Posted by AllieB on August 2, 2011
I am not feeling the blogosphere this week – not at all, whatsoever.
Yesterday was National Girlfriend’s Day. I started to write something about that, but it got real lame real fast, so I quit. Luckily, it never got this lame….all of these things are cringe-inducing, even the part about the Titanic because that was 100 years ago and it’s time to let it go. Besides, I think we can all agree that Rose, there was definitely room on that board for Jack. MOVE THE F OVER.
Blake and Leo were photographed bike riding together in NYC. Dweebs.
I don’t know what my deal is…things have been going so well. Maybe it’s that August is such a blah month. I think the French have nailed it – they take the whole month off. When we were there last summer we found nary a single patisserie that was open. Well, BBT is no patisserie (newsflash!), but I’m thinking I might follow suit. Souper Jenny did…why can’t BBT?? Potato/potatto (potato/vodka).
Maybe I just need some green tea lemonade from Starbucks.
Oh, this helps: Ron Swanson paraphenalia. I can’t spell that word. Paraphenelia. Paraphernalia. There we are. Huh – I did not see that second “r” coming.
I realize this is a lot like my random links Fridays, and I honestly don’t give a crap. It’s used, but you’ll take it.
Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: flat face, moody Tuesday, ron swanson | 2 Comments »
Posted by AllieB on July 29, 2011
Suri’s Burn Book. Suri Cruise talks shop/smack/shudders at the idea of a working class school and “lunch in a box” – on Mario Lopez’s child: LOOK AT THE CANKLES ON THIS BABY. But like, seriously…she’s got a point. (credit: Pal)
Emails from an A**hole. I bet I know a lot of people who have some fodder for this site in their archives…
Preemptively strike back against the Mundays!! Apparently the average person doesn’t crack their first smile til 11:16 AM on Mondays. Here’s how to turn your frown upside down and drive your co-workers crazy with an up and at ‘em attitude.
This is surprisingly not lame: Six life-changing uses for binder clips. I’m serious – the toothpaste and cable cord ones, especially…and if you’re a frat star, the beer stacker.
An amazingly in-depth and borderline scientific look at the sex lives of the Friends characters. I’m talking percentages and stuff. Somebody has waaaay too much time on their hands.
I know a vehicle that needs this accessory immediately if not sooner. Hint: it rhymes with “penny can.” (credit: Leila)
CKB is running the San Francisco marathon on Sunday morning. It’s her second time running it. She’s a machine, my sister is…goooooooooo CHAR!!!
This is the most recent picture I have of the two of us doing something active together.
#TGIF #lazy #betterthannothing
Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: Baxters, Friday, Friends the TV show, who likes activities!? | 1 Comment »
Posted by AllieB on July 28, 2011
Sometimes I think I don’t like someone, but then I see them in comparison to someone who I really don’t like, and suddenly they don’t seem that bad. Case in point: who wore it better betwixt ole Boobs Legsly and Taylor what’s that? I just fell asleep Swift.
My favorite part is the description:
The actress (Boobs) dressed up her Tibi frock with leopard-print pumps in June, while a month later, the singer (Zzzzz) added a metallic belt and bow-bedecked wedges.
If I had a nickel for every pair of bow-bedecked wedges I had…I would have zero nickels. Whereas if I had $100 for every pair of leopard-print pumps, I’d have $100. I’d much rather the latter than the former. Maybe I’m coming around on BL…
There’s really no way to say this that will sound normal, so I’m just going to put it out there: last night I dreamed that one of my very good guy friends gave birth to a chicken. Nurses Baxter and Edge were on hand to assist, and he gave birth to a healthy 3lb chick. I can see the whole thing vividly in my mind, and I’m still very unsettled with the whole affair. And I’m never going to tell who it was, so don’t bother asking – as if you’d even want to know. I wish I could un-know it.
Overshare? I’m running low on material/am so sore I can barely lift my arms to reach my keyboard. Moving is the HATE.
Henceforth, whenever I cannot think of a relevant entry heading, I’m just going to look at the search terms that landed people on BBT and use that as a title instead. Starting with today…so if you were hoping to find some answers to the Q, you’re S.O.L. Actually, that reminds me of a funny joke I saw on the interweb this week – on a message board someone posted:
Q: What is a good comeback to someone who tells you to go make them a sandwich?
A: Well, you better come back with a G.D. sandwich.
Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: Boobs Legsly, Goog, TMI | 3 Comments »
Posted by AllieB on July 27, 2011
Newsflash! Kristen Cavallari and Jay Cutler broke up…that’s actually sad – he seems normal and she’s less annoying now that I only read her tweets and never have to hear her speak. Plus she just did a photo shoot of her in all these wedding dresses…ok, everyone has seen SATC: don’t do a PHOTO SHOOT featuring you in a wedding dress before your wedding. Counting chickens, jumping guns, etc…tabloids are brutal, aren’t they: “TRAGIC wedding dress photos.” Ouch. At least she looks really pretty…
Oh, it’s not such a newsflash, People has been reporting this since Monday. Well, no one told me.
I don’t like doing current events, even of the celebrity ilk…but I do like saying “Newsflash!”
I was on a run this morning, and I had a random thought that interrupted my counting (I don’t listen to music, I count – it’s good practice): maybe Casey Anthony didn’t drown my puppy, but it is really insane that she is serving zero days in jail. I mean, I know that is like the opposite of a newsflash, but it’s very troubling to me. CCHaynes – did you see her in the Caribb?? I hope I run into her somewhere; I would call
Leila Ann Nancy Grace immediately.
I never thought I’d say this, but I’m considering a switch from The Today Show to Good Morning America. Ann Curry is the WORST morning host ever, from her “joking” about slang for “breasts” (as awk as it sounds) to her interview with the most recent Congressional of Medal Honor winner: upon hearing his incredible story she succinctly and sensitively said, “Amazing. Pretty darn amazing.” I could do better than that…Kathie Lee could do better than that.
Word of the day:
-tedious from familiarity; stale
-grey or white with age
That mean old witch puts the ‘hoar’ in ‘hoary.’
No? You try.
Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: a little rude and a little breezy, my faves, Nancy Grace, wednesday | 8 Comments »
Posted by AllieB on July 26, 2011
I always get a kick out of seeing what people goog to land on BBT. In the past month, the following searches have resulted in page views, and it is proof positive that 1. people are weird, and 2. I need to look into editing my keywords.
- Casey Anthony drowned my puppy
- does love cause swamp butt
- how to make people feel awkward and leave
- how do I get ants out of my topsy turvy?
- ugly people hang out with ugly people
It’s 7:30 in the morning and I laughed really hard cutting and pasting these. That says a lot because not very much is funny at 7:30 in the morning.
It is beyond me how some marketing brainiac could ruin wine, but – somehow – the people behind these “chick wines” have managed to do so. The most unforgivable: “Mommy’s Time Out.” I’d rather drink water than drink that – I don’t think I’d even find the humor in a gag gift. What might be permissible is the “Middle Sister” as I, Allie, am a quintessential middle child and the second born of three sisters. I will say, the descriptions of every varietal give me nerd chills, but at least it’s not a creepy third person reference to motherhood….Pants, I’d get you the Sweet & Sassy in honor of SassySissy. Tina, I’d get you the Wicked White because I like her sunglasses. I, obviously, am Forever Cool. Der. I know a lot of oldest siblings, I’m realizing…it does not surprise me that there is no Oldest Sister wine – no offense, but that doesn’t sound very good. Type A Cabernet!
IRREGARDLESS, I could get 3 bottles of Two Buck Chuck for the price of one of these, so…I guess this is all a moo point. (Source: this very hard to read article of which I could only get through the first paragraph – where are the pictures??)
Joey: All right, Rach. The big question is, “does he like you?” All right? Because if he doesn’t like you, this is all a moo point. It’s like a cow’s opinion. It just doesn’t matter. It’s moo.
Another title I was considering for today was, “Apropos of Nothing.” Actually, I considered naming BBT that at first. That would not have been irrelevant, given how things have panned out re: my ADHD content, but Baxter Bark Twice has worked out nicely…BBT is catchy; AON is an international corporation that provides risk management services…me, not so much.
Posted in Arbitrary, Really? | Tagged: Goog, LAME, SassySissy, wine | 6 Comments »