Today is not a bad Munday. I bet this is because Kim Kardashian got married on Saturday and I am just beside myself waiting for the exclusive photogs she sold to People for $2.5 million. That, or the two-part E! special for which she raked in $15 million. Kim Kardashian is a jerk, for the record – her engagement ring is 21 carats; she REGISTERED for gifts (oh really, Kim? Which place setting do you need? How about some monogrammed dish towels?); and all three of her Vera Wang dresses were a “gift.” Like I said – she’s a jerk…a lucrative businesswoman, but a jerk nevertheless.
Lindsay Lohan, a guest to the nuptials, made the egregious error of copying Pippa Middleton’s green dress she wore to the Royal Wedding in April. FAIL. Lindsay Lohan isn’t looking doing so hot these days…I’m still convinced that a turn on Dancing with the Stars could revive her fledgling (and that’s being generous) career, but she seems oblivious to my repeated suggestions, so I’m throwing in the towel. I can only do so much.
If someone wore that white dress to my wedding, I’d pour a glass of red wine down the front without a moment’s hesitation. SO inappropriate.
Technological humor!!! BBM betwixt Boof and BBT referencing my profile photo:
Last year, I mentioned this article that ranked college towns and had the gall to list GAINESVILLE, FL as #1 spot with Athens, GA coming in at #2. I’m fairly certain the auteur of said article now serves cheeseburgers and fortunately someone infinitely wiser, more normal, and with the ability to tell the difference between the gutter and awesome has come out with a new ranking:
1. Athens, Georgia
People who don’t care for college football (which is frankly, unthinkable) will find a rich art and music scene in the southern haven of Athens which also offers some truly unique eateries.
Yes, REM and the B-52s got their start down in Athens, but to the pure at heart, these are just side benefits to a town of 115,000 that keeps Sanford Stadium hopping with over 92,000 screaming fans as the Bulldogs take care of business down “between the hedges” on Saturday’s in the fall.
So, do you crave just one factoid about picturesque Athens? Well, the university (which opened at the early date of 1785) shut down from 1863-66 due to the Civil War.
Gainesville still made the list, but at a much less respectable #11 or something, and I think I’d quite like to go to Corvallis, Oregon…on that note, Char and SRM – I hope you’re having a nice time driving cross country. I believe this morning finds them in Dallas, TX, home to temperatures above 100 degrees. Safe travels!
I was chatting with Caro yesterday about food (standard), and we were ruminating over the delight that is a fried egg, cheese, eng muffin (I opted for light Havarti and a bagel round), and hot sauce sammy…I did an $83 trip to the grocery store yesterday, just like a real live adult, and purchased all of the ingredients for said treat – YUM. I just made one for breakfast, and, if I had an iphone that could do the meal justice I would’ve shared a photog – my B’berry camera makes even the most delicious meals look like vom. It was quite a day at the grocer – heretofore my biggest purchase has been $30 or so… For awhile I followed around a Hot Mom decked head to toe in Lululemon. She pondered waffles for five minutes; I pondered waffles for five minutes. For the record: frozen waffles are GOOD. BP mentioned them awhile back, and I got some whole-grain varietal that is really, really tasty. Anyway, Miss Lulu got a bit wary of my shadow-game, so I had to forge out on my own…it was a far cry from my Grocery Store Shame of yesteryear, so I think that’s really something to be proud of.
The opposite of good sense: the Today Show is currently airing a section on padded bras and high heels for toddlers. Or, “tods,” right, Katie? Wonder if you’ll be pedaling platform pumps this weekend at the Mart…I blame Toddlers & Tiaras, a show I adamantly refuse to watch. High heels on 5 year olds is something only Suri Cruise can pull off.
I posted this on the BBT FB page yesterday, but this video of Anne Hathaway doing a Lil Wayne style rap is kind of amazing. In the words of Leila: even left field did not see this coming. Obviously need sound.
You know Tina. She’s the one who manhandled some poor, unsuspecting dude at a lady’s self-defense class. I don’t think he saw the annihilation that was Tina coming. Here’s video 1 and here’s video 2 – they are equally amazing.
But today, on the day that is her birthday, I share with you a different kind of collage, one that really encapsulates Tina and how she loves to be close to her nearest and dearest.
Whoops! That’s not the one I meant to post. This is a picture taken on Sunday in Daying County in China. See how they’re lounging – not the least bit maniacally or at all invading the personal space of their neighbors – in this swimming hole. I just blacked out thinking about the TERROR that is this swimming situation. Boundaries.
I digress: here’s the one I really meant to share that shows how awesomely awesome our Martina is. XOXO
This pink background is the closest I could get to coral…
Meet & greet: the lap giraffe. At its tallest, it grows to be approximately 30 inches, or 2 feet 6 inches tall. As a bambino, it is a mere 6 inches tall. If you want to see the live cam of the farm on which they live in Russia, go here. If he’s not there, don’t worry – he come back.
A two week old lap giraffe.
Ivanka – she is the most famous and wealthy of the lap giraffes
Per the website:
Petite Lap Giraffes are very funny animal that require special care. They need lots of love. Hugs and kisses every day. Otherwise they make tears.
Grooming: a bubble bath once a week with purified water is all they need.
In case you haven’t picked up on it, lap giraffes do not exist. But how cool would that be if they did?! Get it together, Science – I want a lap giraffe like NOW, Todd. I need two – one for me and one for my good friend, MPvZB.
I definitely fell for the hoax of the lap giraffes. I mean, I had my doubts, but they can clone and crap nowadays, so why can’t they have miniature giraffes…it was when I got to the pictures of Ivanka that I was like, “waaaaaaait a second…” I believe anything you tell me can always discern fact from fiction…and make use of the helpful web page, Snopes. And tap into the wonder they call “common sense.”
I blame Tuesday for this momentary lapse of judgement. Tuesdays and Hilary are always to blame for my mishaps.
I went to the PGA tournament out at Atlanta Athletic Club on Friday. It was extremely hot and extremely fun. I have a new found respect for all things golf, largely thanks to Adam Scott. WHERE HAS HE BEEN HIDING because he is one attractive Australian – AUSTRALIAN!! Geoff Baxter very kindly humored my crush and we bird-dogged him through the back nine….I am quite sure we made eye contact on more than one occasion, and I know he felt it, too – our “connection.”
JBax moved to NYC on Saturday and CKB and Stanton are moving to LA tomorrow. WTF! I am excited to have reason to visit these places, but I feel a little abandoned…and you know Missy isn’t happy.
You’re a bit of an over-sharer this week, Gemini, so try to pay attention to the body language of your fellow conversationalists.
BOLO for social awkwardness…!
I haven’t had Tex’s in like two weeks, and I’m craving it bad. Here’s this week’s schedule. I might finally do the Howell Mill Food Truck Night Event Extravaganza – I’ve been talking about going for ages and have yet to pull the trigger. I’ll be the first to admit that BBT can be a lot of talk and not so much with the action. Carne asada: get IN my belly.
Lastly, I would like to direct your attention to the very bottom of the home page where I have – ever so helpfully – added page numbers for your browsing enjoyment. You’re welcome.