Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Posts Tagged ‘wednesday’

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OH HAPPY DAY

Posted by AllieB on November 9, 2011

As many of you know from spending time with me, or from this blog post, I am never without my trusty Vaseline. Before you’re like, “EW” know that Vaseline is one of the few balms without any of those pesky additives like Carmex, which I am convinced have some sort of ingredient that makes you addicted. I am not addicted to Vaseline, I just have a very strong fondness for it. Anyway, when they came out with the small flip top size I was thrilled, but it’s still kind of bulky and boys people will look you at strangely when you whip it out in public/at a work meeting. I’d seen Tina’s convenient little pocket sized ones that her boss would bring her back from Europe, but I could not find them ANYWHERE. I even looked on the internet, and when I tried to get drugstores in the UK to ship it to me they’d say, “We’re terribly sorry, but there seems to be something wrong with your postal code. It is five digits long and it has no letters.” Well, KMA, England because – once again – Amazon has saved the day.

Available at Amazon.com. I’ve purchased all 4.

I should probably take my love for Vaseline down a notch/less public.

I met with my interviewee at Bocado last night, and I’m getting to work on the interview write-up…it was really fun, and I’m already thinking about who’s next. Short list includes: Carlos of Irby Avenue fame; a lead singer of a famous rock band; a fashion designer; Missy Baxter.

Posted in Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , | 4 Comments »

That is brand new information.

Posted by AllieB on July 27, 2011

Newsflash! Kristen Cavallari and Jay Cutler broke up…that’s actually sad – he seems normal and she’s less annoying now that I only read her tweets and never have to hear her speak. Plus she just did a photo shoot of her in all these wedding dresses…ok, everyone has seen SATC: don’t do a PHOTO SHOOT featuring you in a wedding dress before your wedding. Counting chickens, jumping guns, etc…tabloids are brutal, aren’t they: “TRAGIC wedding dress photos.” Ouch. At least she looks really pretty…

Oh, it’s not such a newsflash, People has been reporting this since Monday. Well, no one told me.

I don’t like doing current events, even of the celebrity ilk…but I do like saying “Newsflash!”

I was on a run this morning, and I had a random thought that interrupted my counting (I don’t listen to music, I count – it’s good practice): maybe Casey Anthony didn’t drown my puppy, but it is really insane that she is serving zero days in jail. I mean, I know that is like the opposite of a newsflash, but it’s very troubling to me. CCHaynes – did you see her in the Caribb?? I hope I run into her somewhere; I would call Leila Ann Nancy Grace immediately.

I never thought I’d say this, but I’m considering a switch from The Today Show to Good Morning America. Ann Curry is the WORST morning host ever, from her “joking” about slang for “breasts” (as awk as it sounds) to her interview with the most recent Congressional of Medal Honor winner: upon hearing his incredible story she succinctly and sensitively said, “Amazing. Pretty darn amazing.” I could do better than that…Kathie Lee could do better than that.

Word of the day:

hoary (adj)

-tedious from familiarity; stale

-ancient

-grey or white with age

That mean old witch puts the ‘hoar’ in ‘hoary.’

(wordplay)

No? You try.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

Informative Disinformation

Posted by AllieB on July 20, 2011

GROUP DINNERS!!! Who doesn’t love having a meal of food with 18 people at a long, rectangular table and being stuck at the end, relegated to a corner with the dunce and the doofus, and then getting a check for $80 when you had a salad and shared a bottle of $25 wine (and possibly a martini – but still, that’s clearly too much. (Unless your martini was made of gold, as the margarita at Varasano’s is. $17.50 is the price for a 4 oz tequila beverage…just so you know…order accordingly.)) Well, per this Handy Guide shared with me by OD, How to Split a Check, that’s just the way the cookie crumbles at group dins. (If you’re 25 and older – if you’re under 25 and you’re reading this…well, isn’t that nice for you.)

Now, the observant among you have read this, processed it and realized that in a group-dining scenario, one is effectively incentivized to order lavishly and imbibe irresponsibly, because not everyone else will, and thus what you end up paying will be disproportionate to what you actually owe, meaning that you make out like a bandit while your schmuck pals who exercise restraint in the name of fiscal responsibility end up subsidizing you. This is correct!

I don’t really love group dinners. Unless we go to Treehouse and Bethenny splits the check as we order – I always appreciate that. Rory at Paul’s does that, too. Also, be advised, not eating and only drinking at restaurants doesn’t do you much good. If you’re really trying to save $$, bring vodka disguised in a water bottle and order club soda. I’M KIDDING that’s pathetic – don’t do that. Everyone will stare at you in disdain and someone might even ask you to leave. If the situation is that dire, stay home. Wisdom: imparted.

Why does no one have house parties anymore? Jeez. Lindsay, maybe we need to be telling more people about your beer pong table that folds up into a briefcase.

RUMORS!! Unbeknownst to me, there have been rumors circulating that J Simps is pregs – she’s aggressively denying them, of course…It’s not for me to say, obviously, but this picture may or may not be the reason why…

Source: Daily Mail

And Leo dumped Boobs!!! Muuahahahaha. That’s what you get for being desperate to be Mrs. Leonardo DiCaprio.

Evidently the niceness of yesterday was a one-time thing.

Happy almost Bday, BBT! Un día más

Posted in Arbitrary, Imparting Wisdom | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

I love that piece you’re wearing

Posted by AllieB on May 4, 2011

The Annual Met Gala is one of my favorite nights of the year because of the clothes. Yes, it turns out BBT is not only a female, but she has girly interests – the mind reels. For instance, I love Brooklyn Decker, Gwyneth and Diane Kruger (I always love Diane Kruger and that Joshua Jackson is still a real hunk, IMO):

all images from elle.com

Gorgeous pieces, all of those.

I’ve just learned the devasting news that Kristen Wiig is retiring two of her SNL characters forever, PERMANENTLY. I saw the headline and was like, “oh no, so long as it’s not Gilly or Penelope…” Obviously, it’s Gilly and Penelope. I’m so sad!!! Actually, Gilly I can do without – I’m not sure I’ve even seen one with Gilly – but I love Penelope. I love people who insist upon one-upping others – they are so easy to make fun of later. I even did a post about Penelope. RIP, Penelope.

I’ve started a new gig! As of today, I am now a “contributor” to Buckhead Patch, an online news resource that is about…Buckhead. For my first post I cheated and posted basically the same entry I wrote about Tex’s Tacos a couple of weeks ago. I made a few changes, but I figured it was a good idea to kind of ease in. Anyway, if you want to read something similar to but not identical to something you’ve likely already read – check it out. OR if you just want to show support to the good, hardworking proprietors of Tex’s, send the link on: Food Truck Phenomenon: Tex’s Tacos.

I can’t remember…. is tomorrow Friday? (credit: Char)

No, but it is Cinco de Mayo…! More on that tomolla. ¡Olé!

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , | 6 Comments »

Boundaries 101

Posted by AllieB on April 13, 2011

YES!!! J Simps is talking in public again. She’s one of People’s Most Beautiful People for 2011, and, in the grand tradition of throwing herself under the bus whenever a potentially positive situation presents itself, she offered this sound bite in her interview:

Being well-endowed since sixth grade, the blonde bombshell points out that “there’s no way to hide them as much as you want to bandage your boobs down.” Simpson, 30, has since learned to embrace her chest as her “best accessory,” telling PEOPLE, “Now I can make my way in and out of parking tickets: Show the girls and give a wink!”

We get it: you have big boobs. This is not brand new information and now is certainly not the time to draw attention to the fact… Yes, you are attractive and I’m sure people in Middle America find you endearing, but your marketable appeal is more that you run a billion dollar fashion company that basically prints money. So…please stop talking about “the girls.” Really. Just stop.

This week’s Do Not Want features a completely creepy new trend called the “Cuddle Party.”

A Cuddle Party is: A structured, safe workshop on boundaries, communication, intimacy and affection. A drug and alcohol-free way to meet fascinating people in a relaxing environment….this playful, fun workshop has been a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection…a great networking event to meet new friends, roommates, business partners and significant others.

How unpleasant. I’m sure Cuddle Party Rule #1 is meant to assuage my discomfort, but WHY ARE THEY IN THEIR PAJAMAS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

  1. Pajamas stay on the whole time.

Let’s play Would You Rather: would you rather attend a Cuddle Party for five minutes, or drink a cocktail of three-day-old chili and dip spit. I would choose the latter twice, perhaps thrice, over a CP. I really think I would.

Sister gets credit for Cuddle Party (you would), and I read about the chili/spit concoction in the WSJ a few weeks ago – this jokester Livian Hernandez is a catcher for the Arizona Diamondbacks, and sipping on sludge is the least of his shenanigans. He once ate 11 bananas in four minutes. Shenanigans, I tell you!

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , , | 4 Comments »

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