Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

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Wedgie

Posted by AllieB on September 9, 2011

The last five things I goog’ed on my p.o.s. Blackberry:

  1. haiku
  2. when does Californication season 5 come back on
  3. how tall is David Duchovny
  4. Mr C’s Howell Mill
  5. your mama’s so fat

Five recent searches that found BBT:

  1. jail bait camel toe
  2. why cats are evil
  3. an aversion to unattractive people
  4. camel toe tina (I can’t make this stuff up)
  5. Starbucks

Happy weekend, Go Dawgs, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAXTON! I look forward to celebrating you yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

P.S. this is what came up when I searched “large human birthday”

I guess this is supposed to be Paxton.

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 5 Comments »

Home is where my stuff is

Posted by AllieB on September 8, 2011

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: please stop talking/tweeting/dancing/any other gerund you can think of:

Spotted on Twitter yesterday:

Been getting lots of questions about this alleged breast reduction…not to worry! I LOVE MY BOOBIES!!!! They aren’t going anywhere!!!

One guess – uno – as to who the culprit is behind this gem. J SIMPS! I am, admittedly, very excited about her wedding. Does anyone know when that is? Better yet, is anyone going? If you are, I would like to work out some sort of deal giving me access to all of your media. I will pay you zero dollars for exclusive rights – very lucrative, very fair; get back to me.

I’m having some issues of the interior design ilk. My new abode is absorbing all of my furniture so it seems quite empty. I do not prefer clutter, but I do want it to seem…lived in. I think the window treatments I’ve been eyeing will help, and I have some ideas pertaining to wall decor…I was discussing this with my neighbor last evening, and the following conversation ensued:

Allie: My apartment is eating my furniture.

Kara: You know what you need? A plant.

Allie: Yes, but then I’d have a plant.

Do people have plants? It seems like a turn towards Catville, and I am not going to Catville. Pass. If I bring any living organism into my home, it will be a PUPPY. Here are some ideas I like:

From left:

-lofty aspirations (wordplay)

-I will, one day, have a book nook

-this is somewhat plausible, save for my laziness

Credit: PINTEREST.

On notice: Souper Jenny. You know what you did – $7 salads and sammies? For shame. It’s not so much the amount as the fact that, for the past two years, every time you return from your month long vacation (don’t even get me started on that nonsense – this isn’t France!), you jack up your prices by a buck. I don’t like it. Henceforth, the only time I will deign to dine in your restaurant is on Thursday nights when there are grilled cheeses. I think it’s time to serve that one with prosciutto/arugula/goat cheese on an Israeli bagel.

Baxter, out. TGIT.

Posted in Arbitrary, Celebs | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

Why don’t you have a seat, Encyclopedia Brown

Posted by AllieB on September 7, 2011

Oh, hello. Time for some Q & A.

Are the Dawgs going to disappoint us all season?

I don’t know, but Saturday sucked. Royally. And the uniforms of both teams were eye sores – let’s keep the fashion statements off the field, shall we boys, and I won’t try to discuss a topic about which I know nothing. Next question.

Is it time for an eggtervention?

Yes. I love eggs. I just made an accidental and surprisingly healthy french toast by putting slightly runny scrambled eggs on a bagel round then going on a fit of tidiness and cleaning my kitchen. By the time I got to my breakfast, I had a borderline french toast situation that was a-mah-zing. If I talk about this anymore I will lose 99% of my readers (Mom, you’ll still read, right? You love eggs!), so, self – consider this an intervention. INTERVENED.

Does the phrase, “clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife” have new meaning?

Unfortunately. It’s the Billy Joel lyric that the sad-and-getting-sadder Lindsay Lohan tattoed on herself. She might as well have gotten, “I am begging you, please do not take me seriously” inked on her torso and called it a day. Or maybe, to keep things short and sweet, a simple “hot mess.” I’m going to stop talking about her, it’s just too pathetic.

Is writing BBT sometimes a pain?

Pass.

What restaurants have you been to recently of which you are especially fond?

One Eared Stag in Inman Park. I went with BP to a swanky cocktail thing there a few weeks ago. Like: bar treats are not your standard bowls of nuts, but mason jars of cured bacon. Like: their Moscow Mules. Like: they had lard. I have a special fondness for all places that offer lard on their charcuterie plate. It’s got a very cool yet chill ambiance, and – AND – perhaps the best thing of all: it is directly across from the Marta station. I’m not sure which one, but how’s that for convenient!

Also, all things in the Westside Provisions District. I dined with Pants and Pal at Taqueria del Sol yesterday, then we continued our binge at Star Provisions. I want to live in Star Provisions. And I want to dress my non-existent child in things exclusively from B. Braithwaite. And myself in things from Anthro and Ann Mashburn. Christiane Celle, founder of Calypso clothing was in Atlanta recently on a scouting trip and she – the taste maker herself – declared the Westside to be a very “chic” neighborhood.

Remarkable: my crap Blackberry camera makes even Star Provisions look unappetizing. Also not helping: Sister and Allison’s mauling of the treats.

Molly, I think you’re very wise to suggest my B’berry to shoot our Bootlegz post. Molly is the founder of Bootlegz – you can read all about them here and BOLO for our upcoming post. This pleasantly fall-esque weather reminds us that fall is around the corner…! I.E., time to purchase an accessory that ensures our jeans stay put beneath our boots. More on that later.

Just to highlight the difference between my camera and, say, an iphone – enjoy this dramatic image I swiped from BP’s instagram images. My life is sad.

The skies are angry!

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

To-go is the new go-to

Posted by AllieB on September 1, 2011

I am so excited for this weekend I can hardly stand it. 

Firstly, it’s already Thursday. This week has flown by.

Secondly, I got a ticket to the game and I’m sitting with people I genuinely like..! Don’t worry, I’ll pace myself and we’ll all have an awesome time.

Thirdly, it’s not 98 degrees.

I went to El Azteca last night. I knocked over so many glasses that the waiter offered to bring me my next beverage in a sippie cup :| It just wasn’t my night, so I wound up getting my food to go. To-go, Sista tells me, is the new go-to.

Check out my “Check these out” column to the right – I’ve added some new additions worthy of your attention, including Picks of the Week of which I am already a huge fan and is especially timely given the time of year it is. Read: football season! I also added a link to my astrology source. See, BBT appeals to the masses.

If you goog “Georgia Bulldogs hot girl” you are in for some surprises, and not all of them are good.

Clearly, I am anticipating not posting tomorrow, so consider this your weekend send-off…

xoxo, BBT

 I wonder if I alienated any of my readers…?

Posted in Arbitrary | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

He figure skates, and it is glorious

Posted by AllieB on August 31, 2011

If you don’t already know about this (and you live in Atlanta), then either your friends don’t like you very much or you live in a hole:

Reserve yours today! There are still plenty reservations left…hopefully it’s not just oatmeal. Betsy and MPvZB shared this with me Monday, and I’ve been meaning to post…my bad.

Speaking of fine dining, it’s Midtown Restaurant Week. My laziness has precluded me from sharing this, also, but…better late than never. It ends Sunday.

Pardon me while I climb up on my soapbox…there we are. Ok, music on websites. There is nothing more off-putting than opening up a web page  and being BLASTED by some techno bullcrap – particularly when in the office or library or just would rather not have a heart attack…PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE THIS. Aqua Bistro: GUILTY. 9 of out 10 hair salons: GUILTY. I remember one Friday morning back in the day when I rolled into work sufficiently under the weather, was browsing lunch options and happened upon a web page whose music was so loud and offensive that I vomited. True story. Except it’s not true, but it very easily could be. Just ask me first…is all that I ask.

I miss JBax :(

So, because I want a new car, new clothes, and window treatments, I’ve started babysitting more. Kids say the darndest things! Cut to: the other night:

I was babysitting these cute little blonde kids – Jackson, age 4, and Grace, 2. They are two little peas in a pod and seriously so adorable I wanted to just gobble them up. We watched Toy Story 2, took baths (they did, not me), read our favorite books (Spider Man comic books – questionable…how about Where the Wild Things Are or something), and even played paddy cake. Anyway, we were hunkering down for bed, when Grace announced she was missing Jessie. Jessie is her nighttime friend. Jackson and Grace are very self-sufficient and insisted upon finding Jessie themselves. I said sure, go ahead, and began my manhunt for the pantry while they searched. After not hearing anything from them for awhile, I called to Jackson, “how are things going?”

“Well, Miss Allie, they’re going great – but they’re not going super great.”

I die. And I never did find the pantry…either they don’t eat anything but refrigerated food or they have like a secret revolving book case – I swear I looked everywhere.

WordPress has just recently allowed me to change the color of my fonts. It’s a veritable RAINBOW of FUN!

Also, I was reading BBT on an iPad recently – it really doesn’t translate well to mobile devices, does it? Sorry. I’m right on top of that, Rose.

Posted in Arbitrary, Food & Drink | Tagged: , , , , , , | 2 Comments »