’m excited to watch Game 7 tonight of the NBA Finals. I am confused as to how the winter sport of basketball is still going on, but you’d have to be dead to not be interested in watching this one…I hope it’s not a huge blowout, I hate it when things that are amped up to be awesome let you down…don’t let me down, LeBron. (BBT recommends: one of my favorite columnists projects the champion – it’ll be the Spurs or Heat in seven.)

cat dunk

Regarding future BBT posts…I think I want to try something different, something I wouldn’t normally do, and then write about it. Like The Diary of a Juice Cleanse, or The Day I Walked Around with My Skirt Tucked in my Underwear. Maybe neither of those things, but something of that ilk…I need some direction.

Cher: I have direction…

Josh: Yeah, to the mall!

Enjoy your weekends – I know I will – and, instead of saying no, try saying yes. It’s the SUMMER OF YES!

And a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one my oldest, favoritest friends: K!!!! I hate we’re not celebrating together, but we’ll make up for it soon…x’s and o’s to infinity. I’m going to try and one-up the most beautiful arrangement of flowers I’ve ever received…allow me to reiterate the word “try.”

flowers from K

Thank you, K!!

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments »

Where’s my penthouse?

Posted by AllieB on December 28, 2011

There is a lot of money floating around in Russia, and this guy’s got a bulk of it. Dmitry Rybolovlev, a fertilizer kingpin – obviously, just purchased the most expensive apartment in New York City for his daughter, a freshman in college. There are a few things worthy of note regarding this exorbitant acquisition:

  1. If you are a freshman in college in NYC, or even in the general ballpark of that age, it would behoove you to make friends with Mr. Fertilizer’s offspring. 2 words: house party. (Jordan, I’m looking at you.)
  2. Mr. Crap is ranked as the world’s 93rd richest person, worth approximately $9.5 billion as of March this year. That makes my head hurt.
  3. He is also in the process of getting divorced. Well, hellooooo Mr. Smelly {head toss, shoulder dip}

Check out pics/floor plan here. I want to go to there.

That’ll do.

Did you have a nice Christmas? I did. It was lurvely. My sisters were home for nine full days, so we got in lots of QT. My favorite new things include: my express electric kettle – it boils water in like under a minute!! Given the amount of Easy Mac tea I consume, this is a real luxury. I am also obsessed with my new Pierre Deux “Eau de le Maison” candle. It is the best smelling candle I have ever smelled, so you can imagine my dismay when I realized that Pierre Deux has closed. Ever resourceful, I did done some research and found the maker of this candle: Seda France. I also love my new DvF luggage – I never saw myself as a glamorous traveler, but this stuff is a real game changer – as well as my new home goods. Notably missing from my new possessions: a penthouse.

As we’ve learned, I am no good at reviewing movies, but I do have to acknowledge Girl with a Dragon Tattoo: it is awesome. It is very long, but unless you consume a (movie sized) medium diet coke AND a (brought from home) can of La Croix, you should be okay. Rooney Mara is excellent at encapsulating Lisbeth Salander’s rage/intelligence, and Daniel Craig is exactly who I always pictured to play Mikael Blomkvist. Even if you haven’t read the books, you need to see it. BBT says: two thumbs way up.

Uno mas shout out: Antica Posta. My whole fam went on Christmas Eve, and we enjoyed what was probably one of my top three meals of 2011. From the arugula salad (so fresh with LOTS of parmesean) to my roast chicken entree (a seasonal special – bursting with flavor) and my side of pasta (a carbonara of sorts with a gemelli noodle – I should note this is not a “side” so much as a $13 appetizer option…I wanted leftovers…) – it was awesome. Plus the bar area is very cool with double-height vaulted ceilings and cozy club chairs. Huge fan. I’d like to say I’ll be going back soon, but, while the food is not unreasonable, the wine list kinda is, and that’s what gets me. BBT says: have someone take you in the very near future.

I realize this whole post is kind of apropos of nothing, but ya gotta grease the wheels before you get back on the bike…or something, I just made that up.

HAPPY ENGAGEMENT TO SISSY AND BILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There are no words that could do my happiness justice. It’s just…yay.

I don’t put boys on BBT, so here’s a pic of me and Sissy. Mash.

 Oh, and if you don’t have a lot going on in the workplace this week, take some time to appreciate this 35 picture retrospective of B Spears. Amazing. That “Hit Me Baby One More Time” video was to me what Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video was to pop culture in general…

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , | 6 Comments »

Ugly people hang out with ugly people

Posted by AllieB on July 26, 2011

I always get a kick out of seeing what people goog to land on BBT. In the past month, the following searches have resulted in page views, and it is proof positive that 1. people are weird, and 2. I need to look into editing my keywords.

  • Casey Anthony drowned my puppy
  • camel-toe athletics
  • does love cause swamp butt
  • don’t mess with bbt
  • how to make people feel awkward and leave
  • lesbian boat captains
  • Missy Baxter author
  • how do I get ants out of my topsy turvy?
  • ugly people hang out with ugly people

It’s 7:30 in the morning and I laughed really hard cutting and pasting these. That says a lot because not very much is funny at 7:30 in the morning.

It is beyond me how some marketing brainiac could ruin wine, but – somehow – the people behind these “chick wines” have managed to do so. The most unforgivable: “Mommy’s Time Out.” I’d rather drink water than drink that – I don’t think I’d even find the humor in a gag gift. What might be permissible is the “Middle Sister” as I, Allie, am a quintessential middle child and the second born of three sisters. I will say, the descriptions of every varietal give me nerd chills, but at least it’s not a creepy third person reference to motherhood….Pants, I’d get you the Sweet & Sassy in honor of SassySissy. Tina, I’d get you the Wicked White because I like her sunglasses. I, obviously, am Forever Cool. Der. I know a lot of oldest siblings, I’m realizing…it does not surprise me that there is no Oldest Sister wine – no offense, but that doesn’t sound very good. Type A Cabernet!

IRREGARDLESS, I could get 3 bottles of Two Buck Chuck for the price of one of these, so…I guess this is all a moo point. (Source: this very hard to read article of which I could only get through the first paragraph – where are the pictures??)

Joey: All right, Rach. The big question is, “does he like you?” All right? Because if he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.

Another title I was considering for today was, “Apropos of Nothing.” Actually, I considered naming BBT that at first. That would not have been irrelevant, given how things have panned out re: my ADHD content, but Baxter Bark Twice has worked out nicely…BBT is catchy; AON is an international corporation that provides risk management services…me, not so much.

Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: , , , | 6 Comments »

My hair is glorious enough for the both of us

Posted by AllieB on March 11, 2011

I tend to devote my Fridays to Kate Middleton. That’s not weird at all; it is actually 100% normal. My friend, Hadley P, is the best resource for my Kate 411, and she really outdid herself this time. This is a brilliant blog (I even talk like Kate does – we both say “brilliant”): it takes photogs of Kate – candids, poses, what have you – and then writes captions that are funny.

Hilar. I think I’ll do that with pictures of people I know.

OK…now this is a fun game…

 

Posted in Arbitrary, Princess Kate | Tagged: , , , , , | 9 Comments »