Baxter Bark Twice

Do as I say, never as I do

Struggleville Shrimp

Posted by AllieB on September 26, 2011

I am having a blog-related identity crisis. Whenever people ask me what my blog is about, the answer with which I usually respond is, “nothing.” Now there’s a glowing recommendation. Please, everyone, read my blog about absolutely nothing! For this reason, I think I might take some time and figure out what Baxter Bark Twice is all about. I’m not eschewing BBT altogether – I mean, there’s some good stuff here – but I need some direction.

Mel: I’d like to see you have a little direction.
Cher: I have direction!
Josh: Yeah, towards the mall.

Cher and I are totes on the same page…

Meanwhile, here’s what I think about some stuff:

READ: Girls in White Dresses. If you are a dude, skip to the next item. This book is about 20-30 year olds in New York City just doing stuff that normal people of that age do. It’s funny and relevant and a legit page turner. It’s kind of a fresh take on the whole Everyone I Know Is Getting Married thing, but it also talks about first jobs, first homes, first loves, and my soul mate this guy who is very wealthy, suffers from a severe case of OCD and, once a week, cooks up a box of Kraft mac n’ cheese and eats it straight from the pan, mauling it like a lion might its prey. It’s not quite as strange when read in context. This is a quick and easy yet somehow still poignant read.

WATCH: 2 Broke Girls. It was funny. The two main characters are funny, and I think there’s great potential. Tonight @ 8:30 – CBS.

WATCH: Revenge. Ok, I’m hooked. I have no idea how this show could possibly last longer than one season, but that is fine with me so long as it’s a season full of episodes like last week’s pilot. I mean, it’s obviously trashy, but it’s filmed in the lovely setting of the Hamptons, and the main character (Rebecca from Brothers and Sisters) doesn’t annoy me that much. The story line is rife with scandal, extra-marital affairs, addiction, secrecy, blackmail, and a really cute yellow lab named Sam…basically it has all the makings of good, quality television. Wednesdays @ 10 p.m. – ABC.

DO NOT WATCH: Whitney. In a word: AWKWARD. Actually, I’ll probably watch it a couple more times before I ditch it completely, but I don’t do well with live studio audiences.

DRINK: Bleasdale Broad-Side Shiraz Cabernet Malbec. It is a blend, according to Captain Obvious, and it’s one of the more delicious reds I’ve had recently: very drinkable with any of a number of things, I’m sure – I had it with pizza. It retails for about $15 in stores, give or take, and sells for $24/bottle at Treehouse. Warning: don’t actually drink it at Treehouse because they will serve it to you piping hot and in a 3 oz glass – take it home to chill and enjoy in a more reasonably sized glass, like this one.

So, I’m a work in progress.

Over-thinking it in Atlanta,


Sidebar – re: today’s heading, do you remember the Struggleville Shrimp from Last Resort?? Good food; good times.

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Why do we never play Night Crawlers anymore?

Posted by AllieB on September 12, 2011

It was a rough weekend for fans of Georgia-based athletics.

Today, being Monday, means that I am tired and cranky. I’m also emotionally drained after watching hours of 9/11 coverage yesterday. The most surreal part – for me – was watching the Today Show from that Tuesday morning ten years ago and seeing things unfold again, as though for the first time…it was spooky. God bless America.

Non sequitur: you know what pisses me off – when people won’t tell you where they got something. Refer to the following exchange:

Allie: oh, I just LOVE that piece you’re wearing!

Frenemy: why, thank you.

Allie: where did you get it?

Frenemy: where did I get what?

Allie: that piece you’re wearing – where is it from?

Frenemy: <looking around, checking watch> oh, did you say something?

Allie: alright. <wrangles Frenemy, checks label of piece> thanks, that’s all I wanted to know

Not telling me won’t keep me from finding out. If anything, it will encourage me to track it down and buy it, just to spite you. SO THERE. Also, like I said, I’m pretty cranky and complaining about totally random and irrelevant things does wonders to boost Monday morning morale.

I am going to CALI tomorrow!!! It’s for work, but it also means I get to see my seeester and Stanton and maybe some other people up and down the Coast. We’ll be covering a lot of ground. I have no idea what to pack, what to expect, or really what is going to happen at all. At least I’m pretty sure I’m going tomorrow?? I hope it’s not today. I ought to check on that – I already know I mis-booked my flight home, so who’s to say I got the one out there right….get with the program, BBT. I haven’t spent much time in southern Cal, so I’m excited to get the grand tour. Must-do’s include a meal at The Grilled Cheese Truck and I don’t really care what else.

Anyway, suggestions welcome.

I leave you with:

Tex’s Tacos schedule for the week (don’t worry guys – no matter what happens between me and the grilled cheese truck, you’re still my #1)

New shows are starting to premier this week – per your suggestions, here is a link to my Fall TV Preview that I, for some reason, posted about two weeks too early. I am most excited about the Always Sunny in Philedalphia premier on Thursday, as well as Up All Night, also on 9/15. Kara, get the DVR ready.

Dennis Reynolds: How much cheese have you eaten today?
Charlie Kelly: How much cheese is too much cheese?
Dennis Reynolds: Any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese!
Charlie Kelly: I had a lot of cheese, I had a block of cheese.
Mac: You had a block of cheese?
Charlie Kelly: I got really, really nervous I just started eating cheese

Does anyone want to buy a minivan? I know of one that’s for sale. Seriously.

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Posted by AllieB on September 9, 2011

The last five things I goog’ed on my p.o.s. Blackberry:

  1. haiku
  2. when does Californication season 5 come back on
  3. how tall is David Duchovny
  4. Mr C’s Howell Mill
  5. your mama’s so fat

Five recent searches that found BBT:

  1. jail bait camel toe
  2. why cats are evil
  3. an aversion to unattractive people
  4. camel toe tina (I can’t make this stuff up)
  5. Starbucks

Happy weekend, Go Dawgs, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAXTON! I look forward to celebrating you yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

P.S. this is what came up when I searched “large human birthday”

I guess this is supposed to be Paxton.

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Home is where my stuff is

Posted by AllieB on September 8, 2011

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: please stop talking/tweeting/dancing/any other gerund you can think of:

Spotted on Twitter yesterday:

Been getting lots of questions about this alleged breast reduction…not to worry! I LOVE MY BOOBIES!!!! They aren’t going anywhere!!!

One guess – uno – as to who the culprit is behind this gem. J SIMPS! I am, admittedly, very excited about her wedding. Does anyone know when that is? Better yet, is anyone going? If you are, I would like to work out some sort of deal giving me access to all of your media. I will pay you zero dollars for exclusive rights – very lucrative, very fair; get back to me.

I’m having some issues of the interior design ilk. My new abode is absorbing all of my furniture so it seems quite empty. I do not prefer clutter, but I do want it to seem…lived in. I think the window treatments I’ve been eyeing will help, and I have some ideas pertaining to wall decor…I was discussing this with my neighbor last evening, and the following conversation ensued:

Allie: My apartment is eating my furniture.

Kara: You know what you need? A plant.

Allie: Yes, but then I’d have a plant.

Do people have plants? It seems like a turn towards Catville, and I am not going to Catville. Pass. If I bring any living organism into my home, it will be a PUPPY. Here are some ideas I like:

From left:

-lofty aspirations (wordplay)

-I will, one day, have a book nook

-this is somewhat plausible, save for my laziness


On notice: Souper Jenny. You know what you did – $7 salads and sammies? For shame. It’s not so much the amount as the fact that, for the past two years, every time you return from your month long vacation (don’t even get me started on that nonsense – this isn’t France!), you jack up your prices by a buck. I don’t like it. Henceforth, the only time I will deign to dine in your restaurant is on Thursday nights when there are grilled cheeses. I think it’s time to serve that one with prosciutto/arugula/goat cheese on an Israeli bagel.

Baxter, out. TGIT.

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Why don’t you have a seat, Encyclopedia Brown

Posted by AllieB on September 7, 2011

Oh, hello. Time for some Q & A.

Are the Dawgs going to disappoint us all season?

I don’t know, but Saturday sucked. Royally. And the uniforms of both teams were eye sores – let’s keep the fashion statements off the field, shall we boys, and I won’t try to discuss a topic about which I know nothing. Next question.

Is it time for an eggtervention?

Yes. I love eggs. I just made an accidental and surprisingly healthy french toast by putting slightly runny scrambled eggs on a bagel round then going on a fit of tidiness and cleaning my kitchen. By the time I got to my breakfast, I had a borderline french toast situation that was a-mah-zing. If I talk about this anymore I will lose 99% of my readers (Mom, you’ll still read, right? You love eggs!), so, self – consider this an intervention. INTERVENED.

Does the phrase, “clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife” have new meaning?

Unfortunately. It’s the Billy Joel lyric that the sad-and-getting-sadder Lindsay Lohan tattoed on herself. She might as well have gotten, “I am begging you, please do not take me seriously” inked on her torso and called it a day. Or maybe, to keep things short and sweet, a simple “hot mess.” I’m going to stop talking about her, it’s just too pathetic.

Is writing BBT sometimes a pain?


What restaurants have you been to recently of which you are especially fond?

One Eared Stag in Inman Park. I went with BP to a swanky cocktail thing there a few weeks ago. Like: bar treats are not your standard bowls of nuts, but mason jars of cured bacon. Like: their Moscow Mules. Like: they had lard. I have a special fondness for all places that offer lard on their charcuterie plate. It’s got a very cool yet chill ambiance, and – AND – perhaps the best thing of all: it is directly across from the Marta station. I’m not sure which one, but how’s that for convenient!

Also, all things in the Westside Provisions District. I dined with Pants and Pal at Taqueria del Sol yesterday, then we continued our binge at Star Provisions. I want to live in Star Provisions. And I want to dress my non-existent child in things exclusively from B. Braithwaite. And myself in things from Anthro and Ann Mashburn. Christiane Celle, founder of Calypso clothing was in Atlanta recently on a scouting trip and she – the taste maker herself – declared the Westside to be a very “chic” neighborhood.

Remarkable: my crap Blackberry camera makes even Star Provisions look unappetizing. Also not helping: Sister and Allison’s mauling of the treats.

Molly, I think you’re very wise to suggest my B’berry to shoot our Bootlegz post. Molly is the founder of Bootlegz – you can read all about them here and BOLO for our upcoming post. This pleasantly fall-esque weather reminds us that fall is around the corner…! I.E., time to purchase an accessory that ensures our jeans stay put beneath our boots. More on that later.

Just to highlight the difference between my camera and, say, an iphone – enjoy this dramatic image I swiped from BP’s instagram images. My life is sad.

The skies are angry!

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